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(AL.com) Followup In case you were wondering, shooting six of your co-workers is cause for termination   (blog.al.com) divider line 101
More: Followup, UAH, white woman, Huntsville, attempted murder, garner  
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8093 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2010 at 1:05 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



101 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-11 10:38:28 AM
How did this not get the obvious tag? About the only careers where you would not lose your job automatically over killing six coworkers are the military and the police.
 
2010-03-11 10:44:04 AM
Show me where in the employee handbook it says that killing coworkers is a fireable offense.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2010-03-11 10:45:34 AM
In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.
 
2010-03-11 10:47:28 AM
I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this one, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon...
 
2010-03-11 10:52:55 AM
greentea1985: How did this not get the obvious tag?

I bet she wouldn't have been terminated right away if she had tenure (of course then there probably wouldn't have been a shooting, but I digress).
 
2010-03-11 11:04:58 AM
"Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorence on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... "
 
2010-03-11 11:05:48 AM
damageddude: greentea1985: How did this not get the obvious tag?

I bet she wouldn't have been terminated right away if she had tenure (of course then there probably wouldn't have been a shooting, but I digress).


There was a murder investigation involving another prof a few years back. He was actually arrested at one point, but he just went on a sabbatical officially. Which was a good thing, because he ended up being innocent and he is one of the leading people in the world in laser propulsion.
 
2010-03-11 11:10:01 AM
How about five?
 
2010-03-11 11:10:47 AM
R.A.Danny: Show me where in the employee handbook it says that killing coworkers is a fireable offense.

Job abandonment is covered, though, and it's tough to show up for work if you're in jail.
 
2010-03-11 11:17:13 AM
jbc: In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.

Murder has always been frowned upon. Don't let that stop you from making an idiotic point though.
 
2010-03-11 11:19:42 AM
jbc: In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.

How about you find me one single person anywhere on Al Gore's Tubes of Internets making an argument resembling that nonsense.
 
2010-03-11 11:25:03 AM
jbuist: jbc: In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.

How about you find me one single person anywhere on Al Gore's Tubes of Internets making an argument resembling that nonsense.


Oh please, if there's a second Amendment point to be made, no matter how stupid, I can find a Fark Independent supporting it.
 
2010-03-11 11:31:08 AM
Listen. We have to have a little talk. I don't know how they did things over at the university you came from, but here, we cannot just go around shooting coworkers. No, not even students. Yes, I know the little pricks deserve it sometimes, but you would not believe how upset the parents get. God, and the paperwork.

Now, I might understand blowing off a little steam by firing a few warning shots. Hell, I've hit a few of the faculty in the face with my paperweight. We've all been there. I know the frustrations of this job. But like I said, you cannot shoot at your colleagues. I mean, poor Danvers got it in the face like six times. Was that necessary?

This just isn't going to work out. I know, it's tough out there right now, but you've made yourself a liability and not an asset. I'm going to have to let you go.

What? Yes, I'll get you a letter of recommendation. Pick it up from my secretary next week. And try not to shoot her.
 
2010-03-11 11:35:46 AM
jbuist: How about you find me one single person anywhere on Al Gore's Tubes of Internets making an argument resembling that nonsense.

This thread has officially been Gore'd.
 
2010-03-11 12:46:42 PM
labman: R.A.Danny: Show me where in the employee handbook it says that killing coworkers is a fireable offense.

Job abandonment is covered, though, and it's tough to show up for work if you're in jail.


You can make one phone call, tell your boss you're sick.
 
2010-03-11 01:07:43 PM
I heard one of them is supposed to have herpes

/only way to be sure
 
2010-03-11 01:08:05 PM
Sybarite: How about five?

Came here to say this.
 
2010-03-11 01:08:31 PM
ABW: You wrote that as if you've been in such a conversation before. Which side huh? Are you the shooter, or the one doing the firing (lol, I made a funnay...."the shooter", or "the one doing the firing")
 
2010-03-11 01:08:34 PM
Ok why exactly is shooting six co-workers a reason to be fired? If you ask me, that just sounds like a convenient excuse to fire someone.
 
2010-03-11 01:08:54 PM
How about off-hours, on our own time? We put in a lot of time at work. We have a right to our own lives in the evening and on weekends.
 
2010-03-11 01:09:22 PM
GAT_00: Oh please, if there's a second Amendment point to be made, no matter how stupid, I can find a Fark Independent Farker supporting it.


FTFY
 
2010-03-11 01:09:45 PM
sweetmelissa31: jbuist: How about you find me one single person anywhere on Al Gore's Tubes of Internets making an argument resembling that nonsense.

This thread has officially been Gore'd.


Approves:

i25.tinypic.com
 
2010-03-11 01:09:47 PM
As a unionized civil servant, I might get away with one or two co-workers, but six would be pushing it. One or two, they move your desk behind a post for a few years 'til it blows over. And you can't eat in the lunchroom anymore.
 
2010-03-11 01:12:22 PM
Well if that's the case then I'm not sorry.
 
2010-03-11 01:13:15 PM
I just re-read my entire employee handbook, and nowhere in it does it say that I am prohibited from shooting my co-workers. And if they don't want me to shoot my co-workers, it should state that clearly in the handbook. If I get fired for shooting co-workers, I'm so going to sue for wrongful termination.
 
2010-03-11 01:13:49 PM
Well, I gotta tell you, I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that is dangerous...
And this button-down oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, & then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers. This might be someone you've known for years someone very very close to you.
 
2010-03-11 01:13:54 PM
jbc: In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.

except, per James Anderson, the husband:

Bishop was a far-left political extremist who was "obsessed" with President Obama to the point of being off-putting
 
2010-03-11 01:14:14 PM
Dick, You're Fired!
www.movieprop.com
 
2010-03-11 01:14:17 PM
Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!" How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don't say "I forgot"? Let's say you're on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, "I forgot armed robbery was illegal."


/A Novel and Efficient Synthesis of Cadaverine
//Did it cause Amy Bishop or merely predict her?
 
2010-03-11 01:14:58 PM
GAT_00: Oh please, if there's a second Amendment point to be made, no matter how stupid, I can find a Fark Independent supporting it.

Let's see it then. Put up or shut up.
 
2010-03-11 01:15:20 PM
must notta been in the union . . . .
 
2010-03-11 01:15:24 PM
But I thought that she said they weren't dead?? If they're not dead then they're no cause for termination, right?
 
2010-03-11 01:16:26 PM
img169.imageshack.usmedia.al.com
 
2010-03-11 01:16:35 PM
Hers was the fourth termination.
 
2010-03-11 01:16:37 PM
There's a way to get around almost everything.

Like, I can't wear jeans to work.
/so i don't wear pants.
 
2010-03-11 01:16:49 PM
NeoAnderthal: jbc: In before the Fark Independents™ show up to claim it's just another liberal institution trying to take away someone's Second Amendment rights.

Murder has always been frowned upon. Don't let that stop you from making an idiotic point though.


I was going to make the same JOKE as NeoAnderthal.
 
2010-03-11 01:17:06 PM
R.A.Danny: Show me where in the employee handbook it says that killing coworkers is a fireable offense.

http://www.uah.edu/admin/HR/policies/Staff%20HandBook.pdf

pg 89 - Firearms and Other Weapons
"Firearms or other weapons (including explosives) are not to be kept or brought onto University property by anyone... Faculty or staff personnel who violate this regulations are subject to adverse employment action, including dismissal"
 
2010-03-11 01:17:17 PM
But I can still get two weeks' severance, right?
 
2010-03-11 01:17:28 PM
Even if they kept saying stupid shiat like "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays."?
 
2010-03-11 01:17:33 PM
"I'm no fool. I've killed the boss, you think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that?"

Lili Tomblin as Violet, Nine to Five. (new window)
 
2010-03-11 01:19:27 PM
Sybarite: How about five?

Five's okay, but six, well, that's over the line.
 
2010-03-11 01:19:56 PM
media.al.com

Ol gloomy Gus is gloomy.

FTFA: A one-paragraph letter dated Feb. 26 was mailed to Bishop informing her the university had terminated her employment ...

Great, now you've made her mad.

Dear Professor Crazy Pants,

We are distressed at your behavior at the last faculty meeting. We cannot accept the outright murder of other staff. If this happens again, please be advised there will be stern repercussions. A strongly worded letter will be placed in your permanent file. We look forward to seeing you at our faculty mixer next week.

Regards,

A Flock of Pussies
 
2010-03-11 01:20:07 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu...

that.was.high-larry-us! thank you
 
2010-03-11 01:20:55 PM
...but does she still get a share of the lottery ticket?
 
2010-03-11 01:21:12 PM
Poppyale: There's a way to get around almost everything.

Like, I can't wear jeans to work.
/so i don't wear pants.


*perks up*
How you doin?
 
2010-03-11 01:21:16 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu, that was one of the creepiest commercials ever.
 
2010-03-11 01:21:36 PM
I wonder if she'll apply for unemployment benefits...
 
2010-03-11 01:24:36 PM
msp196.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-11 01:25:59 PM
spottymax: R.A.Danny: Show me where in the employee handbook it says that killing coworkers is a fireable offense.

http://www.uah.edu/admin/HR/policies/Staff%20HandBook.pdf

pg 89 - Firearms and Other Weapons
"Firearms or other weapons (including explosives) are not to be kept or brought onto University property by anyone... Faculty or staff personnel who violate this regulations are subject to adverse employment action, including dismissal"


So, that just leaves choking them or slipping poison into their lunch... It's good to know the rules when personnel appraisals are coming up.
 
2010-03-11 01:26:06 PM
Damn. I didn't know Emo Phillips had styled his hair that way.
 
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