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(Yahoo)   Iowa: Home of corn, pigs and the Miss Nude World Pageant   (story.news.yahoo.com ) divider line 63
    More: Cool  
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328 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Apr 2003 at 5:48 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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waz
2003-04-16 10:32:16 AM  
I was once a judge for the Miss Nude World Kitchener/Waterloo Pageant, and I have a pen and a certificate to prove it. Contrary to what one might think, being a judge for one of these things gets tiring pretty quickly. There were about 30 women, all performing pretty much identical stripper routines. After the first hour, I was ready to go home, but I had to sit through at least 2 more hours of it, right up in perverts row.
 
2003-04-16 10:55:43 AM  
Waz

I'm guessing that you couldn't drink during the judging..
 
2003-04-16 12:02:33 PM  
Two Iowa links in as many days. I can see where this is going. The foundation for an Iowa tag is being laid.

Also, Iowa has nude soccer. Take that Europe!
 
2003-04-16 12:33:05 PM  
They may be ugly in Des Moines, but I challenge anyone to find a city with more hot chicks than Iowa City, the place is absurd.
I think there was some sort of crazed cloning experiment gone terribly awry and now we are flooded with gorgeous, skimpily clad blonds.
Even in winter these girls wear next to no clothes and practically freeze to death as they go to the bars downtown, its amazing.
 
waz
2003-04-16 12:48:18 PM  
Actually, yes, drinking was allowed... but the location being a strip-joint, and me being a student at the time, I don't know if I could have afforded to drink enough to make the whole thing worthwhile.
 
2003-04-16 01:03:43 PM  
I highly suggest that anyone pass through Des Moines check out the Lumberyard. I went there with a girl I was dating and some of her freinds who wanted to see what it was all about. Great times at the Lumberyard, but after two months of non-stop biatching about me looking (gasp!!!) at the dancers made me wish I would have stayed home and slammed my head into a wall all night.
 
2003-04-16 02:22:35 PM  
I know where Cool World is. Brad Pitt and Kim Basinger live there. Can someone please show me where Nude World is?
 
2003-04-16 05:59:55 PM  
"The Lumber Yard". Classic.
 
2003-04-16 06:00:07 PM  
"The fundamental issue is: It degrades women; it treats them like things rather than people,"

yet...
The winner of the pageant will receive $10,000. Contestants who win preliminary events will get $5,000.

I would take alot of degrading for $10,000!
 
2003-04-16 06:06:39 PM  
Pictures of any finalists?
 
2003-04-16 06:07:24 PM  
I've had to drive though Iowa before.

Have you ever smelled a pig farm on hot summer day. You know your in Iowa when you do.
 
2003-04-16 06:07:28 PM  
Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city, there's a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here in this trailer park.



/had to do it.
 
2003-04-16 06:07:49 PM  
Kitten Killing Contest????????
 
2003-04-16 06:08:11 PM  
well, i live in Des moines a mile or two from the Lumber yard, and i say this calls for an all out Fark party during this pageant!
anyone with me?
 
2003-04-16 06:10:52 PM  
04-16-03 12:33:05 PM Mystic_fool
They may be ugly in Des Moines, but I challenge anyone to find a city with more hot chicks than Iowa City, the place is absurd.
I think there was some sort of crazed cloning experiment gone terribly awry and now we are flooded with gorgeous, skimpily clad blonds.
Even in winter these girls wear next to no clothes and practically freeze to death as they go to the bars downtown, its amazing.


I know -- I take the guys down with me to the folks (south of Iowa City about 60 miles), most Easters. They come back drooling over the girls. Rightfully so, too.
 
2003-04-16 06:12:31 PM  
"The fundamental issue is: It degrades women; it treats them like things rather than people," he said.

no, it treats women like people, and treats their things like things.
w00t!


on a sad note, the best nudie bar in Vancouver for the past 25 years (the Marble Arch) is now "Archie's Sports and Karaoke Bar"
/wipes a tear.
 
2003-04-16 06:16:18 PM  
"The fundamental issue is: It degrades women; it treats them like things rather than people," he said.

"Them"? ALL of them? Is mister sensitivity here saying they're a uniform mass, as in "they all look alike upside down"?

Liberals.
 
2003-04-16 06:17:33 PM  
YES! LUTHER COLLEGE COED NAKED SOCCER! Iowa is great! Let's make an Iowa tag for all this cool stuff with a bouncing 'o'
 
2003-04-16 06:19:59 PM  
Might have to go there indeed. Only 2 hours away. I wonder if anyone from Dolls or Tuxedos will be going.
 
2003-04-16 06:24:07 PM  
"The event on Oct. 20-25 at the Lumber Yard, a strip club"

I bet there is a lot of wood in there
 
2003-04-16 06:26:36 PM  
Lone_cow

Im down
 
2003-04-16 06:28:18 PM  
Pucklehead-

What is that from??? Damn, I know it from somewhere, but can't place my finger on it... ween?
 
2003-04-16 06:28:42 PM  
Didn't this pageant used to be in Indiana, near Chicago? I was going to go with a friend who had been the previous year (1991), but he died in an accident.

/sad story
 
2003-04-16 06:28:55 PM  
Speaking of Pigs and Corn...has anybody ever accidentally eaten any "pig corn"? That shiat sucks.

that headline brought back sweet memories of pulling down long farm roads to blaze a fatty, then noticing..."hey, a corn field. Free corn!"

Took it home, boiled it up...and it was Pig Corn! Shooooo-weeeee. Pigs ain't picky.
 
2003-04-16 06:30:32 PM  
After all, the prettiest girls in the whole wide world are in des moines.....
 
2003-04-16 06:36:59 PM  
The Lumberyard's slogan:
"Where real men go to get their wood."

I wish I could claim that, but that is their actual slogan.
 
2003-04-16 06:40:14 PM  
Iowa has gotten to have the most Fark stories per capita. It needs its own tag more than Florida or the putative Japan tag people ask for. It would be a treat when it comes up too, because of the novelty, like a Walken or Wheaton tag. Seriously, it would be good.
 
2003-04-16 06:40:50 PM  
 
2003-04-16 06:43:29 PM  
Lone_Cow, CovetouJOO

I'm down

Boobies for everyone
 
2003-04-16 06:43:52 PM  
Bitterman - Dead Milkmen: "stuart"

I still laugh my ass off every time I hear that song.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are doing to the soil?
 
2003-04-16 06:48:18 PM  
i need a favor. someone needs to get drew this message, i know he likes his boobies and beers. he needs to drop by the great beer and boobie capital of iowa in october for a fark party! i figure if there is going to be a miss nude world crowned he'd already be in on it though.
party on.
 
2003-04-16 06:48:21 PM  
someone needs to get drew this message, i know he likes his boobies and beers. he needs to drop by the great beer and boobie capital of iowa in october for a fark party! i figure if there is going to be a miss nude world crowned he'd already be in on it though.
party on.
 
2003-04-16 06:49:06 PM  
No, no, no, no, no! That's not the Miss Nude contest you wanna go to. THIS (http://www.nudes-a-poppin.com/nap-2003.htm) is the one you wanna go to!! Outdoors in the bright sunshine, and CAMERAS ARE ALLOWED. I repeat, CAMERAS ARE ALLOWED. It's called Nudes-A-Poppin and it's in Roselawn, Indiana in July and August..just 45 minutes south of Chicago.
 
2003-04-16 06:49:53 PM  
Fark Party...... Des Moines!
 
2003-04-16 06:57:27 PM  
I am hoping this has no tie with the "dogs" legislation link from yesterday.
 
2003-04-16 07:01:28 PM  
A five-day Boobie Fest? Must have some sort of advanced double-elimination rules.
 
2003-04-16 07:08:21 PM  
WAZ: You from the KW region? So am I.
 
2003-04-16 07:09:30 PM  
"but ah want my titties, and I want my beer, so you just
barf it right back up now devil, do you hear?"
 
2003-04-16 07:09:54 PM  
What? A reason to get off the interstate when driving through Des Moines for something other than gas?
 
2003-04-16 07:10:03 PM  
PH-

Thanks! Ah yes, now I remember.... geesh! Old age is gettin' too me. Too many nights in the Mellow Room back in Morgantown, I think.
 
2003-04-16 07:38:29 PM  
I'm pretty sure somebody shot the owner of the lumberyard, any desmoines farker's out there know of the incident perhaps a bit better than myself. I don't remember who exactly got shot but I remember hearing about it.

/short term memory
 
2003-04-16 07:39:10 PM  
Rip-off. Nothing tops the Miss Nude Galaxy pageant at the Ponderosa Sun Club in beautiful Roselawn, Indiana. They even get The Hedgehog to host it.

http://www.nudes-a-poppin.com/nap-2003.htm
 
2003-04-16 08:43:38 PM  
Tre_bumpn - It was the owner of Big Earl's Goldmine, who I think was Little Earl at the time.
 
2003-04-16 08:51:08 PM  
Big Earl's Goldmine, man that brings back memories. Memories of a buddy of mine getting beaten by breasts the size of watermelons. Man that was scary.
 
2003-04-16 08:59:49 PM  
Des Moines Farker here... and it was indeed Big Earl who was shot about 3 years ago. The crime remains unsolved.
One of the little Earls (there's several, all with different mothers) is in charge now.
 
2003-04-16 09:00:41 PM  
It was Kerouac who said that Des Moines had the prettiest
girls he had ever seen. Of course, that was what... 1958?
 
2003-04-16 09:07:07 PM  
The Lumberyard...

Check out the names of the, uh, 'entertainers'...
 
2003-04-16 09:48:25 PM  
Is this heaven? No it's Iowa....and a nude pageant...so yeah it could be heaven. At least it's not Omaha!
 
2003-04-16 10:05:21 PM  
[image from iwantwood.com too old to be available]
 
2003-04-16 10:06:55 PM  
Iowa is the greatest state in the USA!


Btw, is it just me or does the "lumberyard" sound a lot more like the name for a gay strip club then one that features women?
 
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