I hope no one tells this guy about Bob Fosse. He'll have a conniption.

Magic time!

Sounds like his wife had a "private dancing lesson" with the instructor.

/just sayin'

Jebus Slaves: Sounds like his wife had a "private dancing lesson" with the instructor.

/just sayin'

This.

Kind of sounds like the pastor is just deranged actually. The church doesn't condone touching while dancing?

i was born a snake handler and i'll die a snake handler.....

So what kind of dancing do they condone? Even holding hands like in square dancing would upset them with that kind of restriction.

/Can't think of any
//Bet they're Baptists

Reverend Shaw Moore approves.

/I'm free

"A Dane County prosecutor says 59-year-old Kevin Johnson of Baraboo hastily arranged a dance lesson at the instructor's Madison home and showed up with a stun gun and sledgehammer last Friday."


A stun gun AND a sledge hammer? Now that's a party!

FarkOffAndEatShirts: A stun gun AND a sledge hammer? Now that's a party!

He was actually just making a routine taser stop on his way to finish up some drywall demo at the youth group hall.

Where is Kevin Bacon when you need him

I want to join now.

NOW do you see why Baptists don't have sex standing up?

I'm your private dance instructor... a dance instructor for money.

Martian_Astronomer: NOW do you see why Baptists don't have sex standing up?



Because the black kids would be underwater?

drewkumo: Kind of sounds like the pastor is just deranged actually. The church doesn't condone touching while dancing?

My church, on the other hand, doesn't condone dancing while touching.

I'm in Baraboo right now, but I'm not getting much of a kick...

/It's time for a Wisconsin tag.
//Submitted yesterday with MUCH better headline.

Egalitarian: Non-Threatening Obviously Gay Boss could get away with tousling women's hair with no problem while Scuzzy Perv's pervy comments fell flat.

Maybe he should have tried the faux-mo route.

WrestlerManager: I'm in Baraboo right now, but I'm not getting much of a kick...

/It's time for a Wisconsin tag.


in green bay and so much THIS

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

Could be unrelated, but a web search of Kevin Johnson, Baraboo reveals two entries on jigsaw.com. One sells manufactured housing, the other livestock.

/Wisconsin

Those wacky christians....

drewkumo: Martian_Astronomer: NOW do you see why Baptists don't have sex standing up?



Because the black kids would be underwater?

Is that P Z Myers? I didn't think they had liquid water where he lives.

.

Punishment: he should be hit repeatedly with a stun gun/taser the same number of times.

Then let him go.

FTFA A Dane County prosecutor says 59-year-old Kevin Johnson of Baraboo hastily arranged a dance lesson at the instructor's Madison home and showed up with a stun gun and sledgehammer last Friday.

OK, I'll be the first one to say that....hmmm....yeah I've pulled some shiat back in the day when I was a kid. Shiat. College.. But WHAT the fark was that?

Given that, I give explicit permission to Farkers to a pre-trial beat-down (and a promise not to sue) if my ass ever pulls anything like that.

/pic in profile. Y'all know what I look like.

He must have had a "shocking" revelation from God!

nekom: Unfortunately they don't mention which religion it is, which is a shame because now when that comes up as a trivial pursuit question I'm not going to have an answer. :(

drewkumo: Kind of sounds like the pastor is just deranged actually. The church doesn't condone touching while dancing?


Possibly Wisconsin Synod Lutheran (...at least they used to be against dancing when I was young, and they're not the type to modify their practices as time marches on.) Or possibly certain flavors of Baptist. I would expect that all of those ultraconservative Protestant dress-like-Little-House-on-the-Prairie sects don't approve of dancing, either.

The only thing I *am* quite sure of is that Brother Johnson truly believes that God Himself condones his unprovoked assaults.

Good thing he didn't make it to phase II.

/hot

bighairyguy: The Taliban does this kind of thing, but I'm betting he's not a member.

Sounds like he's just the kind of guy they're looking for...

Atheism is a Religion.

letrole: Atheism is a Religion.

Fat free milk is full of fat.

The ocean has no water.

Vegans eat meat.

Disco is music.

I'd say probably that Environmentalism is the religion that has killed the most people but I would have to check the numbers.

Benjimin_Dover: I'd say probably that Environmentalism is the religion that has killed the most people but I would have to check the numbers.

Nah dewd, CAPITALISM by far!

WrestlerManager: I'm in Baraboo right now, but I'm not getting much of a kick...

/It's time for a Wisconsin tag.

eagles95
in green bay and so much THIS

I'ved live in wisconsin and florida. i work in wisconsin and wisconsinites are friends of mine. wrestlemanager, wisconsin's no florida.

evilmousse: WrestlerManager: I'm in Baraboo right now, but I'm not getting much of a kick...

/It's time for a Wisconsin tag.

eagles95
in green bay and so much THIS

I'ved live in wisconsin and florida. i work in wisconsin and wisconsinites are friends of mine. wrestlemanager, wisconsin's no florida.

Did a Florida state Representative get caught drunk driving six times?

Did the Florida DNR propose a hunting season on domestic cats?

Did the mayor of Florida's capital order the plows to clear the bike paths before the main roads during the biggest snowstorm of the year?

Did a Florida State Representative declare that it was useless to talk about climate change, because God decides what the weather will be like?

How many Florida parents killed their kids in an exorcism lately?

How many Florida preachers keep a dead woman's corpse on the toilet so they could pray for her resurrection?

Cannibalistic serial killers? Wisconsin 2, Florida 0.

/Wisconsin: It's Florida stupid, without the nice weather.

here's my counter-list:

there are currently 5 florida tag stories on the front page TODAY.

want more? check back tomorrow. they produce weekly stupidity highlights to match other states' yearly stupidity highlights.

evilmousse: here's my counter-list:

there are currently 5 florida tag stories on the front page TODAY.

That's because a Florida tag is pretty much an automatic greenlight. It's like posting a list from Cracked.com. If it came from anyplace else it would be ignored.

florida greenlights wouldn't be greenlit if not florida huh?

again i refer to today's front page:
winning 15 grand in a disagreement over your pubic hair, whipping out your member at your rehabilitation officer in their office, hitting and commanding the police dog to sit while the officer's trying to have it search your car (lol), and losing a nut at a superbowl party.

you're saying these wouldn't be greenlit if happened in wisconsin?

i'm not saying the quality of idiocy in florida is higher, i'm saying the volume is.

evilmousse: florida greenlights wouldn't be greenlit if not florida huh?

again i refer to today's front page:
winning 15 grand in a disagreement over your pubic hair, whipping out your member at your rehabilitation officer in their office, hitting and commanding the police dog to sit while the officer's trying to have it search your car (lol), and losing a nut at a superbowl party.

you're saying these wouldn't be greenlit if happened in wisconsin?


That's exactly what I'm saying.

My religion prohibits touching while being fat.

Having found stun guns to be ineffective, we've moved on to bear mace and mains power.

nimblehuman: Benjimin_Dover: I'd say probably that Environmentalism is the religion that has killed the most people but I would have to check the numbers.

Nah dewd, CAPITALISM by far!

Yeah, we'd have to check the numbers.

Put together a few columns and label them capitalism, communism, fascism, environmentalism, secularism, and maybe anarchism and start entering numbers. Gather how many died under Stalin, Mao, Hitler, Reagan, Clinton, Churchill, Carson, Pol Pot, Bush, and Thatcher. Add 'em up.

You can't be so footloose with those tazers. They hurt people.

Wasn't this in an Adam Sandler movie?

Not yet?

Will be!

The other headline made me LOL more
Dance instructor rocks down to Electric Avenue after taking a stun gun to the neck [Scary]