Multi-trillionaire Scrooge McDuck died today of an overdose "dead-presidenting" his money...

Although I suppose my argument would be better to just leave speed out of it, since meth is much better known for being rather...hazardous.

Maybe that's why bank tellers get so crabby during slow days. "Willie"....that kills me. Treasury department insider is a good one too. Wouldn't want to get disciplined for letting that cat out of the bag. Go Willie...Go Willie...

/Darryl Strawberry surrenders

So does this mean there are drugs in strippers g-strings?

Bada boom

/damn I really got nothing today why did I not drink last night.

Reminds me of when I was in the Navy. There were three of us living in an apartment, and we needed a buzz, badly. Couldn't do coke or weed, or any of the other traditional phun pharmaceuticals.

It just so happens that we had left the coffe on all day, and there was a thick layer of burned coffee crystalized in the bottom of the pot. Well, we chipped it out of the bottom of the pot, ground some of it up for lines, and then smoked some of it.

Didn't work. You can higher by holding your breath.

Sometimes I worry about getting bad smack on my bills. That's why I've hired batboy to test my bills before I sniff them.

Damn! All I have is Canadian money.

Last time they reported that kids are drinking tap water to get high, sniffing money is a new one to me.

U,

Acid in the eye is an old trick . . . that really works! I can still see, and it's almost thirty years later now, but your mileage may vary.

Expect to get off literally within seconds of placing your hit under your eyelid.

cheers!

I'm having trouble getting this $20 bill in to my cyringe. Someone help. I need it nooooowwwww

murbike- Toothpaste on a cigarette, allow it to completely dry out. Put it in front of a heater or blow dry it. You learn alot of this stuff in the State Penn!

Buster_hymen

Try it as a suppository.

(hey....there's corn on Franklin's cheek!)

Yeah, all my Canadian money smells of is a whiff of Tim Horton's coffee.

Why would you try to snort extacy? You'd have to crush up the convenient pills it comes as. And no good can come of snorting heroin; we all know what happened to Mrs. Mia Wallace.

Toothpaste on a cigarette. Hmmm. Wish I knew about that 15 years ago.

How's the buzz?

El_Swino: Yeah, all my Canadian money smells of is a whiff of Tim Horton's coffee
mmmmmm....Tim's...betcha wanna go get one now though ;)

totse's Better Living Through Chemistry forum.

JiminySquid

That's kinda cute, in a childhood destroying kinda way.

There's no coke!
What?
You heard me you dumb fark, there's no coke!
What the fark do you mean, there's no coke?
I've been up and down this ship. I've been in every farkin room!
There's gotta be coke!
There is nothing! NOTHING!


This movie rocked.

Money is filthy. Anybody who has ever run a register will tell you that. That's why you never, never, never, never touch your face while you're running a register.

I figure every US dollar has traveled across the country under a trucker's butt.

Step 1) Sniff a 50.
Step 2) Go to store, break the 50 for two 20s and a 10.
Step 3) Sniff the 20s and the 10;
Step 4) Go to the store, break the 20s for 10s and the 10 for 5s.
Step 5) Sniff the 10's and the 5s/
Step 6) Go to the store, break the 10s for 5s, break the 5s for 1s.
Step 7) Sniff the ones.

...

Step 20something) Take the ones to the store, ask for a solid 50.

Toothpaste on a cigarette will is basically getting you high from inhaling flouride. It basically makes you feel lightheaded and thats about it. But the side affects is that you get a case of SARS and you die.

Roast beef

Ecstacy takes a while to get up to full effect. Snorting it speeds up this process and gives a more intense rush.

so my friends tell me...

huey dewie and louie unavailable for comment

this is the second-greatest WWN image ever.



if i were one of the interns they got to pose for this pic, i'd try to cover as much of me face as possible too.

money also is probably the most germ infested things there are. Think how often money switches hands. People have colds, diseases, they don't wipe their ass then go buy a slurpee, stuff like that. But then think of all the cash that got to strippers, maybe that's a good think. Sniff, I think I smell Bubbles and Sunshine, and wait, wait, oh christ, and someone's ass.

...and for all this time I've been wiping my ass with 20s - if only i'd known better.

It feels good on the bum though.

Dood, i just got a wicked buzz off my credit card.

seein hobo's getting high offa ass pennies.

one or two threads here have suggested to me that some people take the WWN at least a little bit seriously, so I must ask:

Does anyone here know if this still happens - I haven't been in toronto in a few years.

On a toronto talk radio show ( http://www.cfrb.com/ ), John Oakley (on the air as I write this) would have the editor of the Weekly World News on once a week or once a month - I forget.

So anyways, it was always a highlight and funny as hell - the guy talked kinda like John Waters, but a bit more, er, manly, and played it straight (no pun intended) no matter how bizarre his 'reports' might be. Anyone who heard that would know this newspaper is even more of a joke than the onion and should be appreciated as such.

When I did ectasy (years ago, I stopped after the full realization that kids were having seizures and dying from the shiat), we used to always crush the pills and snort them, in small bumps throughout the night. We'd go through like 2 or 3 pills a piece in a night, but it kept you on a constant roll; you could always head to the bathroom if you started to come down.

Yes, it burned and left a nasty taste in your throat, especially if it was cut with too much meth (a "speedy" pill for you other druggies out there). I also knew people who stuck the pill up their ass and got high that way :-S

anything from weekly world news shouldn't get an obvious tag

"I also knew people who stuck the pill up their ass and got high that way."

Uh huh. And that's why they call you "Candypants"?

Emperor-Jay, you do realize that you are getting worked up about a tabloid? A newspaper that makes a living on writing things that clearly aren't true? Just checking...

Ass pennies will get you high kids.

"And no good can come of snorting heroin; we all know what happened to Mrs. Mia Wallace."

Yeah, she mistook the highest quality herion for cocaine. Heroin can be snorted, and is quite effective when done that way in small amounts. Not near the amounts that one would snort of cocaine. Thing is, there isn't much of a casual user when it comes to heroin.

Pretty much any drug can be snorted or put up your ass, not that I suggest that or anything.....

Howcome the BBspot stories get the 'Satire' tag but the WWN ones get things like 'Obvious', 'Strange' ?

If the Weekly World News says it, it's true.

Me at bank - "Yes, I would like to cash my paycheck. Could you give that back to me in all "ones"? No, I'm not going to strip clubs. I just want to sniff them all."

"Shockingly, teens as young as 13 have been caught dead-presidenting at school, typically sniffing $1 and $5 bills."

wouldn't it be smarter to do this with big bills(i e 20's or 100's) bc dealers wouldnt exchange small bills, unless its done by computer now.

"I also knew people who stuck the pill up their ass and got high that way"

Reminds me of the opium suppository bit in Trainspotting.... heh heh. That bit was funny.

Tre_bumpn: Yeah, I know she thought it was coke. But I stand by my statement; no good can come of snorting heroin, or injecting it either.

Exactly how far up one's ass would one have to stick stuff so that's it's absorbed? It seems like you'd have to reach the intestines.

<off topic sorta>

I can't believe what I just saw, I (being lazy) am doing my taxes right
now using TaxCut. I'm doing the registration process and it's got this
little survey. I think some programmer got something in at the last
minute. For the question:

"What magazines are you currently reading?"

There were only six checkboxes:

+ Wall Street Journal
+ U.S. News and World Report
+ Economist
+ Forbes
+ Time
+ Weekly World News

</off topic>

Well, yeah, no good can come out of heroin, but one can get high easily by snorting it.

The entire intestinal tract is like one giant sponge for anything that goes through it. Drugs are actually absorbed more easily through the walls of the intestines than through the mucus membranes.

has anyone ever done a study to see how much boobies resideu is on the average dollar?

what about butt crack residue? poontang residue?

inquiring minds want to know.

And what does the Treasury dept do with all that smack that they wash off the bills.... hmmmm???

i'll smoke my mary jane rolled in bills from now on. i guess the bigger the bill, the more cash the ballin cokehead had, so ill start with fifties. then move up to hundreds, and then kick myself for not just buying real drugs with the money. then ill listen to some ozzy or priest and kill myself. ...oh, wait. kurdt was my generations' famous suicide. bah. whatever.
besides. knowing my luck, the first bill id sniff woulda gone straight from the mint to some shiatty male strippers sweaty g-string. think about that when you sniff your money, losers!

geeze that is an old one, they first ran this story in '85
I recall it fondly because people actually believed it then.