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(Wired)   The 10 geekiest ways to hide your age, get kicked in the nuts   (wired.com) divider line 47
    More: Stupid, Benjamin Button, prime numbers, martians, Vulcans, kicked in the nuts, atomic numbers, I'm wejmaH  
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16730 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Feb 2010 at 3:17 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-02-26 02:15:14 AM
I see Cracked writers have infested nearly every corner of the internet, now.
 
2010-02-26 02:17:27 AM
That cake looks like a cushion with a terrible case of dysentery.
 
2010-02-26 02:41:41 AM
i thought the headline was suggesting that getting kicked in the nuts was a great way to hide your age. I was thinking, I guess...but is it really worth it?
 
2010-02-26 03:56:47 AM
Hell, I'm almost 15h!
 
2010-02-26 04:07:56 AM
I'm 561 Millennium Falcon Kessel Runs old.

/Get off my parsec
 
2010-02-26 04:09:53 AM
Oh HELL yes!!

...I'm just over 18 in Martian years. I am *so* gonna be using that from now on.


/and I can legally do Martian porn now
 
2010-02-26 05:36:05 AM
relaxitsjustme: I'm 561 Millennium Falcon Kessel Runs old.

/Get off my parsec


parsec is a unit of distance not time
 
Poe
2010-02-26 06:22:37 AM
I wish I could show my true age. I must have a great baby-face: 27, 6'3, and just got carded this week at Home Depot for a can of spray paint. I was asked if it was my first time voting a few weeks back with the Scott Brown election, and I had to show ID to stop my champagne from being snatched away by a waiter at my little sisters wedding.

It will be great when I am in my 50's, but for now it sucks.
 
2010-02-26 06:47:51 AM
0x027 baby!
 
2010-02-26 07:15:52 AM
Cool Story Bro Time: I had a friend from Poland who could convert from Base 10 to Hex in his head. He would do this to tell me how fast he was driving (which was always entirely too fast). "We go now 7A kilometers per hour!"

/almost kicked him in the nuts when he did that on a residential street
 
2010-02-26 07:26:32 AM
Or you can contribute to SENS and actually stop aging?
/I'm not holding my breath but I can dream
 
2010-02-26 08:05:53 AM
I like the periodic table idea/
 
2010-02-26 08:39:10 AM
I am 1F going on 20. In hex, you'll be able to trust me for another 16 years, but in base 10, I'm afraid I cannot be trusted in only a few more months.

//I'm copper going on zinc.
 
2010-02-26 08:47:01 AM
t3knomanser: 1F going on 20

Crap, no I'm not. Goddammit, I need coffee and the ability to subtract 2 and 3 from 32. 1D going on 1E.

//I have 1D in KNO at this hour of the morning. Each cup of coffee adds another D.
 
2010-02-26 09:10:07 AM
Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: I am FOUR years old!

5
 
2010-02-26 09:45:10 AM
t3knomanser: I am 1F going on 20. In hex, you'll be able to trust me for another 16 years, but in base 10, I'm afraid I cannot be trusted in only a few more months.

//I'm copper going on zinc.


You're conversion is off... but we're in the same boat... 1D going on 1E...

//totally using the periodic table once I turn Krypton though
 
2010-02-26 09:52:23 AM
I'm ashamed to admit that I've been quoting my age in hex for several years now. I just tuned twenty-bee last week.

/used to sight-read telemetry data files in hex
 
2010-02-26 10:09:09 AM
Cagey B: That cake looks like a cushion with a terrible case of dysentery.
 
2010-02-26 10:41:02 AM
People already think I'm younger than my age, so I really don't care.

/helps that I still look like I'm 16
 
2010-02-26 11:26:05 AM
Great I have a birthday on Tuesday, but I'm only turning 25 so I don't have to lie.
 
2010-02-26 11:26:33 AM
0x10 is legal in tx
 
2010-02-26 11:33:14 AM
I'm gallium.

I think I'll tell my girlfriends daughter this. Maybe she'll be intruiged and I can spin it into a lesson on the periodic table.

/she's not a normal kid
//loved the telescope I got her
///6th birthday
 
2010-02-26 11:47:47 AM
If you dress up in geeky ways, you'll look younger than you appear.

Until you don't.

Then you transcend pathetic.
 
2010-02-26 11:49:38 AM
I'm as old as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth.
 
2010-02-26 12:04:33 PM
I'm 42 and I don't care who knows it.
 
2010-02-26 12:20:17 PM
they should change the name of the article to "10 Boring Ways to Hide Your Age"
 
2010-02-26 12:32:37 PM
I'm all Iron baby.

///I make sure to stay away from Oxygen
//rust=pedobear
 
2010-02-26 12:37:24 PM
AnotherDisillusionedCollegeStudent: If you dress up in geeky ways, you'll look younger than you appear.

Until you don't.

Then you transcend pathetic.


I don't care what you say. Plaid and camo are the height of fashion, forever, the end.

/ people keep out of your personal space if you look like a psychotic hobo
// muttering helps too
///gesticulating wildly helps even more
 
2010-02-26 01:18:59 PM

R.A.Danny


I'm 42 and I don't care who knows it.


You're (6 x 9) years old. Neat.
 
2010-02-26 01:21:02 PM
yogaFLAME: I see Cracked writers have infested nearly every corner of the internet, now.

Nah. Most of Cracked's stuff is funny, IMO. These are dumb as hell. I'd say these are all good ways to get kicked in the nuts, but subs beat me to it.
 
2010-02-26 01:28:07 PM
"Two plus two is f-f-f-f... ten. ...in base four; I'm fine!"
 
kth
2010-02-26 01:52:13 PM
Felis_Panthera: t3knomanser: I am 1F going on 20. In hex, you'll be able to trust me for another 16 years, but in base 10, I'm afraid I cannot be trusted in only a few more months.

//I'm copper going on zinc.

You're conversion is off... but we're in the same boat... 1D going on 1E...

//totally using the periodic table once I turn Krypton though


damn, just missed Krypton.

The boyfriend is Silver though.
 
2010-02-26 02:25:05 PM
kth: Felis_Panthera: t3knomanser: I am 1F going on 20. In hex, you'll be able to trust me for another 16 years, but in base 10, I'm afraid I cannot be trusted in only a few more months.

//I'm copper going on zinc.

You're conversion is off... but we're in the same boat... 1D going on 1E...

//totally using the periodic table once I turn Krypton though

damn, just missed Krypton.

The boyfriend is Silver though.


I may revise that... I just realized that Arsenic is just a few years away :)
 
2010-02-26 02:49:12 PM
SWEEET I get to turn Iron next year. I'm currently Chromium going on Manganese. I like the periodic table birthday one.

/Also about to turn 19 in hex. Still can't drink hex alcohol..
 
2010-02-26 03:05:21 PM
I had a friend who anguishing about turning 40. When I told her that was 28 in hex, she was very happy. She didn't understand anything about I said other than for some reason she could say she was 28. In hindsight, I could have had a lot more fun with that at her expense.
 
2010-02-26 03:13:40 PM
bighairyguy: I had a friend who anguishing about turning 40. When I told her that was 28 in hex, she was very happy. She didn't understand anything about I said other than for some reason she could say she was 28. In hindsight, I could have had a lot more fun with that at her expense.

You should borrow base 10 money from here and pay back in hex.
 
2010-02-26 03:22:07 PM
I'm silver but living in the copper state.
 
2010-02-26 03:23:28 PM
I will be Gold in June... I didn't say which June.
 
2010-02-26 03:29:26 PM
If you think this list is funny, you don't have to worry. You don't have any friends that would ask you your age anyway. In fact, you don't have any friends, period.
 
2010-02-26 03:41:31 PM
Vanadium... going on Chromium
 
2010-02-26 04:43:45 PM
I am 42 and simply tell people that I am "The Answer".
 
2010-02-26 05:02:17 PM
Hiding your age? The geek is not vain like normal people!
And the geek also knows that age means nothing since time passes faster the older you get.

So, a real geek would measure perceived lifetime!
The perveived lifetime is usually derived like this:

As time seems to pass faster the older you get, 1 year is no longer perceived to last 1 year, but only may 1/n of a year where n is your "normal" age.
Next, you have to choose an age at which 1 year really lasts 1 year. The standard age used is 20, thus 1 year will seem longer when you're younger than 20 and shorter when you are older.
Thus the perceived span of 1 year is 20/n.

If you want to know how much of your life has already passed, you just need to integrate 20/n from 1 to your age:

Perceived lifetime: 20ln n

So, I'm actually 72.
And I feel it.
Get of my lawn!
 
2010-02-26 05:04:16 PM
I'm still not old enough to buy ultra-porn :(
 
2010-02-26 07:08:05 PM
Wow, that was the lamest article i've read in a long long time.
 
2010-02-26 07:31:18 PM
Stoopid article is Stoopid
 
2010-02-26 08:14:50 PM
I lie about my age. Nothing particularly unusual about that. Quite a lot of people do.

However, I am very inconsistent with my lies. I'll claim to be any age from within a 20 or 25 year gap at any time. The nice part of it is that now I don't even know how old I really am.

Sadly, I am led to believe that that is a sign of ageing.
 
2010-02-27 03:16:39 AM
I LOLed at "the cake is a lie." Other than that, yeah, pretty lame.

...Please tell me I'm not the only one young/geeky enough to get that...
 
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