Wow. #3 and #8 I guess. Gimme a few beers and I'll take #5 as well.

Slim pickins this week.

I think #8 was arrested for stealing #12. "Petit" theft?

The judge says you got two choices: 30 days in the hole or a charity gig down at the county clinic. You figure that's not a bad deal after your partner left you holding the bag with a kilo of weed - especially since it was a bag he "found" while creeping a condo after the owners had unwisely left a window unlocked.

The head nurse gives you a clipboard and tells you to take down the names of the patients as they come in ("Know how to spell 'John Smith'?" she says. "You'll see a lot of him.") and collect any insurance cards they might have, even those that have obviously been printed on a laserjet down at the public library.

It's a typical zoo - shootings, cuttings, backroom abortions gone wrong. Kids trying to fly off roofs with a blanket for Batman wings.

Things pick up around 9 when a black-haired lassie turns up at the desk. "Son of a biatch head-butted me and then back-handed my chin with a ring on," she explains. You figure this doesn't really need the attention of the doc or the nurse, so you retire to an exam room.

Her duds are covered in blood so you hand her a set of scrubs. She's not shy about changing - you notice that she not only goes commando, she's got a nice Brazilian going. While you clean off the cuts and bandage the chin, she says she's really trying to stay off the radar, is there any way this can be kept, er, quiet.

That's always the shame of domestics, you think; but, hey, what a world. You're standing there making sure there are no other cuts on the top of her head, she's sitting on a stool, and the medical exam proceeds to the point where she demonstrates there's no damage to her mouth - or her tongue - from the blow to the chin.

While you're zipping up, you ask if she needs any help. Y'know, place to stay for the night down at the women's shelter.

"Fark no," she says. "Most of this ain't my blood. I found the guy who swiped a load of weed out of my place and was working him over with a baseball bat when he got in a few shots. Did find out he had a partner. I'll get him next."

Arrested for traffic violations.


They see me rollin', they hating

He's going to have a devil of a time finding a decent job

separated at birth?

Like the fist of an angry God... lol

OldManDownDRoad: The judge says you got two choices: 30 days in the hole or a charity gig down at the county clinic.

I'm a fan of Harry Freakstorm in these threads but

A++++++, would LOL again