I once shot a potato gun loaded with frog into my forehead after a vodka moment.

Hah. I dont need vodka to be that dumb.

Vodka SUCKS! Long live WHISKEY!

/Irish rant

I am Jack's bleeding forehead.

Hey, it's better than trying it BEFORE drinking vodka.

now you time me

Mmmm, vodka. Great birth control!

After drinking large amounts of vodka, I always want to test how strong my little head is. I try to bump it into any attractive female around. I have as much luck as these guys.

reminds me of that darwin award for the russian guy who chainsawed his own head off doing a similiar contest with a friend.

These guys wouldn't stand a chance in a forehead strength contest against Wesley Willis.

I don't drink Vodka, I'm safe.

Greasedninja After drinking large amounts of vodka, I always want to test how strong my little head is. I try to bump it into any attractive female around. I have as much luck as these guys.

Greasedninja That's FOREHEAD, not FORESKIN.

So let me get this straight. If I read this correctly these were the guys driving the train? Thats just great.


SuburbanCowboy... just saw wesley willis perform last weekend. Some jerk tried to steal his lyric book right off the keyboard and he goes "Gimme back my book or i'm gonna come out there and smash you"

Yeah, same advice goes for tequila, but man, I farked up that door, not as much as my head, knees, and arm though.

Whiskey is for pussies and people afraid of power violence.

(straight)GIN MAKES A MAN MEAN!!!

I once made a great sports drink. It was called "Gatorrum"

Half a bottle of rum, half a bottle of Gatorade.

here was my slogan:

Gatorrum: it has electrolytes. And rum.

You couuld do anything, thanks to those electrolytes.

Better games are:
Who can pass out in the dumpster first?
Heaviest hookup.
What have we got in our pocketsss?
Longest toss (projectile vomiting).
Memento: Includes going through the pictures on the digital camera and wondering "who the fark is that", "why did I do that", and "so that's what hell looks like."

These games are played after imbibing a mix of vodka, rum, whiskey, rumpleminze, tequila, beer, paint thinner, lamb's blood, and chaos.

ROFL @ ProgeriaKid. Ahhhh, college. Good times, good times.

Note: the proper vesself for drinking gin mixed with anything other than ice is a flower vase. Preferrably fancy and big.

The Swedish Absolut Vodka is much better than the "Jeltsin Vodka"...
On the other hand, since you only drink vodka to get totaly wasted go for the russian stuff... totaly affordable

MONKEYKNIFE
I
once shot a potato gun loaded with frog into my forehead after a vodka moment

I tried to submit the frog/ potato gun story yesterday but the Denton Record chronicle is part of the Dallas morning news. Where did you see it.

Thanks, Gnosis79, I was wondering if I was the only person to catch that. Forget vodka, I'm just not getting on any trains in Russia

I had russian vodka with a russian dude once. we'd take a shot of that nasty shiat then eat a pickle. he said that's how they drink over there. i threw up after a couple of hours. it sucked. the end.

Monkeyknife - After much vodka, my big head hurts without all the banging. I give him the night off and do my thinking with my little head.

The instigator of the contest, a tourist from Colorado, was taken in for psychiatric observation. So far, he has only revealed that his name is Timmy.

unsmart

Mr-Wunderful The story is up and running in total fark

Vodka might also incite one to pee on the police station across the street from the bar, make repeat phone calls while playing an offensive song to an ex-boyfriend, demand multiple free meatballs from Subway, do somersaults in the road, take a roll of pictures you don't remember being in while in the bar, and start fights out the window of one's apartment with a person with no fashion sense.

/fondly remembers college days, pre-baby

come on, how much danger can there be in driving a train drunk? it's on tracks for gods sake! sheesh

ProgeriaKid: I, too, sometimes try to play "What has it got in it's pocketsss" after drinking vodka. But the girl usually just looks at me like i'm Gollum.

"Whiskey is for pussies and people afraid of power violence."

Try saying that in an Irish neighborhood. You're apt to wake up to find a bottle lodged in your cranium.

Sounds like Casey Jones has some competition in Russia... ;)

"Some things man was not meant to know...."

Yes, those college years were great, and the years since then have been even better. Stopping the booze bus right after college is a no-no. If I had, I never would have discovered the Super Tullynut at the #1 Tavern in Wildwood, NJ. What's in it? No one knows. You end up on the moon after a few.

Schmack, I think I may have hit on a few Gollums in my time, in addition to trolls, orcs, goblins, ogres, draconians, and various other monsters. No willowy elvish damsels need apply here. Not that they would anyway. /sniff

I forgot one game, but someone talked about meatballs, and that reminded me. Grease-eating contests always follow binging. In the Philly area, they usually take the form of cheesesteaks from Jim's/Pat's/Geno's/etc, pizza from anywhere, or magical meatball sandwiches from a 24-hour convenience store called Wawa, a star to every stumbling drunk. You can find one about every five feet or so.

An Irish neighborhood? Are we in 2003 or 1903? Surely, i wouldn't want to brave the hazards of the Polish and Lativian neighborhoods, and that gay ghetto! FORGET IT!...give me a break, not even the Italian market in my hometown is Italian anymore ("have you tried N'Guyen's anitpasta? It's terrific!").

I would probably get beat by the same people who would wear "Not Only Am I Perfect, I'm Irish Too!" shirts, and are several generations removed of whenever their ancestors were kicked off the boat. The joke would be on them, though, gin not only numbs the pain of life, but also the pain of a shillaleagh (or however you spell it).

-Sockmonkey "Letting Go Of My Granfalloon" McHolocaust

-or so they say

SuburbanCowboy... just saw wesley willis perform last weekend. Some jerk tried to steal his lyric book right off the keyboard and he goes "Gimme back my book or i'm gonna come out there and smash you"

Agreat, refreshing awe came over me when I read this post. I truly do love Wesley.

The dude that took Wesley's book should consider himself lucky that Wesley didn't take him on a demon hell ride.

more interestingly, on the sidebar of same page:

http://funreports.com/2002/06/21/30838.html

"that he would never make love to Anna Kournikova because the girl had- two vaginas."

What kind of 'Newspaper' is this anyway?!

Hmm... Here are my Vodka thoughts:

- Absolut is horrible, nasty tasting (too sour) (try the peppar for a fun time).
- Any Vodka from England is nasty.
- Russian Vodka's are like the Honda Accords of Vodkas. Good price, very consistant, somewhat boring.
- Higher proof Vodka's (like the blue label Smirnoff) burn off cleaner.
- Polish Vodka's are interesting but inconsistant.
- Finlandia is the best tasting Vodka ever (mmmm, cranberry).

Vodka, What about Goose?

progeria took the martini olive right out of my mouth.

grey goose is the best. finlandia is also good, Ketel One is up there. and contrary to Vodka's post i find Tanqueray Sterling to be a reasonable low-cost choice.

Luksowia Vodka KICKS.
Russian Prince isn't bad either.

The other day I tried 'Blavod' (Black Vodka...basically vodka with huge amounts of dye) ... The next morning I was peeing black. It was scary.

Grey Goose. The BEST. I can always tell when it is NOT Grey Goose.

St_Ides, Black Vodka is frightening. I did one shot and decided it should go in my first aid kit.

A buddy of mine sipped on his bottle a little at a time. It took him a year to finish it. I never had enough to pee black, but I have peed green, blue, orange, red, and purple.

Good God, I'll drink this poison but I won't eat cheeseburgers because that will kill ya.

I've never tried Grey Goose. Every time I see the bottle it reminds me of Three Olives which was one of the most foul English vodka's I've had :)

I'll definately try it next though.

I don't call myself Ivana Stolichnaya for no reason, this is me taking a Stoli shot last Friday on my birthday.

Foul.