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(Rambo, 3rd Grade Teacher) Scary The U.S. Department of Education is buying some much needed supplies: calculators, pens, paper, text books, 27 short barrelled shot guns, gym equipment, backpacks, crayons   (fbo.gov) divider line 107
More: Scary  
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10414 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2010 at 2:28 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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SphericalTime [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:28:03 PM
I was thinking maybe school police officers, but no, I suspect they would go through the local government.

I think this is just a really good way to keep kids in school. "Stay in school, or our roving attendence officers will make you permanently truant."
 
Barbigazi [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:36:32 PM
For the FEMA camps. Duh.
 
Weaver95 [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:45:21 PM
it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.
 
Mr. Coffee Nerves [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:50:48 PM
Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

If you rape someone in prison they don't call your parents.
 
Barbigazi [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:55:19 PM
Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

You sound like a Rage Against the Machine song.
 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 12:55:23 PM
A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Las Vegas with all that stuff.
 
Ol' Hokie [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 01:04:07 PM
Guns are 'banned' in Chicago, so why does the school system need them?
 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 01:24:13 PM
Ol' Hokie: Guns are 'banned' in Chicago, so why does the school system need them?

To keep all of the "disarmed" little monsters in line?

I guess you could load them up with beanbag rounds or other less than lethal rounds.
 
ne2d
2010-03-11 01:39:20 PM
SphericalTime: I was thinking maybe school police officers, but no, I suspect they would go through the local government.

The only remotely reasonable explanation I can think of is that they're for security guards at actual Dept. of Education facilities in D.C. or wherever, but even that seems a bit odd.
 
penthesilea [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 01:43:06 PM
These are for the students so that there will be no more school shootings.
 
Heineken Skywalker
2010-03-11 01:53:47 PM
When I was in middle school, in the 80's, every student went through gun safety training week. At the end of the week was a field trip to the firing range to shoot skeet.
 
UberDave [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:02:34 PM
Heineken Skywalker: When I was in middle school, in the 80's, every student went through gun safety training week. At the end of the week was a field trip to the firing range to shoot skeet.


Texas? They did that at my high school. I fell just shy the requirement for the safety course (by something like 3 days).
 
Weaver95 [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:04:50 PM
Barbigazi: Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

You sound like a Rage Against the Machine song.

don't blame me - talk with the school administrators. they're the ones turning schools into prisons.
 
Sybarite [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:12:47 PM
SphericalTime: I was thinking maybe school police officers, but no, I suspect they would go through the local government.

I think this is just a really good way to keep kids in school. "Stay in school, or our roving attendence officers will make you permanently truant."


In that case, they probably need to requisition some mirrored sunglasses as well.
 
HumbleGenius
2010-03-11 02:30:48 PM
That's crazy. Calculators? Don't kids have those built into their cellphones these days?
 
MemeSlave
2010-03-11 02:32:17 PM
Drudge Report news is so exciting !
 
Barbie Dream Hearse
2010-03-11 02:33:19 PM
Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

The former borrows much of its structure from the latter.
 
johnphantom
2010-03-11 02:34:27 PM
Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If you rape someone in prison they don't call your parents.

Somehow I know there is a reason why I have you both favorited...

/don't often have two favorites interact...
 
Ow! That was my feelings!
2010-03-11 02:34:36 PM
"the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts."

so, they are just adding these shotguns to their existing inventory...
 
spender
2010-03-11 02:34:53 PM
FTA: LOP are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

Dude, W...T...F...
 
Molavian
2010-03-11 02:35:01 PM
PacManDreaming: I guess you could load them up with beanbag rounds or other less than lethal rounds.

It's not "less than lethal" it's "less lethal." A misused beanbag round will kill your ass dead from blunt trauma.
 
HumbleGenius
2010-03-11 02:35:03 PM
MemeSlave: Drudge Report news is so exciting !

How would you know that? Unless...
 
Salmon
2010-03-11 02:35:22 PM
I didn't know Iron Maiden was touring North America!

Woooo!
 
yelmrog
2010-03-11 02:36:05 PM
Weaver95: Barbigazi: Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

You sound like a Rage Against the Machine song.

don't blame me - talk with the school administrators. they're the ones turning schools into prisons.

They've looked more and more like prisons since at least the 80's.
 
Kar98
2010-03-11 02:37:20 PM
Now what exactly was wrong with _my_ headline and submission then?

"US Dept. of Education wants to buy 27 Remington 870s, because they are compatible with existing inventory and combat training protocol. In other news, the US DoEd has a combat training protocol"

Same damn link. Even got 5 comments. Link (new window)

Seriously, modmins, you suck ass juice from the buttholes of dead hookers.
 
bongmiester [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:37:42 PM
rlahue.freedomblogging.com

this is my teaching assistant, mr BOOMSTICK!
 
The_Sponge [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:38:29 PM
Somebody should tell them that Big 5 Sporting Goods has a "Back to School Sale" every year. Too bad they didn't take advantage of that back in August.
 
radioman_
2010-03-11 02:38:37 PM
There's an agency we can shut down with no ill effects. Education is a local matter.

I went to a high school that had been the New York State shooting champions year after year. Then Bobby Kennedy was shot and they disbanded the team. Idiots.
 
The_Sponge [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:39:29 PM
bongmiester: this is my teaching assistant, mr BOOMSTICK!


*Applause*

/Own the same model.
//BTW, it's a Stoeger Coach Gun, not a Remington.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:40:35 PM
i586.photobucket.com

For all your post-apocalyptic education needs.
 
jjorsett
2010-03-11 02:41:08 PM
No surprise. Every arm of government these days likes to build its own army of storm troopers. Then they need to use them to justify their existence, which is why so many routine arrests now look like the siege of Stalingrad.
 
Molavian
2010-03-11 02:41:27 PM
Also, since when has the Department of Education been endowed with any sort of law enforcement duties?

/MONDAY NIGHT REHABILITATION!
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:41:52 PM
Kar98: Seriously, modmins, you suck ass juice from the buttholes of dead hookers.

Apparently, when you sleep with a ModMin they just want to forget the whole experience. However, when I do it...
 
trippdogg
2010-03-11 02:42:50 PM
Ol' Hokie: Guns are 'banned' in Chicago, so why does the school system need them?

To my knowledge the U.S. Department of Education isn't based in Chicago.

I would guess they want the guns for the security officers in DoE buildings. Sounds like a reasonable step given how people like to shoot up public buildings nowadays - in fact, they might want to add a request for a bazooka.
 
advex101
2010-03-11 02:44:19 PM
Most interesting/disturbing part of the solicitation?
"designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory"
 
JohnCarter
2010-03-11 02:45:39 PM
readin, ritin, and root a toot shootin....

gunholsters.com
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:46:00 PM
trippdogg: Ol' Hokie: Guns are 'banned' in Chicago, so why does the school system need them?

To my knowledge the U.S. Department of Education isn't based in Chicago.

I would guess they want the guns for the security officers in DoE buildings. Sounds like a reasonable step given how people like to shoot up public buildings nowadays - in fact, they might want to add a request for a bazooka.

Bazooka? We weren't alloed to chew gum in my school and you want to give them a whole supply of Bazooka Joe?
 
pounddawg
2010-03-11 02:47:13 PM
I_C_Weener: For all your post-apocalyptic education needs.

Sword off ?

/Fail
 
OscarTamerz
2010-03-11 02:47:38 PM
They're preparing for the day when Americans finally figure out how badly the Department of Education has ruined America's school systems. On that note I would recommend Suburban mounted Dillon miniguns like the Department of Energy uses to protect its nuclear weapons labs and transporters. (new window)
 
Voiceofreason01
2010-03-11 02:48:22 PM
bongmiester: this is my teaching assistant, mr BOOMSTICK!

Remington 870 is a pump action.

/just sayin'
 
Mishno
2010-03-11 02:49:06 PM
pounddawg: I_C_Weener: For all your post-apocalyptic education needs.

Sword off ?

/Fail

Are you making fun of the way Austrians talk?

/They have ways to make you stop that.
 
Mr Rusty Shackleford [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:49:53 PM
The ED employs several handfuls of investigators and law enforcement who most likely have one of these farkers in their trunk. What's the big deal?
 
jafiwam
2010-03-11 02:49:54 PM
Mr. Coffee Nerves: Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

If you rape someone in prison they don't call your parents.

I. Love. Fark. ;)
 
Gyro the Greek Sandwich Pirate
2010-03-11 02:50:11 PM
This was my favorite part:


...are designated as the only shotguns authorized for ED based on compatibility with ED existing shotgun inventory, certified armor and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

Want to make sure you're not going to get some kind of shotguns not approved by the Department of Education.
 
Kar98
2010-03-11 02:50:14 PM
I_C_Weener: Kar98: Seriously, modmins, you suck ass juice from the buttholes of dead hookers.

Apparently, when you sleep with a ModMin they just want to forget the whole experience. However, when I do it...

Yes, and you pay them five bucks a month for the privilege of sucking their putrid, puny dicks.
 
fifthhorseman
2010-03-11 02:50:49 PM
I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities, so how can you say I'm crazy? You're the one that's crazy!
 
pounddawg
2010-03-11 02:52:08 PM
fifthhorseman: I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities, so how can you say I'm crazy? You're the one that's crazy!

Do you want a Pepsi? Just one Pepsi.
 
AnnoyingKidNextDoor
2010-03-11 02:53:31 PM
Weaver95: Barbigazi: Weaver95: it's getting more and more difficult to tell the difference between public schools and our prison system.

You sound like a Rage Against the Machine song.

don't blame me - talk with the school administrators. they're the ones turning schools into prisons.

How are lock downs and armed security guards any different than corporal punishment?
 
The_Sponge [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 02:53:37 PM
pounddawg: I_C_Weener: For all your post-apocalyptic education needs.

Sword off ?

/Fail


Palallel Barrel?

/Double fail.
 
Hot Carl To Go
2010-03-11 02:53:39 PM
Perhaps they could requisition something a little more accurate.

The spread on a short barreled shotgun, even with a choke, is not a desirable thing to have in a crowded classroom. How about a taser? Seriously.
 
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