Bad: He makes you drink snail mucus.
Worse: It's not snail mucus.

Whoa... I can hear colors

Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight

With a little PR giant snails could be the new diet craze.

The snail grows up to 10 inches long, can reproduce on its own and even can even eat plaster.

It even can even produce completely idiotic and irrelevant facts.

/Wemmy wham wham wazzle!!!

Escargoo.

The majority of religious rituals and gurus are bullshiat.
If they try to get him for not having a permit for the snails, he will either pull the race card or claim persecution of religious beliefs, and it will work. That is the American way.

EighthundredmillionthFarker: Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

eewwww

That could create a scene that would put Alien to shame. Your entire body covered in lumps that then give birth to hideous mutant snails.
A little garlic, a little butter...

EighthundredmillionthFarker: Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

eewwww


That wasn't snail mucus, that was snail semen! They're breeding in your stomach! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

rayearth: Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?

Came for the Zappa, and here it is.

/now where's the frunobulax?

Approves:


Obscure?

Devil's Playground: Approves:


Obscure?

I met him in New Orleans several years ago. Sexy man. Brilliant writer.

AbbeySomeone: Devil's Playground: Approves:


Obscure?

I met him in New Orleans several years ago. Sexy man. Brilliant writer.

Did you eat asparagus with him? Or, heaven forbid, go and visit The Chink? I'd love to meet him. It's not because I find him sexy ( or is it?), but I do think he is an excellent writer.

Devil's Playground: AbbeySomeone: Devil's Playground: Approves:


Obscure?

I met him in New Orleans several years ago. Sexy man. Brilliant writer.

Did you eat asparagus with him? Or, heaven forbid, go and visit The Chink? I'd love to meet him. It's not because I find him sexy ( or is it?), but I do think he is an excellent writer.

No. I was hungover and mumbled something stupid and he kissed my hand. I did think it was odd that I ran into him there but have never seen him in Seattle or even in Skagit Valley.
I've read all of his books at least once.

"Snail juice... Extra Shells."

/obscure?

Veteran of the Cola Wars: That is right up there with drinking a nice tall glass of dog slobber.
I'd imagine it'd go down in one long swallow, in one long unbreakable slurp. You'd feel it sliding down your throat, all the way down.

A man is drinking in a bar. A bunch of drunk guys start making increasingly gross bets, and finally one says to him, "I bet you won't drink the contents of that spittoon over there."

The guy says, Ok, I will. He picks up the spittoon and starts chugging it. The drunks are a little disgusted, then nauseous, then they start telling him it's fine, he can stop--he wins the bet. But he just keeps drinking until the spittoon is empty.

When he puts the spittoon down, the drunks ask him why he kept drinking when they told him that he could stop. He says, "I would have stopped sooner, but it was all in one strand."

/Can't even write that without my stomach churning.

This guy is my guru. I mean, look at that cat. And he doesn't make us drink slime, either.

Its really not that bad once you get past the taste