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(Some Guy)   Hundreds of thousands of people pay a fee to visit gigantic dark damp hole in Kentucky. Apparently my ex-wife is doing well   (wlky.com) divider line 77
    More: Amusing, Kentucky, divorces, caves, recreational activities, Mammoth Cave National Park, shadows, fees  
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16811 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2010 at 4:18 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-02-24 02:13:47 PM  
Yes, she is doing well and the fee is cheap. She must believe in quanity over quality.
 
2010-02-24 02:56:27 PM  
What an incredibly lame article. For more useful information on Mammoth Cave National Park, try here

/remember, kiddies, feed the rangers, not the wildlife.
 
2010-02-24 04:20:16 PM  
That was such an opportunity for "your mom"

-1
 
2010-02-24 04:20:38 PM  
TTIUWP , meh
 
2010-02-24 04:21:10 PM  
It's actually a pretty cool place. Went there with my Environmental Science class when I was a high school senior. Best part? Working our way to the back of the tour pack, and when everyone had moved on, we doubled back to Pulpit Rock and fired up a couple of doobies. Amazing how much a spliff lights up in a place like that...

Best. Field Trip. Evar.
 
2010-02-24 04:21:21 PM  
Fond memories of touring that as a kid. We also visited Oak Ridge during the same vacation.

/yes I understood E=mc2 as a 7-year-old
 
2010-02-24 04:22:26 PM  
I've lived in KY for 8 years now, and I still haven't done the cave. I'd really like to at some point.

Maybe I'll just go tour the cave under the Louisville Zoo and pretend.
 
2010-02-24 04:22:47 PM  
When did she move?
Last time I did saw her she was in Tennessee...
 
2010-02-24 04:22:53 PM  
Airius: That was such an opportunity for "your mom"

-1


Don't encourage the use of cliches. Ex-wife isn't much more original than "your mom," but at least it's not a standard Fark cliche that's been repeated a hundred million times.
 
2010-02-24 04:24:09 PM  
No way I'm going down there, man. Haddie'll get me.
 
2010-02-24 04:25:45 PM  
Subby should switch to lager, because clearly he's had enough bitter.
 
2010-02-24 04:27:12 PM  
Another vote for the coolness of the cave I go there at least once a year, and i usually hit Carter Caves as well. Great little trips.
 
2010-02-24 04:27:18 PM  
I loved Mammoth Cave. Good stuff.
 
2010-02-24 04:27:47 PM  
Inaditch: Don't encourage the use of cliches. Ex-wife isn't much more original than "your mom," but at least it's not a standard Fark cliche that's been repeated a hundred million times.

You know what else has been repeated a hundred million times?
 
2010-02-24 04:30:43 PM  
Subby's on a roll today.
 
2010-02-24 04:30:48 PM  
Mammoth Cave = pretty much my favorite place in the state. I went there all the time in high school. Even when I didn't want to pay for the cave tours, the self-guided tour was free and fun, and the hiking trails were great. If you live anywhere nearby and haven't been, you definitely ought to.
 
2010-02-24 04:31:33 PM  
Inaditch:

-1

Don't encourage the use of cliches. Ex-wife isn't much more original than "your mom," but at least it's not a standard Fark cliche that's been repeated a hundred million times.


Oh yawn, your suggestion to avoid cliches is such a cliche.
 
2010-02-24 04:32:14 PM  
Cool Mammoth Cave fact: It's where the first species of Eyeless Fish were discovered.

Cool Mammoth Cave fact that will piss off racists: By a black guy.
 
2010-02-24 04:32:38 PM  
Inaditch: repeated a hundred million times

Like your mom, when the rent's due?
 
2010-02-24 04:34:38 PM  
When I was a kid our YMCA summer camp group camped out in there. I remember them turning off the lights, and it was the first time I had ever experienced true darkness, I could not tell if my eyes were open or closed.

Course, I kept them closed. Before we went to bed they told us a horrifying ghost story about the cave. Spent the entire night curled in a ball in my sleeping bag, having to take the worst piss of my life.
 
2010-02-24 04:35:22 PM  
your ex-wife is a well
 
2010-02-24 04:37:18 PM  
+1
 
2010-02-24 04:38:19 PM  
PirateKing: I've lived in KY for 8 years now, and I still haven't done the cave. I'd really like to at some point.

Dude! I've driven 1600km to do the Wild Cave Tour there. That's 1000 miles. Each way. In a long weekend. Twice.

Go there. Go there now.
 
2010-02-24 04:39:08 PM  
TemperedEdge: Cool Mammoth Cave fact: It's where the first species of Eyeless Fish were discovered.

Cool Mammoth Cave fact that will piss off racists: By a black guy.


Stephen Bishop, FTW!
 
2010-02-24 04:39:50 PM  
nicedeb.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-02-24 04:39:56 PM  
But most of the cave is dry. That's why it's so big. I visited the cave a few months ago and we had a lighting system failure midway through the tour, so the guides had to pull out emergency gas lanterns. I thought the whole experience was much better because of it. See it kind of like the first explorers saw it, etc.
 
2010-02-24 04:40:13 PM  
mexicymru: Stephen Bishop, FTW!

So, you're Latino/Welsh? Nifty!
 
2010-02-24 04:43:56 PM  
A few years ago I found myself smack dab in the middle of a sexual dryspell as it were. Being in a very low and lonely place and having my prayers to God go unanswered night after night for a year, I turned to the only other source i could think of that would here my prayers.

Much to my surprise he heard my prayers and the dark lord of the pit satan himself visited me during the 13th hour in the middle of the night.

"You, chaste without choice, pure without knowledge, why do you summon me", he asked.

"Old Scratch", I proclaimed, "I seek only that which I desire to fill the needs of the flesh."

He knew me, soul to bones and knew i had been without. He laughed a terrible laugh.

"You summon me for a paultry favor of the flesh", he scoffed, "So be it, i will grant your wish, but not without price."

I knew then what he wanted. My Soul. He produced a quill and stabbed my arm to draw the blood. Then opened a blackened and charred leathery book. I signed my name, and snapped the book closed and laughed mercilessly.

"I give you my soul for eternity, now please show me my super model", I pleaded.

The devil laughed once more and exclaimed, "Pitiful mortal, I've owned your soul for a very long time. It is not eternity i am worried about. It is the pleasure of seeing your mortal body amongst the damned in the deepest pit of hell, the ever burning lake of fire."

"I don't understand", I said bewildered.

"You have a choice my dear boy. You can end your dryspell and spend the night with Subby's ex-wife, or suffer and spend one night as a mortal in the lake of fire", he said grinning a gnarled and toothy grin.

Needless to say that night could have gone horribly bad for me, but I broke down, i faultered, i could not bare to suffer that wich is most feared. I chose to spend the night in hell, for it was less crowded and less humid...
 
2010-02-24 04:47:17 PM  
Ranger Joe: What an incredibly lame article.

Probably greenlit due to hilarious headline.
 
2010-02-24 04:47:24 PM  
TemperedEdge: Cool Mammoth Cave fact: It's where the first species of Eyeless Fish were discovered.

Cool Mammoth Cave fact that will piss off racists: By a black guy.


There are no racist black people, or racists that are fine with black people but don't like some other race?
 
2010-02-24 04:48:51 PM  
well played sir...
 
2010-02-24 04:50:01 PM  
Farker1138: But most of the cave is dry. That's why it's so big. I visited the cave a few months ago and we had a lighting system failure midway through the tour, so the guides had to pull out emergency gas lanterns. I thought the whole experience was much better because of it. See it kind of like the first explorers saw it, etc.

If you ever go again, do the 6 hour, 4.5 mile Wild Cave Tour *. You navigate with a couple of guides using only headlamps.

Then while you're all taking a breather, they get you to turn out your lights - while 300 feet underground.

Not only is it pitch black, it's also deathly silent. After a few moments, you start hearing the blood running through your ears. It's a remarkable experience in itself.

* Unless you're a tubby.
 
2010-02-24 04:51:11 PM  
JesseL: TemperedEdge: Cool Mammoth Cave fact: It's where the first species of Eyeless Fish were discovered.

Cool Mammoth Cave fact that will piss off racists: By a black guy.

There are no racist black people, or racists that are fine with black people but don't like some other race?


Oh my god, farking quit this shiat already. This thread is about an awesome farking cave.
 
2010-02-24 04:52:52 PM  
Jackson Herring: Oh my god, farking quit this shiat already. This thread is about an awesome farking cave.

It is an awesome cave, but damn... get over yourself.
 
2010-02-24 04:53:54 PM  
It's also Drew's secret beer cellar.
 
2010-02-24 04:57:26 PM  
neat caves

/obligatory spelunking joke goes here
 
2010-02-24 05:00:15 PM  
My second grade teacher was bat-shiat crazy. She told us there was a *live* mammoth in Mammoth Cave. Nothing I saw in there could make up for the disappointment.

/also told us a bunch of racist shiat about blacks and Japanese.
//Tried to fail one kid because his fingernails were dirty. She said he wasn't emotionally ready for third grade.
///That was the year they "convinced" her to retire.
 
2010-02-24 05:00:38 PM  
JesseL: get over yourself.

Yeah far be it from me to criticize people who try to turn a thread about a cave into another racism flame war.
 
2010-02-24 05:04:33 PM  
WrestlerManager: My second grade teacher was bat-shiat crazy. She told us there was a *live* mammoth in Mammoth Cave. Nothing I saw in there could make up for the disappointment.

/also told us a bunch of racist shiat about blacks and Japanese.
//Tried to fail one kid because his fingernails were dirty. She said he wasn't emotionally ready for third grade.
///That was the year they "convinced" her to retire.


From the sound of it the teacher wasn't emotionally ready for 3rd grade either.

/wishes there really were a live mammoth there
 
2010-02-24 05:04:44 PM  
Fark cliche that's been repeated a hundred million times.

havent I told you thousands of times not to exaggerate like that????
 
2010-02-24 05:08:00 PM  
Sad to say but this deep, dark hole is by far the best thing in the state.



Got the t-shirt.
 
2010-02-24 05:10:04 PM  
numbone: Sad to say but this deep, dark hole is by far the best thing in the state.



Got the t-shirt.


No Creation Museum lulz for you?
 
2010-02-24 05:16:31 PM  
Jackson Herring: Yeah far be it from me to criticize people who try to turn a thread about a cave into another racism flame war.

I wasn't trying to turn anything into a flame war, just thought there were some strange implications is the post I quoted.

If anyone seems eager to jump into a flame war, it's you. I'm done here.
 
2010-02-24 05:26:37 PM  
So you were married to her, too, subby?

(*sigh*)

I'm not surprised.
 
2010-02-24 05:27:07 PM  
Kentucky?

I didn't know Drew was divorced.

pleeeaase nooooo not the banhammer!
 
2010-02-24 05:41:07 PM  
trappedspirit: your ex-wife is a well

"... and it's deep, too!"
 
2010-02-24 05:43:08 PM  
Worth the cave walk.

Liked Wind Cave (National Park, South Dakota) better; boxwork formations were cool. It does suck, but only when the barometric pressure is rising.
 
2010-02-24 05:49:38 PM  
mexicymru:
If you ever go again, do the 6 hour, 4.5 mile Wild Cave Tour *. You navigate with a couple of guides using only headlamps.

Then while you're all taking a breather, they get you to turn out your lights - while 300 feet underground.

Not only is it pitch black, it's also deathly silent. After a few moments, you start hearing the blood running through your ears. It's a remarkable experience in itself.

* Unless you're a tubby.


Some of our group totally wanted to do the Wild Cave Tour, but there were a few among us who wouldn't have been comfortable in a confined space. We were lucky to get them into the cave at all :) Next time maybe.
We did the lights out thing at a rest stop on the Grand Avenue tour, as well as unintentionally when the lighting system failed. It's funny how everyone just whipped out a cell phone or iPod for light.
 
2010-02-24 05:56:29 PM  
JonnyBGoode: trappedspirit: your ex-wife is a well

"... and it's deep, too!"


"...and full of bat guano"
 
2010-02-24 06:07:16 PM  
pablodolanez: JonnyBGoode: trappedspirit: your ex-wife is a well

"... and it's deep, too!"

"...and full of bat guano"


"..and has special access ramps for the handy cap"
 
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