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(ESPN) NewsFlash Lebron says he will attend Duke. Ha ha just kidding he's going pro. Duke sucks   ( divider line
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8220 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Apr 2003 at 5:00 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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86 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-24 05:02:49 PM  
maybe duke can recruit tariq aziz
2003-04-24 05:02:55 PM  
WHO CARES!! Not a news flash.
2003-04-24 05:03:25 PM  
third post!
2003-04-24 05:03:26 PM  
News Flash is for stuff that has just happened, important or not
2003-04-24 05:03:37 PM  
Whew. Got scared there for a minute. Cleveland Cavs suck.
2003-04-24 05:03:49 PM  
Newsflash? WTF, basketball sucks as$.
2003-04-24 05:04:35 PM  
Great headline. My eyebrows actually raised when I read the first sentence. I was dreaming of hearing stories about his Hummer "thumpin" around the Duke campus.
2003-04-24 05:04:44 PM  
Duke may suck, but Wilco certainly didn't suck last night at Duke!
2003-04-24 05:04:50 PM  
big deal...the next kwame brown
2003-04-24 05:04:54 PM  
I agree with Trapezoid. This is not a news flash of any sort.

(Hey, everybody, look at me! I just defied Drew right here in public. I think my chest just grew more hair!)
2003-04-24 05:04:54 PM  
Sports in general is moronic. I have nothing against someone who wants to go out and play, but people who sit on their asses and count statistics all day and turn it into faux-politics get on my nerves.
2003-04-24 05:05:03 PM  
2003-04-24 05:06:01 PM  
Why does all this basketball crap keep getting a newsflash? I mean, is it really that farking important?
2003-04-24 05:06:16 PM  
"Nubian, PLEASE !!!
2003-04-24 05:06:57 PM  
I hope, for the Raps' sake, we get him. Lebron - Lenny = my floor seats are worth it again!
2003-04-24 05:08:13 PM  
*Also wondering @ news flash-worthiness*

Would he even be eligible to play college ball after the scandals he's been in? Methinks LeBron's amateur status has gone the way of Madonna's virginity.
2003-04-24 05:08:44 PM  
Like is anyone even remotely surprised or even care? Just another spoiled pampered multi million dollar athlete.....
2003-04-24 05:09:22 PM  
Great headline. Too bad he'll be skipping college, but on the other hand, the risks are too big... One bad injury, and that $20 million contract would sail right out the window.
2003-04-24 05:09:25 PM  
the pennsylvania school shootings don't get a news flash, but this does?
2003-04-24 05:11:18 PM  
Call this (1-508-641-1908) for total hilarity. In order to provide hilarity, say something absurd (or strike up a conversation), and wait for a response. Then, post your response here so we can share in the laughter.
2003-04-24 05:11:22 PM  
Basketball is important. College basketball at least. It's been newsflash-y for years.
2003-04-24 05:11:57 PM  
too bad he's going to get drafted by a shiatty team.
2003-04-24 05:12:21 PM  
"Sports in general is moronic. I have nothing against someone who wants to go out and play, but people who sit on their asses and count statistics all day and turn it into faux-politics get on my nerves."

Dude, don't get your black turtleneck all in a wad. Turn down the Jewel, put down your Latte and Emily Dickinson poetry and think about it for a min. Some of us enjoy the sports and the stats. Life does not always have to be about serious things. Sports to me is like movies with French subtitles are to you.
2003-04-24 05:12:44 PM  
Why should this loser go to college he would just be taking up space for a real student who wants to learn! Lebron will be a wash out anyway and in jail by 28...
2003-04-24 05:15:24 PM  
This is what he'll be getting:
year 1 - $3,349,100
2 - $3,600,300
3 - $3,851,500
4 (opt-out) - 26.1% increase over year 3
5 (qualifying offer) - 30.0% increase over year 4

But the REAL money is in the endorsements, baby!
2003-04-24 05:15:44 PM  
Stubblyhead Boy you just never know that. It could be the Nuggets or the Cavs and win 25 games next year, but if he is as good as advertised he could make the Knicks, or the Warriors, or the Rockets, or even the Clippers playoff teams immediately.
2003-04-24 05:16:11 PM  
Is it just me or does that Lebron Dude look like he is 30! The guys looks like he is getting ready for some grandkids. Either he has been smoking some serious cigs (cigs make your face age) or he was seriously held back as a youngster... like maybe 10 years!

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-24 05:17:36 PM  
It's been fun watching all the Knicks fans hope for a crappy finish so they could have a better shot at getting James.

PS: Nice headline
2003-04-24 05:17:49 PM  
Goddamn, that was really farking funny headline. Very flippant.
2003-04-24 05:18:23 PM  
Great a stupid kid becomes a stupid jock. With his start he is destine to become the next Tyson or OJ. I give him 5 years...
2003-04-24 05:18:27 PM  
Technically, he's making the announcement tomorrow, but let's be real.
2003-04-24 05:18:36 PM  
Cute headline, except that he'd be ineligible for one year for playing in more than two prep all-star games. Oh yeah, in four years, Lebron will be good, but I don't know if he'll be better than T-Mac. I don't know if anyone is as fun to watch and scores as effortlessly as T-Mac and he's got zero help.
2003-04-24 05:18:45 PM  
That headline is DAMN FUNNY!

Props to submitter.
2003-04-24 05:18:49 PM  
The Cavs spent all year losing so they could get him...
2003-04-24 05:19:06 PM  
Duke sucks and their girls are ugly go UNC!
2003-04-24 05:23:07 PM  
I dont even follow football, but the headline was funny as hell.
2003-04-24 05:23:23 PM  
i think it's been fun hoping the knicks have a crappy finish because they suck and I hate htem.
2003-04-24 05:27:00 PM  
BamaTide: You've got me all wrong. I hate serious things. Subtitles suck. I just wish people would stop pretending that watching sports is important. Playing sports, or just running around like a maniac and getting excersize is more fun than watching other people play and keeping all the stats logged and such garbage.
2003-04-24 05:28:41 PM  
2003-04-24 05:31:40 PM  
Trap's right, BamaTide. The people who are into sports are VERY serious about it. It's not a hobby for them, it's their life and they'll gladly push it on anyone who gets in their way.

I had a friend who kept little notecards with custom stats for all of his players on Sega NHL Hockey for crissakes. He was VERY serious about his stats. He got very angry with me when I just grabbed one of those cards. He planned his whole life around sports. It was sick and sad.

He managed to graduate from Cal Berkeley in four years with honors and went to work for ESPN, so I guess it paid off, though. Oh, and he's never had a date in his life. Ever.

He did, however, have one of the most extensive porn collections I have ever seen.
2003-04-24 05:32:54 PM  
Trapezoid: A lot of us play AND enjoy watching. It's not just fat guys eating Doritos. But whatever, you say tomato, I say...
2003-04-24 05:34:14 PM  
JerseyTim--is he really ineligible for a year? that's a new one to me. I agree though that it's probably going to take him a few seasons to find his pro game. I was watching I think PTI a while ago, and they were saying that even when a kid is good enough to go into the nba right out of high school, they almost invariably take about three years to have a major impact in the league, the same as would take if they went to college for those years and improved their game a little more to be really good in the pros their rookie year. but like someone said earlier, those years in college are a risk since if you get seriously injured, you're probably farked.
2003-04-24 05:38:14 PM  
Stubbly - he's ineligible for a year in college hoops, not the NBA.
2003-04-24 05:38:22 PM  
It has already been reported that Lebron James is coming to the University of Pennsylvania​ceca19ea ?in_archive=1

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-24 05:38:33 PM  
Dook is teh suxxor!!!11!!! lol omg roflmao !!1!1!
2003-04-24 05:39:12 PM  
BoneStorm and Trap
I know the point that you guys are making, but I love football and I read the stats religously. It is merely escapism. I also read a lot of books (not just sports either), fish, golf, drink and a whole lot of other things. For the record I had an extensive dating resume and I am married now. I don't mind people not liking sports, but I hate the people who deride people who do like sports.
2003-04-24 05:40:08 PM  
worth the newsflash - the hype is bigger than anything in the NHL/NFL or World Soccer right now

except the fact that
SPORTSFLASH...David Beckham is signing with Real Madrid... SPORTSFLASH
2003-04-24 05:42:13 PM  
I like boobies !!! i have an estenxsive pornograph collection too. ten.
2003-04-24 05:43:02 PM  
Sure, I don't care if you watch sports. I just hate whatever it is that makes it into such a huge event. I think my point is STOP SAYING DUKE SUCKS. I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL DUKE IS AND I DON'T CARE. IF IT WAS FUNNY TO SOMEONE THE FIRST FEW TIMES, IT ISN'T NOW.
2003-04-24 05:44:29 PM  
You're wrong, BoneStorm. Not all sports fans are extremists. I love sports. I watch sports on a regular basis -- I'd rather watch a baseball game than "The Bachelor" or "Will and Grace." I go to sporting events regularly. But I also know when to step away and do something else, like read FARK.

I don't study statistics, nor do I keep my own statistical records. But I'm good with numbers, always have been. So I know a lot of stats, but I don't sit there and memories them.

My point is that you should paint people with generalization.

I don't have a porn collection either. I have the Internet. And my wife.

BTW, I'm sick of this LeBron shiat. You'd think that LeBron hired ESPN as his own personal PR agency. I've never seen a media outlet give a high scooler so much attention to someone who <i>might</i> be a very good basketball player.
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