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(Local6)   Egret gets sucked into van's bumper in Orlando, survives 850-mile trip to Pennsylvania -- then bites first person it sees   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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71 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2003 at 3:09 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

87 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-17 02:08:56 PM  
"Wake up, Egret. Get your shoes on. We're here at Grandma's -- OWWW!"
2003-04-17 02:31:47 PM  
Uh, I can hardly blame the bird...First it gets hit and stuck to the bumper...Then it ends up in freakin PA? It is a warm weather bird now in the northeast! I'd be biting some biatches too!
2003-04-17 03:00:55 PM  
Why does this have an [image from too old to be available] tag?
I thought the obvious tag was to be used for articles that everyone knew about already, or didn't need to be told. I had no idea that an Egret got sucked into a van's bumper in Orlando, survived an 850 mile road trip to PA, and then bit the first person it saw. So it wasn't obvious to me. I think this tag gets misused more often than the "ironic" tag.
2003-04-17 03:12:26 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Aves. Don't fark with us.
2003-04-17 03:12:32 PM  
It's obvious that the bird would be pissed off after the 850-mile trip, hence the bite.

Don't be so fatuous.
2003-04-17 03:13:01 PM  
I'd bite the first person I saw too, after all that. Probably why it's [image from too old to be available].
2003-04-17 03:13:07 PM  
That's one tough ol' bird.
2003-04-17 03:13:19 PM  
it's obvious that the bird got stuck in the bumper. der. those damn egret are always playin too close to cars.
2003-04-17 03:13:28 PM  
As long as the bird didnt get free and skawk:

I can out learn you, I can out read you, I can out think you, and I can out philosophize you, and I am gonna out last you.
2003-04-17 03:13:30 PM  
"The Pennsylvania Butch have no egrets..."

I kill me.
2003-04-17 03:14:20 PM  
When I get out of here you're gonna egret ever hitting me!

/that was soooo bad
2003-04-17 03:14:23 PM  
Hey! That's Orlando's bird! Give it back!
2003-04-17 03:14:51 PM  
I thought an Egret was a flavor of ice cream?
2003-04-17 03:14:56 PM  
hey InternetSecurityGuard, how did you get your cat to make a face like that?
2003-04-17 03:15:32 PM  
I think he was upset they drove him to Mechanicsburg. I'd bite you, too.
2003-04-17 03:15:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-17 03:15:54 PM  
I'd bite someone too if they dragged my ass out warm, sunny Florida and dropped me off in cold-ass Amish country.
2003-04-17 03:16:17 PM  
No stealing our birds. You can have the asshats in Tallahasee, but leave our Egrets alone.
2003-04-17 03:16:20 PM  
Egrets, I have a few,
But then again, too few to mention..."

[image from too old to be available]

2003-04-17 03:16:27 PM  
I think that the bird showed surprising self restraint, I would have bitten anyone who came anywhere near me for the next two days.
2003-04-17 03:16:37 PM  
Personally, I wouldn't know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one.
2003-04-17 03:17:09 PM  
Wacky I tell ya. Just wacky.
2003-04-17 03:17:46 PM  
Thanks, Skinink, now I've got Diet Coke coming out of my nose!
2003-04-17 03:18:17 PM  
maybe it couldn't afford the tickets for the flight back home ;)
2003-04-17 03:18:32 PM  
Stubblyhead: It's not my kitty. I just found that picture on a web site called I normally embed that picture in a reply when a co-worker sends me an e-mail that makes no sense.
2003-04-17 03:19:44 PM  
Didn't they see this poor bird when they stopped to pee/buy gas/re-stock road trip food??
2003-04-17 03:19:46 PM  
So did the bird just eat the bugs that were hit on the way as well or can a bird not eat or drink for a week?????
2003-04-17 03:21:27 PM  
I bet it regrets the whole situation.
2003-04-17 03:21:39 PM  
while i feel sorry for that poor egret... you guys are making me laugh about it, especially Skinink!
2003-04-17 03:22:19 PM  
I eat grits.
2003-04-17 03:22:27 PM  
Actually, Big_pth, we do have cattle egrets here in PA.

And, ok, so maybe Pennsylvania is a little colder than Florida, but it was 80 degrees yesterday, dammit!

/tries to ignore the fact that it's 40 degrees outside right now.
2003-04-17 03:23:38 PM  
Hey! There's a picture of the Frog Gun next to the story
2003-04-17 03:24:16 PM  
Mechanicsburg is fowl. This is a truly egretable story, however, I think the bird couldn't decide whether to travel by air-o, or land-o.
2003-04-17 03:24:19 PM  
Egretfully yours,

2003-04-17 03:24:27 PM  
Here is a link to the Egret web site...
Kat [TotalFark]
2003-04-17 03:24:34 PM  
Wow, poor thing. Fun story to tell at the dinner table, though.
2003-04-17 03:26:05 PM  
give me some Kcmasterpice and a match and i'll feed everyone like jessus did with the fish back in the day before they put the crack in the way.smell me.
2003-04-17 03:26:10 PM  
how is this [image from too old to be available] and not [image from too old to be available]?
2003-04-17 03:26:17 PM  
Even birds are getting lazier.. jeez.
2003-04-17 03:26:27 PM  
Is that anyway near Cape Fear?

Be afraid, be very afraid.......
2003-04-17 03:26:39 PM  
How does something get sucked "into a bumper"? Call me crazy, but all the bumpers I've seen are rather solid objects, not at all prone to sucking much.
2003-04-17 03:30:17 PM  
Bumpers suck.
2003-04-17 03:30:30 PM  

He fixes the cable?
2003-04-17 03:30:46 PM  
I once rented a car in Rhode Island, drove up to a small town in Vermont and almost got lynched by a mob for having the state bird lodged in my grille. (Like I put it there on purpose!!)
2003-04-17 03:31:50 PM  
While bumpers don't seem to be all that conducive to "sucking things in," it happens everyday.... cows, cats, dogs, pedestrians, the occasional egret... although I can only be held responsible for that preppy frat boy that I happened to suck into my bumper....
2003-04-17 03:33:39 PM  
"How does something get sucked "into a bumper"? Call me crazy, but all the bumpers I've seen are rather solid objects, not at all prone to sucking much. "

I dated a woman who could suck the chrome off of a ball hitch, but that's a different story...
2003-04-17 03:34:05 PM  
If someone took me to Pennsylvania I'd bite them too.
2003-04-17 03:34:58 PM  
Poor thing?? It's a cheap-ass ungrateful hitch hiker. Though the story may be fun to tell around the dinner table, the Egret would look much nicer on the dinner table.

[image from too old to be available]

Mmmm. Egret.
2003-04-17 03:35:43 PM  
Imho, get sucked any way you can.
2003-04-17 03:37:23 PM  
Nutgrip eats grits.

I think that's the pits.
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