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(via Obscure Store)   Utah Supreme Court forbids grabbing and shaking your crotch in public   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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2138 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2001 at 11:52 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

55 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-09-26 11:55:55 AM  
How about grabbing and shaking someone else's?
2001-09-26 11:58:15 AM  
What are all the baseball players going to do now?
O wait, do they have Baseball in UTAH?
2001-09-26 11:58:21 AM  
Can you still grab boobies?
2001-09-26 12:00:53 PM  
Here's what I have to say to that:

* Froggy grabs his crotch in this public forum
* Froggy shakes said crotch in the face of the Utah Supreme Court

Lick it, biatches.
2001-09-26 12:04:19 PM  
Where's the ACLU when you REALLY need them?
2001-09-26 12:06:19 PM  
I hate pubic officials.
2001-09-26 12:08:16 PM  
God I look forward to the day that America can tow Utah out into the ocean somewhere, and sink it.
2001-09-26 12:13:36 PM  
utahns ? what the fark kind of word is that?
2001-09-26 12:14:50 PM  
Note to self: cancel trip to Utah. Go someplace more conducive to the Shogo Yahagi lifestyle.
2001-09-26 12:17:19 PM  
That wacky Utah.
2001-09-26 12:21:55 PM  
How did the Taleban get to Utah?
2001-09-26 12:22:25 PM  
The Utah Supreme Court can grab and shake my ass for all I care.
2001-09-26 12:22:46 PM  
Now wait a minute, the boy did something offensive, it is time we make people accountable for offending others. You have freedom of speech, but you have to be careful what you do with it. The boy knew what he was doing was offensive and did it again while laughing, let him pay the price for being rude.
2001-09-26 12:24:26 PM  
Now we know why they don't have Major League baseball in Utah.
2001-09-26 12:32:48 PM  
Michael Jackson will have to rethink his scheduled tour to Utah. I suppose that Marilyn Manson will have to do the same...
2001-09-26 12:33:24 PM  
Stick him in jail, and see how he likes it when Bubba grabs his crotch.
2001-09-26 12:38:40 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-09-26 12:49:36 PM  
Can you still shake at the urinal?
2001-09-26 12:49:54 PM  
Wait a minute it's grabbing and shaking, so can you grab but not shake or can you just shake and not grab?

Next things to go.
Walking and chewing gum.
Patting head while rubbing stomach.
2001-09-26 12:57:18 PM  
State law prohibits an act of sexual intercourse, exposure of genitals, public masturbation, voyeurism or "any other act of lewdness"

Wow they just listed 90% of the things I type in
2001-09-26 01:01:53 PM  
Why do people think they have a "right" to not be offended?
2001-09-26 01:04:37 PM  
I guess you can't fart in Utah either....
2001-09-26 01:10:40 PM  
That's so retarded. So if my big black manly dick flopped out of my boxers and started rubbing on my zipper I couldn't adjust myself?

Second thought was, if she was so offended why did she a) continue to look and b)drive in for a closer look? \

So if I find fat women wearing spandex offensive can I get them thrown in jail or fined?

-fark a Duckk
2001-09-26 01:11:08 PM  
Mole4hire: it's not a right, it's just the law. vote in someone who will appoint justices who will overturn the law if you prefer. i don't care; i never plan on visiting Utah.
2001-09-26 01:24:21 PM  
What about mildly agitating your crotch or intentionally whisking your crotch? And what about just merely tactilely acknowledging your crotch?
2001-09-26 01:26:10 PM  
Shmee has a good question. I guess it's just a drip-dry state.
2001-09-26 01:27:52 PM  
i take it i'm no longer welcome in utah.
2001-09-26 01:29:31 PM  
What about "twiddling" your crotch?

What if your crotch breaks out in the most fiery itch you've ever experienced?

2001-09-26 02:00:40 PM  
Ah, the "handmaiden" of correctness. We MUST be protected from being offended! But actions are less evil than thoughts and ideas, let alone stupidity. So goes the logic. Feh!

Thank you, Big Government.
2001-09-26 02:32:12 PM  
If i see the utah swim team, can i grab myself then? or is still illegal???
2001-09-26 02:41:09 PM  
I hope no one from Brooklyn gets in a fight in Utah any time soon.
2001-09-26 02:43:38 PM  
the list grows.... 101 reasons why no sane human being would want to go to Utah.
2001-09-26 03:33:11 PM  
Mme.Mersault - what beautiful poetry you have given us all.

Actually, when one's penis is extremely large, one cannot help the natural up-and-down bobbing rhythym that takes place while walking. This law is an outrage. Oren Snatch is a god damn cocksucker.

-he who stacks pork
2001-09-26 03:41:58 PM  
Can't we all just wish-that-this-here-law-was-ex-post-facto-
anthemn-singin'-and-crotch-grabbbin'-at-the-ball-park along?
2001-09-26 03:54:21 PM  
I just *love* my state!

/me tries to remain sane until he can get the fark out of here...
2001-09-26 04:13:41 PM  
I'm enjoying the state I'm in too.

Is that a felony or misdemenor?

Officer, I had just realized that I had neglected to zip up my pants, and was fixing it when this Peeping Tom showed up.
2001-09-26 05:34:30 PM  
2001-09-26 05:38:19 PM  
A waste of legal process.

If somebody did this at me I would assume he is showing me where he wants me to kick him.
2001-09-26 06:23:26 PM  
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack keep your hands,
off your Utah dick.

Alas the boy,
rubbed his crotch and his weiner,
and now he's been busted,
for a weiner misdemeanor.

Sleep well.

2001-09-26 07:03:00 PM  
Leopold: You speak out of experience? Hence the last name of Porkstacker, I presume...
2001-09-26 07:23:03 PM  
I will not say anything more since actions speak louder than words. *grabs crotch and shakes it up and down*
2001-09-26 07:47:38 PM  
Oh come on. Do you REALLY need to grab your crotch in public? Never.
2001-09-26 07:47:42 PM  
Boot to the head*.

(*the little one)
2001-09-26 10:42:23 PM  
Whose head? The grabber?
2001-09-26 11:18:36 PM  
Some idiots think they can be as in-your-face rude as they want provided their actions are not technically illegal.
Guess what. If somebody starts playing me for their own entertainment, they might find that technicalities don't mean shiat when you've gotten the Redwing in the jimmies.
2001-09-26 11:26:34 PM  
"Assistant Attorney General Karen Stewart Klucznik said the state was pleased with the high court's decision. "It appropriately safeguards people from this type of intentionally threatening behavior," she said."

Um... Threatening behavior??? How is this threatening? OH..... I know... She had the urge to perform demonic sex acts in the parking lot with the little idjit, her morals were threatened.

This protects stupid people who can't look the other way when someone is acting "a fool". More laws to protect stupid people, that's exactly what we need. We need, more easily offended, uppity, law suit happy, holier than thou, adle brained, obnoxious sheep in this world. It makes it a better place for people to live. -Hrumph-
2001-09-26 11:29:16 PM  
And yes, she shoulda kicked the little turd in the nutz for being an idiot in public. I just hate stupid laws.
2001-09-26 11:29:33 PM  
Not "threatening", just rude, crude, crass and obnoxious.
2001-09-26 11:45:52 PM  
[image from images too old to be available]

*sigh* its a sad day in the world when a human being can't walk about in public grabbing his wang...
2001-09-27 12:42:40 AM  
Conan O'Brian just mentioned this and made a joke similar to Simpman76's comment.
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