What's black and white and read all over?

-10 for unoriginality

-100 for me, for the same thing

Was there an old ram involved?

The print journalism of death.

Hey, Bruce, while you're up, can you grab the rolling papers?

Those aren't two giant rolls of paper!

+1 Subby, thanks for the morning giggle

I've worked in a paper mill before, those rolls are huge.

They make everyone (including IT staff) wear steel-toed boots because if one of those rolls onto your foot, bye bye foot.

In our next episode; our hero attempts the infamous Paper Bag Escape!

Time to go shoe shopping for one shoe size 298EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Print Journalism is dead maimed

well now he'll be front page news

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

One of my HS Teachers worked at a paper mill back when he was in college. It was basically a death trap.

The safety guards on the calender machine made it difficult to feed a new roll into it, so everyone disabled them. One day his buddy fed the paper in too far, and came out a red sploosh on the other side.

Also saw a guy have a copper sleeve fitting blown right through him when he disconnected a high pressure oil line without bleeding it off first.

/That is a cool story bro

Keep trying buddy, you'll get into the paper someday.

ZAZ:

I don't know enough to nitpick the numbers in the headline. How does the folding and cutting work for a typical newspaper? Cut once, fold once, for four double sided pages per sheet?

Subby most likely got it right, depending on what brand of press they were using.

/works in publishing
//getting a kick, etc.

200kg, 440 pounds. Not so heavy as far as a roll of newsprint is concerned.

Recto or verso?

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Hey, Bruce, while you're up, can you grab the rolling papers?

I hope you gotta lotta pot. It's gonna be a big reefer.

Rufus Lee King: Hi. Like beeingf on FARK. Lots if stories aboudt peepul getting hurt.

/Class Act

Hi.

???

Did they spell his name correctly?

I remember when I was very young, my dad telling us about somebody at the plant getting killed by a roll of paper being unloaded from a truck. My little mind was blown that something as light as paper could kill somebody. I had no concept of just how large industrial processes were.

Got a summer job working at the same plant when i was 16. I can sort of see why my parents wanted me to go into a while collar field of work Also got the first real backache of my life at that place. Second day on the job, the plant foreman's son was killed in a high speed single car accident. Being a small town, it had a volunteer fire department, on which a number of the crew worked at the plant. They worked the scene of the accident and didn't know who it was (this happened way before computers were ubiquitous, some clerk at the DMV had to manually dig through the VIN to find out whom the car was registered to.) A bunch of the responders found out at work the next day. The accident was so bad, there was utterly nothing recognizable about either the car or driver. Talk about a pall being cast upon a place.

There used to be many mills in our area. One year, during a particularly harsh drought, the lowered water levels failed to clear the dam on the river near my house. Along the exposed riverbed was an enormous roll of paper. We were able to cut the wet outer paper off and sliced up some massive sheets of future paper aircraft. Or so we thought. None of the planes we made flew worth a damn.

/yeah, I digressed
//quasi nostalgia trip
///the lawn, GTFO

they'll print anything these days.

I'm waiting for the arguments to start about whether or not that's the correct page order. Happened in an thread similar to this - might've even made the HOTY contest a few years back.

A 440lb roll of paper? Not massive at all. Being in the print industry for years one would know paper is heavy as hell and these rolls weren't very big.

I once saw a guy have a 5' high narrow roll tip over on his legs pinning him to the floor. Me and another guy lifted it off, the guy was shaken but not hurt. The roll weighed about 350lbs.

I don't really see why this was newsworthy, even in AU.

Want to rotate a 1,300 pound roll of newsprint? Roll it up on a 6" square of 1/8" masonite. You can turn it with one arm.

Pulled a bloody finger out of a sheetfed offset press once. . . mine.

/It's still attached but doesn't work so good. A bit of arthritis is setting in.

//Lawn and all that.

cleveralthere: they'll print anything these days.

Thats what I was looking for.

Is this the amazing industrial accidents thread?
When I was in college I had a summer job at the Conn musical instrument factory in Sweetwater, Ohio. I saw a guy get his head sucked into a trombone and have his brains blasted all over the walls of the quality-control area. It made kind of an a-flat sound, a little higher, actually but we retuned it. That's what quality control is for.

Hey, theres a sale at Pennys!

KUDOS to Subby: best title this morning for sure.

But Wait There's More:
HA HA, my medium is dyyyy-ing

/newspaper ad sales rep
//sobs uncontrollably

Hey at least you're not a reporter. They lose their jobs before you do.

1, 9, and 17? That doesn't make sense. 1 and 8, or maybe 1, 3, 6 and 8, sure.

/silly subby
//bored math nerd

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: ga362: Want to rotate a 1,300 pound roll of newsprint? Roll it up on a 6" square of 1/8" masonite. You can turn it with one arm.

Pulled a bloody finger out of a sheetfed offset press once. . . mine.

/It's still attached but doesn't work so good. A bit of arthritis is setting in.

//Lawn and all that.

I have a five-inch scar on my forearm where I caught it in the RTF, (roller to folder) a knurled gear driven roller that runs 1/16 inch from a knife edge, while webbing a press. Almost lost my thumb, years ago cleaning a unit on a hangover Monday. Pulled my thumbnail off. I immediately sat down and threw up.

/I can sympathize

Meh. Big deal, once I got a paper cut.

I work at a kraft paper mill. Had this situation occured there, this guy would be dead. The average weight of the rolls I handle is 5000 pounds.

Ahhh yes, a pagination thread!