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(Some Guy)   'Parents of the year' front-runners traded sex with their 14-year-old daughter for a 1998 minivan   (truecrimereport.com) divider line 188
    More: Sick, christian conservatives, favorites, sexual favors, benefit of the doubt, parolees, single person, federal prison, foster care  
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33254 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2010 at 11:10 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



188 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-04 07:44:57 AM  
Well, in fairness...that was a pretty biatchin' minivan.
 
2010-03-04 07:53:53 AM  
If it's 98 feet long, I hardly think it qualifies as a MINI van.
 
2010-03-04 08:15:16 AM  
ThatWomanFromMassachusetts: If it's 98 feet long, I hardly think it qualifies as a MINI van.

I think Smitty is saying it's a model year 9819.
 
2010-03-04 08:34:35 AM  
Don't think of it as trading. Think of it as borrowing.
 
2010-03-04 08:47:08 AM  
I don't know, the other one linked from that page that filmed themselves sexoring their cerebral palsy kid on a respirator is front runner material too. Link (new window) There's some sick f*cks out there.
 
2010-03-04 08:47:26 AM  
Hell, that's not a bad deal. You could do cash for clunkers and get a couple grand.
 
2010-03-04 08:50:50 AM  
FTFA: As for the financially creative car salesman, he has a list of busts going all the way back to the '70s, when he ran for the Georgia State Senate.

So, the dealer is a Republican.

No! Wait! Wait! He sexed up a 14-year-old girl. So he's probably straight.

Democrat. The dealer is a Democrat. Damn libruls!
 
2010-03-04 09:12:47 AM  
Good for them reporting the names, because what would this girl do with the anonymity?
 
2010-03-04 09:16:18 AM  
EvilEgg: ThatWomanFromMassachusetts: If it's 98 feet long, I hardly think it qualifies as a MINI van.

I think Smitty is saying it's a model year 9819.


Must be one of those Jewish minivans.
 
2010-03-04 09:37:30 AM  
Article blocked at work

What did the 14-year old have to say about it? For all we know:

"Damn, I'd do that that guy in a heartbeat"
"Don't talk like that, young lady!"
"What I'm jus' sayin'"
"Wait a minute... hmmm... a plan is forming"
 
2010-03-04 09:59:17 AM  
I know what some of you are thinking. I could never get a 1998 minivan for one bout of sex with my ugly daughter. But think about it. You could get a rusted out 1970 VW bug, for several sessions with your daughter...then trade those in for a 1998 minivan.

Entrepreneurship is kind of a gift with me.
 
2010-03-04 10:07:34 AM  
I_C_Weener:
Entrepreneurship is kind of a gift with me.


That would be entrevenerealship in this case.
 
2010-03-04 10:08:59 AM  
How many miles (on the daughter)?
 
2010-03-04 10:13:27 AM  
There is a special place in hell for people like that... (And I'm an atheist) I truly hope that they are beaten and abused in prison... I hope that little girl can have some semblance of peace in her life..
 
2010-03-04 10:21:25 AM  
"What do we need to do, to get you, in our daughter, today?"
 
2010-03-04 10:38:06 AM  
www.stickergiant.com

/ prefers the fishing rod version
 
2010-03-04 10:39:20 AM  
a7.vox.com

Picture of van before it was sold for that price.

/Hot like a deal
 
2010-03-04 11:10:03 AM  
it's not like the reputation of used car salesmen could get any lower anyway
 
2010-03-04 11:11:39 AM  
BRB

Off to Craigslist...
 
2010-03-04 11:12:36 AM  
So they can take her to school. Duh.

This is in the child's best interest.
 
2010-03-04 11:12:36 AM  
It's an even trade. The airbags on both are weak at best.
 
2010-03-04 11:13:03 AM  
He even threw in the manual choke. How thoughtful.
 
2010-03-04 11:13:49 AM  
What? No picture of the daughter?
 
2010-03-04 11:14:08 AM  
How much for the women? How much for the little girl?
 
2010-03-04 11:16:26 AM  
When that van is a rockin, don't come a knockin!
 
2010-03-04 11:17:25 AM  
For a 1998 minivan.... she couldn't have been that hot then.
 
2010-03-04 11:18:22 AM  
Headline can be taken two ways, both nasty.
 
2010-03-04 11:18:41 AM  
"Buy here, pay lay here!"
 
2010-03-04 11:18:50 AM  
Ah, barter. Better than cash.
 
2010-03-04 11:19:25 AM  
Now I feel like barfing.
 
2010-03-04 11:20:00 AM  
The parents in the next story (new window) might give these clowns a run for their money:

The couple admitted to shooting photos of themselves during sex acts with two of the children. One is a teen with cerebral palsy, epilepsy and mental retardation who's on a respirator and can't function on is own. Pictures backing up their admissions were found on computers and a camera.
 
2010-03-04 11:20:08 AM  
This sounds straight out of the Old Testament!

Didn't Lot trade his underage virginal daughters to a mob or rapists so that they would leave him (and his guests) alone?
 
2010-03-04 11:21:24 AM  
And some farkers are always saying they see no benefit to having kids.
 
2010-03-04 11:21:35 AM  
For a romp with a 14-year old you should get a vehicle less than ten years old. I'm just sayin'.
 
2010-03-04 11:22:20 AM  
nothingyet: Ah, barter. Better than cash.

$2000? In this economy? You can't be serious. How about 20 minutes with my daughter?
 
2010-03-04 11:22:56 AM  
radioman_: For a romp with a 14-year old you should get a vehicle less than ten years old. I'm just sayin'.

What if she's fat?
 
2010-03-04 11:24:01 AM  
The ad said "1998 mini van. Interesting trades considered."

and / or

12 year old girl: Daddy wants me to do something with the used car guy. Says we'll get a car out of the deal.
16 year old brother: Later, I'll tell what I had to do when mommy got your new computer.
 
2010-03-04 11:24:19 AM  
Then it's more of a "fwomp" than a "romp."
 
2010-03-04 11:26:10 AM  
The best thing about 1998 minivans?

Dude, there almost 2000 of them...
 
2010-03-04 11:27:21 AM  
"The Minivan:" 2 in the front, 5 in the rear!
 
2010-03-04 11:27:55 AM  
Well to be fair, it was air-conditioned.
 
2010-03-04 11:28:05 AM  
How did a 14 year old girl get a minivan, and why did her parents have to offer sex to get her to trade it to them?
 
2010-03-04 11:29:00 AM  
Toyota is not having a good year. These 2 dirt bags look way too much like the actors shilling for the Sienna minivan in the new commercials. Here's one on Youtube. (new window)
 
2010-03-04 11:29:06 AM  
"We've come to another arrangement."
starsmedia.ign.com
 
2010-03-04 11:29:39 AM  
how can we decide if this was a good or bad deal without seeing the 14 yr old daughter?

if all they got was an old minivan she's probably fat.
 
2010-03-04 11:29:45 AM  
radioman_: For a romp with a 14-year old you should get a vehicle less than ten years old. I'm just sayin'.

They really aren't all that rare... they can the price of a 6 pack of hard lemonade and a willingness to listen to them babble for a while.

I think the parents came out ahead on the deal.
 
2010-03-04 11:30:01 AM  
Adman12: The parents in the next story (new window) might give these clowns a run for their money:

The couple admitted to shooting photos of themselves during sex acts with two of the children. One is a teen with cerebral palsy, epilepsy and mental retardation who's on a respirator and can't function on is own. Pictures backing up their admissions were found on computers and a camera.


They look so normal. They to have CHILD MOLESTER tattooed on their foreheads. And cut their fingers off. They don't deserve dexterity any more.
 
2010-03-04 11:30:50 AM  
Did she get undercoating?
 
2010-03-04 11:30:58 AM  
Elvis_Bogart
Well, in fairness...that was a pretty biatchin' minivan.

And it was even newer than the daughter who might have been a 1996 model.
 
2010-03-04 11:31:16 AM  
I propose this as a gauge of beauty and desirability.

If a girl is super-hot, you could say she's worth a trade for a 2010 Tesla Roadster, while the most exceedingly ugly chick might be a trade for a 1985 Yugo.

Crude, I know, but I'd certainly sell my own body in exchange for a late-model vehicle. Any ladies want to take my offer? I'll admit, now that I'm older I'm not exactly worth a trade for a 2010 Chevy Corvette but I'm easily worth a 2005 Toyota Prius, or even a 2009 Nissan Qube.

Hell, I'll even settle for a trade for a 1999 Chevy Malibu.

It's a good deal, ladies. Think about it.
 
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