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Bus drivers Kramden to storm sewers, coriolis effect swirlies, and 12-parsec intermissions: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 - 2/27 
Posted by Drew at 2010-03-02 3:58:24 PM (27 comments) | Permalink
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4215 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2010 at 4:03 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, so here are the unadorned headlines for your entertainment.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-02-21 to Sat 2010-02-27:

img1.fark.net  America ranked laziest country in the wor    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Beer doctor once again proves to be a better job than gynecologist, probably because you don't get as tired of the bitter, yeasty notes in beer    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Women passes away at 93 leaving 15 children, 200 grandchildren and 2000 great-grandchildren. Funeral procession to be one hearse and 317 Suvs    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Obama proposes Great Lakes cleanup, which presumably involves relocating Detroit to Nebraska    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Britain's National Health Service spent £4 million funding four homeopathic hospitals last year. Suggestion: this year, give each hospital £10, and tell them it will work better because it's diluted    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Scientists discover area of western North Atlantic where trash tends to accumulate, naming it "Quebec"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Bus driver rescues woman from storm sewer. Still not sure how she got Kramden there    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  North Korean rice shipment to the Republic of Congo found to contain a suspicious level of T-55 tank parts. Authorities tipped off by the unlikelyhood of North Korea having any extra rice to ship anywhere    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Dumb jock image is a myth, athletes do well academically. Those swirlies they gave you were just a demonstration of the coriolis effect    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Legless man plants explosive device at NYC train station. Now the trains aren't running either    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gordon Brown insists Britain not involved in torture, conveniently forgetting the cuisine    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  Johnny Damon claims that the Tigers were his "first choice", forgets to add "...after the Yankees, the White Sox, and the Braves"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Sandy Koufax dashes Mets fans hopes by announcing he was only at spring training to give the pitchers advice, not compete for the number 4 spot in the rotation    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Hillary Duff announces engagement to NHL player Mike Comrie. Comrie celebrated with mild checking against the boards before going five-hole    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  'The Man of Steel' goes platinum. A copy of Action Comics #1 sells for $1 million. Meanwhile, your boxes of X-titles have proven to be adequate shelf supports in the garage    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Physicist calls on Hollywood to tone down the fanciful science in movies and restrict themselves to just one scientific flaw per film. Also have intermissions every 12 parsecs so people can use the restroom    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Descartes letter found, therefore it is    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Kim Kardashian annoyed by marriage rumors, Bajorans    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Pixar turns down "Newt." They got better    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Max Max Max Headroom is coming to to to to to DVD D D D D    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would win election if the health care bill kept the public option, according to poll commissioned by the progressive group Committee for Providing Hints to Dumbasses    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Support for labor unions among Americans, which was as high as 58 percent in 2007, is down to 41 percent. A spokesman for unions is expected to respond after his break    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Bush says he won't be an annoying ex-president to President Obama like a certain one was to him. Yes, he's looking at you Mr. Habitat for Hamas    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  George Michael seen hanging out with Rob Thomas, fueling rumors there's money in the banana stand    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Johnny Cash releases yet another new album, is said to be considering a duet record with Tupac as his next project    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Muse says the decision by Warner to pull free songs from the net "issssss dis-aaapoiiiiiiiinnnting"    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  Reader's Digest condenses Chapter 11    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Magic Johnson calls off plan to acquire struggling publisher of Ebony and Jet magazines, says he couldn't guarantee black ink    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  WellPoint CEO testifies before Congressional Death Panel. The execution was televised    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-03-02 04:05:51 PM  
We demand Drew posts his blog weekly!!!
 
2010-03-02 04:07:33 PM  
A decent batch of headlines this week, but one of my favorites was a headline that just didn't get in quick enough to be greenlit, on Canada's gold medal men's hockey win on Sunday:


Canadian hockey team defeats U.S. to even series at 1-1

(redlit, must be TF to read the thread)
 
2010-03-02 04:08:35 PM  
I think Drew is to Unfreakable as Tyler Durden is to Narrator
 
2010-03-02 04:09:32 PM  
Is there a place we can see previous "headlines of the week"? No? :-\
 
2010-03-02 04:10:23 PM  
albo: I think Drew is to Unfreakable as Tyler Durden is to Narrator

Consider this: we've never been at the same Fark party at the same time, ever. That's just a coincidence, though.
 
2010-03-02 04:11:45 PM  
homeschooled: Is there a place we can see previous "headlines of the week"? No? :-\

Survey says: yes
 
2010-03-02 04:16:49 PM  
homeschooled: Is there a place we can see previous "headlines of the week"? No? :-\

I would think you can look at drew's blogs to find them... but this is the only blog located here. Looks like you can find them here.
 
2010-03-02 04:22:30 PM  
The "Kramden" headline is just bah-rilliant!
 
2010-03-02 04:22:37 PM  
Unfreakable: homeschooled: Is there a place we can see previous "headlines of the week"? No? :-\

Survey says: yes


Thank you, sir.
 
2010-03-02 04:35:44 PM  
Regarding the Superman headline...

I have the X-Men comic with Gambit's first appearance. 266 I think? One of you comic dorks on Fark told me it was worth money.
 
2010-03-02 04:37:19 PM  
You guys picked the wrong Hilary Duff headline.

"Hillary Duff teaches women how to accept a marriage proposal. With photo greatness (Not safe for work)" was 100x better.
 
2010-03-02 04:46:59 PM  
Unfreakable: Canadian hockey team defeats U.S. to even series at 1-1

that is funny.
 
2010-03-02 04:52:40 PM  
PowerSlacker: You guys picked the wrong Hilary Duff headline.

"Hillary Duff teaches women how to accept a marriage proposal. With photo greatness (Not safe for work)" was 100x better.


That headline isn't funny.
 
2010-03-02 05:08:04 PM  
Unfreakable: PowerSlacker: You guys picked the wrong Hilary Duff headline.

"Hillary Duff teaches women how to accept a marriage proposal. With photo greatness (Not safe for work)" was 100x better.

That headline isn't funny.


This statement is correct. Unfreakable knows funny.
 
2010-03-02 05:10:13 PM  
Unfreakable: PowerSlacker: You guys picked the wrong Hilary Duff headline.

"Hillary Duff teaches women how to accept a marriage proposal. With photo greatness (Not safe for work)" was 100x better.

That headline isn't funny.


Did you click the link?
 
2010-03-02 05:23:11 PM  
PowerSlacker: Did you click the link?

I know the link; it was originally posted in the first thread. But the link doesn't make that headline funny. Entertaining maybe, but not funny.
 
2010-03-02 06:29:20 PM  
nbrfwhoooo: Regarding the Superman headline...

I have the X-Men comic with Gambit's first appearance. 266 I think? One of you comic dorks on Fark told me it was worth money.


Oh yes, it's worth money. See that price on the cover? Divide that by 2.
 
2010-03-02 06:31:27 PM  
Unfreakable: PowerSlacker: Did you click the link?

I know the link; it was originally posted in the first thread. But the link doesn't make that headline funny. Entertaining maybe, but not funny.


"I strenuously object..."
 
2010-03-02 06:36:31 PM  
SomeBrunette: The "Kramden" headline is just bah-rilliant!

thenkew
 
2010-03-02 06:46:22 PM  
Epiphany: We demand Drew posts his blog weekly!!!

We demand Drew posts his blog weakly!!!
We weakly demand Drew posts his blog!!!
We weekly demand Drew posts his blog!!!
We blog Drew demand his posts weekly!!!
Drew posts his blog demand weekly we!!!
 
2010-03-02 07:31:45 PM  
filth: Epiphany: We demand Drew posts his blog weekly!!!

We demand Drew posts his blog weakly!!!
We weakly demand Drew posts his blog!!!
We weekly demand Drew posts his blog!!!
We blog Drew demand his posts weekly!!!
Drew posts his blog demand weekly we!!!


YEAH! WHO'S WITH US!?!?!
 
2010-03-02 09:07:41 PM  
Joelogon: "I strenuously object..."

Heh, I thought that the link was pretty funny. But that's one of those headlines that's only funny in context. And if it's only funny in context of the linked story, it's not good enough for our weekly roundup.
 
2010-03-02 10:35:35 PM  
Kramden: Sink to the flowing pun.
Headline of the year candidate.
 
2010-03-02 11:25:56 PM  
noone votes for the star trek one? you guys suck!
 
2010-03-02 11:47:50 PM  
Thought I was a shoe in for my Ray Brower headline, but I guess not.


Oh well...HOTY voting nominated

/because I will nominate it
//bwahahahaaAAAA!
 
2010-03-03 08:05:53 AM  
one of these days i'm gonna get the Kramden headline.
 
2010-03-04 12:33:39 PM  
kagemaru026: one of these days i'm gonna get the Kramden headline.

Ralph Kramden was Jackie Gleason's character on They Honeymooners. The character was a bus driver.
 
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