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(Fox News)   North Korean negotiators use odd tactics to keep nukes, including sawing legs off chairs and threatening to nuke Palo Alto   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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15822 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2003 at 10:42 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

178 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-24 06:25:30 PM  
Yikes! Time for this Farker to move inland!
2003-04-24 06:38:54 PM  
Read close, GrandmasterZom

That quote was from four years ago. The reason they threatened Palo Alto is that the Secretary of Defense at the time, William Perry, lived there.

I think Rumsfeld is from Chicago, and attended Princeton.

However, I am going to use the "We're probably going to blow up any minute, so we should have sex" pick-up line with random hotties in Palo Alto tonight.
2003-04-24 06:52:44 PM  
There is a lot of interesting and weird history of dealings with the North Koreans. At Panmunjon, they waited until we finished our building before building their's, exactly one meter taller and longer. They served tea at negotiations, and the US didn't realize that they lost face every time they took a bathroom break. We turned that around when our negotiators started using pilot's pee bags, and could drink tea all day long.

The whole peace process in Korea was reduced to stupid mind games and petty little meaningless victories.
2003-04-24 06:58:29 PM  
And before you say North Korea is being immature, I have two words for you:

Freedom fries
2003-04-24 07:12:58 PM  
I didn't think much of the fact that our screen names changed from red to black recently, but after reading that article I think Drew might be up to something...

/suspiciously eyes Drew
2003-04-24 07:21:56 PM  
hello, and welcome to today's threadjack. i'd like you to take just a moment to think about someone very special to you. a lover, a child, a sibling, a parent, a friend, maybe someone you just met. someone who, in a tiny or an incalculably large way, has positively affected the sum of your life. think about who you are because of that person and who you wouldn't be without them. if you can, right now, go to them and just look into their eyes. if not, just picture them. the light of blue sky, warm incandescence or shrill flourescence reflected in their
iris' dew. that spark of what we men call humanity. think about what they think of you when they look back into your eyes and into your life and know that you are loved.

"and the blood burned within him, and it ripped forth and spat upon the ground and scorched it as it should have always been and as it always would be forevermore."

ok now go back to whatever the fark this thread is supposed to be about. fark me and fark everything to fark and back six times over.
2003-04-24 07:31:14 PM  
This negotiation crap is tedious. Damn, I miss the war.
2003-04-24 09:06:09 PM  
How can anyone really think that such pointless "victories" mean anything? Oh no! Their building is taller than ours, we might as well cave into their demands. And what the hell is the point in shortening the chairs? Are our diplomats supposed to be intimidated by the fact that when standing they're taller than the Koreans but when sitting they're shorter?
2003-04-24 09:06:39 PM  
North Korea doesn't seem to realize that Bush is as stubborn as they come. He isn't going to cave.
2003-04-24 09:11:08 PM  
I also don't see Bush as being up for much of this mind games stuff.
2003-04-24 09:18:37 PM  
when dealing with NK, its really more important to figure out how the chinese are going to react. if we can get them to agree to look the other way, we can just whack Kim, "neutralize" the nuke plants, and let the ROKs take over. Do it real quiet like. of course, we'll probably have to sell our souls on concessions over taiwan and troop basing in Korea post re-unification, but i think itd be worth it.
2003-04-24 09:41:08 PM  
Someone has been reading Tony Robbins.
2003-04-24 10:45:07 PM  
Sheesh I live in Palo Alto!
2003-04-24 10:45:43 PM  
Bring it on Lil Kim.

Oh wait a minute. I live 10 miles from Palo Alto.

2003-04-24 10:45:49 PM  
FoxNews? They still exist? hehe

Sounds like fun. I want to bargin for the North Koreans.
2003-04-24 10:45:52 PM  
QUICK! Everyone to Montana with the libers...
2003-04-24 10:47:47 PM  
So Kartman was our special envoy to North Korea? No wonder things are still farked up.

Seriously, you guys! Get me out of heyaanh! Ay! Ay! AAAAAYYYY!!!!! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home!
2003-04-24 10:47:50 PM  
palo alto is a city full of assholes, i must say.
2003-04-24 10:49:22 PM  
They're going to have to saw the legs completely off the chairs before they become taller than anyone else at that table. Plus, when it comes to uncomfortable diplomatic moments, we have them beat hands down. Our leader can vomit on demand.
2003-04-24 10:49:34 PM  
We don't even have to do that. As NK gets more rabid, China will step up to slap it's ass down. All we have to do is keep the pressure at the current level and wait the NK out. Do you really think the Chinese want the U.S. military in their sphere of influence? China wants us, the U.S. as trading partners and their new preferred partner trading status.
2003-04-24 10:50:04 PM  
if the united states is still technically at war with north korea, wouldn't it be legal for them to just assasinate kim jong il?
2003-04-24 10:50:34 PM  
Bottom line: who has Korea ever blasted into oblivion? versus...
2003-04-24 10:51:27 PM  
MsPentyuth: each other.
2003-04-24 10:51:29 PM  
The North Koreans are tough talkers, too.

The North Korean said if the United States didn't agree with North Korean demands, "he would bring a sea of fire to Palo Alto, Calif.," said Sherman. She also went with former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright on her groundbreaking trip to North Korea in 2000.

Too bad they don't back their talk up. Ah well, their shenanegans must add excitement to an otherwise boring negotiating(sp) sesson.
2003-04-24 10:51:53 PM  
We should test a few MOABs before the talks. And at least one over the Sea of Japan, just to collect data from an over-water burst. Inviting them to observe would be neighborly, as well.
2003-04-24 10:52:23 PM  

I am 1001% off topic here but...

President Bush has taken a hardline approach to North Korea, calling it part of an "axis of evil" with Iran and prewar Iraq. The North Koreans are tough talkers, too.

Who the hell is Bush to decide what is good and evil? I mean, if the N Koreans have demons flying out of a hole in the ground then yeah, I can understand calling them evil. But... "They are the axis of evil" Well, shiat, prez. Bush! Why not take it down to the most simplistic moronic one dimentional level you can, huh? Is this some great and wonderful thing your puppeteers came up with, or was this something that should reflect how farked up you are?


BTW, for the first person to try to call me anti-American -- I wouldn't hate Bush's guts if I didn't love America so much. America is wonderful. The government on the other hand....

Axis of Evil my fat ass.
2003-04-24 10:52:43 PM  
"if the united states is still technically at war with north korea, wouldn't it be legal for them to just assasinate kim jong il?"

did they ever recind that presidential order that you can't assasinate leaders of other nations?

I know they were talking about it, but I never heard what came of it.
2003-04-24 10:52:52 PM  
Palo Alto? I must be missing something. Why nuke a city in a state that's just going to sink into the ocean when the icecaps melt?
2003-04-24 10:53:07 PM  
What do they honestly think they will get out of all of this, besides a dozen Chinese ballistic missiles up their ass?
2003-04-24 10:54:09 PM  
Wldncrzy14, I was thinking about something stupid to say to degrate N. Korea, but damn, that's a good point.
2003-04-24 10:54:11 PM  
Tactics also include 4-inch lifts in one's shoes, so I hear. And the constant playing of Daffy Duck in the background is certainly unsettling. I say we give up right away and let NK have whatever they want.
2003-04-24 10:56:11 PM  
Oh yes, NK has such a good delivery system.

"What the North Korean People's Navy test fired into the Sea of Japan on February 24, March 10, and April 1 appears to have been the HY-2 Seersucker, a large, bulky anti-ship cruise missile lineally descended from the Soviet Union's P-15 Styx anti-ship cruise missile, developed after World War II. The HY-2 is a Chinese derivative of the Styx; the program began in the mid-1960s and was initially declared operational in 1970. China has exported the HY-2 widely, including to North Korea and Iraq. It is uncertain, however, whether North Korea has received more advanced versions of the HY-2. Depending on the variant, more advanced models include an infrared seeker, radio altimeter, TV guidance, and improved active radar guidance. The HY-2 has a liquid- propellant engine that attains a velocity of Mach .9 (nearly the speed of sound), while propelling the missile to a range of 95 kilometers. Its launch weight is nearly 3,000 kilograms (including a warhead weighing just over 500 kilograms), while its airframe is 7.36 meters long, .76 meters wide, with a wingspan of 2.4 meters--all of which merit the description, large and bulky."
2003-04-24 10:56:18 PM  
The CIA has a plan they used before to assasinate world leaders that they want to use on Kim Jong-il. Only problem is they can't him to go to Dallas.
2003-04-24 10:58:07 PM  
Shut........UP: did they ever recind that presidential order that you can't assasinate leaders of other nations?

I dunno, but when the did the "decapitation strike", they argued that since they were in fact in war with Iraq, it didn't matter.
2003-04-24 10:58:18 PM  
2003-04-24 10:58:20 PM  
I know it's illegal to assasinate world leaders in a time of peace, but if you're at war with them, it's legal, right? that's why they tried the decapitation attacks on saddam
2003-04-24 10:59:14 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks we should just let them blow up Palo Alto as a show of good will? Come on folks, let's not miss out on a perfectly good chance to nuke Stanford. Arrogant bastards...
2003-04-24 11:00:21 PM  
It wasn't just the fact that we were at war with Iraq that justified targeting Saddam Hussein. It's the fact that we were at war with Iraq and Saddam Hussein is the head of the Iraqi military.
2003-04-24 11:01:21 PM  

thats where the "at war" technicality would come in. If we're at war a leader is a military, not a political target. and thus it would not be an assasination.

Althought that executive order was a feel good formality anyway, all GWB would have to do is draft a new executive order saying that assasinations are Okay again and its open season on 3rd world dictators. Yay!
2003-04-24 11:01:37 PM  
Will somebody please give Kim a liquor store in LA, so we can forget about Korea.
2003-04-24 11:03:14 PM  
If NK agrees to hit San Diego too, I'll second that Mwolhowe My ex-wife lives there.
2003-04-24 11:05:05 PM  
This is awesome. I hope they do other random stuff like peeing or maybe surfing for porn during the negotiations.
2003-04-24 11:05:39 PM  
Hey, I'll go for that. Especially if they put the blast center in La Jolla.
2003-04-24 11:07:24 PM  
i wonder how all the korean leadership folk felt when, after they all got their giggles by looking tall over people in short chairs, everyone stood up and was taller than them.

and i bet they have small penises too. so small.
2003-04-24 11:10:48 PM  
As it goes with Dictatorships... Saddam is the commanding general of his Army.. therefor it's okay to kill the general.

Now if we were to invade France... we'll we can't kill of chirac cause he's no general. Ahhh well... i'm sure they'd surrender before the bombs got close enough. ;D
2003-04-24 11:11:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]

Coincidence???? I think not!

/George is getting upset!
2003-04-24 11:13:53 PM  
I really really hate North Korea (the government). Kim Jong Il should die.
2003-04-24 11:13:58 PM  
See the big gap? NK will try for SK or Japan. Pigs would grow wings, fly, and fart "Yankee Doodle" before what NK has could hit California.
2003-04-24 11:14:22 PM  
I want more wacky NK negotiation hijinks. We could do a reality show.
2003-04-24 11:14:28 PM  
There is historical precedent for assassinating military leaders. And usually the head of gov't is in charge of the military (Bush = Commander in Chief).
WWII - Pacific Theater: Codebreakers for the U.S. found out that the dude who planned the Pearl Harbor attacks, Yamamoto, was going to some random island in the Pacific. Sent a big ol' wing to shoot his plane down and got him. According to White House sources this was the first time the U.S. gov't ever sanctioned an assassination of a foreign official. (FDR signed the order but the paperwork "disappeared")
/history channel junkie
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