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Slutty genes, King Tut's failed pyramid scheme and the street value of illegal poultry: Fark's favorite headlines of the week from 2/14 - 2/20 
Posted by Drew at 2010-02-22 2:38:58 PM (30 comments) | Permalink
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7442 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2010 at 2:46 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No writeup from Drew this week, so enjoy some good headlines you may have missed.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-02-14 to Sat 2010-02-20:

img1.fark.net  Former Olympians Peggy Fleming, Vonetta Flowers injured in Joe Biden motorcade crash. 5.7, 5.8, 5.9, 5.9, 6.0, 5.7    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  UAH professor who killed three colleagues last week, shot brother in 1986, was also suspect in Harvard bomb plot in 1993. Will soon be linked to Kennedy assassination    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Car crashes at auction, seriously injuring 4, I have 4, do I hear 5, I have 5, make that 6 seriously injured    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Over 600 chickens were seized from a poultry trafficker's home. Police estimate their total street value at $1,000,000    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Small plane slams into Austin building near FBI offices. FBI investigates possible ties between Al Qaeda and gravity    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Genetics replaces Long Island Ice Tea as the primary reason for why your girlfriend is a slut    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  LHC to be switched on again last week    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  American military gets its thumb drives back. U-S-B, U-S-B, U-S-B    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  The new O'Hare runway is planned to go right over a cemetery, potentially displacing dozens of voters    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Monastery in Austria is offering men the chance to be a monk for a weekend. Have some time for contemplation, search for inner peace, find God, bone up on onanism    img.fark.net


Sports:

img1.fark.net  NBC's crappy Olympics coverage has reached a point where sports fans are beginning to personally hate the network with the blazing agony of rectal herpes    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Jose Reyes says he's ready to return to his role as New York's fifth-best shortstop, behind Jeter, Jeter's backup, A-Rod, and Phil Rizzuto's coffin    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Phil Jackson whines about Cavaliers picking up Jamison for a bag of beans. Pau Gasol unavailable for comment    img.fark.net


Geek:

img1.fark.net  "Common Thread Links Multiple Human Cognitive Disorders." It's on the Politics tab if you want to read it    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  King Tut found to have suffered from cleft palate, club foot, and died from complications from broken leg exacerbated by malaria, failed pyramid scheme    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Top 25 most dangerous software practices for 2010\'; UPDATE links SET light = 'green' WHERE id = 5033195 --    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

img1.fark.net  Production on "24" halted after Kiefer Sutherland suffers a ruptured cyst. TELL ME WHERE THE BALM IS    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Tila Tequila may have miscarried. Well, miscarriages are almost always sad, but in this case I think the kid made the right choice    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  James Cameron says he will not return to the Terminator franchise, will instead focus on Avatar-related projects, including the development of the Na'vi's evil neighbors, the Ga'rg'am'el's    img.fark.net


Politics:

img1.fark.net  James Traficant could be dipping his toe into the pool of congressional candidates this fall. No word yet if he will run as an independent or Wig    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  February 20th, 1992: Ross Perot says he'll run for President on Larry King. Do you hear me? Did you hear what I'm saying to you? What you have here is a headline. You read it from left to right. It's not rocket science, people    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Alexander Haig no longer in charge here    img.fark.net


Music:

img1.fark.net  "My Sharona" singer now visiting "My Embalma", then "My Funeral Parla"    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Gordon Lightfoot joins Abe Vigoda in the Great Beyond    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Manic Street Preachers attack Radiohead during a small show in Glasgow. Radiohead would respond, but they're too busy making music and playing shows that people actually listen to    img.fark.net


Business:

img1.fark.net  U.S. worse than Greece, says economists letting out a collective Ψ    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Abercrombie's profit falls 31%, as people discover you don't have to spend two hundred dollars to get holes in your jeans    img.fark.net

img1.fark.net  Too late to help out Mitt Romney, Air Canada proposes nut-free buffer zones on flights    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-02-22 02:49:42 PM  
Wait a sec... does Drew get vacations?!
 
2010-02-22 02:51:19 PM  
Third In Line: Wait a sec... does Drew get vacations?!

Weekend in Vegas with Tucker Max?

/*ducks*
 
2010-02-22 02:53:35 PM  
That's all we have for this week? Shame on you, Farkers. I only got a chuckle from any of these.

/misses last year's "Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt"
 
2010-02-22 02:56:24 PM  
"American military gets its thumb drives back. U-S-B, U-S-B, U-S-B"

My personal fav. ^^
 
2010-02-22 03:00:30 PM  
Chicken illegal hustlers actually existed? what a strange place we live in... Im getting worried for sake of our humanity -_-
 
2010-02-22 03:04:18 PM  
And the phrase that made me laugh hardest of these remains, "...the blazing agony of rectal herpes"
 
2010-02-22 03:05:14 PM  
Scientists create liquid 250,000 times hotter than the Sun. Plan to name it "pizzacheeseium"

My favorite, made me snort repeatedly just because it's true.
 
2010-02-22 03:09:08 PM  
These subby's should be hired by the late night talk shows.
 
2010-02-22 03:17:22 PM  
The Tila Tequila "miscarries" one was my favorite.
 
2010-02-22 03:20:57 PM  
Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.
 
2010-02-22 03:21:59 PM  
It's the U-S-B one, no question
 
2010-02-22 03:25:05 PM  
tuffsnake: It's the U-S-B one, no question

Or maybe the LHC one
 
2010-02-22 03:31:21 PM  
 
2010-02-22 03:34:03 PM  
"Common Thread Links Multiple Human Cognitive Disorders." It's on the Politics tab if you want to read it"

That's a good one that I missed during the week. That and the Niger headline are my faves.
 
2010-02-22 03:36:44 PM  
A damn fine week for headlines.
 
2010-02-22 03:39:48 PM  
The Tila Tequila headline was delightfully caddish, but my money's still on "Niger president" for headline of the year.
 
2010-02-22 03:41:20 PM  
calbert: Love letters from John F. Kennedy to his Swedish mistress are up for auction. Camelot? You bet he did (new window)

Woman drives off with her underwear-clad boyfriend on the hood of her car, causing skidmarks (new window)


?????


Both excellent headlines, they just didn't quite make the cut this week. Favorite them so that you can add them to the thread when I ask for the HOY nominees this December.
 
2010-02-22 03:53:11 PM  
Mmmm, slutty jeans...
 
2010-02-22 04:11:33 PM  
James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.


Missed that one. +1
 
2010-02-22 04:17:52 PM  
AbsolutTBomb's alt: James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.

Missed that one. +1


My vote still goes to:

Three girls killed by a train as they cross trestle bridge, will never get to see the body of Ray Brower

I guess the timing means that it isn't up for an award until next week.
 
2010-02-22 04:21:02 PM  
"..... Collective Psi" and "Common thread links...." are HOTY contenders, esp the latter.

Good works, Subbies!
 
2010-02-22 04:25:38 PM  
Top 25 most dangerous software practices for 2010\'; UPDATE links SET light = 'green' WHERE id = 5033195 --

How did subby know what the number of the thread was going to be?
 
2010-02-22 05:44:42 PM  
mynameist: AbsolutTBomb's alt: James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.

Missed that one. +1

My vote still goes to:

Three girls killed by a train as they cross trestle bridge, will never get to see the body of Ray Brower

I guess the timing means that it isn't up for an award until next week.


Remember that when HOTY voting comes around, cause your vote matters!

/shakes hand
//do you have a baby I can kiss? Sister? Daughter?
///yes I subbed that one
////I have formed my own HOTYAC - Headline of the Year Action Committee

;)
 
2010-02-22 05:55:15 PM  
Niger.


/please
 
2010-02-22 06:09:19 PM  
The Invisible Sky Wizard: The Tila Tequila headline was delightfully caddish

Why thank you.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-02-22 06:34:23 PM  
CornFedIowan

Subby loaded TotalFark's "latest links" page, typed in a number a few ahead of the most recently submitted, refreshed waiting for the number one less than the chosen number to appear, and hit submit at the appointed time. Arguably, subby has too much time on his hands. And as the thread pointed out, too little appreciation of SQL syntax as viewed through the narrow aperture of an injection attack.
 
2010-02-22 06:51:00 PM  
James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.


Came here to say this! Best headline on Fark. Ever.
 
2010-02-22 08:00:23 PM  
spidermann: Remember that when HOTY voting comes around, cause your vote matters!

Can I be your bitter opponent, saying "no" to everything?

/I keed
 
2010-02-22 08:56:12 PM  
James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.


Pashan8: James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.

Came here to say this! Best headline on Fark. Ever.


The Invisible Sky Wizard: The Tila Tequila headline was delightfully caddish, but my money's still on "Niger president" for headline of the year.

AbsolutTBomb's alt: James F. Campbell: Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline

Headline of the year. Book it.

Missed that one. +1



Thank you everyone!
 
2010-02-22 10:38:26 PM  
Loved Coup succeeds in detaining Niger president, exciting teabaggers who misread the headline. Definitely a potential Best of 2010 headline, and we have over 10 months left to go too.

Nice week also when one of mine gets in too.

/Not Niger Submitter
 
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