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(Times of India)   Taliban military commanders running away   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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5732 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2001 at 1:53 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

93 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-09-27 01:55:39 PM  
How the hell are we going to attack these people?! We will obliterate them! HAW HAW HAW!
2001-09-27 01:59:06 PM  
This just makes that report of 300,000 eager Taliban troops all the more laughable.

<monty python>
</monty python>
2001-09-27 02:00:05 PM  
Lets catch them and execute thier sorry flea infested asses anyway.
2001-09-27 02:02:29 PM  
Strongest army in the world against a bunch of guys with rocks and sticks. I'd say they should televise any battles, but the fights would be too short to get any commercial sponsors...
2001-09-27 02:05:54 PM  
rocks,sticks, and oh ya.. AK-47's.
2001-09-27 02:06:29 PM  
"This picture of a Taliban soldier crapping his pants and running from an Apache helicopter is brought to you by, Charmin"
2001-09-27 02:08:17 PM  
Flashback to Desert Storm:

Fourth largest army in the world turn into fourth largest group of constipated POW's overnight.

(MRE = Constipation. Eat one, you'll understand.)
2001-09-27 02:12:12 PM  
Lets modify some of those old Desert Storm jokes to make them more current:

Q: How do you clear an Afghani bingo hall?
A: (yelled) B-52!!!!
2001-09-27 02:17:34 PM  
I'm sure bingo and humor are Talibanned.

Ain't it great to revel in your enemy's vices?

Hell, ain't it great to revel in vices, period?
2001-09-27 02:27:13 PM  
Would you guys stop being dumbasses. Oh yeah...we're just going to walk over there, and their all going to give up! These people are battle-hardened, crafty warriors. I hate to break up your locker-room banter, but please.
2001-09-27 02:27:54 PM  
2001-09-27 02:28:36 PM  
I just keep thinking of the joke they keep saying that they should all buy razors there, cause when the Taliban is gone, no one wants to have a long beard there. I think that the Taliban makes up somewhat of a minority of the population in diehard followers, but they have the power in their minority, so people put up with the status quo. Now they are threatened and people are jumping ship.
2001-09-27 02:28:53 PM  
When the light goes on, the roaches scatter.
2001-09-27 02:31:11 PM  
So do spiders...but they bite you when you're sleeping.
2001-09-27 02:35:09 PM  
What do you want us to do, Glenlivid? Cower in our boots over here over these farking turds of people?
2001-09-27 02:36:43 PM  
Confirmed? I really wish I could trust this story!
2001-09-27 02:43:10 PM  
Mierk...I don't know, man. I just think it's funny when people think of Afghanis as a bunch of pussies. All they know is war. Cower in your boots if you want; I'm ready to kick some Tallibooty myself. I just hope it's that easy.
2001-09-27 02:45:27 PM  
Mierk: That's probably what was said by the British when they were trying to keep American colonists in line.
2001-09-27 02:48:44 PM  
Mierk & Glenlivid- I don't think Tallibooty is that easily kicked. Just ask the Russians!
2001-09-27 02:48:48 PM  
why don't we just drop garbage on degrading would that step out your door and it's just raining would solve our waste issues for a while.....
2001-09-27 02:48:58 PM  
Woodytx - very true about the MRE's, but the beef stew one wasn't too bad.
2001-09-27 02:50:11 PM  
Maybe they're running away because they know Jesse Jackson's coming.
2001-09-27 02:51:18 PM  
Jesse Jackson would make me run! So would Tito!
2001-09-27 02:51:36 PM  
EvilBeef: can you read? Read what the fark I said...
2001-09-27 02:51:39 PM  
What a bunch of pantywaisted wussies we've become!!

What's wrong with being confident? Have y'all seen too many horror or war movies where the confident guys are the first to go?

Our military is very, very good at killing people and breaking things in a precision manner. Theirs is allegedly very, very good at resisting an invasion. I really don't think anyone in uniform is seriously considering an invasion right now.

Lighten up and join in the fun. If we're wrong, then we'll cry later, but I'm not going to feel guilty about it.
2001-09-27 02:51:40 PM  
I just hope we actually whack the people responsible, and not just vent our frustrations on a country that (sadly) is happy about what happened to us.
2001-09-27 02:52:09 PM  
Good news to hear that support for the Taliban is eroding in the outer provinces... probably the only reason they had support in the first place is that they had killed the opposition and they had propped up some local strongman with the promise of a cut of any money that does flow through the village. Now that there isn't any money (closed borders), the Taliban's mercenaries and opportunists are going to hunker down until this is over and they can make deals with the new ruling party.

Meanwhile, the hardcore center of Taliban is not likely to be easy to dislodge. A frontal assault by US troops, however, is probably best put off as long as possible for exactly the reason we are seeing now. Get the Taliban to fight among themselves and do our work for us. We go in to mop up and install a regime more to our liking.

If we go in to soon, we simply galvanize any remaining support there is for the Taliban. Common enemy from the outside... it would have the same effect on them as their attack on the WTC has had on us.
2001-09-27 02:52:28 PM  
Blackvampr, my personal fave was cold omelet with ham!!
2001-09-27 02:54:49 PM  
I wonder how long we can wait to actually go to war and see how much damage we do just by the impending threat of war. The longer we wait to get into war with these people the more it will sink in to everyone involved just how bloody this thing can become.

Kind of like the threat an older brother can give. The mere mention of what will happen is sometimes enough to keep any little brother in line.
2001-09-27 02:55:03 PM  
WoodyTX: the last thing we blew up over there was an aspirin factory and some tents...WooooHoooo!
2001-09-27 02:56:25 PM  
Ask the Russians who were fighting there against people supported by us? Yeah, cuz I'm sure that's an accurate comparison... shut up.

And Midgettossa... what the hell is your analogy there?

These are people who have sworn to kill our citizens... WOMEN AND CHILDREN, people!

READ THIS ARTICLE ALL THE WAY THROUGH... especially towards the bottom!

We're All Osama's
2001-09-27 02:58:21 PM  
Heh, I went on a camping trip and a Navy friend brought a box of MREs. We sat around eating them and trying to figure out whether they were actually edible. After the trip, nobody was able to take a dump for a week. Including Metamucil packets would be a good idea.
2001-09-27 03:02:02 PM  
The "Act on Instinct" MP3 from Command & Conquer just started playing as I read this- it's all too appropriate; "We are going to have to act, if we want to live in a different world..." says the media voiceover; "There is a very unstable situation on the ground that is unfolding very quickly..."
I don't mean to trivialise the issue, but watching the TV reports on the 11th was just too much like watching some Westwood cutscene (bar the hammy acting from C-grade celebrities.) The good news? The current crop of military recruits will have a damn sight more inherent military training than those in previous conflicts and theatres. So, any chance of a C&C total conversion, Coalition vs Taliban?
2001-09-27 03:05:45 PM  
Corned Beef Ass rocked my world.

The MRE, that is.

"Meal, Ready-to-Eat" - Three lies for the price of one.
2001-09-27 03:06:31 PM  
Glenlivid: All they want to do is try and kill american people. And if they are so "battle-hardened" why are they running away. spiders will bite you when your not looking but they'll run away if they see you coming. Not saying that the rest of the world or any is higher on the evolution ladder but those people in Afghan think very primatively and only see things in 2-D. Granted i've never met any of the people over there but actions speak louder then words. So let go over there blow up anything worth of value (or at least to them), kill a few people then govern what they are allowed to do in the future like whats been done to Germany and Japan. Unfortunately America is the world police. But that is because we have the means, the ever changing views to allow our society to evolve and better itself, and above all else we have the understanding that people see things differently and thats not a bad thing. We embrace it. What other country has such diversity? What other country puts up with the shiat that we do within its own country? We need to put our foot down in that sandy sh*thole and let people know that we are not gonna stand by and let you kill civilian lives like that. Sure burn American flags, yell "die america" all you want. But no acts or ingnorant cowardly terrorism will be tolorated. You wanna fight us? SAY you wanna fight us and we'll meet you there. Dont be a chicken shiat motherFer and punch us when our back is turned. Stand up and fight us with honor not terrorism, you will be treated with more respect, the respect you think you deserve.

And as for all you Anti-war farkers.
God help you that i dont see you on the street.
2001-09-27 03:08:24 PM  
Glenlivid- Relax, I was Farking agreeing with you! I do however, think we should kick some serious ass for these recent events!
2001-09-27 03:09:33 PM  
BTW. MREs kick ass Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
2001-09-27 03:13:18 PM  
Joesf33: Basically good comments, but you should remember that america is about equal rights of opinions, and commenting about (i guess) basically beating up folks who don't want a war is pretty unamerican if you really think about it.

I say if someone doesnt agree with you fine, let em, its a free country ya know, just ignore em and continue with your rant.
2001-09-27 03:14:39 PM  
You cant take a dump after MREs because you body uses almost all of the food and turns it into energy. One MRE has enough calories for an entire day. Why put food that makes you crap into a deployable soldiers ruck sack when his body doesnt need it. Live off of them for a week. and in that week when you do crap, it will be a very religious experience :)
2001-09-27 03:17:48 PM  
We're already winning a major battle. Because we now have the offensive, the monsters can no longer openly run these training camps. Their concentration will be increasingly shifted toward their own survival rather than the orchestration of terrorist acts. The monsters' communications, recruitment, training, and managing of assets have already become a lot more complicated and we have yet to unleash the fury of our military (fueled by MRE's) on them. The smarter monsters will run, but those who don't will surely be destroyed.
2001-09-27 03:23:10 PM  
its not the fact that they dont want war that makes me mad. i understand that war is never good. but how can you use diplomatic resolve with a guy who has a bomb strapped to him? and this is the same guy who killed over 6000 civilians without cause or warning. so with that i would offer VERY LITTLE diplomatic resolve before i send in the military to do my talking.
2001-09-27 03:29:38 PM  
Heh, well I think you can safely put the guy with a bomb tied to his chest in the "i want a war" category and deal with him in any extreme manner.

What i meant tho is I don't particularly want a war we're we go kill a bunch of people that may not have had anything to do with the tragedy. the biggest problem with terrorism is that its a hidden attack and you don't see them coming or going, so how do you lay the blame?

just cuz folks in a foreign country cheer our tragedy doesnt mean they are responsible, just that their pathetic wretches of human flesh.

I want the people who actually trained and financed and plotted this attack to be punished, not some random country that some cowardly Bin dude hides out in because he shares the same religion as them and they felt sorry for him, comprende vous?

2001-09-27 03:32:50 PM  
I feel no impulse to ridicule the common Afghani citizen.
I'm really pretty sure I would pop Laden in the forehead, given any chance.
(And then puke and cry and beg forgiveness from God and 'man, and all that stuff.)

Both of these things are true.
And they are also mutually exclusive.
That's life.
2001-09-27 03:33:41 PM  
Fark me, but I cannot muster up one molecule of understanding for anyone who doesn't want retribution.

I read so much about "doesn't that sort of thinking make us terrorists too?" and how "war doesn't solve anything" and "violence begets more violence" and bla bla bla, and I guess, in any other time, when you could argue this in the abstract, I could see the logic in those statements.

But now, I gotta admit, it just pisses me off no end. Like the appropriate reaction now is to sit down and have a good chat. What are you kidding? Like this is some misunderstanding we can talk through.

And that post going around about "Love Bombs" and how we should be showering them with food and supplies . . it just makes me feel like vomiting. We've been showering them with aid for years and they still want our heads on pikes.
2001-09-27 03:37:47 PM  
Is it time yet to start dropping propaganda to make them even more paranoid and scared?

Oldcrow, the garbage Idea is brilliant but Americans are very wasteful some things we throw out they might find really cool, so I'm thinking raw sewage.
2001-09-27 03:38:16 PM  
this war will not be over until there is a radical change in middle eastern lifestyles...

check out this link:

it starts:
The desire for peaceful relations between Jews and Arabs sometimes leads people to overlook public comments by Arab officials and media publications that are often incendiary and sometimes outright anti-Semitic. Frequently, more moderate tones are adopted when speaking to Western audiences, but more accurate and heartfelt views are expressed in Arabic to the speaker's constituents.....
2001-09-27 03:39:29 PM  
hey we have nukes we're trying to get rid of plus some nuclear waste too....why not a third world terrorist country...give em a nice glow so we can see em coming.
2001-09-27 03:44:46 PM  
My people are ready. My country is ready. Our children are taught to die for Allah and take as many PIG DOG HYENA Infidels with them as they can! Armed with AK-47s (blessed by Allah), many bullets (blessed by Allah), and the holy Koran (blessed by Allah), they will do whatever we tell them to do.

You PIG DOG HYENA Infidels can't even keep track of us. You cannot patrol your borders. Your security is a joke.
2001-09-27 03:44:55 PM  
how about this for if we get bid laden alive...we tie him up, brand him with "i love America" then set up mirrors so that all he sees. and do weekly bids/auctions for "who wants to kick bin laden in the balls"... could raise some money for NY.
2001-09-27 03:47:43 PM  
ah yes...raw sewage and garbage...maybe some used up rubbers too
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