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(Cracked)   "While (porn stars) rear ends look like sparkling puckers of delight, fashioned from the finest alabaster and stank, mine looks like the Sarlaac that ate Boba Fett"   (cracked.com) divider line 196
    More: Amusing, Boba Fett, Sarlacc, sex tapes, Free Shipping, film actress, adult movies, low self-esteem, salon  
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48270 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2010 at 1:20 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



196 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-01-24 01:21:59 PM
"...and chances are yours will be just as atrocious. You could always bend over in front of a mirror and try to gauge where yours stands, but you'll probably need at least one other present for a comparison. In the end you'll probably just depress yourself."

Alright, I laughed.
 
2010-01-24 01:23:07 PM
I really, REALLY hope this is Gorgor's day off. Please FSM, let it be so.
 
2010-01-24 01:25:06 PM
Do not want
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2010-01-24 01:25:37 PM
I really, REALLY hope this is Gorgor's day off. Please FSM, let it be so.

Actually, he gets a page whenever a butt thread goes green. Resistance in futile.
 
2010-01-24 01:25:48 PM
Let's all go have our anuses waxed and bleached in honor of this delightful revelation.
 
2010-01-24 01:26:13 PM
Funny, and probably very accurate.

/People will pay very good money for me to keep my clothes on.
 
2010-01-24 01:26:41 PM
The internet introduced me to Homemade porn many years ago and I have never looked back and longed for the artificial fake boobied spray tan tatted and spitting that is supposedly so appealing.
 
2010-01-24 01:27:01 PM
NicoFinn: Let's all go have our anuses waxed and bleached in honor of this delightful revelation.

This.
I laughed.
 
2010-01-24 01:27:28 PM
NicoFinn: Let's all go have our anuses waxed and bleached in honor of this delightful revelation.

www.poopreport.com
 
2010-01-24 01:29:19 PM

Heh. I think one of the admins is drunk.

How about a BJ?

i21.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:29:40 PM
I wonder if they do couples ass bleaching sessions. Top notch anniversary gift IMO.
 
2010-01-24 01:30:39 PM
DrMcNinja: The internet introduced me to Homemade porn many years ago and I have never looked back and longed for the artificial fake boobied spray tan tatted and spitting that is supposedly so appealing.

Sorry, i actually prefer the fake baked fake titted porn...The other kind has really bad lighting and the guys are all gross looking. I watch porn for fantasy, not what I could see if I peeked through my neighbors window
 
2010-01-24 01:31:30 PM
citizen-lane.com
 
2010-01-24 01:31:35 PM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:32:47 PM
Open up, buttercup

http://www.thefatporn.com/

NSFW
 
2010-01-24 01:33:36 PM
Poppa Boner is scary this afternoon. ;)
 
2010-01-24 01:33:58 PM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:34:25 PM
Meh. Amateur is the way to go. I just glaze over (figuratively) the stuff that looks studio-fied and go straight to the homemade and motel-made.

Even have a small personal collection for trade back and forth with friends.
 
2010-01-24 01:35:09 PM
fastfoodcritic.com
 
2010-01-24 01:35:35 PM
It's been a delightfully dirty day on FARK...
 
2010-01-24 01:36:11 PM
Amateur porn is for the vouyers, like me.

Real porn just isn't real. The average guy can't imagine himself in that kind of scenario with that kind of girl. Thats what amateur porn does. The average kind of guy encounters girls like the ones in amateur porn every day. They are still attractive girls, they just aren't as polished and toned as the porn stars.

But yes, some people definitely would have no business appearing in amateur porn.
 
2010-01-24 01:36:15 PM
Poppa Boner


GGGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHSKFASFKLJB!@~!3141#$WHAT THE HELL?!
 
2010-01-24 01:36:46 PM
NicoFinn: Let's all go have our anuses waxed and bleached in honor of this delightful revelation.

... This.
 
2010-01-24 01:37:39 PM
8bit4life: Poppa Boner is scary this afternoon. ;)

It's only because I'm playing out here. TFD is being boring. Ah who am I kidding. I'm always like this.

i21.photobucket.com


Hi 8bit!
 
2010-01-24 01:38:18 PM
Surprisingly well written and funny.
 
2010-01-24 01:38:26 PM
media.peopleofwalmart.com
 
2010-01-24 01:39:44 PM
Damn that sandwich looks delicious, Poppa Boner.

By the way, what you're looking for is roast beef. What you've got there is corned beef. Not the same thing. Just sayin'.
 
2010-01-24 01:40:04 PM
briancreath.files.wordpress.com

"...fishing for brown trout..."
 
2010-01-24 01:40:12 PM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:40:27 PM

"Back in aught-6 I was inspired after viewing some adult cinema to try sex standing up. Like the kind where you just pick the woman right up and hold her there like some kind of bag of hump potatoes. What was I thinking? I work at a computer all day, my whole body has atrophied to pudding. To this day my back has not healed and there's still a dent in the drywall from my head."


Well, if you're not trying to pick up a woman who's not so dainty it won't work. I'm not saying it's the easiest thing to do, but not so tough.


But I must admit when homemade celebrity amateur porn is done right, it's good. Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton's stuff was bad, but I thought Severina Vuckovic's tape (Not Safe For Work, duh!) is pretty good.

 
2010-01-24 01:40:59 PM
This thread is going downhill quickly. And I approve of that.
 
2010-01-24 01:41:17 PM
ChadM89: Damn that sandwich looks delicious, Poppa Boner.

By the way, what you're looking for is roast beef. What you've got there is corned beef. Not the same thing. Just sayin'.


Kinky.
 
2010-01-24 01:41:48 PM
King Shazbot
Poppa Boner


GGGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHSKFASFKLJB!@~!3141#$WHAT THE HELL?!


Splatterhouse, if I'm not mistaken
 
2010-01-24 01:41:54 PM
ChadM89: By the way, what you're looking for is roast beef. What you've got there is corned beef. Not the same thing. Just sayin'.

Non non mon ami. Ceci est le viande fumee!
 
2010-01-24 01:41:56 PM
Nice, my first greenlight. I certainly did have gorgor in mind, in case you were wondering. Sometimes fortune smiles upon him(it?)
 
2010-01-24 01:42:49 PM
The Incredible Sexual Egg: Splatterhouse, if I'm not mistaken

Well done.
 
2010-01-24 01:44:15 PM
Nice, my first greenlight. I certainly did have gorgor in mind, in case you were wondering. Sometimes fortune smiles upon him(it?)

Congrats, there, young whippersnapper

I will summon the great one for you
 
2010-01-24 01:45:02 PM
i21.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:45:07 PM
MONSTERTRUCK: Open up, buttercup

http://www.thefatporn.com/

NSFW


5th down on the left column makes me want roast beef.
 
2010-01-24 01:45:24 PM
Think of the kittens.
 
2010-01-24 01:45:48 PM
Mmmmmm... stank :)

i48.tinypic.com
 
2010-01-24 01:46:41 PM
i21.photobucket.com


I love that cow.
 
2010-01-24 01:47:14 PM
"You're going to kill your grandmother."

Awesome ending.
 
2010-01-24 01:47:16 PM
Well, at least I now understand what Elton John was singing about during the Bruno credits.
 
2010-01-24 01:47:34 PM
Need Help Soonish: Mmmmmm... stank :)

Ha!
 
2010-01-24 01:49:27 PM
that was a nice chuckle to start this fine Sunday.

/got nuthin'
 
2010-01-24 01:49:54 PM
So swiping pics off of /b/ makes you legendary?
 
2010-01-24 01:49:57 PM
Have you ever been in a public restroom when an overweight man in a hurry comes in? And you're forced to take the next stall and just sit in silent horror and listen as he tries to both get comfortable and stave off an aneurysm? Why is there is much heavy breathing? And squishing? And then wet plops. That's what homemade porn sounds like.

The funniest thing I've ever read on Cracked.
 
2010-01-24 01:51:19 PM
i176.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-24 01:53:07 PM
 
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