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(Independent) Stupid Gay man penetrates bizarre world of gay-to-straight conversion. "We advise fathers, 'If you don't hug your sons, some other man will."   (independent.co.uk) divider line 222
More: Stupid, goodwill, intensive care, University College London, SSA, loneliness, lecture hall, pathology, glossary  
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14610 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2010 at 4:28 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



222 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-02-07 04:32:10 AM
Gay man article? So no boobies?
 
2010-02-07 04:32:20 AM
Waiting for NAMBLA comments...
 
2010-02-07 04:34:25 AM
You gotta wonder how many people got sucked into this.
 
2010-02-07 04:34:33 AM
Well, there's always a back door in these situations.
 
2010-02-07 04:36:37 AM
Some man wants to hug my son? A pat on the back is sufficient. If you're looking to spark up a sexual stint I would prefer you do it with my daughter. She's a slut already.

/joking: I don't have kids
 
2010-02-07 04:41:08 AM
I'm lucky I decided to be heterosexual at a young age. I didn't even think about it much. In fact, you could almost say it wasn't even a choice.
 
2010-02-07 04:41:22 AM
Epsilon: Some man wants to hug my son? A pat on the back is sufficient. If you're looking to spark up a sexual stint I would prefer you do it with my daughter. She's a slut already.

/joking: I don't have kids


Thanks for getting everybody's hopes up.
 
2010-02-07 04:42:12 AM
My investigation began last spring, shortly after cumming King's report was published, when an evangelical group held a conference in a central London church for therapists wanting to learn how to "reorient" their patients. I wanted to know who these therapists were, what happened during the treatment, and what effect it would have on the recipient. I posed as a potential client wanting to be cured.

***

Two hulking security guards search me on my way in. I came. Inside, there are two large lecture halls with more than 100 delegates. They are mostly men; they seem subdued, waiting for the show to start. So I came. Tables at the back of the hall display books on how to make people heterosexual. And dildos. Lots and lots of dildos...

He has a cropped beard and wears a crisp suit. Which matched his tweed purse to a tee...

During the lunch break gay protesters gather outside the venue, kept back by cock rings a police cordon. I can hear the din of the chanting and the whistle-blowing. (I got nuthin' on that one.) The organisers advise us to stay inside... when cumming.

/I'm so sorry, it just came out of me.
//I'm rather tired...
 
2010-02-07 04:44:29 AM
I totally misread the name as Patrick Stewart.
 
2010-02-07 04:44:49 AM
soseussme: I'm lucky I decided to be heterosexual at a young age. I didn't even think about it much. In fact, you could almost say it wasn't even a choice.

Of course it's a choice. The sight of a throbbing man-sabre makes my inner thighs shudder, like it does every man, and I choose not to act on it.

Likewise, the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

This is how everyone is.
 
2010-02-07 04:49:48 AM
Bungles:

Likewise, the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

This is how everyone is.


You know, I had never dry heaved when doing that before, but now that I've read your post and I've got that mental image stuck in my head, I just may in the future.

Thanks a lot :(
 
2010-02-07 04:52:07 AM
Nobodyn0se: Bungles:

Likewise, the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

This is how everyone is.

You know, I had never dry heaved when doing that before, but now that I've read your post and I've got that mental image stuck in my head, I just may in the future.

Thanks a lot :(


Just don't leave baby vegitables and stew meat for the next guy.

/Old joke is OLD.
 
2010-02-07 04:52:23 AM
Bungles: Likewise, the chopped-liver and spidercentipede-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

FTFY
 
2010-02-07 04:53:41 AM
Bungles: the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

The trick is to pretend they're week-old oysters -- spoiled, yes, smelly and revolting, yes, and they'll probably make you sick beyond belief for a few days, but you gotta be a MAN about it!
 
2010-02-07 04:53:52 AM
Nobodyn0se: Bungles:

Likewise, the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

This is how everyone is.

You know, I had never dry heaved when doing that before, but now that I've read your post and I've got that mental image stuck in my head, I just may in the future.

Thanks a lot :(


Just hold you nose and think of Brendan Fraser, circa School Ties (especially the shower scene where he wrestles with Matt Damon), like every heterosexual man does when forcing himself to lick the private female intimates.
 
2010-02-07 04:56:05 AM
After looking at some of the traps on asian tgirl sites i thought i might be gay so i looked into craigslist personals and was so disgusted by the things i saw there i realized I'm straight.

oh well looks like I still have to put up with nagging and periods. most of those things are shooped dicks on female models anyway.
 
2010-02-07 04:57:05 AM
I've sucked a few cocks in my time. But I'm not gay. I'm 'prison gay' and I'm faaaabulous in orange!

*drops soap and winks*
 
2010-02-07 04:59:55 AM
Bungles: Of course it's a choice. The sight of a throbbing man-sabre makes my inner thighs shudder, like it does every man, and I choose not to act on it.

Likewise, the chopped-liver and spider-filled slit on women makes me dry heave, like it does every man, and I choose to force myself to bury my face in that lady-garden.

This is how everyone is.


HA!
 
2010-02-07 05:01:41 AM
Do you ever look at the people in headlines like this and think to yourself "I would be better off if all these people were put through a wood chipper"...

/I do
 
2010-02-07 05:03:22 AM
That article was hilarious.
My thoughts:

You can't control if you are gay or not. You are born that way.

Is it a defect? Depends. If you look at it from an evolutionary point of view, yes. You got a bad draw. Maybe there are some genes that need purging.

From a human being point of view, who cares.

From these assholes' point of view, you can't stop it, you can only hope to contain it.

/whatever, go to bed, and love who you love
 
2010-02-07 05:05:24 AM
2and4: Maybe there are some genes that need purging.

We need a solution.

A final one.

(all this has happened before, and will happen again)
 
2010-02-07 05:07:09 AM
It's the patented Ted Haggard Homo Nomo Cure!
 
2010-02-07 05:07:23 AM
2and4: Is it a defect? Depends. If you look at it from an evolutionary point of view, yes. You got a bad draw. Maybe there are some genes that need purging.

Maybe not, from the group selection perspective. Homosexuality increases with over-population in many species.

I know, [citation needed].
 
2010-02-07 05:10:36 AM
Maybe it's less genetic then psychological. Not that it's fixable but something like say your attraction to blondes and asians that goes with tastes merely applied to wieners. Everyone has tastes that differ. It can't be genetic that i like asians cause i'm the first in my family to marry a non blonde.
 
2010-02-07 05:14:08 AM
Bungles: Of course it's a choice. The sight of a throbbing man-sabre makes my inner thighs shudder

It just makes me depressed that I don't have a man-sabre. Mine's more like a spork.
 
2010-02-07 05:25:36 AM
Wow, these people blame everything from freemasonry to neo-natal care for teh gehy.

Would be funny if these weren't supposed to be professional mental health care providers.
 
2010-02-07 05:26:23 AM
You know, I did see a sciency article which claimed that they had found a gene that was only present in gay males (the female one had yet to be found).

/I guess they choose to have the gene
//I'm still imagining the chopped liver, spider (with half eaten baby vegetables and stew meat) filled vagina.
///There's now more in there for the next guy.
 
2010-02-07 05:29:56 AM
Cold1s: 2and4: Is it a defect? Depends. If you look at it from an evolutionary point of view, yes. You got a bad draw. Maybe there are some genes that need purging.

Maybe not, from the group selection perspective. Homosexuality increases with over-population in many species.

I know, [citation needed].


Actually, that's kind what I meant.

Not a scientist here (obviously) but there I'm sure there is a balance. Kind of like global warming.
 
2010-02-07 05:39:34 AM
IT IS A HORMONAL IMBALANCE. Homosexuals have some sort of chemical imbalance.

FACT.
 
2010-02-07 05:44:25 AM
desynch: IT IS A HORMONAL IMBALANCE. Homosexuals have some sort of chemical imbalance.

FACT.


Which is why scientists invented Gay-Away, the only prescription anti-homosexuality medicine!
 
2010-02-07 05:45:39 AM
desynch: IT IS A HORMONAL IMBALANCE. Homosexuals have some sort of chemical imbalance.

FACT.


I don't know, they seem pretty balanced to me.

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2010-02-07 05:47:04 AM
desynch: IT IS A HORMONAL IMBALANCE. Homosexuals have some sort of chemical imbalance.

FACT.


So they should just take HRT? I think you just won a Nobel Prize.
 
2010-02-07 05:48:32 AM
"Mine's more like a spork."

That can't be helped, it's simple genetics. Back in the past when men wore no clothes, if they came charging across the field of battle, who do you supposed got whacked first? The guy carrying a spork or the guy with a swinging salami?
/darwined by salami
 
2010-02-07 05:50:10 AM
Bungles: So they should just take HRT? I think you just won a Nobel Prize.

Alan Turing disagrees.
 
2010-02-07 05:59:38 AM
Ummmm, swinging salamis.
I heard Satan had weekly gay barbecues in hell. I wonder what kinds of marinade?
 
2010-02-07 06:05:00 AM
That's not the only place you find spiders nsfw

/urticating hairs
 
2010-02-07 06:08:13 AM
dogslobber buttlube: Ummmm, swinging salamis.
I heard Satan had weekly gay barbecues in hell. I wonder what kinds of marinade?


Yeah, him and Saddam love to entertain. No marinades just lots of fondue.
 
2010-02-07 06:10:09 AM
WeenerGord: That's not the only place you find spiders nsfw

/urticating hairs


That is either a tiny penis or a HUGE spider. My guess is the first one.
 
2010-02-07 06:17:56 AM
Gwendolyn: WeenerGord: That's not the only place you find spiders nsfw

/urticating hairs

That is either a tiny penis or a HUGE spider. My guess is the first one.


Eww, that was awful. I need to go find a vagina to vomit in.
 
2010-02-07 06:21:23 AM
2and4: Is it a defect? Depends. If you look at it from an evolutionary point of view, yes. You got a bad draw. Maybe there are some genes that need purging.

There is actually strong evidence that it is a positive reproductive element from an evolutionary perspective. Otherwise it would have died out.
Theory is that since genes can express radically differently in males and females, so while people who pass these genes on may have a high tendency toward male offspring that are 'defective' from a reproductive standpoint, those same genes expressing in their female offspring guarantee significant positive reproductive behaviors or physiological traits for child bearing/rearing. (i.e. They are more prone to making more babies than average.)

Hence why those genes keep selecting IN and not out of the population.

[fark Citation] Its too damn late. Go look it up yourselves.
 
2010-02-07 06:22:09 AM
If they can turn away from homosexuality then this in my belief is a good thing. I dont agree that it should be punished but I do think it is against nature as it serves no purpose. I would doubt that many homosexuals can change as it is a mutation or aberation.
 
2010-02-07 06:34:38 AM
BesiktasBoy83: If they can turn away from homosexuality then this in my belief is a good thing. I dont agree that it should be punished but I do think it is against nature as it serves no purpose. I would doubt that many homosexuals can change as it is a mutation or aberation.

You may want to read the post directly above yours, sir.
 
2010-02-07 06:39:40 AM
Shedim: BesiktasBoy83: If they can turn away from homosexuality then this in my belief is a good thing. I dont agree that it should be punished but I do think it is against nature as it serves no purpose. I would doubt that many homosexuals can change as it is a mutation or aberation.

You may want to read the post directly above yours, sir.


Ok I'd rather have normal children not one homosexual boy and one girl that was able to reproduce alot.
 
2010-02-07 06:45:08 AM
Now try to explain the limp wrist,feminine lisping and facial expressions when someone criticizes the way their dressed.
 
2010-02-07 06:45:40 AM
What a sad man, that writer, throwing away a chance for happiness and mocking the heartfelt hope those psychiatrists offered. He will have his comeuppance!
 
2010-02-07 06:47:38 AM
Do I think exploring your sexuality with a trained mental health proffessional would be a good idea if your sexual orientation differs from societies norm? Why yes lets disscuss that.

Does it make sens to try and get you to comply with that norm? Sure why not?

Do I think you need ostracized and criticized for your choices in sexual partners? No, nt unless those partners were unwilling or unable to make competant decisions in accepting you as a sexual partner.

Will I bloody your nose if you keep hittting on me after I tell you no I'm not interested and never will be after you make your first pass? Why yes I will and you are being boorish.
 
2010-02-07 06:48:48 AM
I still can't believe these quacks are able to operate as "therapists."

Every gay person I've known has told me that they've known from puberty that they were attracted to the same sex. If they weren't sure, it was cemented when they started dating the opposite sex. Sorry fundie quacks, there's no farking cure for teh ghey.
 
2010-02-07 06:50:33 AM
img99.imageshack.us

/Yeah, I know, TFA is from the UK
 
2010-02-07 06:50:42 AM
Made MILLIONS being flamboyant. And played a great piano too.

www.bizarrerecords.com
 
2010-02-07 06:51:56 AM
chixdiggit: Gwendolyn: WeenerGord: That's not the only place you find spiders nsfw /urticating hairs

That is either a tiny penis or a HUGE spider. My guess is the first one.

Eww, that was awful. I need to go find a vagina to vomit in.



Careful, they can puke it right back at ya, and splash it all up in your face. You may get hit in the eye with an old forgotten ping pong ball.
 
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