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(The Sun)   Police discover that drugs are being smuggled into prison in cans. No, not like that, in tin cans   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 30
    More: Amusing, Sims, chargers, drug dealers, County Durham, Prison Service, soups, cocaine, painkillers  
•       •       •

7188 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2010 at 2:43 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-01-25 02:47:28 AM  
This headline brought to you by LOLcats.
 
2010-01-25 02:48:35 AM  
Tin cans in the can? Ouch.
 
2010-01-25 02:51:38 AM  
Tin cans in the can headed for the can?
 
2010-01-25 02:51:46 AM  
What about the prison pocket?
 
2010-01-25 02:53:37 AM  
After RTFA,
Picture of what a prisoner might look like?
 
2010-01-25 02:55:02 AM  
Where in the hell do you find tin cans these days?
 
2010-01-25 03:06:58 AM  
Funny that the fark headline is more coherent than the actual one.
Oh wait, this is British "journalism." Pretty typical for that lot.
 
2010-01-25 03:16:17 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
/hot n oblig
 
2010-01-25 03:26:32 AM  
oh billy
 
2010-01-25 04:02:51 AM  
MrFi5ter: Oh wait, this is British "journalism."

No, this is The Sun you dumbass.
 
2010-01-25 04:15:08 AM  
This is bad news for that chick that Glenn Beck raped and murdered back when Slaughter was famous......

/got nuthin'
//.....
/// see, told ya I had nothin'
 
2010-01-25 04:28:40 AM  
What_Would_Jimi_Do: oh billy

Poor Billy! (new window)And NSFW, trust me.
 
2010-01-25 04:42:02 AM  
Doesn't know a thing or two about smuggling drugs into prison in his can:
i19.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-25 04:58:50 AM  
The tin man went to prison?
 
2010-01-25 05:03:13 AM  
Just to check; drugs and other contraband are allowed into prison because the guards are corrupt and it keeps them peaceful, right?

I see no other reason for their presence, considering the control prison officers should have over what comes into and goes out of the walls.
 
2010-01-25 07:34:05 AM  
Tezcat: Just to check; drugs and other contraband are allowed into prison because the guards are corrupt and it keeps them peaceful, right?

I see no other reason for their presence, considering the control prison officers should have over what comes into and goes out of the walls.


If you allow *ANY* goods into a prison at all, there will be smuggling going on even if you try diligently to prevent it. The only way to prevent smuggling is to completely prohibit prisoners from receiving anything from the outside, but even that wouldn't necessarily stop it: You still have to bring in food, clothing, and hygiene items like soap, and drugs can be hidden in those.
 
2010-01-25 08:35:29 AM  
dittybopper: Tezcat: Just to check; drugs and other contraband are allowed into prison because the guards are corrupt and it keeps them peaceful, right?

I see no other reason for their presence, considering the control prison officers should have over what comes into and goes out of the walls.

If you allow *ANY* goods into a prison at all, there will be smuggling going on even if you try diligently to prevent it. The only way to prevent smuggling is to completely prohibit prisoners from receiving anything from the outside, but even that wouldn't necessarily stop it: You still have to bring in food, clothing, and hygiene items like soap, and drugs can be hidden in those.


Correct.I am a correctional officer and I must agree.You would not believe the amazing ways that inmates come up with to get contraband inside the compound.Not to mention the fact that officers are not the only people going in.There are civilian staff and also inmate visitors.Everyone that goes inside is searched but,you can only search a clothed person so well.Staff and their property are searched fairly well.More so than those visiting inmates.Searching them involves a very basic pat-down and a stroll through a metal detector.Yeah if they have a knife or a gun or a good size bag of drugs we'll find it.But,imagine trying to find a balloon filled with narcotics and it's only about the size of a quarter.You might be able to get a few of those in under a breast or hidden in a roll of fat or even in your mouth if they're small enough.It's not pretty but it works.You get that stuff past the officers and if it's not already in your mouth you can easily put it there.You meet your loving drug dealer,rapist,thief,pedophile,drunk driver,casual user who got caught one too many times,whatever,we've got all flavors.You have your visit.You give a few kisses and pass it to his mouth.He swallows it,goes back to his housing unit and later he has to retrieve it.This could go one of two ways.He could choke it up,or he could wait till it comes out the old fashioned way.He digs it out of his waste and it's party time.
Now,I tell you all that to ask you this....If an inmate is desperate enough for drugs that he is willing to foul himself in that way,what else would he do to get what he needs?
I've been doing this for twenty years and they never give up and they never stop surprising me
I could tell you some stories and I will tell you one that follows the same theme as above.At another prison in my state at one time they ran a sort of work camp that supplied all the other prisons in the state with food.They ran a giant bakery that supplied all of the bread and they also ran a meat processing plant that of course supplied meat.They didn't raise meat so they had to buy pigs and beef on the hoof from suppliers.A local farmer supplied them with some of the beef and the inmates found out who this farmer was.They got with thier people on the streets who approached this farmer with an offer to make even more money from his cattle.This farmer would prepare bags of drugs and tobacco and insert them into the rectums of the cattle.So far and so much that it would injure the cattle to the point that it could not pass it back out and would eventually die.But they were headed to slaughter anyway so WTF.The inmates would process the cattle and take thier loot when they gutted the cows.Nice,huh?
 
2010-01-25 09:23:47 AM  
long ball larry: dittybopper: Tezcat: Just to check; drugs and other contraband are allowed into prison because the guards are corrupt and it keeps them peaceful, right?

I see no other reason for their presence, considering the control prison officers should have over what comes into and goes out of the walls.

If you allow *ANY* goods into a prison at all, there will be smuggling going on even if you try diligently to prevent it. The only way to prevent smuggling is to completely prohibit prisoners from receiving anything from the outside, but even that wouldn't necessarily stop it: You still have to bring in food, clothing, and hygiene items like soap, and drugs can be hidden in those.

Correct.I am a correctional officer and I must agree.You would not believe the amazing ways that inmates come up with to get contraband inside the compound.Not to mention the fact that officers are not the only people going in.There are civilian staff and also inmate visitors.Everyone that goes inside is searched but,you can only search a clothed person so well.Staff and their property are searched fairly well.More so than those visiting inmates.Searching them involves a very basic pat-down and a stroll through a metal detector.Yeah if they have a knife or a gun or a good size bag of drugs we'll find it.But,imagine trying to find a balloon filled with narcotics and it's only about the size of a quarter.You might be able to get a few of those in under a breast or hidden in a roll of fat or even in your mouth if they're small enough.It's not pretty but it works.You get that stuff past the officers and if it's not already in your mouth you can easily put it there.You meet your loving drug dealer,rapist,thief,pedophile,drunk driver,casual user who got caught one too many times,whatever,we've got all flavors.You have your visit.You give a few kisses and pass it to his mouth.He swallows it,goes back to his housing unit and later he has to retrieve it.This could go one of two ways.He could choke it up,or he could wait till it comes out the old fashioned way.He digs it out of his waste and it's party time.
Now,I tell you all that to ask you this....If an inmate is desperate enough for drugs that he is willing to foul himself in that way,what else would he do to get what he needs?
I've been doing this for twenty years and they never give up and they never stop surprising me
I could tell you some stories and I will tell you one that follows the same theme as above.At another prison in my state at one time they ran a sort of work camp that supplied all the other prisons in the state with food.They ran a giant bakery that supplied all of the bread and they also ran a meat processing plant that of course supplied meat.They didn't raise meat so they had to buy pigs and beef on the hoof from suppliers.A local farmer supplied them with some of the beef and the inmates found out who this farmer was.They got with thier people on the streets who approached this farmer with an offer to make even more money from his cattle.This farmer would prepare bags of drugs and tobacco and insert them into the rectums of the cattle.So far and so much that it would injure the cattle to the point that it could not pass it back out and would eventually die.But they were headed to slaughter anyway so WTF.The inmates would process the cattle and take thier loot when they gutted the cows.Nice,huh?


www.loltech.org
 
2010-01-25 09:29:41 AM  
Hmm, is this half a brilliant idea?

If you were importing canned goods and had access to adequate canning machinery in the country of product origin, this would be a great way to smuggle drugs.

You just need to be shipping the cans full of coke and heroin in the middle of a pallet of real product. Just need to keep the density approximately constant to get through the port scanners.

Oh, and something like a different production date stamp on top of the smuggling cans so you can sort them out. First time little Suzie opens her green beans and finds it's full of cocaine and the schemes off.
 
2010-01-25 09:37:02 AM  
grinderman: hot n oblig



Absolutely!
 
2010-01-25 09:46:51 AM  
wildcardjack: Hmm, is this half a brilliant idea?

If you were importing canned goods and had access to adequate canning machinery in the country of product origin, this would be a great way to smuggle drugs.

You just need to be shipping the cans full of coke and heroin in the middle of a pallet of real product. Just need to keep the density approximately constant to get through the port scanners.

Oh, and something like a different production date stamp on top of the smuggling cans so you can sort them out. First time little Suzie opens her green beans and finds it's full of cocaine and the schemes off.


You don't even need access to canning machinery. Take already filled cans, use one of those can openers that lifts the lid off instead of cutting into the top, hollow out whatever is in there, and put in your contraband. Then just glue the lid back on.
 
2010-01-25 09:56:47 AM  
Mexicans?
 
2010-01-25 10:12:18 AM  
-1 Laboring the joke. How to has a funny:

[OBVIOUS] Police discover that drugs are being smuggled into prison in cans.
 
2010-01-25 10:25:23 AM  
If there is such a big problem with cell phone use then why not block the signal?
 
2010-01-25 10:28:58 AM  
wildcardjack: Hmm, is this half a brilliant idea?

If you were importing canned goods and had access to adequate canning machinery in the country of product origin, this would be a great way to smuggle drugs.

You just need to be shipping the cans full of coke and heroin in the middle of a pallet of real product. Just need to keep the density approximately constant to get through the port scanners.

Oh, and something like a different production date stamp on top of the smuggling cans so you can sort them out. First time little Suzie opens her green beans and finds it's full of cocaine and the schemes off.


Also done with paint cans.
 
2010-01-25 10:42:36 AM  
long ball larry: dittybopper: Tezcat: Just to check; drugs and other contraband are allowed into prison because the guards are corrupt and it keeps them peaceful, right?

I see no other reason for their presence, considering the control prison officers should have over what comes into and goes out of the walls.

If you allow *ANY* goods into a prison at all, there will be smuggling going on even if you try diligently to prevent it. The only way to prevent smuggling is to completely prohibit prisoners from receiving anything from the outside, but even that wouldn't necessarily stop it: You still have to bring in food, clothing, and hygiene items like soap, and drugs can be hidden in those.

Correct.I am a correctional officer and I must agree.You would not believe the amazing ways that inmates come up with to get contraband inside the compound.Not to mention the fact that officers are not the only people going in.There are civilian staff and also inmate visitors.Everyone that goes inside is searched but,you can only search a clothed person so well.Staff and their property are searched fairly well.More so than those visiting inmates.Searching them involves a very basic pat-down and a stroll through a metal detector.Yeah if they have a knife or a gun or a good size bag of drugs we'll find it.But,imagine trying to find a balloon filled with narcotics and it's only about the size of a quarter.You might be able to get a few of those in under a breast or hidden in a roll of fat or even in your mouth if they're small enough.It's not pretty but it works.You get that stuff past the officers and if it's not already in your mouth you can easily put it there.You meet your loving drug dealer,rapist,thief,pedophile,drunk driver,casual user who got caught one too many times,whatever,we've got all flavors.You have your visit.You give a few kisses and pass it to his mouth.He swallows it,goes back to his housing unit and later he has to retrieve it.This could go one of two ways.He could choke it up,or he could wait till it comes out the old fashioned way.He digs it out of his waste and it's party time.
Now,I tell you all that to ask you this....If an inmate is desperate enough for drugs that he is willing to foul himself in that way,what else would he do to get what he needs?
I've been doing this for twenty years and they never give up and they never stop surprising me
I could tell you some stories and I will tell you one that follows the same theme as above.At another prison in my state at one time they ran a sort of work camp that supplied all the other prisons in the state with food.They ran a giant bakery that supplied all of the bread and they also ran a meat processing plant that of course supplied meat.They didn't raise meat so they had to buy pigs and beef on the hoof from suppliers.A local farmer supplied them with some of the beef and the inmates found out who this farmer was.They got with thier people on the streets who approached this farmer with an offer to make even more money from his cattle.This farmer would prepare bags of drugs and tobacco and insert them into the rectums of the cattle.So far and so much that it would injure the cattle to the point that it could not pass it back out and would eventually die.But they were headed to slaughter anyway so WTF.The inmates would process the cattle and take thier loot when they gutted the cows.Nice,huh?


Well, I did like the story. It is something I've no experience at so I love hearing about new things. Tell me, is prison rape as rampant as people would like us to believe? Just curious as to how closely the stereotype fits.

/But please use spaces and paragraphs if possible; that was daunting to read.
 
2010-01-25 10:50:45 AM  
Came here looking for nice pictures of cans, leaving disappointed.
 
2010-01-25 11:33:45 AM  
I always thought those Hormel Tamales looking slightly bluntish.

i.walmartimages.com

/hot... and not just the tamales.
 
2010-01-25 12:47:14 PM  
Why not give the addicts in prison Subutex so they don't have to smuggle it in. Retarded.
 
2010-01-26 01:10:11 AM  
dittybopper: You don't even need access to canning machinery. Take already filled cans, use one of those can openers that lifts the lid off instead of cutting into the top, hollow out whatever is in there, and put in your contraband. Then just glue the lid back on.

Ummm, yeah... I'd rather have an airtight crimped seam and then run the product through a steam autoclave rather than trust a bead of glue to keep the smell in.
 
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