If DC characters are so awesome, why do their comics suck?

I don't even think it would be a contest. Joker would wipe the floor with the Goblin.

Have to remember, the Joker is essentially the evil clone of Batman so the entire deus ex machina is in play.

Lame. Thats like saying Superman vs that guy who carried around the gangster puppet from batman.

I can't even picture this stupid matchup. Why would they fight?

But, but, Green Goblin has that flying thingy, and, and, he has those pumpkin bombs!

IdBeCrazyIf: deus ex machina

Damn thing won't load. Anyways, you gotta go with Mr. J. The most iconic of all comic book villains.

/Mark Hamill voiced both the Joker and the Hobgoblin in the 90s
//yes, I know the hobgoblin isn't the Green Goblin, but he's obviously a tribute character.

not being able to load is lame and sad

"I don't even think it would be a contest. Joker would wipe the floor with the Goblin."

I don't see it, Goblin is much more imposing physically and has a ton of techo weaponry besides.
The only thing that has saved the Joker from Batman is Batman's unwillingness to kill. Norman Osbourne has no such qualms and is used to tangling with super-powered adversaries.
Goblin, no contest, would take out the cackling skinny guy quickly.

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: I can't even picture this stupid matchup. Why would they fight?

Goblin would look sideways at Joker, who would then beat him senseless with a rock/crowbar/blunderbuss before using an acid-squirting flower on him. They'd fight mostly because both are raging sociopaths.

If DC characters are so awesome, why do their comics suck?
I like DC Comics.

airplayne: But, but, Green Goblin has that flying thingy, and, and, he has those pumpkin bombs!

pd771: Damn thing won't load. Anyways, you gotta go with Mr. J. The most iconic of all comic book villains.

/Mark Hamill voiced both the Joker and the Hobgoblin in the 90s
//yes, I know the hobgoblin isn't the Green Goblin, but he's obviously a tribute character.

I knew Hamill was awesome. All the way back to my childhood which evolved around Nintendo and Star Wars.

So, is this going to be a game of who can stop laughing first and fight?

Green Goblin: I'll throw this pumpkin at you!

Joker: I killed everyone you loved last night. And I paid a guy in a clown suit to fark their eye sockets.

Green Goblin: ......

Goblin would be dead before he knew he was in a fight. He'd be busy trying to build a bomb and Joker would just spray him with poison and go on trimming his nails.

This is something I would go see in a movie theater. Sounds interesting.

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: I can't even picture this stupid matchup. Why would they fight?

Because one stole the other one's ______ in an attempt to _________.

Is there any other plot or motive for villians to fight?

For those who can't load:


Rob:

First off let me say this: It is lovely and refreshing to have a supervillain smackdown. The supervillains have none of the tedious moral codes which complicated our superhero smackdown. Stay tuned for horrible people doing horrible things to each other in the name of science.

Next, oh fans, friends, and people who are here to rain down derision upon me like a shower of molten lead with lasers attached to every drop, I have three things to say to you: Gay. Rocket. Skateboard.

Today's battle is between The Joker, the twisted, perfect psychopathic foil to Batman's weird sociopathic singlemindedness, and The Green Goblin, who has, well, a gay rocket skateboard.

I am a huge Spider Man fan, you guys know this, but we are pitting the most sinister, immoral mind in comicdom versus a guy who rides around on a homosexual Seadoo. He might as well be called the Pink Gobbler and shoot hot coconut cream out of a fleshy firehose. Oh, I know I open myself up to our usual haters explaining that it is, in fact, I, RobbieRobTown, who is the homosexual Seadoo captain, and I admit that I am the only unmarried 1/3 of The Correctness due to my obvious inability and disinterest in pleasing a woman.

Perhaps, as well, this is unfair to the Green Goblin because it is homophobic AND it is undermining the danger of scorching shrapnel from a pumpkin grenade. Norman Osborne has faced madness, just as the mysterious Joker has. As well, I was pleased by the inclusion of the Harry Osborne sub-plot in the Spidey films.

I just don't think Norman Osborne has it in him to do the things necessary to really win this fight. You know who does though? The Joker.

If The Joker wanted to demoralize you, he would begin by secretly and repeatedly raping your cat. When you got home from your long days at work, as weeks passed by, your cat would get progressively more terrified of humans, and yet more needy, scratching you in your nethers as you napped on the couch. Then the Joker would rape your boss at work. Then, before you discovered all this raping was going on, The Joker would rape you and leave you alive because it would upset and destabilize you more than just killing you or cutting off your wang- though, he might also cut off your wang, and fashion a wang grenade out of it, which he would use to frighten a sexually puritanical Norman Osborne.

The Green Goblin could have all the nifty technical doodads he wanted to have, because the Joker would have spent his prep time draining the younger Osborne's blood all over the goblin-board, so that when Norman stepped on it, he would be forced to remember the appalling murder of his son committed right on the very surface of his queer hover pogo.

Winner: Joker.
Loser: Gay Rights Discourse.

Dave:

Ahhh Smackdown, how we've missed you. Your ability to slam our server around like a small bug, your protracted discussion of all things comic, your throngs of comments telling me how wrong/stupid/gay I am. This one will be much trickier, simply because we have less contact with our villains, less chance to truly get to know them. On the plus side, no Superman, and every one of the villains has personality to spare.

Green Goblin has some pretty neat weapons in his arsenal, and his mobility, his distance attacks, and his speed are a dangerous combination. Not to mention he has super speed, agility, stamina, and a healing factor (cuz let's face, who the fark in the Marvel universe doesn't have a healing factor these days?).

The Joker, on the other hand, has no super powers. He has his intellect, and his sheer madness. Doesn't seem like much, but it's enough to make him Batman's archenemy, and anyone who underestimates him usually ends up dead.

Showtime: Gobby comes out flying, literally. He strafes the playing field with pumpkin bombs, while Joker runs around wildly, staying just out of reach, cackling wildly. The crowd roars with approval, as Joker is knocked over by one of Goblin's strafing run.

Goblin turns around, ready to fly in for the kill, when he hears the horrific screams of the entire crowd, who begin convulsing and die from lethal does of Joker Gas, coming from the blimps overhead. When his attenion returns to Joker, Goblin sees him holding a sign with giant letters reading "DON'T LOOK DOWN", which Goblin, of course does. He notices, for the first time, a small "sticky bomb" which explodes in a flash of light, blinding Goblin, which sends him smashing into the ground where Joker previously stood.

When he staggers out of the wreckage, he's knocked down, and finds himself on the ground, with Joker sitting on his chest. Joker injects something into Goblin's neck. Goblin looks up, no longer able to move, and says "You killed them all.?" Joker smiles, busily stuffing a mini-pumpkin bomb into Gobby's mouth, followed by duct tape. Joker leans in and whispers "boom". He walks away, while Goblin's face explodes, looking much like a Jack o'Lantern.

Winner: Joker

TONY

GREEN GOBLIN: Get ready to die, Clown

JOKER: Say, Gobby...I don't suppose you want to see a magic trick, do you? Make this pencil disappear? No? EVERYONE has seen that movie. Remind me to kill Heath Ledger...OH WAIT...I ALREADY DID HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!


There can be no question; The Green Goblin has EVERY advantage going into this. He's 10 times stronger than Batman. He has the rocket sled and a variety of other lethal gadgets. He's got the speed, and the will to kill.

But who has more experience than dealing with a much stronger, faster foe with all kinds of cool gadgets than the Joker? There is no way the Joker is dumb enough to go toe to toe with this guy. He'll have to outsmart him. Fortunately that's kind of his thing.

As for taking the "Gay surfboard" out of the equation, the Joker could fall back on the old giant gun in the pants routine. Or alternatively, he could pull a big purple remote control out of his pocket, bring the rocket sled to a sudden stop and watch Gobby go flying off of the front end. Either way, I think we can agree that taking the sled out is something the Joker can and would do.

The pumpkin bombs are a trickier proposition Batman doesn't use guns or grenades. The Joker's patented "Stand there, laugh and dare someone to hit me "maneuver is not going to work out so well when gourd artillery is involved. Joker has to think fast, gas isn't going to work, I'm pretty sure Gobby's mask acts as a gas mask..

This is where Robbies assertion of mind games come in. I wouldn't put it past the Joker to A) Kidnap Harry, use as a human shield,

b) to replace all Gobbies pumpkin bombs with confetti bombs.

c) Rig them to go off in Osbourne's face when he tries to throw them

d) Kidnap Mary Jane Watson, to ensure that Spider-man shows up to help him deal with the problem

e) All of the above because, well...why not?

The point is that at the end of this thing it will be the Joker who gets the last multi coloured "Ha ha ha ha ha ha" on the page. And he'd rub it in too.

GOBLIN: (Broken...crawling) ...the crowd...they're LAUGHING ...at me

JOKER: Yep, they sure are. But to be fair, they can't really help it

(The crowd is laughing themselves to death on the gas that Harley Quinn is pumping into the arena)

GOBLIN: I...will...kill...you.

JOKER: Good for you. Never give up. Reminds me of someone else I know who's crazy and wears a stupid mask. Speaking of which I'm late for an appointment. Gotta run. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. I'm a big fan. Gwen Stacy? BRAVO!!! Still, I can't have you crawling after me...so NIGHTY NIGHT!

(Joker zaps him with an electric current from his cane)

JOKER: Oh Harley?

HARLEY (Over the PA) Yes Mr. J?

JOKER: Find out who "The Correctness" is I'm going to teach them a lesson about copyright infringement.

HARLEY: Sure thing puddin'!

JOKER: That's my girl.

Winner: The Joker

Decision: The Joker

Yeaaaaaaaaaah. No.

Gobby all the way.

Kurmudgeon: "I don't even think it would be a contest. Joker would wipe the floor with the Goblin."

I don't see it, Goblin is much more imposing physically and has a ton of techo weaponry besides.
The only thing that has saved the Joker from Batman is Batman's unwillingness to kill. Norman Osbourne has no such qualms and is used to tangling with super-powered adversaries.
Goblin, no contest, would take out the cackling skinny guy quickly.

^This

BlorfMaster: Green Goblin: I'll throw this pumpkin at you!

Joker: I killed everyone you loved last night. And I paid a guy in a clown suit to fark their eye sockets.

Green Goblin: ......

Yeah. Pretty much this.

Plus, the Joker would show him his boner, and how many boners he can make.

Green Goblin would get the first ever case of fatal penis envy.

Kerensky: So, is this going to be a game of who can stop laughing first and fight?

I think it would be much more entertaining to watch them first laugh maniacally at each other, then break down into fits of uncontrolled laughter at themselves, finally leaving both of them too exhausted to do anything. Then after a few minutes of catching their breath the Joker turns to the Goblin and says, "Let's go kill somebody."

The real winner: The Batman.

Does anyone have a link to the entire bracket lineup? I'd like to see what villains they've decided to go with.

/Should be a much more fun weekly read than the superhero one.

LegacyDL: The real winner: The Batman.

He won the Superhero Smackdown.

Grow. Up.

Kurmudgeon: "I don't even think it would be a contest. Joker would wipe the floor with the Goblin."

I don't see it, Goblin is much more imposing physically and has a ton of techo weaponry besides.
The only thing that has saved the Joker from Batman is Batman's unwillingness to kill. Norman Osbourne has no such qualms and is used to tangling with super-powered adversaries.
Goblin, no contest, would take out the cackling skinny guy quickly.

I see where you are coming from.

schattenteufel: VS.

Well the answer is obvious then. One's alive and one is not...

"Grow. Up."
Trust me, it's over rated...

netweavr: LegacyDL: The real winner: The Batman.

He won the Superhero Smackdown.

Who beat Wolverine? Because they better have been unbelievably badass. There are very few other heroes I could accept could beat him, aside from superman just tearing him in half or something.

He might as well be called the Pink Gobbler and shoot hot coconut cream out of a fleshy firehose.

The Wanker needs more wank-fluid!

Apparently you need to disable adblock to be able to see the page, how lame is that?

Kurmudgeon: "I don't even think it would be a contest. Joker would wipe the floor with the Goblin."

I don't see it, Goblin is much more imposing physically and has a ton of techo weaponry besides.
The only thing that has saved the Joker from Batman is Batman's unwillingness to kill. Norman Osbourne has no such qualms and is used to tangling with super-powered adversaries.
Goblin, no contest, would take out the cackling skinny guy quickly.

THIS

I love Joker stories and he's always been a lovabale maniac, but Goblin has been "evil iron man" for a long while now.

Goblin wins.

Wendy's Chili: If DC characters are so awesome, why do their comics suck?

They don't.

pd771: Anyways, you gotta go with Mr. J. The most iconic of all comic book villains.

He won't last through the bracket when it's time to battle the likes of Magneto and Thanos, of course.

WFern: Grow. Up.

No! I don't wanna! You're not the boss of me!

rickycal78: how lame is that?

I don't know. Three? What scale are we using?

HZS9PK: schattenteufel: VS.

Well the answer is obvious then. One's alive and one is not...

Exactly.

Larry Niven has them all beat with his treatise on Superman and Lois Lane: http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

Ultimate or 606 Goblin?

Ultimate Green Goblin does not fark around.

kicksmile: This is something I would go see in a movie theater. Sounds interesting.

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: I can't even picture this stupid matchup. Why would they fight?

Because one stole the other one's ______ in an attempt to _________.

Is there any other plot or motive for villians to fight?

They're fighting over who looks better in green and purple.

blazemongr: pd771: Anyways, you gotta go with Mr. J. The most iconic of all comic book villains.

He won't last through the bracket when it's time to battle the likes of Magneto and Thanos, of course.

Joker isn't anywhere close to the most powerful, but he's the most iconic. I could accept those two beating him, because they're on a different plane in terms of power.

Listen, I would want the Joker to win simply because he is a favorite villain and vastly more interesting due to lack of any real powers, but this is a problem. He has no real focus on technology, no real powers, and is psychotic enough to never end the conflict. Green Goblin, on the other hand, has a huge amount of destructive and helpful gadgets, is strong and swift and heals, and will simply kill you the first moment possible. In an arena fight, even with all of the prep time in the world, the Joker would still be within a stadium by himself for long enough for the Green Goblin to fly in and stab him.

Only way he wins is by assuming his clown pants function as a utility belt by possessing everything possibly needed to overcome any challenge, except the Joker usually loses to the Batman so he can't have everything needed.