hell Tiger you should have just hired O.J. to be your P.R. man.
He's as well liked as Ari.

Fark needs a "who gives a shiat" tag

Two days into working with Ari, Tiger pulls him aside and whispers into his ear, "Um, hey. When do I get to meet your wife Heidi?"

Fresh off Ari's success in educating everyone on the benefits of the BCS

If I'm not mistaken, it was Ari Fleischer who crafted Mark McGwire's steroids press conference that contained a half-assed apology and still left him hated by most people.

Has this guy been, you know, good at controlling anyone's image/message?

Makes perfect sense to me. Ari worked for George Bush when the guy was still popular, and he farked way more people than Tiger Woods ever did.

Didn't journos use to openly laugh at Ari's pathetic WH performances shortly before he got replaced?

He should be fine as long as his pants stay above his ankles.

I honestly tried to read the article, but I then clicked on the "Many Women of Tiger Woods" link in said article. What were we talking about again?

I bet Tiger invades Iran to distract everyone.

He should say "screw it". He doesn't need any more money, even if the bimbo takes half of what he has it will leave him with "only" a half of a billion dollars.

He should just go and play golf if that's what he wants to do. Ignore the haters. Companies don't want to sponser him? So what. No appearance fee? Big deal. Just play the game.

"In the hole!"

The last thing he needs is a bush aide.

Ya know, I think that's what I need..."image control".

I don't really give a shiat who Tiger Woods bangs, but good god do I hate Ari Fleischer. Asshole personified.

*

Sefton: The last thing he needs is a bush aide.

+1

Dusk-You-n-Me: I imagine Tiger is very familiar with his palm these days.

Which begs the question...why doesn't he just write his wife a fat divorce check and get on with the slut-humping like he obviously wants to do? The image is already shot, might as well live a little.

Maybe Gibbs will start on the tour. He's a bigger douchenozzle than Fleischer.

"I assume Lizzie Grubman will be his chauffer."

And John Maura/Sweeney will be his chef?

alonzinator: Two days into working with Ari, Tiger pulls him aside and whispers into his ear, "Um, hey. When do I get to meet your wife Heidi?"



Why so adulterous?

How long until he finds Jesus?

Okieboy: GET IT IN THE HOLE TIGER!!!!

/no not that one!

I always thought it spoke volumes about the utter lameness of golf as a spectator sport that that is the only cheer ever uttered at these goddawful soporifics. Have these fans not one other original thing to yell when a shot goes off?

Mind you, I have nothing against playing golf for pleasure or for money, but Carlin was right on when he said that watching it is like watching flies fark.

I think it's a brilliant move. After all, Ari's work in Washington helped preserve Dubya's legacy and is largely credited for the universal reverence, respect and admiration afforded the former president today both at home and abroad.

Mishno: He should say "screw it". He doesn't need any more money, even if the bimbo takes half of what he has it will leave him with "only" a half of a billion dollars.

He should just go and play golf if that's what he wants to do. Ignore the haters. Companies don't want to sponser him? So what. No appearance fee? Big deal. Just play the game.

This is what always gets me about formerly successful celebrities that are trying to "repair their image". Do they need appearance fees and sponsorships to maintain the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed? Do they have some compelling need to amass more money than they could ever want or need? Or do they simply have some deep-seated need to be "liked"?

Seriously - laugh at the world and it's opinions from atop your huge pile of talent and money and be done with it.

Is he really coming back? If I read it from an actual news source and not a tabloid, I'll believe it.

Barnstormer: Have these fans not one other original thing to yell when a shot goes off?

YOU DA MAN!

I also have no doubt whatsoever that by age 40 he'll have every tour record there is. Palmer, Nicklaus, Sneed will be completely pwned. I may not watch golf, but the numbers are simply undeniable.

I think I'd be looking more toward a former Clinton press secretary right about now.

Solid State Vittles: I don't really give a shiat who Tiger Woods bangs, but good god do I hate Ari Fleischer. Asshole personified

lunchinlewis: I Said: I do not understand hiring a disliked person as your PR guy

No, you don't understand the demographics of golf fans.

No, you don't understand the difference between the demographic of people who play golf and the demographic of golf fans.

When Arnie has his arm around TW ,tear in his eye, and asks the world to forgive this young mans transgresses you will. Cause Arnie is the King and his word is law.

JUST DO IT Cheetah!......then do it again & again & again....etc

When the Tiger Woods scandal first broke, I thought it was pretty well established that Tiger hadn't really done any of the stuff he was accused of, rather this was all a set up job by Jack Nicklaus to derail Tiger's career and let Nicklaus' records stand. This comeback is merely Tiger re-asserting himself to go after those records.

/Wow. typed the whole thing with a straight face!

If 50% of the population still votes republican, Ari did something right. I think he should have just gotten Bush himself.

Tiger Woods is a fine upstanding American who believes in freedom, safety from the threat of a nucular attack from Iraq and other oil rich countries, and banging average looking women. These were all principles of our foundation fathers. I mean, look at Martha Washington. She's nasty. And Lincoln walked some 5 miles to get money to pay a hooker because he wouldn't take a freebie. I, the former leader of the free world, did enough cocaine to kill a small horse. My wife killed a man. I forget the point. But Tiger is a fine upstanding role model for our kids.

So the golf season starts in two weeks?

Seems a bit late this year, guess it was all that snow.