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(CBS Miami) Florida Man fed up with his high water bill does the only logical thing: he torches his home. Fark: the bill was for $70   (cbs4.com) divider line 66
More: Florida, mobile home, flashlight, mobile home parks, Miami Herald, Fort Lauderdale, MMIX, Johnny Dossey, Herald  
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4573 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2010 at 4:04 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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johnsoninca [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 03:16:55 PM
Will he now have to pay for the water they used to put out the fire, too? Cuz if he doesn't, he won.
 
sboyle1020
2010-03-11 04:05:44 PM
Does it make it ironic that his house needed to be put out with water?
 
Teknowaffle [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:05:48 PM
Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.
 
Electriclectic
2010-03-11 04:05:57 PM
Stories like this are what the Florida tag was born for.
 
HotWingConspiracy [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:06:06 PM
Water is socialist. He did the right thing.
 
chain gun smoke
2010-03-11 04:09:03 PM
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let the mother farker burn.
 
FarkedOver
2010-03-11 04:09:15 PM
Burn that mother down!
 
hugram
2010-03-11 04:09:28 PM
He could ask the city to cancel his water services. His future water bill would be around $0.00 per month.
 
awaken101
2010-03-11 04:09:55 PM
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
 
palelizard
2010-03-11 04:09:58 PM
This is what happens when you take the Ten Commandments out of the classroom.
 
Rufus Lee King [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:10:03 PM
Water boy, water me from the lime rock branch, water I cannot drink.
 
006andahalf
2010-03-11 04:10:12 PM
Lived in SoCal for a long time and never had a water bill like that. Electricity however...
 
MrBeetle
2010-03-11 04:11:58 PM
What if his mobile home was worth less than $70? He was doing the financially smart thing then.
 
ihatedumbpeople
2010-03-11 04:11:59 PM
Tell you what...if I lived in some developing country and didn't have clean water, I'd pay way more than $70 a month to get it. Well, if I had money since I was in a developing country. you get my point.

/most water bills are based off usage
//if you don't like your bill, use less
///only time my bill tops $21 is when I top off the pool at the beginning of summer
 
BlorfMaster
2010-03-11 04:12:16 PM
Heh, it was a mobile home. Wonder what he was doing to rank in such high water charges.

For me, my water bill is also tied in with garbage services and 'sewer flow'.

As far as i can make out, there is no relationship between how much water i use and sewer flow out.
 
Sin_City_Superhero [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:14:03 PM
Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.
 
Torrentius
2010-03-11 04:14:06 PM
I love having a well.
 
boredomatwork
2010-03-11 04:16:28 PM
Add another $70 to that for a new mobile home.
 
D_Evans45
2010-03-11 04:17:45 PM
shiat $70 here for water in CA is a discount, not sure about other states. This guy deserves a good ass whuppin, the bums out panhandling up at the shopping center probably pull close to $70 in one day, if not easily 2. Hope he enjoys jail, hopefully it can knock a few ounces of sense into him. Of course knowing Florida, he'll probably just get worse.
 
Teknowaffle [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:19:18 PM
Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.

I live .25 miles from the ocean and you live in a desert. How does that make sense?
 
TXEric
2010-03-11 04:19:39 PM
I know here the water bill includes sewer and trash/recycling collection. But yeah, just use less, dumbass.

/Probably find out there was a leak somewhere...
 
Rufus Lee King [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:20:24 PM
"Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink,
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.

The very Deep did rot, O Christ,
That ever this could be,
Yea, slimy things did walk with legs,
Upon the slimy sea."
 
Inquisitive Inquisitor
2010-03-11 04:20:28 PM
Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

That's gotta suck. I have a three-bedroom apartment in Austin with a washer that runs constantly and my bill never goes about $35.
 
skinink
2010-03-11 04:22:37 PM
 
Fuggin Bizzy
2010-03-11 04:23:17 PM
sboyle1020: Does it make it ironic that his house needed to be put out with water?

It's only ironic if the water from the hoses caused the fire. On the other hand, the firefighters are just doing their job, which they're paid for, so they're not actually heroes.
 
Teknowaffle [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:27:13 PM
Inquisitive Inquisitor: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

That's gotta suck. I have a three-bedroom apartment in Austin with a washer that runs constantly and my bill never goes about $35.

Well more than half of the bill goes to sewage as well. But how do I get charged more for what goes out than comes in? I mean, I do take some large craps, but still.
 
SakuraDensetsu
2010-03-11 04:27:28 PM
Everything makes sense after this one line

Fort Lauderdale Fire-Rescue Spokesman Matt Little told CBS4 news partner The Miami Herald that Dossey drenched his own mobile home park with gasoline and lit it. A few minutes later, his home exploded.

That is why God hits them with Hurricanes more than the rest of us, if he doesn't they just immolate themselves anyways.
 
freidog
2010-03-11 04:27:31 PM
Teknowaffle: Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.

I live .25 miles from the ocean and you live in a desert. How does that make sense?

Hoover Dam is already paid for.
 
namegoeshere [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:28:23 PM
I would dance a happy dance if my water bill was $70.

Preteen girls do not know how to GET OUT OF THE FARKING SHOWER!!

/pays quarterly, btw.
 
Jobber8742
2010-03-11 04:31:46 PM
Ours is about $70 a month but that includes sewer, line repair, and garbage. I think it's a little high, but not going to burn my house down because of it.
 
tuffsnake [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:32:27 PM
Fuggin Bizzy: sboyle1020: Does it make it ironic that his house needed to be put out with water?

It's only ironic if the water from the hoses caused the fire. On the other hand, the firefighters are just doing their job, which they're paid for, so they're not actually heroes.

6/10 - you should've tried to work it into the attempt that the guy in the article is actually a hero somehow
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:34:11 PM
Even dumbassier than the guy who bulldozed his house so the bank couldn't take it.
 
Random Discord
2010-03-11 04:37:41 PM
Rufus Lee King: "Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink,
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.

The very Deep did rot, O Christ,
That ever this could be,
Yea, slimy things did walk with legs,
Upon the slimy sea."


991.com

Approves
 
borg7of9
2010-03-11 04:40:15 PM
It seems that destroying your own home is the new way of dealing with bills that you don't like. Foreclosure? No problem! Just bull doze your house. Water bill too high? That's no problem either! Just burn you trailer down. What's the solution gonna be for a car getting repo'd? I vote Carrie Underwood.
 
bambi121899
2010-03-11 04:49:53 PM
namegoeshere: Preteen girls do not know how to GET OUT OF THE FARKING SHOWER!!


Neither do husbands. I take shorter showers than my husband. I don't understand how one can stay in the shower for so damn long. Soap up, rinse off, get out.
 
scandalrag
2010-03-11 04:50:51 PM
Teknowaffle: Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.

I live .25 miles from the ocean and you live in a desert. How does that make sense?

Maybe because you pump your water the 200 miles from our desert.
 
Sin_City_Superhero [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:52:23 PM
Teknowaffle: Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.

I live .25 miles from the ocean and you live in a desert. How does that make sense?

SoCal doesn't get it's water from the ocean (salt water), but from the Colorado River. Vegas is a whole lot closer to the source. Also, I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but there's an agreement in place regulating how much water each state (Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Wyoming, Nevada, Arizona, California)can take out of the Colorado River, and California has been taking way over their allotment. That might jack up the price of the water. Just a guess.
 
jack21221 [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 04:53:10 PM
namegoeshere: I would dance a happy dance if my water bill was $70.

Preteen girls do not know how to GET OUT OF THE FARKING SHOWER!!

/pays quarterly, btw.

Get rid of the detachable, massaging showerhead, and she won't have an incentive to stay in so long!

/pedo-bear seal of approval?
 
FarkerinMN
2010-03-11 04:53:37 PM
Thats why I love living in the midwest. I have my own well which in addition to producing the best tasting water ever costs me nothing for the water other then electricity (which is about $80 a month)
 
sevenpointsixtwo
2010-03-11 04:55:16 PM
Huh. My water bill STARTS at $75; that's the price to simply provide service. Fark you Aurora, CO and your idiotic water prices. Never mind the fact that I live an easy bike ride away from a giant reservoir that, even in our dry climate, provides a seemingly endless supply of water. Hell, they have so much excess that most of it gets sent down the canyon to evaporate.
 
sboyle1020
2010-03-11 04:57:47 PM
FarkerinMN: Thats why I love living in the midwest. I have my own well which in addition to producing the best tasting water ever costs me nothing for the water other then electricity (which is about $80 a month)

Yea, but you have to live in the Midwest.
 
Fish in a Barrel
2010-03-11 04:58:55 PM
My water bill is about $30... per quarter.
 
namegoeshere [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 05:00:56 PM
bambi121899: namegoeshere: Preteen girls do not know how to GET OUT OF THE FARKING SHOWER!!


Neither do husbands. I take shorter showers than my husband. I don't understand how one can stay in the shower for so damn long. Soap up, rinse off, get out.

I know what he's doing in there...

Lulz :)
 
Jument
2010-03-11 05:01:25 PM
I doubt the "home" was worth more than $70.

Meth is a helluva drug, but in this case I imagine the poison of choice would be something more like paint thinner.
 
namegoeshere [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 05:02:07 PM
jack21221: namegoeshere: I would dance a happy dance if my water bill was $70.

Preteen girls do not know how to GET OUT OF THE FARKING SHOWER!!

/pays quarterly, btw.

Get rid of the detachable, massaging showerhead, and she won't have an incentive to stay in so long!

/pedo-bear seal of approval?

Fark you for making me laugh at that!
 
Inflatable Rhetoric
2010-03-11 05:04:11 PM
Check out Waterboy by the Don Shirley Trio on youtube.
 
Roadogs [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 05:10:06 PM
Doesn't he still owe the $70 to the water company?
 
Britney Spear's Speculum
2010-03-11 05:18:04 PM
Sounds like a true Palin American
 
Bees are livestock
2010-03-11 05:19:37 PM
I have a pool that holds 49000 gallons. I Drain it yearly for maintence. I have never had a bill over $80.00 only when I refilled it and average about $40.00/mo. Chlorine usage is a whole different story...
 
Teknowaffle [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 05:28:37 PM
Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Sin_City_Superhero: Teknowaffle: Man, I lived in a studio apartment in Ca, no washer and dryer and my water bill was about that.

I live in Las Vegas, in a house with a washer and a dishwasher, and my water bill is about $16 a month.

I live .25 miles from the ocean and you live in a desert. How does that make sense?

SoCal doesn't get it's water from the ocean (salt water), but from the Colorado River. Vegas is a whole lot closer to the source. Also, I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but there's an agreement in place regulating how much water each state (Colorado, New Mexico, Utah, Wyoming, Nevada, Arizona, California)can take out of the Colorado River, and California has been taking way over their allotment. That might jack up the price of the water. Just a guess.

I live in the part of california where we don't have to pump the water out of there. We have plenty of rivers around here.

I suppose we pay more because so much of our water goes to SoCal
 
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