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(Metro)   Man gets pet snake hooked on cigarettes: "He gets very agitated if I don't have any to spare" (with 'I'm Cooler Than All the Other Snakes' pic)   (metro.co.uk) divider line 104
    More: Stupid, hissy fit, Taipei, tobacco products, Thousand Character Classic, UK government, nicotine, begs the question, cigarettes  
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34859 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2010 at 1:46 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-02-02 10:21:02 PM
What the fark is wrong with this snake?

img.metro.co.uk

obama-zone.com

/oh, come on. you know someone was going to do it
 
2010-02-02 10:29:23 PM
I love smoking in public, especially when it is against the law.

I also make sure to throw my butts everywhere I can, preferably in drinking fountains or into the heaps of produce at Safeway.

Right now I'm working on a device that will distribute the smoke smell away from me and my car and will let everyone around me smell it as well.
 
2010-02-02 10:33:30 PM
i495.photobucket.com
 
2010-02-02 10:52:16 PM
We should get all the dangerous animals addicted to cigarettes so they get lung cancer and die. Might be a tricky one to teach the sharks though.
 
2010-02-02 10:54:21 PM
Cubansaltyballs: I love smoking in public, especially when it is against the law.

I also make sure to throw my butts everywhere I can, preferably in drinking fountains or into the heaps of produce at Safeway.

Right now I'm working on a device that will distribute the smoke smell away from me and my car and will let everyone around me smell it as well.


Hey could I bum a smoke? Thanks.
 
2010-02-02 11:21:01 PM
Demetrius: /oh, come on. you know someone was going to do it

Yeah, I'm late, but I did it anyway:

i159.photobucket.com
 
2010-02-02 11:21:55 PM
wtfisthat: Hey could I bum a smoke? Thanks.

I gave my last one to a snake.
 
2010-02-02 11:23:36 PM
Cubansaltyballs: wtfisthat: Hey could I bum a smoke? Thanks.

I gave my last one to a snake.


harsh
 
2010-02-02 11:38:18 PM
Confabulat: We should get all the dangerous animals addicted to cigarettes so they get lung cancer and die. Might be a tricky one to teach the sharks though.

My understanding is that sharks are immune to cancer anyway.
 
2010-02-03 12:19:38 AM
I'M A SNAKE
I'M A SNAKE
SUCK MY... UH...
I'M A SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKKEEEEEE
 
2010-02-03 12:37:34 AM
img109.imageshack.us
 
2010-02-03 12:55:33 AM
He's got a Burgess Meredith thing going on.
 
2010-02-03 01:49:51 AM
img2.moonbuggy.org

/ Oblig
 
2010-02-03 01:52:41 AM
Elektrohed: Image fail/ Oblig

Indeed
 
2010-02-03 01:53:19 AM
FishyFred: SUCK MY... UH...

HEMIPENIS

Yup, its got a hemi.
 
2010-02-03 01:53:27 AM
I'd rather dye: Elektrohed: Image fail/ Oblig

Indeed


HTML fail as well (for me)...
 
2010-02-03 01:54:14 AM
http://208.101.19.88/coolbuddy/PictureGallery/Smoking-Snake.jpg
 
2010-02-03 01:57:21 AM
At least the snake doesn't use chewing tobacco. Flakes and chunks of mice would be spit everywhere...
 
2010-02-03 01:57:37 AM
JerseyTim: He's got a Burgess Meredith thing going on.

I knew someone had to beat me to a Foul Play reference.
 
2010-02-03 01:59:22 AM
farm4.static.flickr.comfarm4.static.flickr.comfarm4.static.flickr.com
atimetochoose.files.wordpress.comatimetochoose.files.wordpress.comatimetochoose.files.wordpress.com

www.tokyomango.com!!www.tokyomango.com!!
 
2010-02-03 01:59:38 AM
FTFComments:
Through my recent research, I've discovered that snakes with human babies than human adults do. This begs the question, why is it ok to give cigarettes to snakes and not to babies? There are a lot of babies in the world, so I can only assume that the sales of tobacco products would rocket if we forced those products into our babies' lungs, then back out again (a basic inhale, exhale action, where the exhale is performed after a sufficient inhale). If any people in the UK Government would like to get in touch with me about lowering the age of smoking to 'fetus', then please don't hesitate.

Dr Charles Manson, A secret ranch where you can't find me, 2/2/2010 14:51


Kind of a nice post. Kind or ruined by the first sentence.
 
2010-02-03 02:01:14 AM
I particularly enjoyed the comments on TFA from Dr. Charles Manson.
 
2010-02-03 02:04:43 AM
FTFComments:
Through my recent research, I've discovered that snakes with human babies than human adults do. This begs the question, why is it ok to give cigarettes to snakes and not to babies? There are a lot of babies in the world, so I can only assume that the sales of tobacco products would rocket if we forced those products into our babies' lungs, then back out again (a basic inhale, exhale action, where the exhale is performed after a sufficient inhale). If any people in the UK Government would like to get in touch with me about lowering the age of smoking to 'fetus', then please don't hesitate.

Dr Charles Manson, A secret ranch where you can't find me, 2/2/2010 14:51

Panty Sniffer:Kind of a nice post. Kind or ruined by the first sentence.


Well, I am truly sorry for your lots.
 
2010-02-03 02:06:09 AM
Since snakes don't inhale and exhale like humans do (i.e. not as many times per minute) I can hardly imagine a snake "smoking". What I can imagine is that the snake's owner is seriously retarded.
 
2010-02-03 02:07:07 AM
www.lolgamers.com

Give it a cigarette and a keyboard and you can call it a farker.
 
2010-02-03 02:09:19 AM
The pic made me lol. A new Fark classic.
 
2010-02-03 02:10:33 AM
Oznog: Panty Sniffer:Kind of a nice post. Kind or ruined by the first sentence.

Well, I am truly sorry for your lots.


.... wasn't that on the news this mrohing?
 
2010-02-03 02:12:18 AM
i228.photobucket.com

approves.
 
2010-02-03 02:13:38 AM
One time, I gave my snake some beer. He was slithering this way and that. He was all farked up.
 
2010-02-03 02:14:16 AM
I wish today's "journalist" could learn to do research before releasing a story for the world to read. It's not a pit viper, which is highly venomous...its a Taiwanese beauty snake, a non-venomous constrictor distantly related to our own North American rat snakes.

Google is ur friend!

Ex.1 "Pit Viper" (Image courtesy of Google Search)
www.beersteak.com

Doesn't look anything like the snake he pictured.
 
2010-02-03 02:14:53 AM
i176.photobucket.com

Different snake.
 
2010-02-03 02:17:35 AM
www.files32.com


/first thing i thought of.
//as in the final boss.
 
2010-02-03 02:20:44 AM
media.giantbomb.com

SNAKE? SNAKE? SNNNNNNNAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE!!!
 
2010-02-03 02:23:55 AM
mandingueiro: /first thing i thought of.
//as in the final boss.


My brother and I spent a holiday in France pumping 5 franc pieces into that machine until we completed it.

Yah, cool story, I know.

Also, we should have more pictures of animals smoking. I want to see a pipe smoking kangeroo.
 
2010-02-03 02:30:27 AM
img714.imageshack.us

Pops caught snake smokin' and he said "no wai!"
That hippicrab smokes two packs a day
 
2010-02-03 02:32:10 AM
cYn21: One time, I gave my snake some beer. He was slithering this way and that. He was all farked up.

Farking shiat, man.
 
2010-02-03 02:35:08 AM
You have to die from something. Waiting until the bones start crumbling, I think, would suck.

skeptisys.files.wordpress.com
Smoke!
 
2010-02-03 02:36:24 AM
Ask cool as that picture is I'm not convinced.
I owed a Vietnamese blue beauty rat snake, a very close relative of that Taiwanese one there and own about 15 other snakes. Generally snakes breath through their nose, breathing though their mouth is a sign of respiratory infection. Second, with these asian rat snakes part of their "I'm a little pissed off" reaction (and they are generally grumpier than most domestic snakes) is to sit with their mouth wide open all coiled back and ready to strike, It would be really easy to stick a cigarette in their mouth. Since it would probably get stuck on one their very small but sharp teeth I would be hard for the snake to spit out and they might just sit there and let it hang out their mouth.
If it really did just go over to a but and grab it and hold it it may have been because of the heat, not because the snake wants to warm up (asian rat snakes actually need a cool temperature) but because it mistook it for food. I know my carpet python will strike at an open flame but I don't know how het sensitive a Taiwanese beauty rat snake is.
The above corn snake picture is great.
 
2010-02-03 02:37:02 AM
cYn21: One time, I gave my snake some beer. He was slithering this way and that. He was all farked up.

I'm sure it was. Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus.
 
2010-02-03 02:41:02 AM
fragMasterFlash: Pops caught snake smokin' and he said "no wai!"
That hippicrab smokes two packs a day


img59.imageshack.us
 
2010-02-03 02:42:22 AM
Hi, I'm retarded. Also, I'm an English news source.
 
2010-02-03 02:44:02 AM
Actually, the coolest snake ever...
img.youtube.com
 
2010-02-03 02:49:19 AM
That is the coolest snake ever.

And given a snake's inherent coolness, that is saying something.+

Like an Interior Crocodiel Alligator
 
2010-02-03 02:52:29 AM
Ashtrey: TLike an Interior Crocodiel Alligator

Never seen that version... what movie is that?
 
2010-02-03 02:53:23 AM
jingks: Never seen that version... what movie is that?

Ah, that's "successful" Rimmer, isn't it?
 
2010-02-03 03:03:42 AM
www.scifi-universe.com

COOL SNAKE, BRO
 
2010-02-03 03:11:08 AM
jingks: jingks: Never seen that version... what movie is that?

Ah, that's "successful" Rimmer, isn't it?


No, thats Ace Rimmer.

What a guy.
 
2010-02-03 03:19:54 AM
I think were hitting win capacity...
 
2010-02-03 03:20:12 AM
Came for the Foul Play reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2010-02-03 03:28:07 AM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2010-02-03 03:30:32 AM
shower_in_my_socks: The pic made me lol. A new Fark classic.

img23.imageshack.us
 
2010-02-03 04:05:52 AM
wiki.bmezine.com

I'm gonna hit that cop right between the eyes, after this song is over.
 
2010-02-03 04:09:51 AM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2010-02-03 04:18:26 AM
Next: Snakes on crack.

Could it happen to you?
 
2010-02-03 04:27:37 AM
i478.photobucket.com
 
2010-02-03 04:29:31 AM
Somewhere, Joe Camel nefariously chuckles.
 
2010-02-03 04:33:05 AM
www.tonyknox.org.uk

RIP Jake the Snake.
 
2010-02-03 04:37:57 AM
Flissss: i49.tinypic.com

THIS:

i49.tinypic.com


sweet baby jesus
 
2010-02-03 04:56:57 AM
The best part about the article is the comment from the typical, highly intelligent, British reader:


------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all my time reading the interesting articles of metro, of the amount of time i have put into commenting, i have never heard anything to not only repulse me to my core but also to upset my own 2 eyes, I just cant Understand how not only u can get your pet snake to smoke on a ciggie, but to also waste your stash on a fetus when its still unable to enjoy the smooth warm feeling as it hits ur lungs is absurd!!!! I aint sharing my smokes with no man, women, snake, child or even a frickin hippopotimus, I love mi ciggies i do

bernard butler, royston vasey, 2/2/2010 15:32
 
2010-02-03 04:57:06 AM
JerseyTim: He's got a Burgess Meredith thing going on.

Those Amazing Animals. Favorite.

fragMasterFlash: Pops caught snake smokin' and he said "no wai!"
That hippicrab smokes two packs a day


I like the cut of your crab-jib, sir! Also, I have a picture remarkably similar to that one taken in West Philly, where'd you get yours?
 
2010-02-03 05:12:56 AM
www.winterface.org
 
2010-02-03 05:12:57 AM
When will PETA chime in?
 
2010-02-03 05:23:41 AM
Oznog: !!!!

You sir are now my hero

/Snake! its a snake ooooh its a snake its a badger badger ....
 
2010-02-03 05:25:16 AM
LonMead: Actually, the coolest snake ever...

Don't tell this guy that
www.publishersweekly.com
 
2010-02-03 05:51:37 AM
I'm tired of all these Motherf*ckin snakes smoking these Motherf*ckin cigarettes.
 
2010-02-03 05:53:30 AM
I no longer smoke (I'm not bragging, I just woke up smart one day) but when I did, I never smoked around my pets or any of my friends and families pets. Same with kids and non smokers. Yeah, I used to spend lots of time alone standing out in the back yard.

I just wonder: how many of you Farkers smoke around your pets? I don't know if pets can be harmed by second hand smoke, but I never wanted to find out. Nothing worse than sitting with your nice dog, cat, ferret or what have you and smelling stale cigarette smoke on their fur. I just think it's mean to expose the critters to something they have the good sense not to go near.

I was at a party once and some stupid stoner I know was blowing pot smoke into a cats face, trying to get it high. I grabbed his greasy lanky hair and smacked him a good one in the chops. I know, I shouldn't have hit him, but it made me so g.d. mad watching that poor animal struggling to get away from the smoke.
 
2010-02-03 06:17:50 AM
JerseyTim: He's got a Burgess Meredith thing going on.

First thing I thought of...tried to name one of my kids Esme....
 
2010-02-03 06:34:32 AM
NEDM: jingks: jingks: Never seen that version... what movie is that?

Ah, that's "successful" Rimmer, isn't it?

No, thats Ace Rimmer.

What a guy.


My man Ace is very, very brave.
 
2010-02-03 06:44:50 AM
img715.imageshack.us

/Is down with that.
 
2010-02-03 06:53:16 AM
T-Boy: The best part about the article is the comment from the typical, highly intelligent, British reader:


------------------------------------------------------------------
Of all my time reading the interesting articles of metro, of the amount of time i have put into commenting, i have never heard anything to not only repulse me to my core but also to upset my own 2 eyes, I just cant Understand how not only u can get your pet snake to smoke on a ciggie, but to also waste your stash on a fetus when its still unable to enjoy the smooth warm feeling as it hits ur lungs is absurd!!!! I aint sharing my smokes with no man, women, snake, child or even a frickin hippopotimus, I love mi ciggies i do

bernard butler, royston vasey, 2/2/2010 15:32


Royston Vasey is the fictitious town where "The League of Gentlemen" takes place. Bernard Butler is the guitar player from Suede. I wouldn't take that comment entirely too seriously.
 
2010-02-03 07:22:24 AM
www.dailycognition.com

Um, I think you're doing it wrong... where's your snake?
 
2010-02-03 07:46:42 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

I'll see your snake and raise you a stoned iguana.
 
2010-02-03 07:52:43 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Confabulat: We should get all the dangerous animals addicted to cigarettes so they get lung cancer and die...

You mean like the dinosaurs?
 
2010-02-03 07:54:57 AM
I'm gonna teach my trouser snake to smoke.
 
2010-02-03 07:55:17 AM
spnartie: I'm tired of all these Motherf*ckin snakes smoking these Motherf*ckin cigarettes.

lol!


/well done
 
2010-02-03 08:05:28 AM
This thread is making me want a cigarette.

I don't get why anyone would even try this. Cigarettes are expensive as hell, there's no farking way I'm sharing mine with a snake.

No you can't have one either. Back off.
 
2010-02-03 08:39:21 AM
Poppa Boner: I'm gonna teach my trouser snake to smoke.

That's easy, jerk off in an extremely dry environment without any lube what so ever. It will start to smoke (from the friction).



Also pet snakey with ciggy is a cutie.
 
2010-02-03 08:43:12 AM
blog.pennlive.com

//The funny thing is that we already have a robot groundhog.
//Gus is currently the second most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania.
 
2010-02-03 08:43:55 AM
Awesome...wrong thread!!!
 
2010-02-03 08:52:24 AM
dprathbun: When will PETA chime in?

This!

It is so obvious that a robot should replace the snake.

/Robot snakes are trying to take over the world.
gadgetscrunch.com
 
2010-02-03 09:20:18 AM
StoPPeRmobile: /Robot snakes are trying to take over the world.

Whoa! I f*cking want one of those!
 
2010-02-03 09:20:52 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com

You stole mah cigs!
 
2010-02-03 09:32:43 AM
NEDM: jingks: jingks: Never seen that version... what movie is that?

Ah, that's "successful" Rimmer, isn't it?

No, thats Ace Rimmer.

What a guy.


Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
 
2010-02-03 09:40:09 AM
mofomisfit: NEDM: jingks: jingks: Never seen that version... what movie is that?

Ah, that's "successful" Rimmer, isn't it?

No, thats Ace Rimmer.

What a guy.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.


Soup-er!
 
2010-02-03 09:47:14 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
Unimpressed.
/hotlinked
 
2010-02-03 10:29:53 AM
Oznog: !!!!

www.dahmus.org
 
2010-02-03 10:56:12 AM
I had this snake one time and red it some beer, it slithered this way and that. It was all farked up.
 
2010-02-03 10:56:55 AM
That is so cool man I wish I had a smoking snake
 
2010-02-03 11:23:10 AM
Gyrfalcon: Since snakes don't inhale and exhale like humans do (i.e. not as many times per minute) I can hardly imagine a snake "smoking". What I can imagine is that the snake's owner is seriously retarded.

The guy is probable related to the family that claims their snake woke them up to alert them to a fire in their home.

/The snake was also heard singing, ♫"Me and my Winsssssstons, we gotta a real good thing".♬
 
2010-02-03 11:50:16 AM
OMG kill me, I actually laughed at the "hissy fit" pun. WTF is wrong with me!? This has never happened before.
 
2010-02-03 11:56:40 AM
i26.photobucket.com
Approves



/Ever notice that Joe Camels nose is kind of NSFW?
 
2010-02-03 11:58:44 AM
i26.photobucket.com
not impressed
 
2010-02-03 12:13:43 PM
The United States is a non-smoking nation! No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no women - unless you're married - no foul language, no red meat!
 
2010-02-03 12:19:03 PM
Oldiron_79: The United States is a non-smoking nation! No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no women - unless you're married - no foul language, no red meat!

I know that Taiwan is a close ally, but I don't think they are part of the US yet.
 
2010-02-03 12:21:50 PM
NEDM: Oldiron_79: The United States is a non-smoking nation! No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no women - unless you're married - no foul language, no red meat!

I know that Taiwan is a close ally, but I don't think they are part of the US yet.


I was quoting Escape from LA.
 
2010-02-03 12:46:17 PM
RockofAges: Sounds like you're real fun at parties. Try that around this town sometime and you'll get your ass knocked down and tossed out right quick.

Nothing worse than a self-righteous ex-smoker.


So wait, are you really defending holding an animal down and blowing pot smoke in its face, and attacking the decision not to smoke cigarettes around animals? Because I'm not sure those are positions worth holding, honestly.
 
2010-02-03 12:50:24 PM
img691.imageshack.us
 
2010-02-03 01:09:10 PM
Late to the party, but:

Dodongo dislike smoke.
 
2010-02-03 02:33:11 PM
Onkel Buck: /Ever notice that Joe Camels nose is kind of NSFW?

Whoa.*FAP FAP FAP* Uh, I mean, I am disappoint.
 
2010-02-03 03:06:06 PM
Holy shiat I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a long time
 
2010-02-03 03:25:28 PM
Oldiron_79: NEDM: Oldiron_79: The United States is a non-smoking nation! No smoking, no drugs, no alcohol, no women - unless you're married - no foul language, no red meat!

I know that Taiwan is a close ally, but I don't think they are part of the US yet.

I was quoting Escape from LA.


Ah. My fail, then.
 
2010-02-03 04:13:10 PM
Elektrohed: / Oblig

Fail.
 
2010-02-03 06:32:44 PM
img29.imageshack.us

/i know, it needs more cigarettes... but still
 
2010-02-03 07:55:43 PM
Poowaddins: I wish today's "journalist" could learn to do research before releasing a story for the world to read. It's not a pit viper, which is highly venomous...its a Taiwanese beauty snake, a non-venomous constrictor distantly related to our own North American rat snakes.

Google is ur friend!

Ex.1 "Pit Viper" (Image courtesy of Google Search)


Doesn't look anything like the snake he pictured.



I came here to say the same thing. Thank you.
 
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