"And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

So go to the hospital, get some treatment or help, whatever, just show a little due diligence along with your prayer.

Kurmudgeon: "And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

So go to the hospital, get some treatment or help, whatever, just show a little due diligence along with your prayer.

A devout Christian heard an urgent news report on his radio that a flash flood was within minutes of entering the peaceful valley where he lived. Immediately he went to his knees and prayed for safety. The words were still on his lips when he became aware that water was gushing under his door. He retreated to the second floor and finally onto the roof of his house.
While he sat on the roof, a helicopter flew by and the pilot asked over the loudspeaker if they could lift him off. It's not necessary since I have the Lord's protection, he replied.
Moments later the house began to break up and he found himself clinging to a tree. A police boat, braving the waters, approached him for rescue, but he assured them that the Lord would save him. Finally, the tree gave way and the man went to his death.
Standing before the Lord, he asked, Lord, I'm glad to be here, but why didn't You answer my prayer for safety?
The Lord responded, Son, I told you over the radio to get out of there Then I sent you a helicopter and a motor boat! What more did you want?!

As God intended?

So it worked?

Natural selection in action.

"What more did you want?!"
Indeed...

A great example of what religion does to your common sense. Kinda like playing with snakes to prove you love Gawd. Kinda shows that whatever and wherever he is, he isn't paying attention to you.

Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?

As a Pentecostal Minister's daughter I am getting a kick...

/obligatory

She fixes the cable?

I hate Pentecostals. Seriously.

Satanic_Hamster: Kurmudgeon: "And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

So go to the hospital, get some treatment or help, whatever, just show a little due diligence along with your prayer.

A devout Christian heard an urgent news report on his radio that a flash flood was within minutes of entering the peaceful valley where he lived. Immediately he went to his knees and prayed for safety. The words were still on his lips when he became aware that water was gushing under his door. He retreated to the second floor and finally onto the roof of his house.
While he sat on the roof, a helicopter flew by and the pilot asked over the loudspeaker if they could lift him off. It's not necessary since I have the Lord's protection, he replied.
Moments later the house began to break up and he found himself clinging to a tree. A police boat, braving the waters, approached him for rescue, but he assured them that the Lord would save him. Finally, the tree gave way and the man went to his death.
Standing before the Lord, he asked, Lord, I'm glad to be here, but why didn't You answer my prayer for safety?
The Lord responded, Son, I told you over the radio to get out of there Then I sent you a helicopter and a motor boat! What more did you want?!

Yes, god works in mysterious ways. Specifically those ways which can never confirm his existence at all. Except for back in the bible days, of course. Back then there were crazy miracles happening all over the place.

lordaction: Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?

Yup.

Either that or this is Fark - a place where we come to mock stupid people.

In his defense, he repeatedly told her to come out, but she kept saying, "Is that you Lord? This is a test, isn't it? You're testing me? Okay God, I'm staying in here!" -- "No honey, it's really me, quit farking around."

Chronic Malanga: Natural selection in action.

This. More air for us.

lordaction: Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?

You're in the right place. Come on in.

god said...dont be a dick
follow that, and youll be pretty much okay

Subby says Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast

The real headline says Fla. Woman Dies at Home After Weeklong Religious Fast.

So, yeah...

/no point, other than exaggeration equals greenlight, I guess

lordaction: Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?


Fark religious thread? Check.

lordaction sandy vagina? Check.

All is well with Fark.

pestluvr: Subby says Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast

The real headline says Fla. Woman Dies at Home After Weeklong Religious Fast.

So, yeah...

/no point, other than exaggeration equals greenlight, I guess

If I recall correctly from the local evening news, she was in there for 21 days. And she'd done it several times before, once for 40 days.

/Will never understand crazy religious people.

I never understood how fasting makes you more religious.

pestluvr: Subby says Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast

The real headline says Fla. Woman Dies at Home After Weeklong Religious Fast.

So, yeah...

/no point, other than exaggeration equals greenlight, I guess

Article says Feb. 7 to March 5. That is weeks by my book.

/not subby

lordaction
Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?
No, we came here to make fun of dummies. There level of stupidity can be determined by the rigidity of their faith.....after all, they believe what can't be proven......and much of what has.

pestluvr: Subby says Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast

The real headline says Fla. Woman Dies at Home After Weeklong Religious Fast.

So, yeah...

/no point, other than exaggeration equals greenlight, I guess

Article says the door didn't open from 2/7 till 3/5, so... article/article headline discrepancy really.

Arrest him for criminally negligent manslaughter.

This is the funniest farking thing I've read all week.

Mission Accomplished

pestluvr: Subby says Wife of Pentecostal minister locks self in room for weeks to fast

The real headline says Fla. Woman Dies at Home After Weeklong Religious Fast.

So, yeah...

/no point, other than exaggeration equals greenlight, I guess

We can tell you DNRTFA. Want to know how?

Kimpak: I never understood how fasting makes you more religious.

Starvation can cause you to hallucinate and have "visions"?

Is this where the atheists come to make fun of a dead lady while at the same time claiming they do not need to believe in God to have morals?

YUP

Sometimes the voices in your head are just voices in your head.

hahahahaahhahaah breathe.. hahahahahaha
how can we get the rest of them to do this? I feel sorry for the children they let die when they are sick but when they do it to themselves ...hahahahaha a hee a hooo a ha ha ha. maybe glen beck will endorse this behavior and we can thin out the herd

notoverit: Satanic_Hamster: Kurmudgeon: "And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

So go to the hospital, get some treatment or help, whatever, just show a little due diligence along with your prayer.

A devout Christian heard an urgent news report on his radio that a flash flood was within minutes of entering the peaceful valley where he lived. Immediately he went to his knees and prayed for safety. The words were still on his lips when he became aware that water was gushing under his door. He retreated to the second floor and finally onto the roof of his house.
While he sat on the roof, a helicopter flew by and the pilot asked over the loudspeaker if they could lift him off. It's not necessary since I have the Lord's protection, he replied.
Moments later the house began to break up and he found himself clinging to a tree. A police boat, braving the waters, approached him for rescue, but he assured them that the Lord would save him. Finally, the tree gave way and the man went to his death.
Standing before the Lord, he asked, Lord, I'm glad to be here, but why didn't You answer my prayer for safety?
The Lord responded, Son, I told you over the radio to get out of there Then I sent you a helicopter and a motor boat! What more did you want?!

Yes, god works in mysterious ways. Specifically those ways which can never confirm his existence at all. Except for back in the bible days, of course. Back then there were crazy miracles happening all over the place.

Yeah, since God was always so willing to prove himself back in the Testament days, how come we never hear any booming voices in the sky now? Wouldn't he want to show the Atheists irrefutable proof of his own existence?

/religions is funny
//and not the "ha-ha" funny, either

Kimpak: I never understood how fasting makes you more religious.

It makes you hallucinate. Religion is an hallucination, therefore hallucinating brings you closer to god.

That room is never going to smell okay.

Kurmudgeon: "And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God."

So go to the hospital, get some treatment or help, whatever, just show a little due diligence along with your prayer.

Yes, this.

There's a lot of emphasis on fasting, but it's always clear that you are not expect to fast if you are frail or ill and that you shouldn't fast to the point that you hurt yourself. Fasting is supposed to focus the mind on God, but it's not supposed to hurt you.

Funny how everyone focuses on THIS fluff piece, while the real news is shuffled off to the side:

Fowl pulls 250-pound trainer in chariot

/That's no poultry weight

I'm pretty sure she just fast-tracked to heaven.

All religious people should try this. Immediately. Come on, have some faith! You do have faith don't you??

If he'd allowed her to starve herself to death because an invisible sky man named Schmoo had told her to do it, he'd be in jail now. Since the invisible sky man was named Yahweh he's probably safe.

I never understood the whole fasting thing. It's good to be all devoted to your deity and all that but why make yourself suffer to the point of physical harm/death? Doesn't that contradict the whole "respect the gift of life you were given" clause?

I'm sure even God facepalm's at gestures like this.

God is an alien.

after reading the article my immediate thoughts are

why don't more fundies do this?