Was he watching the priest?

/drtfa

His Excellency, the Rev. Pedo Bear?

Were the videos on loan from the Vatican?

Ponzholio: Six. Six hail Mary's subby...

Hail Mary, full of [CENSORED]

What the article doesn't say is where he got the movies. I assume it was from the rummage sale or the pastors private stash.

sodomy?

the lunatic fringe: His Excellency, the Rev. Pedo Bear?

Finally someone puts a church to good use.

shijjiri: hotlink fail.

/so sorry

Well, at least he was praising God at the right place.

I bet the church was nun too happy.

Well, that should be the right place to hear "oh God! oh God! oh God!"

oh you funny farkers. I'm happy knowing I won't be going to hell all by myself.

the lunatic fringe: oh you funny farkers. I'm happy knowing I won't be going to hell all by myself.

^This.

/Window seat, I want to be able to see hell as we arrive.

Hailing mary may be just what he was doing.

A thousand! Yeah, heh heh hmm. And I want you to hit yourself. Right now!

/Harder! Heh heh.
//Again! Heh heh.
///You need to straighten up!

"Please be a Southern Baptist church! Please be a Southern Baptist church!"

(checks article)

Damn.

I was going to say he could ask forgiveness from a priest who is buggering an alter boy or another priest but he broke into First Christian Church. Now, if it's a Disciple of Christ church, he can have communion on any Sunday he attends and ask for forgiveness. I know someone who went to the Disciple of Christ church and they are communion crazy.

He only went there because the best porn sites were already bookmarked.

BunkoSquad: I feel bad for the next person who had to sit in his pew.

Pew. Pew. Pew.

So anyway, Jesus was telling a crowd "He who is without sin may cast the first stone." At that, a baseball sized stone comes zipping out of the crowd and nearly hits Jesus in the head.

At that moment, Jesus looks up to see who threw it and yells "MOM! I really meant it!"

Apparently the evidence is wafer-thin, even though it sounds damning.

Police admit the charges are still untransubstantiated.

I'll just leave this here.



/hot like brimstone

Back in high school we would, err, I mean I knew kids, or better yet, I knew of kids, or even better, I heard of kids who knew kids who would steal those unmanned collection boxes that are usually bolted to the wall near exits of churches. I heard from a friend who heard from a friend that there was quite a bit of loot in those things. I also heard the same kids would steal newspaper boxes back when people still bought newspapers, and with a lot of effort they would hack off the lock to get to the treasure.

*the above stories are a work of fiction. Any resemblance to events and persons in other medians or real life are completely coincidental and unintended.

Well at least he didn't get caught doing anything that would be embarassing.

Hail Mary Carey

He was charged for impersonating a minister.

What's the sound of one hand praying?

fap, fap, fap

ejwsod36: BunkoSquad: I feel bad for the next person who had to sit in his pew.

Pew. Pew. Pew.

A four roper, then?

HumbleGenius: He was charged for impersonating a minister.

No more calls folks we have a winner

Probably more "Oh God"s that "Hail Mary"s

ms_lara_croft: He must have been watching kiddie porn because that's all you can get in a church.

And the stars look strikingly like the altar boys.

The Chaplain's assistant in my old army unit broke into the Mosque on base and had sex with his girlfriend on a prayer rug. He would have gotten away with it too, if they hadn't fallen asleep, and been found by worshippers coming in for morning prayer.

rabidarmadillo24: The Chaplain's assistant in my old army unit broke into the Mosque on base and had sex with his girlfriend on a prayer rug. He would have gotten away with it too, if they hadn't fallen asleep, and been found by worshippers coming in for morning prayer.

I would like to buy his beheaded corpse a beer, sir.

The guy was caught walking out with a car load of stuff he stole, yet 3 times they had to mention the watching porn part because that's what they think you should be most concerned about.

Forget about this guy on the loose breaking into stuff, possibly linked to other robberies in the area - he was watching PORN that involves the CHURCH.

I'm sorry... HOW many Hail Marys?

thelordofcheese: A thousand! Yeah, heh heh hmm. And I want you to hit yourself. Right now!

Uhh, okay.... *smack* ow...

/Harder! Heh heh.

/*SMACK* Ow!

//Again! Heh heh.

//*SMACK* OWWW! *whimper*

///You need to straighten up!

I read Fark for comments like these.

I would love to film a porno in a church.

And, I want to use OniNeko's post as a script.

Wanted to go to hell and didn't want to stand in no line.

/Eddie Murphy shaped my early teens

"Say five Hail Mary's and six Hello Dolly's."

The confessional has a glory-hole instead of a screen.

That priest is gunna be pissed when he finds naked pictures of women instead of men.