Not impressed by this evil plan:

but it was done for the people

If the populace won't rise up against him, let them continue to starve.

Follow the trail of Caff Pow...

Link farked. That was fast.

Yeah, but I bet they weren't macking on totally hot chi-
Oh wait, they were. My bad.

But...they have those sweet move-only-counter-clockwise traffic girls...

Link (new window)

Thanks China for making the hell on Earth known as North Korea.

Buy MATT DAMON!!

In 2002 the US public was told about the evils of Iraq.....

Link
The Kuwaiti Incubator Baby Hoax

On October 10, 1990, 15-year-old Nayirah was the most influential girl in the world. Tearfully relaying to Congress how she had witnessed Saddam's soldiers removing Kuwaiti babies from incubators and leaving them to die on a hospital floor, she added a crucial emotional rationale to the economic argument for U.S. involvement in the Gulf. For Robert Gray's Hill and Knowlton, which helped engineer her hearings and testimony, it was a PR masterstroke. Until, of course, it became the master's worst nightmare.

so ronery

I am Elmer J. Fudd, Millionaire. I own an mansion, and a yacht.

YouSaidWhat: In 2002 the US public was told about the evils of Iraq.....

The link you post is about 1990.

Sorry but bad news about the DPRK isn't some crazy neocon plot, the South Koreans, Japanese, Russians and Chinese are all in on the whole "DPRK does bad things to their people."

Besides no one was coming out of Iraq telling super crazy stories about Saddam and his boys, just run of the mill dictators who killed people. No giant fantasy art paintings in palaces or athletes in woodchippers.

When the DPRK falls, the truth about the Kims will end up being worse than we've thought.

FTFA: He had a passion for high-priced foreign cars, ranging from Mercedes-Benz and Citroens to Cadillacs and Lincolns

Oh wow. It really says a lot about North Korea if even the DICTATOR thinks Citroens are expensive foreign cars.

NittLion78

I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

I have no idea why.

also kids, remember, arguing on the internet is like competing in the special olympics. even if you win, you're still a tard.

Torrentius: If the populace won't rise up against him, let them continue to starve.

Gotta say... THIS!

If they are happy with a ruler that treats them like garbage and blows billions on himself let them starve. Its not our job or responsibility to free them.

It's just like the wife of a husband who keeps going back to him despite getting beat up and beer bottles thrown at her. You can try to help her, but in the end she's just a glutton for punishment.

purell...

yea, just think about that

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Sir Charles: NittLion78

I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

I have no idea why.

also kids, remember, arguing on the internet is like competing in the special olympics. even if you win, you're still a tard.

That can be put to awesome use.

Especially since the Official Web Page of the Democratic Republic of Korea is also in the .com domain.

/wait, what?

no oil for us to take over, too bad for the peasantry there!

dumbgai: no oil for us to take over, too bad for the peasantry there!

Not much, but uranium mines with an estimated four million tons of exploitable high-quality uranium ore. Estimates are that the ore contains approximately 0.8% extractable uranium.

Sir Charles: NittLion78

I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

I have no idea why.

also kids, remember, arguing on the internet is like competing in the special olympics. even if you win, you're still a tard.

Please, the preferred term is Palin American.

North Korea is really a no win situation no matter what happens. An invasion by outside powers will get South Korea destroyed. Internal collapse may cause the successors (whether Kim Jong Il's son or General who takes power) to formulate a conflict to consolidate his authority resulting in South Korea being destroyed. Hell even an internal collapse prompting reunification with South Korea would leave the whole area economically depressed for years to come given the billions and billions it would take to correct the problems of decades of kleptocracy in the North. I cannot think of a positive scenario coming out of North Korea when Kim Jong Il finally dies.

Given that this is a Fark headline, the first word that popped out at me as I scanned it was "defecators"
/poppy

Inside a North Korean Arcade (new window).

Sorry, no Galaga.

"Pound pastrami, can kraut, six bagels--bring home for Emma."

This us double plus ungood...wait, what?

I know how to solve the N. Korea situation.
When Star Craft II comes out we just airdrop a couple million laptops with it installed on them behind the DMZ.
They will love it!

Sir Charles: I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

Dude, I hope you sufficiently anonymized your whois info. Them DPRK agents might kill you in broad daylight if you dare criticize Fearless Leader.

Wait, Dear Leader likes Cadillacs? Well Mr. Il, just give us some time to make a few special mods and you can send over an agent to pick up your own special CTS-V. You know mods that benefit your great stature.

/Boss: Why are you wiring up a nuke to to the ignition?
//Us: Umh, testing purposes?
///I work with a number of Daewoo engineers who would happily foot the cost for the car and the nuke or C4

Daedalus27: North Korea is really a no win situation no matter what happens. An invasion by outside powers will get South Korea destroyed. Internal collapse may cause the successors (whether Kim Jong Il's son or General who takes power) to formulate a conflict to consolidate his authority resulting in South Korea being destroyed. Hell even an internal collapse prompting reunification with South Korea would leave the whole area economically depressed for years to come given the billions and billions it would take to correct the problems of decades of kleptocracy in the North. I cannot think of a positive scenario coming out of North Korea when Kim Jong Il finally dies.

Buy them off. We go the various generals and power brokers and basically buy them out. We let them keep vast tracts of land, keep some of the locals as serfs and control the resources on that land (they'll get massive payouts from Western and Chinese companies to mine on that land). In exchange we get the nukes and those artillery pieces pointed at Seoul. These little quasi-warlords/captains industry can keep some armed troops and shiat like that. Then in a decade or so, the Korean government can pass some land reform laws, nationalize things, give the workers more rights and when the former north Korean leadership protests, send in the real army to step on their necks.

Basically it comes down to selling various leaders on "You can have more money and nicer things if you do business with the west, as opposed to running a personality cult and weird rhythm gymnastic events." Dangle insane amounts of money in front of their eyes and craftily write some kind of unified constitution where the majority of the legislative power and control of the military stays in the hands of Southern politicians.

/not as fun as blowing their heads off, but likely cheaper than a modern war and lower body count

Jubeebee: Inanities: I know how to solve the N. Korea situation.
When Star Craft II comes out we just airdrop a couple million laptops with it installed on them behind the DMZ.
They will love it!

North Korea doesn't play Starcraft, that's the South. The North thinks that the capitalist imperialist pigdogs are jealous of Dear Leader's hyperadvanced superfun invention, Pong.

yeah, I know it's the South. The North Koreans will realize what they've been missing, though and the two Koreas will gingerly tip toe through the mine fields and hug and reunite and cry and then collectively kick America's ass online. How could North Koreans not go for this? All Koreans love starcraft, some of them just don't know they do because they live on the wrong side of the DMZ.

C0rf: Sir Charles: I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

Dude, I hope you sufficiently anonymized your whois info. Them DPRK agents might kill you in broad daylight if you dare criticize Fearless Leader.

Or Sean Penn will want him jailed for calling a dictator a dictator.

C0rf: Sir Charles: I just picked up the domain name northkoreaisbestkorea.com

Dude, I hope you sufficiently anonymized your whois info. Them DPRK agents might kill you in broad daylight if you dare criticize Fearless Leader.

They can come get me, it's registered to Mr Dobilina. Mr Bob Dobilina.

/and the address is a crack house

Torrentius: If the populace won't rise up against him, let them continue to starve.

_______________

I wish it were that easy.

1. The average citizen of North Korea barely gets subsistence levels of food (to the point that they have turned into a diminutive race of dwarfs due to malnutrition during childhood.) They are generally too weak to put up an effective fight against a well armed, relatively well trained, and definitely well fed army.

2. They are subject to constant propaganda - the whole place actually believes that the rest of the world is horrible, and as bad as they have it, elsewhere is worse. (Even if you discount 99% of what you see as bullshiat, (and I assume they must, as they can't all be total mental retards) when what you see is 99.9% lies, that 0.9% that you fail to separate from the tiny amount of truth you are given, your world view will still be based on lies.) There is actually a death penalty attached to the possession of a radio.

3. All potential dissenters end up in one of two places: t=the army or a reeducation camp where they along with the rest of their family are starved to death. The ones who end up in the army are given plenty of food and a good view of what happens to entire families who end up in the reeducation camps. (I suppose the vast majority of them figure it is best to live in relative comfort in the army enforcing "Dear Leader's" dictates than fruitlessly joining the dissidents in the camps and condemning your whole family along with you.)

4. While I do not know this, I suspect the DPRK also engage in practices we learned about from Sadam's regime. E.G. having security people engage in midnight "false coups" - what happens is that two people break into a key person's room with masks and guns saying "we are starting a revolution, are you with us or against us?" and if the key person gives the wrong answer, they shoot him. Only, the wrong answer in this case is "I am with you." Then publicize the elimination of traitors in the ranks who were tools of the evil capitalists.

etc., etc., etc.

/It will take someone willing to sacrifice not just his own life, but that of his entire family to assassinate "Dear Leader," and even then, it would be a gamble on who will replace him.

/You want real change, find a way to broadcast South Korean TV into North Korea that the North Korean government can't block. Let the North Koreans see what they are missing out on.

just2quixotic:
/You want real change, find a way to broadcast South Korean TV into North Korea that the North Korean government can't block. Let the North Koreans see what they are missing out on.

IIRC the North Korean TVs are set up to only get a few VHF/UHF channels. That being said, it would likely be easy to override the North Korean towers with our own signals, we have entirely military units whose only job is to do things like that. Problem is that will piss off the unstable dictator.

A better solution would likely be to get some smaller personal TV devices, like those FloTVs or whatever you call them. Load down an internal hard drive or memory cards with South Korean TV shows, Wonder Girls and SNSD. Set them up so they can recharge off a standard NK wall socket and are easy to hide. Feed them into the NK blackmarket at really low prices, just have a few cheap Chinese fabs spitting these things out and dump them in. Spread your pop culture that way.

just2quixotic: Torrentius: If the populace won't rise up against him, let them continue to starve.

_______________

I wish it were that easy.

1. The average citizen of North Korea barely gets subsistence levels of food (to the point that they have turned into a diminutive race of dwarfs due to malnutrition during childhood.) They are generally too weak to put up an effective fight against a well armed, relatively well trained, and definitely well fed army.

2. They are subject to constant propaganda - the whole place actually believes that the rest of the world is horrible, and as bad as they have it, elsewhere is worse. (Even if you discount 99% of what you see as bullshiat, (and I assume they must, as they can't all be total mental retards) when what you see is 99.9% lies, that 0.9% that you fail to separate from the tiny amount of truth you are given, your world view will still be based on lies.) There is actually a death penalty attached to the possession of a radio.

3. All potential dissenters end up in one of two places: t=the army or a reeducation camp where they along with the rest of their family are starved to death. The ones who end up in the army are given plenty of food and a good view of what happens to entire families who end up in the reeducation camps. (I suppose the vast majority of them figure it is best to live in relative comfort in the army enforcing "Dear Leader's" dictates than fruitlessly joining the dissidents in the camps and condemning your whole family along with you.)

4. While I do not know this, I suspect the DPRK also engage in practices we learned about from Sadam's regime. E.G. having security people engage in midnight "false coups" - what happens is that two people break into a key person's room with masks and guns saying "we are starting a revolution, are you with us or against us?" and if the key person gives the wrong answer, they shoot him. Only, the wrong answer in this case is "I am with you." Then publicize the elimination of traitors in the ranks who were tools of the evil capitalists.

etc., etc., etc.

/It will take someone willing to sacrifice not just his own life, but that of his entire family to assassinate "Dear Leader," and even then, it would be a gamble on who will replace him.

/You want real change, find a way to broadcast South Korean TV into North Korea that the North Korean government can't block. Let the North Koreans see what they are missing out on.

Pretty much summed it up. The average N. Korean's life is probably woven from so many threads of misery that anything better would just hurt to think about let alone be in the realm of possibility for them.
It really bugs me when people hold no empathy for oppressed populations. They act like they wouldn't be terrified if they were in the same situation and they don't understand just how weak one person is when compared to a regime built on 50ish years of terror.

I was just flabbergasted to see the private land holdings which include horse racetracks and private train stations.



But the single most evil thing is the giant water slide and the accompanying Olympic sized swimming pool and nobody is riding on it. It makes you yearn for a Real Genius space assassination weapon.

ha-ha-guy:
Buy them off. We go the various generals and power brokers and basically buy them out. We let them keep vast tracts of land, keep some of the locals as serfs and control the resources on that land (they'll get massive payouts from Western and Chinese companies to mine on that land). In exchange we get the nukes and those artillery pieces pointed at Seoul. These little quasi-warlords/captains industry can keep some armed troops and shiat like that. Then in a decade or so, the Korean government can pass some land reform laws, nationalize things, give the workers more rights and when the former north Korean leadership protests, send in the real army to step on their necks.

Basically it comes down to selling various leaders on "You can have more money and nicer things if you do business with the west, as opposed to running a personality cult and weird rhythm gymnastic events." Dangle insane amounts of money in front of their eyes and craftily write some kind of unified constitution where the majority of the legislative power and control of the military stays in the hands of Southern politicians.

/not as fun as blowing their heads off, but likely cheaper than a modern war and lower body count

The problem with buying them off is the fact that they have what they want right now. Where is the incentive to give up absolute power for less of it. Once they give up the security of a large army and quasi-nuclear weapons (since we don't know how well they work), there is no guarantee that the North Korean population wouldn't line them up against a wall and shoot them (or worse) once they see how much unnecessary misery they have been submitted to.

Even assuming you get a peaceful transfer of power, there is still the issue of a massive economic disruption for South Korea attempting to intergrate North Korea. Think of German on replace East Germans relatively advanced society with uneducated serfs. How to you intergrate a population that has been brainwashed and has no marketable skills or economy to speak of. We don't even know the condition of the land in North Korea and whether it is a ecological nightmare or relatively clean (my guess is quite a few horrors but many areas relatively untouched).

In any event this won't be a relatively smooth reunification like Germany experienced but a painful and potentially violent process that could end up destroying South Korea. West Germany could afford the billions needed to smooth over the transition and East Germany wasn't nearly as backward as gulf between North and South Korea. South Korea isn't nearly as wealthy and it would require all their efforts as well as many donations from the international community to try and keep things stable. South Korea is probably scared to death the North would simply throw up their hands and turn the keys over to them. South Korea is invested as much in the status quo as everyone because scale of problems trying to absorb North Korea would cause. So simply bribing the leadership to go away quietly isn't exactly useful in avoid these problems.

You can say what you want about Kim Jong but you have to admit he is a very good dictator. His people are dying of starvation and he is buying Cadillacs and shiat. I mean if you wanted to be an evil son of a biatch, he's a pretty good study.

SystemFault: After decades of cock-ups, what can the West do at this point?

1) Wait it out by continuing useless negotiations
2) Let them starve
3) Preemptive nuclear strike on military/political elite

Number three sounds awful, but is it as bad as the total human suffering that NK has visited upon its people just in the last famine?

Ladies and gentlemen, living proof as to why the rest of the world is more afraid of the US than the US is afraid of the world.

Torrentius: If the populace won't rise up against him, let them continue to starve.

Stay in school. Actually, don't. No point in dumbing down our schools further.

Seems like half the farking people in the Koreas are named Kim. Makes it hard to figure out who they're talking about in a news article, you have to go back and sort them all out.