FARK.com: (5090093) Paramount is working on an adaptation of the Book of Genesis. In 3-D

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(Worst Previews)		Paramount is working on an adaptation of the Book of Genesis. In 3-D (worstpreviews.com)		56
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1039 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Mar 2010 at 10:24 PM | Favorite | share:

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jj325		2010-03-08 07:57:45 PM

Wow--Kirk Cameron may get an acting job

dj_bigbird		2010-03-08 08:02:32 PM

Which version of the creation story are they going to use?

unlikely		2010-03-08 08:04:36 PM

I wonder if they'll use the R. Crumb book as the storyboards.

Bob_Laublaw		2010-03-08 08:07:49 PM

Peter Gabriel should cameo as God.

Born2late		2010-03-08 08:13:09 PM

It'd be awesome if they stayed true to the source.

CGI fractal begats could be interesting.

SoothinglyDeranged		2010-03-08 09:05:39 PM

On that note, I feel I should ask what Hollywood if they know what I watched in 3-D last nighter.

Their Momma! Wooooooo.... Seriously, enough of the 3-D crap.

Lost Thought 00		2010-03-08 09:30:43 PM

Better have goddamn dinosaurs.

le mew		2010-03-08 09:55:36 PM

so an NC-17 rating for violence?

GAT_00		2010-03-08 10:05:08 PM

le mew: so an NC-17 rating for violence?

I'm more thinking the rating should be NC-17 because everyone is going to be naked.

le mew		2010-03-08 10:19:33 PM

GAT_00: I'm more thinking the rating should be NC-17 because everyone is going to be naked.

oh yeah, and if they all came from Adam and Eve, there will be brothers and sisters farking each other.

Gangway Fathead		2010-03-08 10:26:24 PM

SoothinglyDeranged: On that note, I feel I should ask what Hollywood if they know what I watched in 3-D last nighter.

Their Momma! Wooooooo.... Seriously, enough of the 3-D crap.

It seems to be working for someone.

Gravitholus		2010-03-08 10:36:36 PM

I still haven't seen it.
Don't tell me how it ends.

Bith Set Me Up		2010-03-08 10:41:07 PM

Both are intrigued.

PsyLord		2010-03-08 10:42:18 PM

I forget, is this the one with the vengeful God or the happy-go-lucky God?

Goonie_Goo_Goo		2010-03-08 10:47:08 PM

unlikely: I wonder if they'll use the R. Crumb book as the storyboards.

damn, beat me to it...

DrZiffle		2010-03-08 10:47:48 PM

...Genesis. In 3-d.

WATCH OUT FOR THAT APPLE! AAHHHH!

FrancoFile		2010-03-08 10:50:56 PM

I bring you these fifteen.... No, ten. Ten Commandments!

almandot		2010-03-08 10:54:53 PM

Didn't the book of genesis take 6-D with another D of rest afterwards?

/baddum

Tickle Mittens		2010-03-08 10:58:02 PM

le mew: GAT_00: I'm more thinking the rating should be NC-17 because everyone is going to be naked.

oh yeah, and if they all came from Adam and Eve, there will be brothers and sisters farking each other.

...at around 13 years of age. Hot grits for everyone! Gatorade for pedobear!

JasonOfOrillia		2010-03-08 11:02:57 PM

But will it be factual?

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER		2010-03-08 11:04:33 PM

My Jewish ex-girlfriend once told me that the bible is an odd story because the hero dies in the middle.

FrancoFile		2010-03-08 11:07:09 PM

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: My Jewish ex-girlfriend once told me that the bible is an odd story because the hero dies in the middle.

Well then, so is Julius Caesar.

MrLint		2010-03-08 11:11:30 PM

insert snarky comment about fiction here.

bingo the psych-o		2010-03-08 11:14:06 PM

MrLint: insert snarky comment about fiction here.

Snarky comment about fiction.

JasonOfOrillia		2010-03-08 11:17:21 PM

FrancoFile: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: My Jewish ex-girlfriend once told me that the bible is an odd story because the hero dies in the middle.

Well then, so is Julius Caesar.

Better than Sunset Boulevard where the hero dies in the beginning.

SoothinglyDeranged		2010-03-08 11:17:37 PM

Gangway Fathead: SoothinglyDeranged: On that note, I feel I should ask what Hollywood if they know what I watched in 3-D last nighter.

Their Momma! Wooooooo.... Seriously, enough of the 3-D crap.

It seems to be working for someone.

I wish I was drunk so I at least had an excuse for that terrible terrible post.

TheyCallThisWork		2010-03-08 11:36:29 PM

JasonOfOrillia: Better than Sunset Boulevard where the hero dies in the beginning.

I hate it when someone ruins the beginning of a movie for me.

Gyrfalcon		2010-03-08 11:53:21 PM

dj_bigbird: Which version of the creation story are they going to use?

The evolutionary one.

Epiphany		2010-03-08 11:56:10 PM

fark all the fark atheists, I think there is plenty to make that movie badass.

/the creation of the universe
//devil snake
///Noah, Nephlim
////win

soseussme		2010-03-09 12:13:51 AM

I wonder what the Happy Meal toys will be like.

hypocaffeinemia		2010-03-09 12:14:23 AM

I came for the lego bible link. Leaving disappointed.

3D Genesis has been done: Brick Testament (new window)

ifarkthereforiam		2010-03-09 12:22:35 AM

Fantasy with great special effects. I smell a blockbuster.

Delawheredad		2010-03-09 12:26:49 AM

There was a time when Hollywood churned out Biblical epics. before "Passion of the Christ" the last one was probably King David with Richard Gere as old Davy! It flopped big time. "The last Temptation of Christ" did ok but its source was not the Bible (at least not directly). Depending on the script it could work but if their intended audience is just the fundies it will flop. "Passion" was a fluke.

alaric3		2010-03-09 12:32:30 AM

Genesis isn't so bad for a set of fairytales. The real head scratchers of logic hit you in Exodus and Leviticus. We would have so much fewer problems if Dreamcoat Joe had just bit it in that pit.

browntimmy		2010-03-09 12:33:07 AM

I vote Christopher Walken voices the talking snake in a tree.

invictus2		2010-03-09 12:49:31 AM

Cast as God
why:
1)he is a jew ( God's chosen right)
2)the soon yi thing odder relationships of the sexes happened in the bible (still dont condone his actions by the way)
3)Only a jew with neurosis, would think after 6 days he need rest,
Also,the existance of the duckbill platypus proves the point of it.
epedia.pbworks.com

Fark Me To Tears		2010-03-09 01:00:37 AM

So, who will play Cain's wife? I wonder where she'll come from?

NDP2		2010-03-09 01:33:59 AM

le mew: GAT_00: I'm more thinking the rating should be NC-17 because everyone is going to be naked.

oh yeah, and if they all came from Adam and Eve, there will be brothers and sisters farking each other.

Not to mention the part with Lot and his daughters in the cave.

Con Fabulous		2010-03-09 01:45:54 AM

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God creates the heaven and earth. Then, sometime later, he decides to create light.

Yep, sounds like a 3D visual experience would improve the hell out of that.

syrynxx		2010-03-09 01:54:32 AM

They're going to have a tough time reconciling the myths. Were Adam and Eve created at the same time, as Chapter 1 says, or was there a large gap between the creation of Adam and Eve, as Chapter 2 says?

Chapter 1 timeline:

Day 4: Fish and fowl
Day 5: Beasts of the earth
Day 6: Adam and Eve

Chapter 2: No good correllation to days, but the order is different:

First: Adam
Second: All the animals in one shot
Third: Eve, from Adam's rib

It has to be one or the other - like Balrogs wings being physical or metaphorical.

thunderbird8804		2010-03-09 02:24:59 AM

Oh come on Paramount, don't do Genesis, it's boring, poorly written and edited, and full of very objectionable content (sort of an iron age Twilight now that I think about it). Do the better version, the one that proves that even a blind man could write Genesis better than God.

huntgatherlove.com

Sure it's completely unfilmable, but that's no reason not to try and fail miserably.

/Loves me some Paradise Lost, would love even more to see it on the silver screen

I Like Bread		2010-03-09 02:34:54 AM

Is Vincent Gallo writing the screenplay?

ffca		2010-03-09 03:10:12 AM

thunderbird8804: Oh come on Paramount, don't do Genesis, it's boring, poorly written and edited, and full of very objectionable content (sort of an iron age Twilight now that I think about it). Do the better version, the one that proves that even a blind man could write Genesis better than God.

Sure it's completely unfilmable, but that's no reason not to try and fail miserably.

/Loves me some Paradise Lost, would love even more to see it on the silver screen

You know, I was thinking that this might not be so bad, because how kickass would it be to see Lucifer calling up the troops after the fall from heaven?

Then I realized I was thinking about John effing Milton and not the actual book of Genesis.

/Still voting for the Milton version.
//I wouldn't mind seeing some Lilith subplots, either.
///Being an English major is better than Sunday School...although university doesn't have those felt storyboards, and I'm positive I'd pay more attention to Middlemarch if they did.

Fluorescent Testicle		2010-03-09 03:18:46 AM

Well hey, if they use that 3D to show Eve's naked titties flapping about...

Alphax		2010-03-09 07:44:32 AM

le mew: GAT_00: I'm more thinking the rating should be NC-17 because everyone is going to be naked.

oh yeah, and if they all came from Adam and Eve, there will be brothers and sisters farking each other.

Did Adam & Eve have any daughters? I don't remember them.

Goonie_Goo_Goo		2010-03-09 07:55:55 AM

I Like Bread: Is Vincent Gallo writing the screenplay?

Being that he believes he's God, I'm sure he'll claim that he already wrote the screenplay. It's in a hotel room near you.

abb3w		2010-03-09 08:23:57 AM

thunderbird8804: Oh come on Paramount, don't do Genesis, it's boring, poorly written and edited, and full of very objectionable content (sort of an iron age Twilight now that I think about it).

While an insightful comparison, it's not one that is likely to prevent the movie from being made.

Infinite Monkey		2010-03-09 10:44:10 AM

Epiphany: fark all the fark atheists, I think there is plenty to make that movie badass.

/the creation of the universe
//devil snake
///Noah, Nephlim
////win

This atheist would love to see this movie. (Well, as long as it's good. I was severely disapppointed by Passion of the Christ- I'd been hoping for something with the awesomeness of Braveheart.)

Also, the Cain and Abel bit in "Year One" was hilarious. If they can make this movie that good, but dramatic instead of funny, I'll both see it in theater and buy the Happy Meal.