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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   Note to Florida Moms: If a spider jumps on your baby, just brush it off   (tampabay.com) divider line 70
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16530 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2010 at 11:34 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-22 06:11:21 PM
More like: If you see a spider in the tub with your kid, take the damn kid out before pissing it off.
 
2010-01-22 06:22:15 PM
If the spider is in the tub how did it jump on the baby? And if the baby was in the tub, how come he didn't notice the hot water coming out of the faucet beforehand? And Krystal Cummings isn't just your stripper name?
 
2010-01-22 07:14:39 PM
images.huffingtonpost.com
This isn't over, Cummings!!!
 
2010-01-22 07:24:48 PM
Shenanigans!
 
2010-01-22 11:33:10 PM
I think the saying is, "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater", not "Throw the bathwater on the baby".
 
2010-01-22 11:40:18 PM
Krystal Cummings, 27, saw a spider in the tub as she prepared to give her baby, Aspen Hart, a bath at their home on Crimson Clover Lane.

Did this all take place on the set of a porn movie?
 
2010-01-22 11:42:08 PM
She wanted some cooked Colorado venison. I can't blame her.
 
2010-01-22 11:43:48 PM
i257.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-22 11:44:03 PM
"The baby was flown by helicopter to Tampa General Hospital with second-degree burns"

Flown? Seriously? That seems a bit excessive unless the kid was really unstable.
 
2010-01-22 11:44:24 PM
In the future this kid will snap when people sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and start killing people, though he will never realize why he gets so mad.
 
2010-01-22 11:44:53 PM
Nice web, Mr. Crack Spider.
 
2010-01-22 11:46:10 PM
Tonight I was doing trigger point therapy on my sinuses...I was sitting on the floor. I opened my eyes to see a spider crawling away from me. I go get a bucket scoot him in and take him outside--put him in a tree. I come back inside sit down to do the trigger point therapy when I notice....,the little farker bit at me like 3 times. Only invenomated me once. Squeezed out venom. Put on benadryl. Went back to trigger point therapy. Spider was a Wolff Spider. They are just spiders... People come on.
 
2010-01-22 11:46:52 PM
i47.tinypic.com
"Yeah...don't wanna burn the baby. Don't burn the baby. Yeah."
 
2010-01-22 11:47:56 PM
Good thing it's not Australia.
 
2010-01-22 11:49:16 PM
At least she held on to the baby and didn't throw it out with the water.
 
2010-01-22 11:50:46 PM
Last night I dreamt I bought a whole, intact, breaded, deep fried Dungeness crab at the local Albertsons. When I got home, over the kitchen sink, I crunched through the salty crusty overcoating of a large claw and into the exoskeleton and then finally into white flaky flesh, which was surprisingly edible. After one bite through the main back shell, I thought at first I was experiencing black decay from a crab that was not properly cleaned... only to notice that the black mass was millions of tiny spiders. They coated the inside of my mouth. I scraped them from the inside of my cheeks with my fingers and washed them down the kitchen drain with the sprayer attachement. That is all.

/Welcome to my nightmare
 
2010-01-22 11:52:50 PM
SPIDER!
http://tinyurl.com/ykt835s
(copy and paste)
 
2010-01-22 11:54:09 PM
Where the hell did you come from, gorgor? How did you find me?
 
2010-01-22 11:56:47 PM
How to deal with Spider

www.scorsesefilms.com
 
2010-01-22 11:57:26 PM
www.nick-prosch.de
 
2010-01-22 11:57:40 PM
whatshisname: Krystal Cummings, 27, saw a spider in the tub as she prepared to give her baby, Aspen Hart, a bath at their home on Crimson Clover Lane.

Did this all take place on the set of a porn movie?


Came for this question, leave satisfied.

/no, not THAT way
 
2010-01-22 11:59:01 PM
platedlizard: Good thing it's not Australia.

No shiat.
www.catsailor.com
 
2010-01-22 11:59:29 PM
MONSTERTRUCK: Where the hell did you come from, gorgor?

Vagina Cruise
 
2010-01-23 12:00:15 AM
Never trust this spider. You will be push-starting it in high heels for your entire adult life. Now you know

http://www.resimmotoru.com/data/media/47/Fiat%20850%20Spider.jpg
 
2010-01-23 12:00:29 AM
Cup_O_Jo: Only invenomated me once.

OOooo...kinky
 
2010-01-23 12:00:35 AM
So it would be wrong to go after the spider with a hammer?

Damn... these parenting rules are complicated.
 
2010-01-23 12:04:43 AM
What's wrong here? Baby burned by water that mother didn't realise was at an unsafe temperature, then mother does everything perfectly?......


OHHHHHHHHHHH I see. It's news because she didn't do anything dumb like every other idiot!
 
2010-01-23 12:04:43 AM
gorgor, Congrats on your new video release! I lolled.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEzXCkACvkY
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2010-01-23 12:05:33 AM
"Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
There came a black spider,
Which sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away."

/Sorry, low-hanging fruit and all...
 
2010-01-23 12:06:18 AM
Easy for you to say, subby.
www.varaves.com
 
2010-01-23 12:13:04 AM
I admit one of my great fears is burning my baby in the bath.

I think you would have to be a parent to fully understand how scary those knobs you have thought nothing of for decades can be when a child is at stake.
 
2010-01-23 12:13:33 AM
Diogenes: This isn't over, Cummings!!!

Look at the size of the fangs on that thing.
 
2010-01-23 12:20:18 AM
Russ1642: How to deal with Spider

roflmao
 
2010-01-23 12:26:37 AM
Did they tell them the address over and over?
 
2010-01-23 12:34:33 AM
T.M.S.: I admit one of my great fears is burning my baby in the bath.

I think you would have to be a parent to fully understand how scary those knobs you have thought nothing of for decades can be when a child is at stake.


The knobs are attached to your daughter's friends. I'm afraid of them too.
 
2010-01-23 12:37:33 AM
T.M.S.: I admit one of my great fears is burning my baby in the bath.

I think you would have to be a parent to fully understand how scary those knobs you have thought nothing of for decades can be when a child is at stake.


I am a parent. It never scared me because I made sure the water was the right temp before the baby was in the sink/tub and the water was done running before the baby went in. It isn't farking rocket surgery.

I am not claiming I have never made a mistake as a parent, but ones like this are so freaking avoidable. I don't know how I would live with myself after giving my 5 month old second degree burns.
 
2010-01-23 12:39:02 AM
Yakivegas: "The baby was flown by helicopter to Tampa General Hospital with second-degree burns"

Flown? Seriously? That seems a bit excessive unless the kid was really unstable.


The kid's five months old. Something that would only be a painful burn to an adult can be life-threatening to an infant.
 
2010-01-23 12:53:15 AM
And_That_Is_Why: platedlizard: Good thing it's not Australia.

No shiat.


DANNI MINOGUE?!?! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

/at least it's not Kylie...
 
2010-01-23 12:56:26 AM
1-phenylpropan-2-amine: What's wrong here? Baby burned by water that mother didn't realise was at an unsafe temperature, then mother does everything perfectly?......


OHHHHHHHHHHH I see. It's news because she didn't do anything dumb like every other idiot!


Ummm... if she hadn't overreacted in the first place, the baby would have been FINE. No need to run water to kill the spider - just brush it off the baby, fer chrissakes. It's not some "killer" spider - they only exist here in Australia...
 
2010-01-23 12:57:43 AM
#2: "Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
There came a black spider,
Which sat down beside her,

And frightened Miss Muffet away."

And said "What's in the bowl, biatch?".

/FTFY
 
2010-01-23 12:57:46 AM
So, on a side note, I just want to make sure that I counted correctly. This is the third time that Pasco County, FL has been on Fark today right?
 
2010-01-23 12:59:15 AM
Jaric: So, on a side note, I just want to make sure that I counted correctly. This is the third time that Pasco County, FL has been on Fark today right?

Well you lost the FL farkers right there.

/one and one and one and one and one and one. No more than two.
 
2010-01-23 01:03:07 AM
Yakivegas: "The baby was flown by helicopter to Tampa General Hospital with second-degree burns"

Flown? Seriously? That seems a bit excessive unless the kid was really unstable.


Hey Hey Hey!!! This is America pal! Our health system KICKS BUTT!!! Don't come in here promoting your socialist nazi nobama pussy health care where they send patients to hospital by mail.

Driving for the LORD!!! Making ALL THE lights!!! YAYAHAHWRBGRLRLBRBRLLL~!!!!1
 
2010-01-23 01:03:27 AM
Lachwen: Yakivegas: "The baby was flown by helicopter to Tampa General Hospital with second-degree burns"

Flown? Seriously? That seems a bit excessive unless the kid was really unstable.

The kid's five months old. Something that would only be a painful burn to an adult can be life-threatening to an infant.


Pretty much. The "Rule of Nines" doesn't apply to infants. Any serious burn on the body is life-threatening until a doctor says otherwise.
 
2010-01-23 01:05:45 AM
mbooda... thanks for the nightmares. D:
 
2010-01-23 01:08:58 AM
Gyrfalcon: Lachwen: Yakivegas: "The baby was flown by helicopter to Tampa General Hospital with second-degree burns"

Flown? Seriously? That seems a bit excessive unless the kid was really unstable.

The kid's five months old. Something that would only be a painful burn to an adult can be life-threatening to an infant.

Pretty much. The "Rule of Nines" doesn't apply to infants. Any serious burn on the body is life-threatening until a doctor says otherwise.


Or until the whiskey kicks in and they pass out.
 
2010-01-23 01:10:20 AM
I suppose next she'll try to take the pizza out of the oven using her kitten.
 
2010-01-23 01:11:49 AM
I think this was originally an attempt to kill the baby. Unfortunately, she had a change of mind midway. The other family members of course, could only believe the story but never actually saw the spider.

This is the result of bad economy and a confused motherly heart.
 
2010-01-23 01:14:21 AM
Actually, if you see a spider on a baby in Florida, just forget about it, he's gone man, he's gone...

www.freewebs.com
 
2010-01-23 01:21:57 AM
If it was like the spiders we had when my family lived out in rural Florida, I could understand why she flipped out a bit. All of the house spiders were close to the size of the clock spider. I once woke up in the middle of the night, looked at the map on the wall next to my bed, and all of Brazil was covered by a giant spider.

/they were fast suckers too
//the easiest way to kill them was to shoot them with a BB gun
 
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