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(Some John)   "I am a free woman of color" declares preacher busted for soliciting a five dollar prostitute   (indexjournal.com ) divider line
    More: Weird  
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18584 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2010 at 2:54 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-28 04:27:58 PM  

factoryconnection: metametameta: It takes a special kind of religious leader to bargain down a $10 hooker.

Talk about shrewd: "$10? Come on, Truck Stop, we're in a recession and you know you aren't even very good at this. Tell ya what... I've got five singles, take it or leave it."


Truck Stop: "Fine, Pithecus, but I'ma use mah left hand. Mah right elbow's been acting up somethin' fierce in this weather and that shoulder keeps popping out of joint."

Pithecus: "Giggety."
 
2010-01-28 04:28:01 PM  
If this article isn't prime FARK material, then I don't know what is.

Also if he can claim descendance from various apes and "A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status," then I will follow suit and demand BIE from all Farkettes here!

/Sovereign status!
//Vive femme couleur libre!
 
2010-01-28 04:29:42 PM  
A thread about a 5$ prostitute on the day J.D. Salinger dies and nobody's made the connection...

/someone's getting a punch in the stomach
 
2010-01-28 04:29:49 PM  

metametameta: Trance750: Only $5.00? Where can I find me one of those

Dudes, genuinely curious here, is any old, vaguely female looking warm body really that much more appealing and satisfying than a fleshlight and an infinite supply of internet pron?


As a dude I'm going to go with no, however, I'm not a fan of the fleshlight either. I'm still young and irrespectable enough that if I'm between girlfriends I can still go to most any bar and pick up a semi-cute chunky girl for the night and the cost of a few drinks. About half the time I even call them back and have a short term relationship with them.
 
2010-01-28 04:30:32 PM  
In his country of origin there's the Great Wall of Vachina and everybody gets to use it for free.


http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/7139/walltc.jpg

NSFW
 
2010-01-28 04:31:26 PM  
genner: I'll forget that she's colored.

for an hour?
 
2010-01-28 04:37:09 PM  
offacue:

thank you for that.my grandfater had that sign in his shop.
 
2010-01-28 04:37:38 PM  

wiregeek: Kensey: wiregeek: TFA:In the petition, Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus, whose ancestors roamed from that point throughout the world. A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status. A femme couleur libre."

wait, what?

No, seriously, what?

That's a higher grade of wharrgarble than I expect, even from a religious humanoid.

I think what we have here is a Sovereign Citizen believer, with a little bit of his own flavor added.

....that is the single most beautiful piece of wharrgarble I've _ever seen_.


Isn't it? Conspiracy theories are a little hobby of mine and that one's the best I've seen yet. I actually work with a guy who spouts the "Ohio never ratified the 16th Amendment" BS (although he's not dumb enough to try anything).

If you want a good supply of looniness to stock up for hard times, see if you can find videos by a guy named Mark Koernke, aka "Mark from Michigan" as he so mysteriously refers to himself. Secret UN concentration camps, devaluing the currency, paper money vs. gold, it's all in there in a neat little package of batshiat crazy. Tax law is of course another extremely fertile source.
 
2010-01-28 04:40:23 PM  

Maxor: metametameta: Trance750: Only $5.00? Where can I find me one of those

Dudes, genuinely curious here, is any old, vaguely female looking warm body really that much more appealing and satisfying than a fleshlight and an infinite supply of internet pron?

As a dude I'm going to go with no, however, I'm not a fan of the fleshlight either. I'm still young and irrespectable enough that if I'm between girlfriends I can still go to most any bar and pick up a semi-cute chunky girl for the night and the cost of a few drinks. About half the time I even call them back and have a short term relationship with them.


Yah, you're a prince.
 
2010-01-28 04:43:08 PM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Megain: yet it's so easy to find a mugshot of a hooker who goes by 'truck stop'

I think I caught herpes, syphilis and a serious meth habit just by looking at that picture.


then i don't recommend the video i grabbed it from
 
2010-01-28 05:02:28 PM  
I'll have the $3 afro cunnilingus to go please...and a coffee
 
2010-01-28 05:04:48 PM  

cowgirl toffee: Coyote Doyenne: and Melinda Ann Robinson, aka "Truck Stop,"

I once considered using the name Kitty Litter.

If you use the name "Kitty Littler" people will be disappointed if you don't have some sort of clumping action. The name should reflect your abilities.
Just my opinion.


ROFL! WIN!
 
2010-01-28 05:05:01 PM  

wiregeek: TFA:In the petition, Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus, whose ancestors roamed from that point throughout the world. A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status. A femme couleur libre."

wait, what?

No, seriously, what?

That's a higher grade of wharrgarble than I expect, even from a religious humanoid.


I think what he meant to say was " I posthumously instigate a hypotenuse of dispersant curvature to the penultimate permutation of righteous conglomeration and confabulating decay in our recalcitrant temporal essence! Lord-a-mercy!!!"
 
2010-01-28 05:09:49 PM  
kill the umpire 2010-01-28 03:16:55 PM

So I guess "Truck Stop" is probably her Fark handle too, then.

/anybody sponsor her yet?


No - why do you think she needed $5? Anything to get you through the month...
 
2010-01-28 05:11:22 PM  

Fecacacophany: wiregeek: TFA:In the petition, Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus, whose ancestors roamed from that point throughout the world. A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status. A femme couleur libre."

wait, what?

No, seriously, what?

That's a higher grade of wharrgarble than I expect, even from a religious humanoid.

I think what he meant to say was " I posthumously instigate a hypotenuse of dispersant curvature to the penultimate permutation of righteous conglomeration and confabulating decay in our recalcitrant temporal essence! Lord-a-mercy!!!"


I'm not convinced even you know what you just said.
 
2010-01-28 05:13:07 PM  

madgordy: Heh, he believes he is a country unto himself, rather than say a citizen of his state, or a citizen of the USofA, I suggest since he does not want to be a citizen he should be at once deported.


You can't deport a country. He has cleverly preempted your plan.
 
2010-01-28 05:23:18 PM  
Today's lesson: don't fool with/quote impressive-sounding foreign phrases you don't know much about. People you don't know will point and laugh.
 
2010-01-28 05:36:31 PM  
FTFA - The police report said Robinson requested $10 in exchange for a "sexual favor," but Armfield only agreed to pay her $5. Robinson reportedly received five $1 bills in the transaction.

So there was a bargaining down of an already cut-rate sex act? I'm not sure whether that's sad or funny.
 
2010-01-28 05:37:13 PM  

cowgirl toffee: MyrnaMinkoff: cowgirl toffee: The receptionist where I work said she can't stand touching dollar bills from prostitutes. She swears their money is sticky. I can't say that the money is sticky... but I can say that I think the receptionist is crazy.

Where do you work that your business is continually taking money from prostitutes? Because I need a new people-watching spot.

I work at a behavioral health institute here in Northeast Tennessee. This would be a prime spot for you to watch! I'm looking out of my window right now... and I'm praying that person isn't my next client. *shudder*


So this story is really tame for you I'd guess

/You probably know Truck Stops cousin "Laundromat"
 
2010-01-28 05:43:33 PM  
sxacho - Who is the man who is a living flesh and blood being
with sovereign status?

(SHAFT-PITHECUS!)

Right on



That was fraking brilliant! Enjoy a month of TF on me.
 
2010-01-28 05:58:07 PM  

yarnothuntin: Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus

I'M PITHECUS!


No, I'M PITHECUS!

and do you think old Truck Stop there is a daytime hooker.
 
2010-01-28 05:58:11 PM  

SomeSmith: A thread about a 5$ prostitute on the day J.D. Salinger dies and nobody's made the connection...

/someone's getting a punch in the stomach


You win the thread.

Literally.

\\\ Or should I say: "Literarily?"
 
2010-01-28 05:58:17 PM  
The report said officer Nick Futch ...

Don't know why but this gave me a serious case of the lulz.
 
2010-01-28 06:00:15 PM  
I'm trying to upload a pic of this big black cock-eyed bastard..having scanner issues...check back for laughy goodness..
 
2010-01-28 06:01:33 PM  
Kensey
I think what we have here is a Sovereign Citizen believer, with a little bit of his own flavor added.

huh. Maybe. But what do three prehistoric hominids dated to around 15-20 million years ago have to do with it? Plus the "disoch" in "Moro-Pithecus Disoch" is nonsensical. "Moropithecus" is what he meant.

Then he switches to French and declares himself a woman. Awesome.
 
2010-01-28 06:25:27 PM  
He probably get the charges dropped just like he wanted. The Pastor in this city that molested several children and then ran out of state after his arrest before being forced to return got away with a prayer of judgment. If he wasn't caught molesting anymore children for 6 months all the charges were to be dropped. The girls themselves were named and shamed in the city for daring to disrupt activities in the city with their horrid reports.

Yes, they hit the 1950s here and stopped.
 
2010-01-28 06:45:56 PM  
cdn.leasticoulddo.com
 
2010-01-28 06:49:39 PM  
He's a free woman of color
he feels unfettered and alive.
Nobody's calling him up for favors,
and no-one's future to decide,
you know he'd go back there tomorrow
but for the work he's taken on:
stokin the ho-maker machinery
behind the popular thongs.
 
2010-01-28 06:59:26 PM  
www.lynnedjohnson.com

If she wanna be a freak and sell it on the weekend...

/sorry, first thing in my head
 
2010-01-28 07:00:25 PM  
You have to admit, though, "Afro Pithecus" sounds like an awesome name for a blaxploitation comedy.
 
2010-01-28 07:04:21 PM  

patrick767: Kensey
I think what we have here is a Sovereign Citizen believer, with a little bit of his own flavor added.

huh. Maybe. But what do three prehistoric hominids dated to around 15-20 million years ago have to do with it? Plus the "disoch" in "Moro-Pithecus Disoch" is nonsensical. "Moropithecus" is what he meant.

Then he switches to French and declares himself a woman. Awesome.


Like I said, he threw in some of his own ingredients. I'm guessing some of what he added is Nation of Islam/Five-Percenter/Gods and Earths type stuff.
 
2010-01-28 07:06:49 PM  
i201.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-28 07:08:10 PM  
i201.photobucket.com
I swear I didn't touch this photo..
 
2010-01-28 07:09:30 PM  
i201.photobucket.com
Black male citizen of the year, 1992
 
2010-01-28 07:19:08 PM  
he's lookin up, and down...at the same time!
 
2010-01-28 07:19:32 PM  

wiregeek: TFA:In the petition, Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus, whose ancestors roamed from that point throughout the world. A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status. A femme couleur libre."

wait, what?

No, seriously, what?

That's a higher grade of wharrgarble than I expect, even from a religious humanoid.


tech911inc.com
DOES NOT COMPUTE

 
2010-01-28 07:55:41 PM  

Rubberband Girl: FTFA - The police report said Robinson requested $10 in exchange for a "sexual favor," but Armfield only agreed to pay her $5. Robinson reportedly received five $1 bills in the transaction.

So there was a bargaining down of an already cut-rate sex act? I'm not sure whether that's sad or funny.


This is fark. We can have both.
 
2010-01-28 08:09:24 PM  
Man this thread is starting to freak me out!
 
2010-01-28 08:40:58 PM  

Rubberband Girl: sxacho - Who is the man who is a living flesh and blood being
with sovereign status?

(SHAFT-PITHECUS!)

Right on


That was fraking brilliant! Enjoy a month of TF on me.


Wow, you've popped my cherry. It doesn't really hurt or quite yet feel... good. It's just weird. I don't know whether to thank you or slap you.

How'd you piss off Michelle Shocked?

/thanks :)
 
2010-01-28 08:51:40 PM  

wiregeek: TFA:In the petition, Armfield proclaims he is a "descendant of the original Moro-Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus, whose ancestors roamed from that point throughout the world. A living flesh and blood being with sovereign status. A femme couleur libre."

wait, what?

No, seriously, what?

That's a higher grade of wharrgarble than I expect, even from a religious humanoid.


It means he's the Pompitous of Love
 
2010-01-28 08:52:20 PM  

WhyteRaven74: cowgirl toffee: behavioral health institute here

And you hang out on Fark? How much do you hate yourself to do that? ;)


It's better than working. :)
 
2010-01-28 08:56:07 PM  

Slick Johnson: cowgirl toffee: MyrnaMinkoff: cowgirl toffee: ...

So this story is really tame for you I'd guess

/You probably know Truck Stops cousin "Laundromat"


So instead of dollar bills, she accepts quarters?
 
2010-01-28 11:17:44 PM  

meepozoid: Ah yes. As I recall, the slaves were most upset at not being able to get their smack-on with da hos.

Which is why we have Affirmative Action today, folks.


Geez, Black people come here too, dork!
 
2010-01-28 11:27:40 PM  
classic thread!
 
2010-01-29 12:36:26 AM  
i256.photobucket.comi256.photobucket.com
lol
 
2010-01-29 01:08:42 AM  
Coyote Doyenne: and Melinda Ann Robinson, aka "Truck Stop,"
I once considered using the name Kitty Litter.


cowgirl toffee:
If you use the name "Kitty Littler" people will be disappointed if you don't have some sort of clumping action. The name should reflect your abilities.
Just my opinion.


Beeblebrox: They paw at her for a few seconds, use her, kick her a couple of times with their feet, then leave.

*sniff* How... how did you know?!?

/runs crying

Cthulhu Theory: ROFL! WIN!

You are correct, sir!

craxyd: There's gotta be a story behind that. Please share with the rest of us?

Actually, there is a well-known drag queen in Atlanta who already goes by that moniker. I just can't step on her toes.

/cool story, mistress
 
2010-01-29 02:10:23 AM  

Coyote Doyenne: Coyote Doyenne: and Melinda Ann Robinson, aka "Truck Stop,"
I once considered using the name Kitty Litter.

cowgirl toffee: If you use the name "Kitty Littler" people will be disappointed if you don't have some sort of clumping action. The name should reflect your abilities.
Just my opinion.

Beeblebrox: They paw at her for a few seconds, use her, kick her a couple of times with their feet, then leave.

*sniff* How... how did you know?!?

/runs crying

Cthulhu Theory: ROFL! WIN!

You are correct, sir!

craxyd: There's gotta be a story behind that. Please share with the rest of us?

Actually, there is a well-known drag queen in Atlanta who already goes by that moniker. I just can't step on her toes.

/cool story, mistress


There's also a Miss Kitty Litter who is the self-proclaimed first lady of Providence, RI (which has a gay mayor).

/he happens to also be my brother
//really
///Miss Kitty, not the mayor
////cool story, bro!
 
2010-01-29 03:05:20 AM  
OH!
i256.photobucket.com
I see what you did over there.
 
2010-01-29 03:15:11 AM  
 
2010-01-29 04:19:28 AM  
Okay I can't waste a golden opportunity, I mean this guy is pure, unadulterated, grass-fed, humanely raised, crazy--but I'm gonna have to detour and ask the dominatrix if that really pays the bills? Also does your husband/significant other mind that you do the BDSM thing as a pro?! I've always been curious about this subject but I've never had the chance to ask.
 
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