Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cornell Daily Sun)   Cornell bans Farker PhilPhil's Segway from campus. Anal sex still okay   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

210 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Apr 2003 at 2:34 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

186 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-04-18 12:34:23 PM  
Can you use it off-campus?
Kat [TotalFark]
2003-04-18 12:34:36 PM  
"I could joust with this thing"


PhilPhil, that sucks. I would have gone with the motorcycle, my self. I say, ride it around anyhow--damn the man!
2003-04-18 12:38:06 PM  
You could have a cool OJ moment, Philphil - never stop running, man!! NEVER STOP RUNNING!
2003-04-18 12:38:25 PM  
I missed the go ahead for anal in the article, or is that a joke I am missing ?
2003-04-18 12:42:49 PM  
Should have gone to Purdue instead... we're all about crazy technical paraphernalia here, without sticks up our asses. Plus the girls would be all over that thing. You, well, maybe, but the Segway, definitely.
2003-04-18 12:45:37 PM  
RPB - It was an article linked a few weeks back. Some Cornell sex columnist talked about how she liked getting it in through the out-door from her boyfriend.
2003-04-18 12:47:12 PM  
Claim that it's a device for anal sex; that'll win 'em over.
2003-04-18 12:50:21 PM  
Thanks OBB , I must have missed that one because I would have remembered it.....because, uh, I, uh,.......went to Cornell, yeah that's the ticket.
2003-04-18 12:55:59 PM  
It wasn't even her boyfriend, OBB, it was just some friend visiting her from out of town. And she made it sound do boring and mechanical it took all the fun right the hell out of it.
2003-04-18 12:58:12 PM  
And PhilPhil might I ask what the hell a college undergrad is doing with $5,000 to blow?
2003-04-18 01:05:16 PM  
Oh, I did read that article and didn't remember it because it was boring and mechanical.....

Cornell = anal, got it.
2003-04-18 01:05:57 PM  
I wish I was in college stil...
Ah, to be young and in college and rolling around on a strange two wheeled gyroscopic balancing futuristic transportation device....
Kat [TotalFark]
2003-04-18 01:08:44 PM  
Selling blow, no doubt, Candypants
2003-04-18 01:09:24 PM  
I could joust with this thing

Sounds like something a farker would say. haha. That sucks though. Like having a sportscar and then being told to leave it in the garage....kinda, I guess.
2003-04-18 01:14:32 PM  
Best blow on campus, Kat.
2003-04-18 01:39:26 PM  
Candypants, judging by the cost of tuition at Cornell, I doubt that PhilPhil's a poor boy anyway.
2003-04-18 01:42:31 PM  
Bad luck and lots of money = PoorRichBoy
Good luck and little money = RichPoorBoy
2003-04-18 01:44:37 PM  

Ok, that's reason enough for me not to get one.
2003-04-18 02:23:31 PM  
It was an article linked a few weeks back. Some Cornell sex columnist talked about how she liked getting it in through the out-door from her boyfriend.

I must have missed that one. Link?
2003-04-18 02:24:46 PM  
2003-04-18 02:38:11 PM  
Thats cuz Segway's are gay.

Oh, wait a minute...
2003-04-18 02:38:13 PM  
Someone bought one of those things?
2003-04-18 02:39:19 PM  
Now if they would just ban cellphones...we'd be set. Or at least allow people to kick the asses of people who leave their phones on where they know damn well they're not supposed to (class, labs that have 'no cell phone usage' signs all over the place, etc).
2003-04-18 02:39:24 PM  
she liked getting it in through the out-door

.....and now "Raspberry Beret" will never sound the same to me again.......
2003-04-18 02:39:26 PM  
That's the sort of progressive thinking you'd expect at some this country's top educational institutes, right?

2003-04-18 02:40:13 PM  

Transfer to a real school and ride to your heart's content
2003-04-18 02:40:41 PM  
It also could be be a reference to the South Park parody of the Segway that required an anal probe.
2003-04-18 02:40:47 PM  
Just walk like the rest of us, for the love of God.

What an absolutely useless invention.
2003-04-18 02:41:25 PM  
Serves you right, you long-haired hippy. Now go get a job.
2003-04-18 02:41:56 PM  
What the hell is with these things honestly? Is everybody too lazy to walk all of a sudden? If I was confined to a wheelchair, I'd be pissed that people with perfectly good legs are wheeling their lazy asses around on these godawful things.
2003-04-18 02:42:56 PM  
Can someone please tell my why someone would buy one of thoes goddamn things. people are so farking lazy. why can't they just farking walk to where they need to go.

just one more step to becoming a 450lb man that can't get a farking job at McDonalds.
2003-04-18 02:43:20 PM  
Aren't the school grounds considered private property? If so, would the state road use / pedestrian walkway restrictions apply?
2003-04-18 02:44:48 PM  
Good for Cornell.

I already have to put up with oblivous morons yapping on their cell phones in monstrous SUVs and not paying attention to the road.

Don't need the same aggravation on the sidewalk.
2003-04-18 02:45:23 PM  
Nice helmet.
2003-04-18 02:45:28 PM  
and the Number 1 Marketing Slogan for the Segway Human Transporter...

"Wheeeeeeeeeee! I'm a Dork!'
2003-04-18 02:45:29 PM  
And another thing Philphil, do you not realize that that $5,000 could have bought a lot of beer and drugs and whatnot, thus making you one of the most popular kids on campus? Instead you're now known as "that dork with the Segway".

I'm just kidding. Ladies find Segways sexy.
2003-04-18 02:45:42 PM  

2003-04-18 02:45:49 PM  
3 words.
2003-04-18 02:46:00 PM  
No way, I need that money to buy porn and hookers for my perverted, lonely ass.
2003-04-18 02:46:02 PM  
Yokes... I totally forgot about that South Park. Damn that was a funny one.
2003-04-18 02:46:17 PM  
What a Dork.'
2003-04-18 02:46:35 PM  
Maceinator: They still apply. Campus rules generally can't supersede the law of the land.
2003-04-18 02:47:02 PM  
I don't think a ban is necessary. I'm sure the public ridicule from the fraturnities, sororities and atheletes would be enough to keep them off campus...

It's kind of like banning pocket protectors: They basically ban themselves.
2003-04-18 02:47:13 PM  
..New York has yet to join the over 30 states which have passed Segway-friendly legislation."

I guess the Segway joust Corporate Mofo and I were planning in Central Park will have to wait, then...
2003-04-18 02:47:26 PM  
Wow... Holy bat crap in a pickle barrel !!!
...Somebody actually owns one of those ridiculously expensive little things ?
2003-04-18 02:47:45 PM  
"Powell cited existing traffic laws, which allow for "electrically-driven mobility assistance devices" on sidewalks only if the operator has a disability. "

Isn't this discrimination against those of us that do not have disabilities???
2003-04-18 02:48:09 PM  
I think the tag line refers to the irony of the liberal administration at Cornell being so anal over the Segway and so liberal about other things (a la anal sex)
2003-04-18 02:48:15 PM  
I'm saving my money for "the flying car"
2003-04-18 02:49:44 PM  
Wait a minute, this thing has no breaks, and he wants to use it in ITHACA, that places with all the STEEP HILLS? How did he expect to even get back down Libe Slope?

2003-04-18 02:49:47 PM  
40 Dog - Hehehe, a nice use double use of the word 'anal'... anyone know the grammatic term for that?
Displayed 50 of 186 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.