Stupidity breeds stupidity. They should just have them read the bible... oh, wait.

trekkiecougar: skinink: Quick, someone tell them about the Bible passage where Lot slept with his daughters!

Lot didn't "sleep" with his daughters. He had sex with them.

And they instigated it.

But don't expect the holy babble thumpers to share that with their crotch fruit.

Genesis 19:30
Judges 19:22

Don't be afraid to ask your parents what a concubine is.

If kids are beating off to Anne Frank's diary, the solution isn't to get rid of the diary. It's to get the kids a copy of Playboy.

Next, they'll want to ban The Boat Rocker by Terance Mann.

/hot like Amy Madigan
//got Salinger on the brain today

The Icelander

There would probably be copyright issues. Maybe Operation Jeckyll.


They could call themselves 'Team OJ' - it works on multiple levels.

Anne Frank... horny little slut, just the rest of em. Unless you want your daughter to end up like that, don't let her read it... correction -- don't let her read

sgnilward: chuck4455: Not sure how Ann Frank was able to describe a vagina since she couldn't see hers (or anyone elses). Couldn't speak about it either.

/What's up with that?

She was just reading her own lips.

I laughed way too much at this progression.

And now... Daaaaaaaaaaaavid Letterman!

[Applause]

Thank you all... thank you all.. you know, I was out walking in Central Park today... I was out walking in central park, and you know what I saw? I saw a squirrel playing with its vagina!

[Silence]

No, really. Anyway, last night me and my wife, we were trying something spicy. Tobasco sauce. I think the neighbors got upset when I yelled "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

[Silence, Paul goes OOOOOO]

You know, when I was a teenager, my parents got me a cat. They couldn't figure out why I was so angry with them. All I asked for was a little pussy!

[Silence]

FARK YOU ALL *walks out*

And that, my friends, was the real vagina monologues.

And people wonder why I hate religion.

tuffsnake: then someone in the district should put their money where their mouth is, buy a copy for every kid in the district, and pass them out.

I'm not sure I see the problem...

/hot like the hell to which I have a one way ticket

Figures this would have to happen in VA...

/just an FYI: the proper pronunciation of Culpeper is [CUL pep ah]

Here's an idea: I'm sure there's about 50 passages in the bible that are more explicit and perverse. How about you guys get it banned from the library. Or at least get it moved to the adults only section.

They started banning the books ... use their precedent to get one of the most perverse, evil books banned. Would serve them right.

Paris1127: What a way to remember her legacy... This story and this picture.

/can we start a Twilight moral panic?

I am so going to hell for laughing at this.

/you owe me a keyboard, mine's covered in coke
// the drink not the drug

I'm pretty sure it was Napoleon who said that "An army travels on its vagina."

I can't stand people that are afraid of mere knowledge. When I was growing up, the rule in my house was that I could read whatever I wanted, as long as I came to my parents first with any questions. When I was in middle school, my mom gave me a button that said that said "I read banned books." I still have that button, and I'm going to give it to my kids one day.

tuffsnake:

"First off "that's what she said" and second off everyone in the district is putting their money in (including the single people who may or may not intend on having kids but that's a separate argument) and if the majority of them are okay with it and they are putting in the majority of the money what's the problem?"

That argument really has nothing to do with my point.

I wonder if the parent was this guy..



/what i think of when parents get like this
//hallowed are the Ori..
///slashies because i like them

Why do the masses cater to the whims of a few whiney AW's?

Such bullshiat

"She's in the attic!"

/can we start a Twilight moral panic?

About a story where a 140-year-old Satanic pedophile molests a teen girl? How ever could we start a moral panic about that?

mr lawson: "Today is my birthday! Dad bought me a drum kit"

Came for this. Leaving happy.

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

click click clickclickclickclickclickclickclick

Right wingers and fundies are conts- are conts-are conts-are conts-contstant reminders that we all need to keep and open mind.

Plus they are koontz

I'd like to ask Peter whether he knows what girls look like down there. I don't think boys are as complicated as girls. You can easily see what boys look like in photographs or pictures of male nudes, but with women it's different. In women, the genitals, or whatever they're called, are hidden between their legs. Peter has probably never seen a girl up close. To tell you the truth, neither have I. Boys are a lot easier. How on earth would I go about describing a girl's parts? I can tell from what he said that he doesn't know exactly how it all fits together. He was talking about the "Muttermund," but that's on the inside, where you can't see it. Everything's pretty well arranged in us women. Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn't realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn't see them. What's even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris. I asked Mother one time what that little bump was, and she said she didn't know. She can really play dumb when she wants to!

But to get back to the subject. How on earth can you explain what it all looks like without any models? Shall I try anyway? Okay, here goes!

When you're standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things,also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside. They separate when you sit down, and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there's a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That's the clitoris. Then come the inner labia, which are also pressed together in a kind of crease. When they open up, you can see a fleshy little mound, no bigger than the top of my thumb. The upper part has a couple of small holes in it, which is where the urine comes out. The lower part looks as if it were just skin, and yet that's where the vagina is. You can barely find it, because the folds of skin hide the opening. The hole's so small I can hardly imagine how a man could get in there, much less how a baby could come out. It's hard enough trying to get your index finger inside. That's all there is, and yet it plays such an important role!

Yours, Anne M. Frank

Was that part of the newly-discovered section written in ball point pen?

Shouldn't they also pull "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret?" for talking about vaginas and whatnot?

I'm 12 years old and what is this?

/no, really, what is this?
//is it supposed to do that?
///am I gonna die?!

Parents like this make me irate. IRATE. I could rant, but it wouldn't do a damn thing.

Fahrenheit 451

/I got nothin'

//get off my lawn

Lionel Mandrake: I_Am_Weasel: As I understand it, vaginas have nasty, big, pointy teeth.

It's true! (new window)

with gums like that, they'd rot out in a minute.

AirForceVet: eraser8: Well, good, Christian girls don't talk about such things.

oh, wait.

You must be right since Anne Frank was Jewish.

Seriously, Anne's father kept intimate details of his daughter's diary when it was originally released out of modesty and respect for Anne. Keeping them unabridged helps some young girls related better to Anne.

/Can I call the school board and complain their math books are immoral?
//They have all those bisecting angles and obtuse sines.

So . . . are you admitting Papa Frank was as prudish as the Virginia library? Should he be run up and down the flagpole as enthusiastically as these school officials?

Bomus question: does Anne Frank deserve a shred of modesty after death or not?

retrosteve: /can we start a Twilight moral panic?

About a story where a 140-year-old Satanic pedophile molests a teen girl? How ever could we start a moral panic about that?

It was written by a Christian so it's okay. Mormons are still sorta Christians.

Denial_of_Death: I'm 12 years old and what is this?

/no, really, what is this?
//is it supposed to do that?
///am I gonna die?!

Yes. But not because of that. At least, not directly.

The Icelander: That's right kids: You don't have anything between your legs until it's put there by Jesus on your wedding night.

\And even then you're not supposed to enjoy it

You're supposed to close your eyes and think of England. Or America. Or whatever.

elchip [TotalFark] Quote 2010-01-28 10:45:18 PM
I'd like to ask Peter whether he knows what girls look like down there. I don't think boys are as complicated as girls. You can easily see what boys look like in photographs or pictures of male nudes, but with women it's different. In women, the genitals, or whatever they're called, are hidden between their legs. Peter has probably never seen a girl up close. To tell you the truth, neither have I. Boys are a lot easier. How on earth would I go about describing a girl's parts? I can tell from what he said that he doesn't know exactly how it all fits together. He was talking about the "Muttermund," but that's on the inside, where you can't see it. Everything's pretty well arranged in us women. Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn't realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn't see them. What's even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris. I asked Mother one time what that little bump was, and she said she didn't know. She can really play dumb when she wants to!

But to get back to the subject. How on earth can you explain what it all looks like without any models? Shall I try anyway? Okay, here goes!

When you're standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things,also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside. They separate when you sit down, and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there's a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That's the clitoris. Then come the inner labia, which are also pressed together in a kind of crease. When they open up, you can see a fleshy little mound, no bigger than the top of my thumb. The upper part has a couple of small holes in it, which is where the urine comes out. The lower part looks as if it were just skin, and yet that's where the vagina is. You can barely find it, because the folds of skin hide the opening. The hole's so small I can hardly imagine how a man could get in there, much less how a baby could come out. It's hard enough trying to get your index finger inside. That's all there is, and yet it plays such an important role!

Yours, Anne M. Frank

Is that the real quote? Cause if it is, that's nothing more than what you learn in 5th grade sex ed. Dumbasses.

Some people are afraid of themselves.

goochmeister42: I_Am_Weasel

"Well of *course* you don't have teeth down there..look at the shape your gums are in!"

ahh, the rarely heard alternative punchline...least, it was in my schoolzone...

/sorry for the repeat...
//this was actually the first ever dirty joke I ever heard...probably in '69-70...didn't get it.

Urge to kill...rising...

I like erotica. Is it fap worthy?

ctthoqqua: I'm pretty sure it was Napoleon who said that "An army travels on its vagina."


That would leave one helluva snail trail.

U8D1EyedSnake: Shouldn't they also pull "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret?" for talking about vaginas and whatnot?

Shut your mouth.

FTFD: I had to get up my nerve to ask a question, since it wasn't as "normal" as I thought. "Peter, the German word Geschlechtsteil means 'sexual organ,' doesn't it? But then the male and female ones have different names.""I know that.""The female one is a vagina, that I know, but I don't know what it's called in males.""Oh well," I said. "How are we supposed to know these words? Most of the time you just come across them by accident."

...

I'd like to ask Peter whether he knows what girls look like down there. I don't think boys are as complicated as girls. You can easily see what boys look like in photographs or pictures of male nudes, but with women it's different. In women, the genitals, or whatever they're called, are hidden between their legs. Peter has probably never seen a girl up close. To tell you the truth, neither have I. Boys are a lot easier. How on earth would I go about describing a girl's parts? I can tell from what he said that he doesn't know exactly how it all fits together. He was talking about the cervix, but that's on the inside, where you can't see it. Everything's pretty well arranged in us women. Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn't realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn't see them. What's even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris. I asked Mother one time what that little bump was, and she said she didn't know. She can really play dumb when she wants to! But to get back to the subject. How on earth can you explain what it all looks like without any models? Shall I try anyway? Okay, here goes!When you're standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside. They separate when you sit down, and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there's a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That's the clitoris. Then come the inner labia, which are also pressed together in a kind of crease. When they open up, you can see a fleshy little mound, no bigger than the top of my thumb. The upper part has a couple of small holes in it, which is where the urine comes out. The lower part looks as if it were just skin, and yet that's where the vagina is. You can barely find it, because the folds of skin hide the opening. The hole's so small I can hardly imagine how a man could get in there, much less how a baby could come out. It's hard enough trying to get your index finger inside. That's all there is, and yet it plays such an important role!