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(Daily Mail)   If the only way you can win back your ex-boyfriend is to have plastic surgery on your face to look more like Jessica Alba. Let him go babe, just let him go   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 150
    More: Dumbass, Jessica Alba, Chinese, plastic surgery, Chinese woman, Fantastic Four, Shanghai Time Plastic Surgery Hospital, Shanghai, surgery  
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33206 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2010 at 4:06 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-01-27 04:30:29 PM  
I am often compared to Jessica Alba, so I am really getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2010-01-27 04:30:34 PM  
Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)
 
2010-01-27 04:31:04 PM  
Neither of us can act.
 
2010-01-27 04:32:09 PM  
I hope a soap-opera set backdrop falls on her and reverts her face back to plain jane-soo.
 
2010-01-27 04:32:47 PM  
ThatVANguy: My girlfriend will be undergoing some rather extensive plastic surgery herself next month. If all goes well, she will arrive home looking less like the athletic blonde that she currently is, and more like the deceased (but adored) actress Shirley Hemphill.

/R.I.P., Shirl!


wtf. Sure, Shirley had it going on, but after being dead for 11 years, you may not want your girlfriend to look *quite* like her. I hear they can't get the maggots to wiggle just right.
 
2010-01-27 04:32:48 PM  
cowsspinach: Absurd. I would be damned if my ex wanted me to look like Jessica Alba or someone else.

Well, you'd need an ethnicotomy. Dangerous surgery, that.
 
2010-01-27 04:32:50 PM  
Solid State Vittles: I am often compared to Jessica Alba, so I am really getting a kick out of these replies.

YOU LIE!
 
2010-01-27 04:33:10 PM  
wmoonfox: In China, where the ration of men to women is something like 6/1, a good-looking, financially-independent female is willing to go to extremes to maintain the affections of a man who is obsessed to the point of insanity with somebody else? Huh...

as a single chinese male i too find this to be some farked up shiat
 
2010-01-27 04:33:24 PM  
I think she is cute already. Insane though, obviously.
 
2010-01-27 04:34:32 PM  
Nemo's Brother: Insane though, obviously.

what gave it away? the vagina?
 
2010-01-27 04:34:48 PM  
'I am a psychologically weak person.'

Xiaoqing... call me.

That's one of the top traits I look for in a woman.
 
2010-01-27 04:34:52 PM  
Nanan: mpire667: Pair-o-Dice: Identifying herself only as Xiaoqing

Anybody help me with the pronunciation of that?

IANAC but I think it's "Sh'ow King"

xi ao q i ng
sh Ow ch i ng

shOwching


Close. Shee-ow-ching. Ow as in "ouch."
 
2010-01-27 04:34:57 PM  
i have a hot asain girlfriend, so i am really getting a kick out of your replies etc.

haha, its true.
 
2010-01-27 04:35:58 PM  
I often tire of people having surgery to look like me. It's not easy when people don't seem to be ready for my jelly because my body is too bootylicious for ya babe.
 
2010-01-27 04:36:35 PM  
If she is "psychologically weak" what are the doc's thinking by giving the green light to pointless surgery? Don't they do a mental evaluation and consultation before they OK a procedure, especially one of this absurd magnitude?
 
2010-01-27 04:37:13 PM  
Verdelak: Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)



I am not so certain saying the girl YOU are with has no gag reflex is something most men would brag about.
 
2010-01-27 04:37:28 PM  
supervacaneous: She's actually quite hot with that wig on, but I don't know about the surgery.
 
2010-01-27 04:37:28 PM  
randroid: Solid State Vittles: I am often compared to Jessica Alba, so I am really getting a kick out of these replies.

YOU LIE!


Hey, I meant neither of us can act worth a shiat!
 
2010-01-27 04:42:28 PM  
I'll make her feel better..

//sideways, upside down, etc ..
 
2010-01-27 04:43:44 PM  
Does he want her to get herpes as well?
 
Jha
2010-01-27 04:44:00 PM  
www.splicetoday.com
 
2010-01-27 04:45:19 PM  
WTF? Aren't there way more men than women in China? I thought that was a huge problem for the current crop of men in the marrying age range these days. She already looks pretty good so it should take her all of about 3.71 seconds to secure a replacement boyfriend.
 
2010-01-27 04:45:44 PM  
/Cool story bro mode on

I watched an awards show or some such nonsense where Jessica Alba was the host one time while I was on mushrooms. As the show progressed I began to hate her. I could feel myself despising her more and more by the minute but couldn't figure out why. This isn't going to go into Studman69 territory as I think she's hot and would fark the everloving shiat out of her. It would have to be a hate fark mind you. There was just something about her, which I can't figure out still, that caused psyclobin addled mind to loathe this hot chick I know nothing about. And that is my Jessica Alba story.

/Cool story bro mode off
 
2010-01-27 04:46:17 PM  
Can't ... Stop ... Watching ...

SFW .GIF (pops, wouldn't let me hotlink)
 
2010-01-27 04:47:16 PM  
i252.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-27 04:47:30 PM  
jtown: WTF? Aren't there way more men than women in China? I thought that was a huge problem for the current crop of men in the marrying age range these days. She already looks pretty good so it should take her all of about 3.71 seconds to secure a replacement boyfriend.

I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.
 
2010-01-27 04:49:19 PM  
shpritz: She's very cute. What's this guy's problem?

He's obviously an idiot.

Come over to America, baby. I'll make you a very happy woman, just the way you are.
 
2010-01-27 04:49:46 PM  
I came in here to register my shock that this woman would do this and was in no way expecting to see hot pictures of Miss Alba.
 
2010-01-27 04:50:01 PM  
I am Ahab: /Cool story bro mode on

I watched an awards show or some such nonsense where Jessica Alba was the host one time while I was on mushrooms. As the show progressed I began to hate her. I could feel myself despising her more and more by the minute but couldn't figure out why. This isn't going to go into Studman69 territory as I think she's hot and would fark the everloving shiat out of her. It would have to be a hate fark mind you. There was just something about her, which I can't figure out still, that caused psyclobin addled mind to loathe this hot chick I know nothing about. And that is my Jessica Alba story.

/Cool story bro mode off


A friend of mine had a similar reaction to Ben Stiller one night. Out of nowhere.
 
2010-01-27 04:50:41 PM  
Xlr8urfark: Can't ... Stop ... Watching ...

SFW .GIF (pops, wouldn't let me hotlink)


That may be SFW, but the autonomic bodily reactions to it may not be.
 
2010-01-27 04:50:56 PM  
cauth002: I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.

Or as we call it in the USA, being Female
 
2010-01-27 04:51:08 PM  
Geez, is there anything the Chinese can't make a low-quality knockoff of?
 
2010-01-27 04:51:46 PM  
cauth002: jtown: WTF? Aren't there way more men than women in China? I thought that was a huge problem for the current crop of men in the marrying age range these days. She already looks pretty good so it should take her all of about 3.71 seconds to secure a replacement boyfriend.

I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.



24 million more men to be exact. But that does not mean that they are successful or marriable material.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100111/lf_afp/chinapopulationmenmarriage

or at least that is what Researcher Wang Guangzhou would have us believe.
 
2010-01-27 04:52:07 PM  
burgle23: amazing_live_seamonkeys: Jessica Alba looks like a generic attractive girl. Nothing special.

/meh

Dude! She likes it rough!

/hot hot hot


Rough, how? You mean doggy style?
 
2010-01-27 04:52:20 PM  
electricmayhem: cauth002: I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.

Or as we call it in the USA, being Female


I am not amused.
 
2010-01-27 04:53:08 PM  
cauth002: electricmayhem: cauth002: I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.

Or as we call it in the USA, being Female

I am not amused.


I on the other hand, am amused.
 
2010-01-27 04:53:39 PM  
wmoonfox: In China, where the ration of men to women is something like 6/1, a good-looking, financially-independent female is willing to go to extremes to maintain the affections of a man who is obsessed to the point of insanity with somebody else? Huh...

Came here to say THIS!

Oh, and dude needs to be thankful as hell for what he's got. What are the odds of getting another woman at all if she wakes up and dumps him?
 
2010-01-27 04:55:45 PM  
Yea but I bet Jessica Alba doesn't sound like she is being raped during sex.

"You know honey, I'm willing to bet she would try at least ONE more position besides missionary."
 
2010-01-27 04:56:20 PM  
Sticky Hands: cauth002: electricmayhem: cauth002: I agree. I guess logic and rationality doesn't process for crazy folk.

Or as we call it in the USA, being Female

I am not amused.

I on the other hand, am amused.


Which are why your hands are sticky.
 
2010-01-27 04:56:35 PM  
Droog8912: Geez, is there anything the Chinese can't make a low-quality knockoff of?

hee hee, THIS
 
2010-01-27 04:56:45 PM  
yogaFLAME: cowsspinach: Absurd. I would be damned if my ex wanted me to look like Jessica Alba or someone else.

Well, you'd need an ethnicotomy. Dangerous surgery, that.


??? What is that?
 
2010-01-27 04:57:52 PM  
Wow, hard to decide who's more screwed up. The boyfriend or the girl. She looks good enough to me especially without that stupid wig.
 
2010-01-27 05:00:31 PM  
and that my friends, is the difference between a smart koont and a stupid koont.
 
2010-01-27 05:01:40 PM  
cauth002: A friend of mine had a similar reaction to Ben Stiller one night. Out of nowhere.

That one is completely reasonable.
 
2010-01-27 05:03:17 PM  
kvinesknows: Verdelak: Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)


I am not so certain saying the girl YOU are with has no gag reflex is something most men would brag about.


The fact that she can swallow me down into the depths of her throat over and over again makes me happy.
Why should I not brag?
Am I missing something?

Also, she is just a friends with benefits.
 
2010-01-27 05:05:38 PM  
Verdelak: kvinesknows: Verdelak: Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)


I am not so certain saying the girl YOU are with has no gag reflex is something most men would brag about.

The fact that she can swallow me down into the depths of her throat over and over again makes me happy.
Why should I not brag?
Am I missing something?

Also, she is just a friends with benefits.


Your post made me uncomfortable. Yeesh...need validation much?

/nobody cares about your cawk-sucking girlfriend.
 
2010-01-27 05:06:31 PM  
cowsspinach: yogaFLAME: cowsspinach: Absurd. I would be damned if my ex wanted me to look like Jessica Alba or someone else.

Well, you'd need an ethnicotomy. Dangerous surgery, that.

??? What is that?


Sort of like a negroplasty, but without the testicle-knee complication.
 
2010-01-27 05:08:47 PM  
cauth002: Verdelak: kvinesknows: Verdelak: Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)


I am not so certain saying the girl YOU are with has no gag reflex is something most men would brag about.

The fact that she can swallow me down into the depths of her throat over and over again makes me happy.
Why should I not brag?
Am I missing something?

Also, she is just a friends with benefits.

Your post made me uncomfortable. Yeesh...need validation much?

/nobody girls care about your cawk-sucking girlfriend.


FTFM
/master the beej and prosper
 
2010-01-27 05:12:17 PM  
jtown: WTF? Aren't there way more men than women in China? I thought that was a huge problem for the current crop of men in the marrying age range these days. She already looks pretty good so it should take her all of about 3.71 seconds to secure a replacement boyfriend.

Hope this is what happens...during the pre-lim paperwork stage (or whatever) she meets a decent guy who totally falls for her and TELLS HER SO.
She comes to the realization that Mr. 'Obsessed-with-Jessica-Alba' Guy will just find some other reason to dump her (even though she's had all that surgery just to please him).

That, or a woman friend who's BTDT (only not to the extent of plastic surgery) successfully explains to her:
"Honey, having the surgery to make you LOOK like her still won't make you BE her. That's where his fantasy will fall down, and he will blame YOU for it. He may even beat you for 'deceiving him by looking like Jessica Alba but not being her'. Get rid of his obsessed ass NOW and find a guy who wants you."

/ OK, so I'm a closet romantic.
// Ya don't need to look like Jessica Alba in order to be 'psychologically strong'
 
2010-01-27 05:12:26 PM  
burgle23: cauth002: Verdelak: kvinesknows: Verdelak: Peter von Nostrand: She'd probably be better off working on getting rid of any gag reflex. Just my opinion, though.

Girl I am currently seeing has no gag reflex at all.
I have nothing else to add to this thread, but I love any excuse to mention that. :)


I am not so certain saying the girl YOU are with has no gag reflex is something most men would brag about.

The fact that she can swallow me down into the depths of her throat over and over again makes me happy.
Why should I not brag?
Am I missing something?

Also, she is just a friends with benefits.

Your post made me uncomfortable. Yeesh...need validation much?

/nobody girls care about your cawk-sucking girlfriend.

FTFM
/master the beej and prosper


Nobody asked you, Axl Rose. :-)
 
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