If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chicago Tribune) Hero Pro tip: When you rob a cabbie, always shoot him six times, because five times won't do it. He'll still kick your ass and hold you down until the cops get there   (chicagobreakingnews.com) divider line 63
More: Hero, lower lips, Chuck Norris, Medical Center, Fort Wayne, Waukegan, ballistic trauma, taxi, kicks  
•       •       •

15008 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2010 at 6:55 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
olddeegee [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 01:43:28 PM
I'm never under tipping a cab driver again.Or shooting one....again....
 
Helen_Arigby
2010-03-14 02:01:01 PM
Holy crap! When subby said the cabbie had been shot five times, I thought that meant he'd been winged! No-o-o, the dude gets shot in the neck, face, and back and he still kicks ass!

Quick, what's his secret identity? My vote's on the goddamn Batman.
 
SingaporeSling [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 03:28:23 PM
Hey! That's my hometown! Didn't know we were THAT tough.
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 06:55:39 PM
"Police found a small-caliber 5-shot revolver..."

There you go. He obviously wasn't shot with a .45 or this story would be quite different. Remember kiddies! .38 caliber or less is for pussies!
 
Digitalstrange
2010-03-14 06:59:17 PM
Harry Canyon wanted for questioning.....

/not even close to obscure
 
misanthropic1
2010-03-14 06:59:42 PM
What was he using, a .22?
 
Korovyov
2010-03-14 07:00:23 PM
I guess the cabbie felt lucky.
 
kinshane
2010-03-14 07:01:52 PM
Or, just don't rob and shoot cabbies.
 
texdent [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:05:27 PM
They can rebuild him, make him stronger. He'll be RoboCabbie.
 
TheGreatZarquon
2010-03-14 07:05:35 PM
"Don't use the .38, that thing won't even make it across the street. Use the .44 magnum."
 
misanthropic1
2010-03-14 07:06:08 PM
kinshane: Or, just don't rob and shoot cabbies.

Spoilsport.
 
Ringshadow
2010-03-14 07:06:36 PM
Huge, clanging brass balls on that guy. Hope he makes it through ok.
 
alhazred
2010-03-14 07:09:27 PM
cheerbear.webs.com

No, no - if you shoot him, you'll just make him mad!
 
Friend_Computer
2010-03-14 07:10:54 PM
www.inquisitr.com
 
Beerguy [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:12:55 PM
My dad was a cabbie at one point in his life. He had a guy hold him up once with a knife, my dad was stabbed several times before he beat the crap outta the guy and subdued him until the cops got there. I remember seeing my dad's scars as a kid, freaked me out.

/true story
 
pleaseleavemebe [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:13:13 PM
I use an .88 magnum. It shoots through schools.
 
hestheone
2010-03-14 07:14:35 PM
I told you he was hardcore.

/how the heck can you get shot 5 times and capture but not kill the guy who shot you? That's just asking for it to happen again.
 
Forced Perspective
2010-03-14 07:15:19 PM
Beerguy: My dad was a cabbie at one point in his life. He had a guy hold him up once with a knife, my dad was stabbed several times before he beat the crap outta the guy and subdued him until the cops got there. I remember seeing my dad's scars as a kid, freaked me out.

/true story COOL STORY BRO


FTFY.
 
AuCinaoaMie
2010-03-14 07:21:23 PM
Just use a big enough gun to get the job done. 12 gauge with 00 buck seems to work quite well.
 
af21x
2010-03-14 07:24:15 PM
This requires a BAMF tag.
 
OtherLittleGuy [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:27:01 PM
Sextuple tap?
 
NittLion78
2010-03-14 07:27:27 PM
Approves:

christiandivine.files.wordpress.com
 
SomeJagoff
2010-03-14 07:27:51 PM
I didn't know that Chuck Norris was driving cabs now.
 
cryinoutloud
2010-03-14 07:28:49 PM
Beerguy: My dad was a cabbie at one point in his life. He had a guy hold him up once with a knife, my dad was stabbed several times before he beat the crap outta the guy and subdued him until the cops got there. I remember seeing my dad's scars as a kid, freaked me out.
/true story

I bet you were a pretty well-behaved kid, weren't you?
 
mavrickatubc
2010-03-14 07:29:05 PM
assets.nydailynews.com
 
Beerguy [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:33:44 PM
cryinoutloud: Beerguy: My dad was a cabbie at one point in his life. He had a guy hold him up once with a knife, my dad was stabbed several times before he beat the crap outta the guy and subdued him until the cops got there. I remember seeing my dad's scars as a kid, freaked me out.
/true story

I bet you were a pretty well-behaved kid, weren't you?

Yup, but I did fark up a few times and got my ass whupped for it....deserved each and every one though.
 
StreetlightInTheGhetto [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 07:35:57 PM
hestheone: I told you he was hardcore.

/how the heck can you get shot 5 times and capture but not kill the guy who shot you? That's just asking for it to happen again.

Because he's Batman.

I hope that guy doesn't have to pay for a drink for a long, long while.
 
Thoroughly With Foil
2010-03-14 07:37:39 PM
img.snlarc.jt.org

TO BILL BRASKY!!
 
mansonozz
2010-03-14 07:41:11 PM
Came for Kane, leaving happy.
 
keithrogan
2010-03-14 07:43:54 PM
"Police found a small-caliber 5-shot revolver in the back seat of the cab."

Hadda be a .22 because anything bigger is known as a "High Caliber" weapon to the press. Oh, and revolver means any kind of handgun, not just a revolver.

Still, my hat is off to this cabbie!
 
theinsultabot9000
2010-03-14 07:48:42 PM
this guy's skin must be MADE of kevlar
 
Igor Jakovsky
2010-03-14 08:01:46 PM
i44.tinypic.com

/approves

Avi: Six times?
Doug the Head: In one sitting.

//realize the guy in TFA only got shot 5 times.
 
baddogg
2010-03-14 08:04:10 PM
Balls of steel
 
jherek
2010-03-14 08:05:05 PM
SingaporeSling: Hey! That's my hometown! Didn't know we were THAT tough.

Unless your hometown is Bumblefark, 3rd World Country, he probably isn't from your hometown.
 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 08:06:35 PM
Pro-tip #763: After you rob a cabbie, don't ask him to take you home. When my husband was moonlighting as a cabbie, someone in Seaside Heights robbed him, then jumped in the cab & told him to drive him home. Oooookay--just makes it that much easier to tell the cops where to find you.

/They found him
 
Kentucky Fried Children
2010-03-14 08:14:16 PM
Came for the Bullet-Tooth Tony, leaving satisfied
 
thefireandpassion
2010-03-14 08:15:50 PM
FTA: The suspect told police that he called the cab in Waukegan for a ride into Zion. When questioned by police, the suspect said he shot the cab driver several times intending to rob him.

Charges against the suspect were pending approval by the Lake County state's attorney's office.

I farking hate our justice system and news reporting. HE ADMITTED THE CRIME HE'S NOT A SUSPECT.
 
cmb53208
2010-03-14 08:16:52 PM
What, no Taxi Driver references?? I'm leaving dissapointed.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 08:24:08 PM
cmb53208: What, no Taxi Driver references?? I'm leaving dissapointed.

Are you talkin to me? I don't see anyone else here...

www.oldmovies.net.au
 
Mayhem of the Black Underclass
2010-03-14 08:36:30 PM
I read the article looking for the caliber, but instead I find ages. 44, 38, those would have work, but no, this idiot used a 22, and all over 19 bucks, at 3:10, on the 3100 block. It just didn't add up.
 
Ivan_and_Norma_Sweeney
2010-03-14 08:40:35 PM
I'm a cab driver, so I'm getting a kick...

/no, really
//cool story, huh?
///would probably just hand over the 45 bucks or so I'd have on me
 
belhade
2010-03-14 08:45:04 PM
It was probably the cabbie's fault for charging him out-of-city fare. He was just trying to get his overpayment back.
 
spawn73
2010-03-14 08:46:13 PM
So submittard robs cabs, nice to know.
 
shellks
2010-03-14 08:47:51 PM
The cab driver was in critical condition this afternoon at Advocate Condell, where he was ungoing surgery, said Chris Vicik, a hospital spokeswoman.

How do you "ungo" a surgery?
 
Mudflap
2010-03-14 08:49:20 PM
gun control nao!
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 08:50:20 PM
shellks: The cab driver was in critical condition this afternoon at Advocate Condell, where he was ungoing surgery, said Chris Vicik, a hospital spokeswoman.

How do you "ungo" a surgery?

They unstitch you and unclamp the unbleeding arteries. Then they put the bullets back in.
 
HellRaisingHoosier
2010-03-14 09:16:25 PM
thefireandpassion:
I farking hate our justice system and news reporting. HE ADMITTED THE CRIME HE'S NOT A SUSPECT.


You are innocent until found guilt by the Judical system. That way the Police can't just say that you admitted to being guilty.
 
Magorn [TotalFark]
2010-03-14 09:41:22 PM
www.collider.com
 
voodoowizard
2010-03-14 09:48:33 PM
Someone sounds black.
 
suid
2010-03-14 10:22:25 PM
imgs.xkcd.com
 
Displayed 50 of 63 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »