What the hell, cracked?! This ain't no list!

Regardless, I have what I think is exactly $3.50, and with relief, I see that the lady has recovered from her mid-shop crotch explosion and is now ready to serve me, so I give her the Hungry Man and then groan with exhausted exasperation as I see $3.80 appear on the screen.

Mother of god is that annoying.

Why, f*cking WHY can you not just put the full g*ddamn price on items in America. Jesus tap dancing Christ already. So what if there's no VAT, it's not like the local tax changes on a f*cking daily basis.

What's an electric kettle?

what a farking crybaby

Funnily enough, I was reading this yesterday and considered submitting it here with the exact same headline, because it was the first Cracked article that actually made me laugh in a while.

Alas, you bested me, subby.

/I also enjoyed "I'm going to assume they are five cent pieces because they're the smallest, although Christ knows British currency is no yardstick for this. I should just be glad I'm in a country that uses the decimal system: Until 1971, Britain's currency was base-16 and the principal unit was the Goat."

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: Why, f*cking WHY can you not just put the full g*ddamn price on items in America. Jesus tap dancing Christ already. So what if there's no VAT, it's not like the local tax changes on a f*cking daily basis.

Because the same item may be sold (and advertised) in different areas with different tax rates.

If it says $3.50 on the box, that may or may not be the actual price, depending on where you buy it.

Yes, it's annoying. But you compensate.

What century are you living in, New York. In England, no one actually uses launderettes any more. They're charming anachronisms inhabited by doddery old perverts who just need a place to masturbate in the warmth. Most of the machines haven't been switched on since 1959 and many are now comfortable nesting places for owls.

I LOLed.

YRLY.

I notice he didn't say he brushed his teeth.

unheatedgarage: Usually they are so encrusted with mineral deposits they take a while to actually heat said water. By the time it is ready, the whiskey is already gone.

I really was just joking...

FeedTheCollapse: because we can figure 10% (in this case) tax in our heads?

You must live in the one magical place that has an even 10%, because every single place I've lived or bought something in has been either 7.8 or 8.3 or 9.6, etc


YouPeopleAreCrazy: Because the same item may be sold (and advertised) in different areas with different tax rates.

So the fark what? Does that somehow magically prevent you from printing the price inclusive of the local tax rate? It's not like the prices are printed on the damn products at the f*cking factories. They're either stickered on there or listed with a little notecard underneath a group of items.

How complicated is that really? What, afraid people might shop at the cheaper stores where the taxes are less? They do already.

And I can't count the number of times some old hag or a ghetto-dwelling coupon clipper wound up $3.82 short because they didn't do 8.4% x $49.28 in their heads correctly.

Oh, that's so true about the vegetables. How come you yanks don't do fresh food? If I ever wanted a thousand different boxes of sugar masquerading as "breakfast cereal" I was in luck though. Seriously, what is it with you lot and breakfast cereals? There's whole departments devoted to that muck in your supermarkets.

Lord Summerisle: Oh, that's so true about the vegetables. How come you yanks don't do fresh food? If I ever wanted a thousand different boxes of sugar masquerading as "breakfast cereal" I was in luck though. Seriously, what is it with you lot and breakfast cereals? There's whole departments devoted to that muck in your supermarkets.

You shut your whore mouth.

I will defend to the death America's production of Pops, Fruity Pebbles and Honey Nut Cheerios.

Lord Summerisle: How come you yanks don't do fresh food?

You apparently don't go to the right stores if you can't find fresh produce.

The main problem is that he moved to New York.

What an English person might look like:

As a Canadian living in the US I also actually laughed out loud...

English people have been reared on Americana since the day they were born. I spent my toddling years watching Sesame Street, and when I reached the appropriate age of maturity (seven-years old) my sister introduced me to Aliens and Nightmare On Elm Street. As I stumbled through the rest of my "childhood," hollow-eyed and weird, I already understood American slang, and I knew who was a cultural icon in America and who wasn't. We all did.

But it doesn't work both ways.

Yes. Oh yes.

Weird how each country has its own culture...
[most]Brits are total creatures of habit, so much so that every high street in every town is identical - and they take toilet paper and tea on holiday with them.

animal900: What an English person might look like:

What are those symbols that appear after "muff"?

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: What, afraid people might shop at the cheaper stores where the taxes are less?

A shop where taxes are less than other shops around them? You mean law-breaking businesses? Because shops can't unilaterally decide not to apply taxes. Unless shopping at Uncle Enzo's Organicly Fertilized Grocery and Numbers-Racket Emporium is your cup of tea, in which feel free to do so until you are gunned down by the FBI during a raid.

SarahL: Lord Summerisle: How come you yanks don't do fresh food?

You apparently don't go to the right stores if you can't find fresh produce.

The confusion is easy to understand. In England, a "Grocery Store" is the place where you get the boot on your lorry repaired, whereas a "Chippie Trouserarium" is where you buy fresh fruits and vegetables.

The English have a seemingly infinite reservoir of whinge.

Whinge. Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge.

It is, however, their most endearing quality. To see one in full flow is wonderful. And heart-warming, bless.

phalamir: Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: What, afraid people might shop at the cheaper stores where the taxes are less?

A shop where taxes are less than other shops around them? You mean law-breaking businesses? Because shops can't unilaterally decide not to apply taxes. Unless shopping at Uncle Enzo's Organicly Fertilized Grocery and Numbers-Racket Emporium is your cup of tea, in which feel free to do so until you are gunned down by the FBI during a raid.

Yea because stores in say...Kansas City, Kansas....and Kansas City, Missouri, never have totally different tax rates despite being maybe a half mile apart.

Such a thing would never happen since there is no cross-state commerce in the United States.

People who live near state lines never hop across the border to get cheaper fuel. That never happens.

As a quasi-yank living in London I'm getting a kick...
This type of thing never gets old. No sarcasm, it never gets old.

The weirdest ones though:
Think everything is more expensive in London than in the US? Wrong. The two things I can think of right away that are cheaper are loaves of bread ($2.50 minimum in the US, 1.00 pound in the UK), and pesto sauce ($6-7 dollars in the US, 2-3 pounds in the UK).

Also, British people never say "to go", its always "take away". Without fail, I always get strange looks when I say "to go" - other than that I can usually mask the accent enough to get away with seeming 'generic' not 'American'. That gives the game away every single time.

SarahL: Lord Summerisle: How come you yanks don't do fresh food?

You apparently don't go to the right stores if you can't find fresh produce.

Admittedly, I was in Florida. For a fortnight (that's two weeks). I don't think I ate anything fresh at all for two farking weeks. I put on about half a stone (that's seven pounds). By the end I was actually getting angry at the food, these huge mounds of multi-coloured, greasy slop running with fat and weird condiments (powdered bacon?).

Seth'n'Spectrum: loaves of bread ($2.50 minimum in the US, 1.00 pound in the UK),

Who buys bread by the pound?

Obvious tag broken?

My wife strayed into the taxi lane near Victoria Station. The honking of a million cabs produced the mysterious braying sound later heard in NYC.

I came from another country and I can't say I sympathize with this British dude at all. It took me less than 5 minutes to understand that I put half and half into my coffee, 2% or whole milk into my tea, and flush skim milk down the toilet.

By a "cube of Oxo" to make his "stew" I'm guessing he means "bullion." He doesn't know the term bullion and is trying to cook? All you have to ask the clerk at the supermarket and they will kindly direct you to the aisle with a whole selection of farking bullion and other condiments. Then he can't find edible potatoes?? I don't think any other country has as many potato options as America does. What kind of idiot is he? He's an idiot of the 33rd degree.

Now, understanding the Fahrenheit system and inches/feet/miles thing... That's a whole new animal. I don't think I'll ever remember what 25 degrees celsius is in fahrenheit. Or how many meters is 16 feet. I like the ending to the article, though.

Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude: So the fark what? Does that somehow magically prevent you from printing the price inclusive of the local tax rate? It's not like the prices are printed on the damn products at the f*cking factories. They're either stickered on there or listed with a little notecard underneath a group of items.

Lord Summerisle: SarahL: Lord Summerisle: How come you yanks don't do fresh food?

You apparently don't go to the right stores if you can't find fresh produce.

Admittedly, I was in Florida. For a fortnight (that's two weeks). I don't think I ate anything fresh at all for two farking weeks. I put on about half a stone (that's seven pounds). By the end I was actually getting angry at the food, these huge mounds of multi-coloured, greasy slop running with fat and weird condiments (powdered bacon?).

I've seen British fresh food. It has no color because vegetables never see sunlight there.

NEVER EVER buy a sandwich with lettuce there. They like their lettuce sculpted like boats and loaded with something they claim is mayonnaise, but brings to mind the blood of insects. And then the savory part of the sandwich is around the size of a postage stamp and has no taste.

Fresh food in England? What a horrible joke.

Good thing he's not a smoker. Then he'd be biatching about how expensive they are, and how it's so hard to determine where and where not to smoke.

As an American with an English boyfriend, this article made me giggle. We went through each of these points the first time the b/f visited me (except for the car horns, I don't live in NYC). He was also shocked and appalled that restaurants served such enormous portions, and that no one thinks twice about asking for a box to take the leftovers home.

/Owns an electric kettle, drinks tea on occasion.

Llois: As an American with an English boyfriend, this article made me giggle. We went through each of these points the first time the b/f visited me (except for the car horns, I don't live in NYC). He was also shocked and appalled that restaurants served such enormous portions, and that no one thinks twice about asking for a box to take the leftovers home.


The fact that American food is inexpensive and tasty probably floored him.

unheatedgarage: SarahL: What's an electric kettle?

Typically found in hotel rooms, it is used to heat water for the instant coffee packet that is part of your continental breakfast.

Usually they are so encrusted with mineral deposits they take a while to actually heat said water. By the time it is ready, the whiskey is already gone.

Eh get a Japanese hot water dispenser. Hot water on demand, plus the ability to have water at less than boiling temperatures (for white or green tea).

mrapier: what a farking crybaby

QFT. Most of the shiat this wimp "went through" was self-inflicted idiocy.

moondo:
Now, understanding the Fahrenheit system and inches/feet/miles thing... That's a whole new animal. I don't think I'll ever remember what 25 degrees celsius is in fahrenheit. Or how many meters is 16 feet. I like the ending to the article, though.

I had to learn temp conversion because when manuals list the maximum temp for a computer processor, it's always listed in Celcius. So: Fahrenheit = (Celcius * 9/5) + 32. So 40 degrees Celcius equals 104 F, and a processor will burn out above that temp.

/The more no one wants to know...

dead_dangler: In England, a "Grocery Store" is the place where you get the boot on your lorry repaired, whereas a "Chippie Trouserarium" is where you buy fresh fruits and vegetables.

Okay I LOL'ed at that.

sub_harmonic: Good thing he's not a smoker. Then he'd be biatching about how expensive they are, and how it's so hard to determine where and where not to smoke.

The rules are the same and cigarettes cost about the same as in NYC.