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(Yahoo)   "People are more likely to be injured by a hamster than by a shark"   (story.news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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44 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2003 at 10:54 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



175 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2003-04-15 12:09:16 AM  
My sisters had pet sharks and one of them bit me once just because it became aggressive after it smelled the scent of the other shark. They used to escape from their aquariums with their cheeks all stuffed full of sunflower seeds as if they had packed for a little shark vacation or something. They may have been hampsters actually. I sometimes get those two confused.
 
2003-04-15 12:09:27 AM  
Mme.Mersault

Me neither.
 
2003-04-15 12:11:24 AM  
With a tip of the hat for Tomasso's awesome post.

"I'll catch this hamster for you, but it ain't gonna be easy..."
[image from 66.221.157.51 too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:11:39 AM  
Hockey guy: Joe Cartoon loves "gerbils" not evil basatard hamsters. Be nice to Richard "the human habitrail" Gere, one of some countries finest actors
 
2003-04-15 12:12:58 AM  
My sister was bitten by a mooose.
 
2003-04-15 12:13:47 AM  
On the other hand shark tastes great.
Can't make much of a meal out of hamsters.
 
2003-04-15 12:14:00 AM  
No seriously!
 
2003-04-15 12:14:14 AM  
Picodenico "Being a fan of sharks, having not read the article, and having done numerous lengthy speeches on why sharks have one of the worst raps among animals..."

Being a fan of sharks, as you are, I would think you'd know they aren't animals. They're fish, which is a completely different family of organisms.
 
2003-04-15 12:15:05 AM  
(Waiting for photoshopped Monty Python 'killer hamster')
 
2003-04-15 12:18:45 AM  
On a side note, Richard Dreyfus is the world's most annoying man.

"I WAS IN JAWS!!!"

Best..SNL...Sketch...Ever
 
2003-04-15 12:19:51 AM  
Oops, I did spell it with a P. I meant hamper. I sometimes get those confused.
/getting more confused
 
2003-04-15 12:20:05 AM  
Glasgowsfinest

Either because they're stupid, or they've watched Hampsterdance too many times. And it's spelled Hampster on Hampsterdance because the hamster who "owns" the site's name is Hampston Hampster. He chooses to spell his name that way.
 
2003-04-15 12:21:01 AM  
When we moved into my warehouse there was an air compressor there. It had this cutoff if something got stuck in it. We disabled the cutoff and switched it on. Next thing we know it fired a dead hampster like 40 feet across the room and hit one of our guys. Does that count?
 
2003-04-15 12:23:32 AM  
[image from 216.136.200.194 too old to be available]
[image from 216.136.200.194 too old to be available]
[image from 216.136.200.194 too old to be available]
[image from 216.136.200.194 too old to be available]
[image from 216.136.200.194 too old to be available]


Seems as good a time as any to run all the Gere/Gerbil photoshops I have hosted on Picturestage at once.
 
2003-04-15 12:24:47 AM  
Tonyrockyhorror -

You must have been thar that day on the beach, with the men of the Minneapolis. I don't know how else you could have pictured it so uncanny-like.

I still ha'e nightmares about that incident, and by me bedside is the canteen I had that day - part of the canvas nearly nibbled through by the li'l bastards.

Cute and cuddly, my auntie's arse.
 
2003-04-15 12:25:17 AM  
04-15-03 12:14:14 AM Epsilon
Picodenico "Being a fan of sharks, having not read the article, and having done numerous lengthy speeches on why sharks have one of the worst raps among animals..."

Being a fan of sharks, as you are, I would think you'd know they aren't animals. They're fish, which is a completely different family of organisms.
Please tell me you're being sarcastic. Maybe you're the same person from my 4th grade class that tried to convince me people aren't animals, they are mammals. I couldn't even reason that every other mammal she knows is an animal and we are as well.
 
2003-04-15 12:27:50 AM  
"I would think you'd know they aren't animals. They're fish,"

Uh, fish ARE animals, dude. same as mammals, amphibians, insects and birds. Did you think they were PLANTS, fungi or virii perhaps?
 
2003-04-15 12:27:55 AM  
Moleman, and it looks cool.
 
2003-04-15 12:28:54 AM  
"Being a fan of sharks, as you are, I would think you'd know they aren't animals. They're fish, which is a completely different family of organisms."

Interesting. Being a fan of animal classification, as you are, I would think you'd know that 'animal' describes a kingdom, not a family.
 
AGB
2003-04-15 12:31:24 AM  
My hamster, Fang, was really tame. Smart, too. She was housebroken.
 
2003-04-15 12:35:17 AM  
[image from vampiregerbil.com too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:35:31 AM  
Hey I think a hamster hacked your homepage...april fools...

You know, I'm more likely to be injured by a Homestar than a hamster...

That guy is dangerous...

[image from ccchronicle.com too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:39:37 AM  
That's no ordinary hamster!

[image from filmwise.com too old to be available]

LOOK AT THE BONES!
 
2003-04-15 12:40:31 AM  
Stop it! Fish are plants, which were dinosaurs before the birds were. And sharks are just soup. So stop it!
 
2003-04-15 12:43:40 AM  
You will be begging for Gerbster!

[image from princeton.edu too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:44:40 AM  
Sharks are people too! just ask Sharksandwich.
 
2003-04-15 12:46:22 AM  
[image from hamster.co.jp too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:48:05 AM  
04-15-03 12:25:17 AM Louiedog
Please tell me you're being sarcastic. Maybe you're the same person from my 4th grade class that tried to convince me people aren't animals, they are mammals. I couldn't even reason that every other mammal she knows is an animal and we are as well.


Please tell me YOU'RE being sarcastic. "Animals" are everything from sponges to fish to insects to us. They ain't plants, they ain't fungi, they ain't virii, and they ain't one-celled organisms (which I forget the family name for), so, guess what? They're animals. Do I need to convince you that every fish you know is an animal now?

I hate it when stupid people try to be condescending.
 
2003-04-15 12:48:23 AM  
[image from cinefantastico.com too old to be available]
"Hamsters! Hamsters! Hamsters! Thousands of them! MILLIONS of them!!"
 
2003-04-15 12:52:17 AM  
PS: INVADER ZIM ROCKS!
[image from slavelabor.com too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 12:53:10 AM  
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a card-board tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so i peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot up the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball."
Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
Armageddon!
 
2003-04-15 12:53:44 AM  
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac & Squee > Other JV stuff > Invader Zim

This is the accepted heirarchy. You will conform now.

That is all.
 
2003-04-15 12:58:30 AM  
RoguePixie
I'd take a gerbil over a shark anyday. Of course, I'm impartial. In the summer of 1976, I was almost 3, and on vacation in Hawaii with my family. I was in the ocean with my brothers when I was bitten by a 3-foot tiger shark on the back of my right leg. He bit clear through my hamstring muscle. Long story short....189 stitches later and my leg is OK, but I won't set foot near a natural body of water....EVER!!!!

That was no shark- that wasme. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
 
2003-04-15 01:06:51 AM  
HeartBurnKid,
Maybe you were just confused because I'm lazy and didn't bold the other guy's text. I was responding to something stupid someone said about fish not being animals. You should read more of the thread from now on, a bunch of other people responded to the same guy. I did nothing to you and you were just confused, with reason, so please don't treat me like shiat. I'll try to segment what they said from what I said better next time. In the meantime lighten up, there's no reason for shiat like that.
 
2003-04-15 01:06:52 AM  
Why did this article get the "UNLIKELY" tag?

I can't even begin to count the number of people I have known to be bitten by their pet hamster or similar.

I have never know anyone [personally] to have a encounter with a shark, much less a bad one.

[Of course, if you want to be metaphysicial about it. There may have been someone I was to have met, but they did not survive the shark attack in the first place.]
 
2003-04-15 01:15:58 AM  
More people are also exposed to hamsters on a daily basis then they are sharks. Im sure if the number of people who were exposed to sharks on a daily basis like a hamster their would be a LOT more reports of injury.
 
2003-04-15 01:25:27 AM  
Hmmm, I think that people are likely injured by hamsters if they are inserting them in certain places.
 
2003-04-15 01:34:03 AM  
Bit of trivia: If you step on a hamster just right, his head will shoot across the room.
 
2003-04-15 01:41:56 AM  
Gerbils > Hamsters... Why? Hamsters are noctournal and will bite when you wake them up during the day. Gerbils are awake during the day and rarely bite. Gerbils don't eat or drink much, so they don't produce much urine or feces per day. This makes cleaning a gerbil cage easier than a hamster cage since the hamsters shiat and piss everywhere. Hamsters are solitary animals, where as gerbils work well in groups.

I'm bored...

Rats > Hamsters Why? Other than because I said so, rats are more intelligent and social. Rats hardly ever bite. It is possible to keep more than one rat in a single cage, and rats can be introduced to other rats once they reach maturity. If you want to put two or more hamsters together, they mostly have to be the same age and from the same litter or else they'll fight. Hamsters suck.

Degus > Hamsters Why? The ability to say that you own a ground squirrel beats the hell out of a ball of fluff anyday. Also, I can't think of any other cool small animals... hmmm...

Mice Hamsters Why?

[image from lolli.org too old to be available]
 
2003-04-15 01:45:49 AM  
I forgot to add that gerbils do lose a few points because of what I like to call the "gay factor," but still they are better than hamsters.

I heard someone say once, "If a friend owns a hamster, he's an okay friend, but if a friend owns a gerbil... get a new friend."
 
2003-04-15 01:48:21 AM  
and I just realized that part of my Boobies is gone... should have been...

mice < hamsters why? I hate mice

kissing raver chicks > hamsters why? then the pic...


I suck

time to die...
 
2003-04-15 01:49:01 AM  
 
2003-04-15 01:49:28 AM  
damn it, Boobies, not boobies...

damn filter

time to die again...
 
2003-04-15 01:50:41 AM  
Remember that episode of Happy Days when Fonzie jumped the hamster?
 
2003-04-15 01:50:48 AM  
oh hell, when did the l33t stop working? Boobies!!!!! not boobies, damn it
 
2003-04-15 01:52:01 AM  
damn it, damn it to hell

I quit

you win today, filter, but I'll get you back someday...


someday indeed...
 
2003-04-15 02:16:02 AM  
I think HeartBurn may have had the idea that you were trying to say people weren't animals... I see how (s)he could've been mixed up... but still, it goes without saying. If a human is a mammal...it is an animal. But if the kid was trying to tell you that humans are mammals but NOT animals... well, yeah. They needn't breed.
 
2003-04-15 03:03:36 AM  
eaglesbabyeagles:
this kinda reminds me of a british sketch on tv a few weeks back. picture about 6/7 people in full length wetsuits and BAD aussie accents. one of the guys, the instructor, asks "now, does anyone know the chances u have of getting eaten by a shark?"
one bloke is like "10%?", another "25%?"
and the instuctor is like "good guess. but the actual statistical answer is.....not very high."

so maybe u had to be there.
 
2003-04-15 03:10:10 AM  
I've been bitten by both, it pretty much goes without saying which was worse.
 
2003-04-15 03:31:37 AM  
i thought it was that you were more likely to be killed by getting hit on the head by a falling coconut than by a shark... no shark attacks here this summer (yet), but there have been a couple of drownings, and a few close calls. stupid tourists don't know what riptides are, and don't bother to find out what the big ominous-looking red flags mean.
 
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