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(   Besides wasting your cash, energy drinks are an ample supply of "yeah, I'm awake now" crapola   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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46 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2003 at 5:56 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

97 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-14 12:21:04 AM  
Yeah, but at least they taste bad.
2003-04-14 12:56:05 AM  
Still, if it's a choice on the road between tired people and people fried on caffine, I'll take the latter.
2003-04-14 02:14:29 AM  
OK, expert opinion needed. Oh HPZ, where are you?
2003-04-14 04:42:18 AM  
Gimme a triple grande latte any day of the week....

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-14 06:02:40 AM  
Errk:- Maybe, but their cappuccino is some of the worst I've ever tasted.
2003-04-14 06:03:33 AM  
Yeah, but when the beat is pounding at 135 bpm, you're soaked in sweat and there are 1500 people moving to the percussion as one around you, energy drinks are GOOOOOODDDDD......
2003-04-14 06:04:29 AM  
They taste bad, because that's how they wake you up, by shocking your body into thing "Holy Crap, what the hell have I just put in my mouth"

What I want to know is how did somebody think that a drink that tastes like old goats piss and sewage would sell?
2003-04-14 06:18:58 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Energy drinks will always have a home at LAN Parties.

2003-04-14 06:21:10 AM  
Rockstar is the best! It's 16 ounces and looks like a tallcan, cracks you out big time, is much more "American" (i.e. carbonation and size) than that inferior "I was first introduced in Japanese vending machines" Red Bull, AND turns your piss flourescent. Sure they taste like crap if you don't like diet coke, but they work well. They ain't gonna be legal for that long either, given the huge ephedra paranoia as of late. A couple energy drinks coupled with chain smoking can get you anywhere on a long distance drive. Amphetamines are still cooler, plus they still give 'em to our boys in the military on the long flights. hell, i'm talking like a tweaker that hangs out at Carl's Jr. at 11pm on tuesday nights, maybe i shouldn't be extolling the virtues of energy drinks. they'll save me on the morrow when i'm hungover tho. :P
2003-04-14 06:21:36 AM  
Note: this is a british article...I think the accidents are less related to energy drinks and more to the fact of Wrong side of Road; Wrong side of car!

Disclaimer: This was a joke and only a joke. The preceeding statement was in no way ment to start a flame. Once again this was only a joke...
2003-04-14 06:23:57 AM  
"The KwaZulu-Natal department of transport has set up a hotline for motorists to report bad driving, and the Automobile Association is to launch a campaign to reduce the number of fatalities in the country. Motorists are advised to report bad driving by phoning the Mpimpa hotline on 086 221 1010."

Just how bad do you have to drive in Z.A. to be considered a bad driver? The average daily driving ability is pretty terrible, energy drinks or no energy drinks.

Motorists are advised to report bad driving by phoning the Mpimpa hotline on IVE-CRA-SHED.
2003-04-14 06:24:54 AM  
BAWLS is 1337. But I cant find it anywhere other than my local LAN place.
2003-04-14 06:31:07 AM  
It's not the drinks themselves that are dangerous, it's the crash afterwards that kicks your ass. Once I had to make a 4 or 5 hour road trip after going almost a full day without sleep.

Time for some Red Bull! I drank two in pretty quick succession at the beginning of the drive, and I was buzzin' quite nice...until it wore off during the last 30 minutes. Had to bite my cheeks to stay awake!
2003-04-14 06:35:32 AM  
"Mpimpa hotline." hehehe.
2003-04-14 06:39:58 AM  
2003-04-14 06:43:38 AM  
This is such a common occurance coming home from summer raves out in the middle of nowhere (forests/mountains/farmer's fields/beaches/etc..): the morning after, along the highway coming back there will ALWAYS...and I mean ALWAYS be at least 3 or 4 cars flipped over beyond the side of the road, and a bunch of bewildered, cracked out kids hanging around.

One time we saw a car that completely took out a city mileage sign (y'know, that says: Langley 35 km or something). And those things are huge, with lamps on them and everything. The car smashed right through the legs of it.

As for keeping awake, I guess the drinks help a little. I usually keep a bottle of ephedrine with me for such occasions when its really imperative that I stay awake. They work.

Either that, or a couple lines of crystal methamphetamine.

What's ironic is you all think I'm kidding, don't you?
2003-04-14 06:47:36 AM  
actually, slayer and a pack of marlboros will get you through the night. you just gotta turn the slayer up REALLY loud and keep all the windows down and scream along. actually, any type of fast, loud music will do the trick. for all you xtians out there, try ZAO. same deal, but they sing about jesus, instead of satan. cuz way too much caffeine will fark you up eventually. it will screw with your mind and make you too jittery to drive. actually, it's best to just pull over. hell, park at a rest stop by all the truckers and sleep on top of your car. or in the bed of your truck. seriously, after your body has gotten the minimum amount of sleep to keep going, the noise will wake you back up. two hours later, you're back on the road. or, get some dumb kid to drive all night and load the equipment every night. tell him he's getting those much coveted "hardcore points." they fall for it every time.
2003-04-14 06:50:22 AM  
whoa. people still have raves? i thought that died off big time. that was big when i was in high school. to each his own you know, i went to a few myself, but i thought it didn't survive. well, keep on raving or whatever. is candy still the shiat? god i hated that stuff.
2003-04-14 06:52:48 AM  
Redbull is only good when paired with Yagermeister.
2003-04-14 07:04:21 AM  
Errk.. did you mean this?:

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-14 07:06:19 AM  
Metaljimdeath: no, you tool. Raves have gone back underground where they belong so you and your stupid frat fark buddies (and other undesirable elements who made the commercial scene so unbelievably lame) can't find them anymore. Raves have been around for 20 years, and anyone who says rave is now dead obviously shouldn't have gone to one in the first place.

"If you only look at the surface, a stump might appear dead... but that's only because its life takes place UNDERGROUND. Our roots go deeper than any entrepreneur's hands could hope to dig. You do a great disservice by implying that we cease to thrive the moment the mainstream ceases to recognize us."
--Groovinkim, aka Kimberley Dietemann

(apologies for the threadjack. We now return you to your trucker crack article)
2003-04-14 07:08:42 AM  

The only problem with screaming along with the music is that sooner or later you'll get winded and feel really tired least that's what happens to me. I hear that eating sunflower seeds a mouth-full at a time works, since you're always busy de-shelling the seeds in your mouth or whatever.

What sucks about playing the music for me is that a lot of my CDs don't lend themselves well for such a task. I have lots of Beatles, Pink Floyd and Genesis CDs; those won't do...especially Floyd. Even their "harder" songs just have some quality that knocks me out. But then again, when I'm sleepy there's not much music that will keep me awake. I could have Rob Zombie sitting in the passenger seat yelling at me and it wouldn't do much good. Cold air + cappucino + chain smoking usually works though. I also smack my leg or face hard, that'll work too. I have a friend who will haul off and punch himself in the head as hard as he can when he's trying to stay awake behind the wheel. He's pretty strong too, so I'm sure his skull hates him.

/sleep-deprived rant
2003-04-14 07:08:55 AM  
RB & Jaegermeister?!?!? You gotta be shiatin' me.

That sounds vile.

RB & voddy, nothin' like it.

Hey, but didja know Jaegermeister means "Master Hunter" in German?

Now that's cool.
2003-04-14 07:09:29 AM  
i didn't say they were mainstream. you got it all wrong. but i'll let you win. and i'm not a "stupid frat fvck" either. i know all about underground. but why am i even arguing? you won. i guess.
2003-04-14 07:10:33 AM  
Yeah, but when the beat is pounding at 135 bpm

135 bpm is ok if you want to go to sleep ;)
2003-04-14 07:14:37 AM  
Redbull + any liquor = my vomit.

I think I'll stick to mis margaritas

(note: I AM a female)
2003-04-14 07:16:08 AM  
"I think PETA is funny."

How DARE you! As if people were more important than animals.
2003-04-14 07:16:43 AM  
No, really, Jaegermeister (sorry for mauling the spelling previously) and red bull. Its called a bull blaster. And, yes, they are very vile. 1 Glass Red Bull with shot glass of jaeger dropped in it, downed at once, party all night. (Or until you decorate your shoes.)
2003-04-14 07:17:04 AM  

Check out the selection of energy drinks at ThinkGeek as they sell a bunch of varieties. You can even buy Bawlz by the case.
2003-04-14 07:18:14 AM  

how weird that i JUST changed my profile, too.

I still enjoy its presence in the world.

have a wonderful day! :P
2003-04-14 07:19:23 AM  

Nice tongue.
2003-04-14 07:19:31 AM  
Wish I could remember what it was that climbed from about 90bpm to nearly 300bpm and caused lots of heart attacks in drugged up ravers.

Can't find the damn thing anywhere...

Sure my copy had Clarkee involved somewhere...
2003-04-14 07:21:42 AM  
XFools, sounds like "1000" by Moby
2003-04-14 07:22:53 AM  
I prefer liquid popping to Gangsta rap, myself.
2003-04-14 07:26:59 AM  
I mean.. liquid popping WHILE listening to gangsta rap.
2003-04-14 07:30:14 AM  
As someone who *used* to get paid for being in fancydress in shopping centres at certain times of the year, I've only once had the need to resort to an energy drink.
That was the first time ever I'd had 'red bull'. I worked my butt off in really hot temperatures in a furry costume, praying for my 6 hours to end so I could chill out away from the costume. The downside was that I had problems sleeping for about a week afterwards, but at least during those six hours of knowing how a turkey feels when its wrapped in tinfoil and in an oven, I was able to work at an incredible rate getting my shins whacked by pensioners with an assortment of walking aids and kids with an amazing ability to scream like someone was killing them ringing in my ears... I loved being the Easter Bunny...
but energy drinks? don't need them! gimme a mars bar instead!
2003-04-14 07:30:59 AM  
Cross It amazes me how much that company left itself open to poor jokes.

Especially by coloring the bottles BLUE.

Then again, considering the kind of people that frequent LAN parties, it's only fitting that they party out while holding their blue Bawlz.

"I'm going to get some Bawlz. Want some?"
"Oh, knock that off. It rules and you know it. Now, again, want?"
"Yeah...but make it two. People will laugh if I have just one."
"I hate you."

"I just love the sweet, sweet taste of Bawlz in my mouth!"
"Maybe you should get a new favorite drink..."
"Wha? DOH!"
--Real Life Comics
2003-04-14 07:41:41 AM  
Ishidan, I was going to add something along the lines of "we don't have bawlz here in Canada" but well...
2003-04-14 07:51:15 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-14 08:14:15 AM  
Don't they do Bawlz in chocolate, salty flavour?
2003-04-14 08:23:30 AM  
First you can't drink and drive
Then you couldn't even have a j and drive
Now, no caffeine or reds or ephedra or ma wang
Next thing you know they'll want me to take my coke mirror off the steering wheel.

/gotta make more money so I can buy more coke so I can work longer so I can make more money so I can buy more coke....
2003-04-14 08:27:50 AM  
I don't think Bawlz "left themselves open to poor jokes"

... I think it was the point of naming the product so
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-04-14 08:28:24 AM  
Some states in the US give out free coffee at rest stops
on heavy holiday travel days. Should they distribute
sleeping pills instead?
2003-04-14 08:31:32 AM  
Last time I was in CompUSA they had cases and cases of Bawls stacked up ready for sale.
2003-04-14 08:43:04 AM  
Those crazy africans

Will they ever learn?
2003-04-14 08:47:19 AM  
I heard that this kid in Texas drank a Red Bull and ate some Pop Rocks candy and his stomach exploded
2003-04-14 09:06:17 AM  
Anyone here remember "Jolt Cola?"
Their slogan was, "All the sugar and twice the caffeine."
That was the Red Bull of the 80's.
2003-04-14 09:23:19 AM  
Ah, Jolt. You can still buy it, but it's not as common as it used to be.

If I remember right, Red Bull has about 30% or more caffeine than Jolt. I think about 80 mg per 8 oz.
2003-04-14 09:26:40 AM  
Madpiper, Hell yes, Jolt for the OG 10+ years net users.
2003-04-14 09:29:09 AM  
ahhh Jolt Cola. 20 oz size. Didnt taste all THAT bad if kept ice cold
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