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(USA Today)   Child prodigy who was solving math problems at 14 months to graduate college at age 13. Learned how to count to 21 hanging out with Michael Jackson   ( divider line
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273 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2003 at 6:34 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-04-19 02:45:19 PM  
{Among his goals is to become president of the United States.

"It would give me the opportunity to help so many people," Greg said.}

See? he's not that smart.
2003-04-19 02:50:50 PM  
Then again, it's the perfect place to get sex, and at the rate he's going, it should be right about the time his hormones are screaming. Plus all the interns will be older than he is.

Graduating with honors, explaining photosynthesis to kindergarten classmates, Nobel Prize nominations, meeting with prime ministers and presidents ya know what's scary? This kid has already done more by himself than all of us farkers combined.

His parents are proud, but the part they like is that now that he's graduated college they can kick him out of the house earlier.

(Hiyo! Tip the waiter, I'm here all week!)
2003-04-19 03:03:26 PM  
Sure, they all congratulate him now. But this is what an evil genius looks like before they get their underground bunker and cybernetic arms. He'll be building a Doomsday Laser within 5 years and creating hordes of barcoded clones to enslave us all, you mark my words.

Fortunately, I'll have stolen his atomic Moon Rocket and be halfway to Mars by then. And then we'll get war between Mars and Earth. It's true. You read it on the Internet.
2003-04-19 03:11:54 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-19 03:32:53 PM  
funny headline..

And it still took him 4 years to finish college. He's not so smart.
2003-04-19 03:33:50 PM  
I see a monumental case of burnout coming.

wonder what his common sense is like, sounds like he is equipped with that too, which most super-genius' tend to lack in extremes
2003-04-19 04:02:11 PM  
I've watched this young man for quite a while. Hearing him speak gives you hope for our future.

He's amazing.
2003-04-19 04:04:20 PM  

Funny, he looks like an idiot.

Ha! HA! I feel superior again...or maybe just a little less of a total waste of ass.

2003-04-19 04:07:19 PM  
MuchWYZA: I've watched this young man for quite a while. Hearing him speak gives you hope for our future.

...and proof that the anti-stalking/anti-pedophilia laws in British Columbia should be kicked up a notch.

He's amazing.


2003-04-19 04:38:44 PM  
How much is the kid and how much is it asshat parents trying to live their failed miserable lives thru the kid? Chance at a normal life? No. Chance to be a kid? No. 20 years (or less) from now that "kid" is going to be one farked up cookie.
2003-04-19 05:08:39 PM  
Just for the record, there are fewer things that I hate more than child prodigies.
2003-04-19 05:29:09 PM  
@ 28 he'll be smokin' pot and investigating sex, like evryone else ten (or more) years his jnr. jeez, let him have some fun.
2003-04-19 05:29:14 PM  
The sad thing is, you always hear about these child prodigies graduating at 13 or something, and then, you never hear from them again.

I like to imagine that they just become run-of-the-mill geniuses in their twenties and spend the rest of their lives at a less-than-Ivy-league university, where they publish academic papers, teach moronic college freshmen, and then commit suicide before age 40.
2003-04-19 06:23:27 PM  
2003-04-19 06:38:43 PM  
2003-04-19 06:39:49 PM  
Doogie Howser?
2003-04-19 06:41:33 PM  
for some reason, i really, REALLY want to punch this kid.
2003-04-19 06:42:09 PM  
You guys should give the kid some more credit i think. Is it me, so I detect a certain tendancy here to look down on the achievements of other people, perhaps by jealousy?

Sounds like some of you need a self-esteem overhaul :P
2003-04-19 06:43:32 PM  
sounds like he should have the sh*t beat out of him.
2003-04-19 06:44:09 PM  
Nah, his parents just have lots of money, plus some connections.
2003-04-19 06:44:59 PM  
Not that anyone here is bitter, or anything...
2003-04-19 06:46:02 PM  
The light that burns twice as bright...
2003-04-19 06:46:16 PM  
Actually, he won't commit suicide at 40, his accelerated mind will insure that he's around 23.
2003-04-19 06:47:33 PM  
I would've been able to solve math problems at 18 months, but I was more interested in eating Play-Doh and crapping myself. Come to think of it, I'm STILL more interested in eating Play-Doh and crapping myself than solving math problems.

The more things change....
2003-04-19 06:48:27 PM  
Poor kid. My kid is 7 and he does high school work. That part is cool. The part about his being totally unable to socialize with kids his age, or kids at his academeic level. That part is uncool.
2003-04-19 06:49:25 PM  
Paging John Nash, Dr. John Nash will you please come get your freakishly smart kid.
2003-04-19 06:49:56 PM  
He should go on Fox's "America's most talented kid". He had a chance of winning over that one kid who can tap dance real good to Frank Sinatra tunes.... and that kid is reeealy impressive.
2003-04-19 06:49:58 PM  
Anyone want to do the math on how long it will be until this kid is in re-hab?
Finished college before he finished puberty?
Sad, sad, sad.
I hope while he's getting his Masters he gets to really enjoy college. You know... puking his brains out, waking up with one eyebrow shaved off, getting so stoned he forgets where he left his feet... Everything that college is supposed to be!!!
2003-04-19 06:50:09 PM  
You know, Chellenger, I don't think I'll ever be able to see your name without thinking of feathered, incinerated, gazelles. The crosses we bear...

I wonder if the reason publicised prodigies burn out is due to the fact that they were publicised; celebrity for something you can't control and, on another level, can't properly claim is a troubling thing. Celebrity, in general, is something few people accept well.
2003-04-19 06:50:49 PM  
He's graduating cum laude yet he's not even old enough to snicker when he hears that phrase. It's a strangle world we live in indeed.
2003-04-19 06:51:58 PM  
Buckaroo Banzai lives. So what is his FARK screen name?
2003-04-19 06:52:37 PM  
Yeah, but I could still kick his ass.
2003-04-19 06:52:39 PM  
Great! Now what does he do? He's sure as hell too young to hold any sort of job. His best hope is to stay in grad school and postdoctoral work til he turns 25 like the rest of us. Otherwise he's just going to bum around the house and stagnate. He'll discover the wonders of alcohol and LSD and it'll be all over.

The problem with being a prodigy like that is you hit puberty and your irresponsible time at entirely the WRONG stage in life. If you're in middle school or high school when you turn 14, discover girls, do stupid things and get into trouble, no one thinks anything of it. You still have that whole college thing ahead of you to get on some sort of more cohesive track. If you've alreadygot a PhD and are supposed to be teaching classes or publishing appers or something at 16, but decide to snort pixie sticks and feel up Suzy instead, there's a whole different set of consequences. We assign responsabilities to people with college degrees and all that that a 13 year old simply is not equipped to handle.

It's totally the quiz show boy from Magnolia.
2003-04-19 06:53:09 PM  
What corporation is going to hire this kid? He's got no world experience doing anything other than reading, taking tests, shiatting himself and eating play-doh (props to Destined_for_nothing) :D

Maybe the Barnum and Bailey Circus?
2003-04-19 06:54:47 PM  
Damn, Comatose beat me to it. He gets 25 points for mentioning Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
2003-04-19 06:55:10 PM  
A story about a flight attendant getting sexually assaulted gets an "AMUSING" tag and a story about a child prodigy draws mostly derision...oh, how twisted you all are. For shame!

Oh wait, I did laugh at the story about the woman who farked her dog. Nevermind.

/falls off high horse
2003-04-19 06:56:14 PM  
In other news: The Ghost of William Sidis is not impressed.
2003-04-19 06:56:16 PM  
Would someone please change the age laws so we can get this kid on the ballot in 2004? 22 yrs from now this kid will be burnt out of ambition and selling out to coorperations like everybody else.

Helloooooo Carlyle Group! Helllooooo U.S. Cellular Park
2003-04-19 06:56:26 PM  
As the article mentions, he's making money from speaking engagements. Which is similar enough to the circus, given the circumstances...I doubt those people would pay money to see the same words come out of a thirty year old.

But, since when does one have to be hired by a corporation to make money?
2003-04-19 06:57:13 PM  
*sigh*... i feel bad for this kid. one of the major points of having schooling extend well into the teens is not because we need that long to learn frickin' pre-calc, but for the socializing factor. the reason most of these child prodigies burn out is because they have no interaction with their peers. while i decry the anti-intellectualism of making fun of this kid for being an 'egghead', i still wish his parents had let him slow down and chill awhile and figure out who he was, rather than pushing him in front of TV cameras constantly.
2003-04-19 06:57:41 PM  
But seriously: this is very impressive, I just hope the pressure does not get to him the way it has so many prodigies in the past.
2003-04-19 06:58:07 PM  
Think about it... 13 years old... this kid is just hitting his stride, hormone-wise. In about another year, he will wake up and realize that he is way behind his peers in normal activities (like chasing girls and flogging the dolphin) and has no chance to have a normal relationship with anything female (or male for that matter) because of the wierd box he has put himself in. Pretty farked, really.
2003-04-19 07:00:10 PM  
The farker's smarter and taller than I am.

I bet his dick's bigger too.

I'm gonna go cry now.
2003-04-19 07:00:30 PM  
Youthful enthusiasm will kill the kid, perhaps. One is forced to realize that achievements are not built through the magic of brain power alone...just being smart does not entitle one to the Presidency. I wonder if the kid knows how to deal with failure?
2003-04-19 07:00:36 PM  
This article makes me wonder what sort of things can be accomplished if the opportunities available to this kid are made available to the THOUSANDS of children that have the ability to do what this kid has done. Potential only takes you so far, opportunity can take you farther. Leave no child behind, but let no child go ahead. Thanks Dubya
2003-04-19 07:01:25 PM  
He's obviously an Agent. Kill him before he learns to control the Matrix!

Seriously, though, a kid that smart shouldn't have a big problem getting through puberty and finding something useful to do with his life. So he'll date girls twice his age; big deal, right? It's just numbers.
2003-04-19 07:01:32 PM  
Genius 13 year-old...or very crafty dwarf con-man? YOU be the judge.
2003-04-19 07:01:55 PM  
Among his goals is to become president of the United States.

Hey kid, welcome to the United States. Being elected to any political office is about how much money you have and who you know, not brain power. Current President is case and point.

2003-04-19 07:02:28 PM  
2003-04-19 07:04:21 PM  
if he has already been nominated for 2 nobel peace prizes then i think he'll make a great president one day.
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