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(pittsbrugh channel)   Like your wife, GM to stop offering Hummers   (thepittsburghchannel.com) divider line 149
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7678 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2010 at 8:24 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-02-24 05:30:08 PM  
See that's what happens when you marry them!!

Damn you Obama....
 
2010-02-24 05:47:14 PM  
GM biz dev people couldn't close a deal selling free air conditioning in an equatorial zone. The couldn't close a deal selling free diamonds to Elizabeth Taylor. The could not close a deal SELLING FREE DRUGS TO AMY WINEHOUSE.

Replacing the whole lot with an office filled with dead herring would probably work better.
 
2010-02-24 05:52:21 PM  
vossiewulf:

Replacing the whole lot with an office filled with dead herring would probably work better.




Yeah, but once the herring started to rot the Swedes would show up, and bring their socialism.
 
2010-02-24 05:52:58 PM  
Not my wife, please!

(ahem)
 
2010-02-24 06:24:46 PM  
To everybody, or just me?
 
2010-02-24 06:34:55 PM  
I resent that headline. To "stop" would imply that she had "started" in the first place.

/Life sucks
//Then you get married, and it Never Sucks Again
 
2010-02-24 07:28:28 PM  
I'll be honest....if I were a multi-millionaire, I'd buy one in a heartbeat.

/Maybe a yellow one.
//That looks like a school bus on steroids.
 
2010-02-24 08:25:49 PM  
Judging by teh headline, subby has obviously never been married.
 
2010-02-24 08:26:07 PM  
Speak for yourself, subby.
 
2010-02-24 08:27:46 PM  
vossiewulf: GM biz dev people couldn't close a deal selling free air conditioning in an equatorial zone. The couldn't close a deal selling free diamonds to Elizabeth Taylor. The could not close a deal SELLING FREE DRUGS TO AMY WINEHOUSE.

Selling free stuff is called "giving".
 
2010-02-24 08:29:09 PM  
"It's going to be tough for the city of Shreveport," Ebey said. "I wish there was more of a public outcry. This place will be missed once it eventually closes. It provides good-paying, union jobs."

The rest of the people in town already lost their $9 an hour jobs, so I wouldn't expect too much sympathy.
 
2010-02-24 08:31:55 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Would have to include the guns...
"Gosh I love rednecks..."
 
2010-02-24 08:32:03 PM  
GM was offering blowjobs?
 
2010-02-24 08:34:21 PM  
"Fritz Henderson is back at GM, for $3,000 an hour"

Headline at FORTUNE Magazine
 
2010-02-24 08:34:35 PM  
MobiusStripJoint: GM was offering blowjobs?

Union fought hard for those benefits...
 
2010-02-24 08:36:06 PM  
vossiewulf: GM biz dev people couldn't close a deal selling free air conditioning an office filled with dead herring in an equatorial zone. The couldn't close a deal selling free diamonds an office filled with dead herring to Elizabeth Taylor. The could not close a deal SELLING FREE DRUGS an office filled with dead herring TO AMY WINEHOUSE.

Replacing the whole lot with an office filled with dead herring would probably work better.


Yeah it kind of does, I guess
 
2010-02-24 08:37:13 PM  
It's about freaking time. I hate those goddamn things. They all needed a vanity plate that said F*CK YOU AMERICA!!!!! considering how worthless they were.
 
2010-02-24 08:38:01 PM  
too bad,what will the douchies buy now?
seriously, unless you do extreme offroading,what does anyone need one for? apparently,thier sales werent enough to keep them in business,so sayonara penis extension.
 
2010-02-24 08:40:05 PM  
OW, Subby; my wife just hit me in the back of the head.

// that headline was worth a good belly laugh
 
2010-02-24 08:42:01 PM  
that's why she's the ex...
 
2010-02-24 08:42:02 PM  
They're ugly, they suck gas like my insane sister sucks beer and weed, and their only useful function is as a billboard reading "WARNING: Driver is an egocentric dbag."

Good riddance.
 
2010-02-24 08:45:27 PM  
The_Sponge: I'll be honest....if I were a multi-millionaire, I'd buy one in a heartbeat.

/Maybe a yellow one.
//That looks like a school bus on steroids.


I know lots of multi-millionaires. Not one of them has a Hummer. Zero. Range Rovers, yes. Aston Martins, yes. Cayennes, Volvos, Audis yes yes yes. Prius's, yes. Even some minivans. ZERO HUMMERS.
 
2010-02-24 08:45:37 PM  
porterm: too bad,what will the douchies buy now?
seriously, unless you do extreme offroading,what does anyone need one for? apparently,thier sales werent enough to keep them in business,so sayonara penis extension.


BMW's like usual I would guess.

Also 16 mpg? Jesus, my old 2000 full size Ford E-150 van with the V-8 got atleast 18 mpg.

Now I drive a Scion Xb, it's nice that they now make a comfortable car for people taller than 5'10". For the longest time I drove things like full size vans cause they were the only vehicle four regular sized adults could fit in comfortably.

That and the old Mitsubishi 89 ls Mini-van. Incredible amounts of room for everyone in that old gray breadbox. Plus the engine compartment could be used as a footrest for the people in the back seats. To bad no repair shop was ever willing to try to fix it twice or I might still have it.
 
2010-02-24 08:46:10 PM  
I used to live near a police precinct. There was a small side street nearby. It was a narrow street, no room for parking, and a sign saying you couldn't park there. Of course the cops all parked on the street, with one wheel up on the curb, and a sign in the dash saying they worked there. None of them had lights or looked like they were official police vehicles. Of course one of them was a hummer, probably something a cop picked up cheap after it was taken from a drug dealer. You could barely get a mini cooper around it and because of the wheel on the curb, you probably wouldn't be able to get by on the sidewalk with a wheelchair.
 
2010-02-24 08:47:51 PM  
mossberg: I know lots of multi-millionaires. Not one of them has a Hummer. Zero. Range Rovers, yes. Aston Martins, yes. Cayennes, Volvos, Audis yes yes yes. Prius's, yes. Even some minivans. ZERO HUMMERS.

Everyone I've ever personally known who drives one is either a terminal middle-management dweeb or a soccer mom permanently stranded in HR... but then, I more or less repeat myself.

And school bus yellow... god. Just... WTF. It's not already huge and ugly enough, let's paint it the same color as my kid's plastic Tonka truck! GROW UP ALREADY.
 
2010-02-24 08:47:57 PM  
Tali: They're ugly, they suck gas like my insane sister sucks beer and weed, and their only useful function is as a billboard reading "WARNING: Driver is an egocentric dbag."

Good riddance.


Tell us more about your sister.
 
2010-02-24 08:48:12 PM  
She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

/canyonero
//HYAAH!!

oh, and

"What kind of gas mileage does this thing get?"
"One mpg highway. Zero, city."
 
2010-02-24 08:48:35 PM  
Korzine: porterm: too bad,what will the douchies buy now?
seriously, unless you do extreme offroading,what does anyone need one for? apparently,thier sales werent enough to keep them in business,so sayonara penis extension.

BMW's like usual I would guess.

Also 16 mpg? Jesus, my old 2000 full size Ford E-150 van with the V-8 got atleast 18 mpg.

Now I drive a Scion Xb, it's nice that they now make a comfortable car for people taller than 5'10". For the longest time I drove things like full size vans cause they were the only vehicle four regular sized adults could fit in comfortably.

That and the old Mitsubishi 89 ls Mini-van. Incredible amounts of room for everyone in that old gray breadbox. Plus the engine compartment could be used as a footrest for the people in the back seats. To bad no repair shop was ever willing to try to fix it twice or I might still have it.


you used to drive a van? was this yours?

static.pyzam.com

btw, the douchemobile will revert to the escalade or navigator
 
2010-02-24 08:49:05 PM  
Tali:
their only useful function is as a billboard reading "WARNING: Driver is an egocentric dbag.

One of my favorite moments of entertaining IRL face-palmage was bicycling through a crowded parking lot and witnessing a woman driving a gunmetal-coloured Hummer (through a crowded parking lot, remember) with one hand on the steering wheel, one hand holding her cell phone to her ear...

... and a small child riding in the front passenger seat. Considering how well Hummers fare in crashes I wouldn't put even odds on the poor kid's neck surviving an airbag deployment...
 
2010-02-24 08:51:53 PM  
Boners McNasty: Tali: They're ugly, they suck gas like my insane sister sucks beer and weed, and their only useful function is as a billboard reading "WARNING: Driver is an egocentric dbag."

Good riddance.

Tell us more about your sister.


Lemme put it this way. I'm tubby and I know it, because I like chocolate more than I like the gym. No false modesty here, no hurt feelings if ya call me fat.

Look at my profile pic... she's near to twice my size, dishwater blonde, and has what I can only guess is permanent PMS, because she's a biatch on wheels who only calls me when she wants money, she's drunk and pissed off at 3am (which is WAY TOO DAMN OFTEN and has led me to change my number more than once), or someone in the family has died.
 
2010-02-24 08:53:24 PM  
You mean my EX damn wife.
 
2010-02-24 08:55:19 PM  
I was visiting some friends in their house near a lake. Apparently I'd missed some commotion earlier in the day. Some parents with more money than sense gave their teenage son an old school Hummer, not an H2, for his birthday. Feel free to make fun of that last sentence. Anyway, the kid was trying to impress his friends and drove the thing into the lake. He thought they could do that. I guess his other present that day was getting heavy machinery rented for his birthday party.
 
2010-02-24 08:56:38 PM  
Tali:
Look at my profile pic... she's near to twice my size, dishwater blonde, and has what I can only guess is permanent PMS, because she's a biatch on wheels....


So what you're saying is, she's probably available - and can drive me around?
 
2010-02-24 08:56:39 PM  
The_Sponge: I'll be honest....if I were a multi-millionaire, I'd buy one in a heartbeat.

/Maybe a yellow one.
//That looks like a school bus on steroids.


Frankly I'm surprised at your blatant racism...

www.guzer.com
 
2010-02-24 08:58:22 PM  
kmmontandon: vossiewulf:

Replacing the whole lot with an office filled with dead herring would probably work better.



Yeah, but once the herring started to rot the Swedes would show up, and bring their socialism.


And they'd lye.
 
2010-02-24 08:59:09 PM  
gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net

/oblig.
 
2010-02-24 08:59:22 PM  
elev8meL8r: Tali:
Look at my profile pic... she's near to twice my size, dishwater blonde, and has what I can only guess is permanent PMS, because she's a biatch on wheels....

So what you're saying is, she's probably available - and can drive me around?


Yeah, probably. I could hook you up, it'll stop me from getting the 3am drunk-dials for a while... but it might also vastly increase the chances of you showing up and splitting my skull with an axe. ;)
 
2010-02-24 09:01:27 PM  
Plus, man, this is Florida. Do you REALLY want to get tangled up with a psycho Floridian? That's a good way to end up FL-tagged and greenlit on the front pa... oh. I see what you're trying to do there.
 
2010-02-24 09:02:26 PM  
I'm glad to see Hummer finally close its doors. That company and the products it produced are relics of a decadent era. The market has spoken.
 
2010-02-24 09:03:09 PM  
Subby, you belong in the thread two down "The funniest headline fails of all time. OF ALL TIME"
 
2010-02-24 09:03:33 PM  
I would have commented earlier but my wife was giving me a hummer.

/Seriously
 
2010-02-24 09:06:22 PM  
Tali: Plus, man, this is Florida. Do you REALLY want to get tangled up with a psycho Floridian? That's a good way to end up FL-tagged and greenlit on the front pa... oh. I see what you're trying to do there.

Given the time difference, those 3 AM drunk-dials are still before my bedtime. I'm in AZ, so that's 2000 miles of I-10 protecting me from crazy.

Unless you think she'd get hopped up on a case of Frappucinos, put on her diaper, and beeline it all the way here.
 
2010-02-24 09:06:52 PM  
But your mom still does, right, subby?

/Been awhile since we hooked up.....
 
2010-02-24 09:07:04 PM  
Like your wife, GM to stop offering Hummers

And unlike your mom.

\Oblig
 
2010-02-24 09:08:20 PM  
that's why she's the ex...

just passing through

~perfect ... absolutely perfect
 
2010-02-24 09:08:34 PM  
The headline stings with the sharp slap of reality, truthmitter.
 
2010-02-24 09:09:24 PM  
Whitey Bear: I would have commented earlier but my wife was giving me a hummer.

/Seriously


Me too...
/your wife bites too much
 
2010-02-24 09:09:30 PM  
Gyrfalcon: It's about freaking time. I hate those goddamn things. They all needed a vanity plate that said F*CK YOU AMERICA!!!!! considering how worthless they were.

This. There is absolutely no need for such a vehicle unless you're in the military or living on a rocky mountain. Every time I see one I just assume the driver has a small penis and is compensating.
 
2010-02-24 09:10:44 PM  
MobiusStripJoint: GM was offering blowjobs?


Point02GPA: "Fritz Henderson is back at GM, for $3,000 an hour"

Headline at FORTUNE Magazine


That's an expensive blow job.
 
2010-02-24 09:10:51 PM  
porterm: too bad,what will the douchies buy now?
seriously, unless you do extreme offroading,what does anyone need one for? apparently,thier sales werent enough to keep them in business,so sayonara penis extension.


I thought they where used to sell houses, ya know realtors. Maybe that's what happened to em.
Around here all the little peens drive super jacked up F250's with giant tires and loud ass turbos. Must suck to drive those thing on pavement 99% of the time.
 
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