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(ABC)   Today's Ready for Fark Headline: Man bites off cop's nipple during fight outside bar   (abc15.com) divider line 67
    More: Dumbass, Chicago Sun  
•       •       •

5719 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2010 at 4:20 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-01-19 11:28:32 PM  
Looks like he got a taste of Arizona justice.
 
2010-01-19 11:29:31 PM  
rynoon: Looks like he got a taste of Arizona justice.

YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
2010-01-19 11:54:10 PM  
Must have been Sugar Tits.
 
2010-01-20 12:22:57 AM  
Happens to everyone.
 
2010-01-20 03:18:52 AM  
*WINCE* OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW
 
2010-01-20 03:37:09 AM  
R-E-S-C-P-E-C-T. Some con tried to bite on me.
Just a nipple bit. Just a nipple bit.

sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me
 
2010-01-20 04:22:08 AM  
i think it's safe to say that that might leave a mark.
 
2010-01-20 04:28:06 AM  
NIPPLE THREAD!

Ok who has the brown silver dollars and who has the pink quarters?

/dont like cops
 
2010-01-20 04:29:40 AM  
Felon ate my nipples.
 
2010-01-20 04:29:51 AM  
EsteeFlwrPot: NIPPLE THREAD!

Ok who has the brown silver dollars and who has the pink quarters?

/dont like cops


I got my nipples at the Cracker Barrel.
 
2010-01-20 04:34:10 AM  
I initially read that as 'nipples' and my first thought was "What a stupid cop - you'd think he'd have figured it out after the first nipple."
 
2010-01-20 04:37:42 AM  
o.0
Purple Nurple from hell man.


OW man, can you imagine? ...god, that's just terrible to imagine. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
 
2010-01-20 04:38:50 AM  
Penis!


/So sorry
 
2010-01-20 04:40:56 AM  
I prefer shaving mine off.
 
2010-01-20 04:41:42 AM  
This is precisely the reason I wear 6 false nipples at all times. Try that move on me, chances are you're getting a mouth full of latex teat, dipsh*t.
 
2010-01-20 04:47:44 AM  
www.penny-arcade.com
 
2010-01-20 04:50:11 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2010-01-20 04:51:30 AM  
( . )( x )
 
2010-01-20 04:52:54 AM  
Suck it!
 
2010-01-20 04:53:21 AM  
(#)(.)
 
2010-01-20 04:55:00 AM  
seattlest.com
It was delicious.
 
2010-01-20 04:56:06 AM  
GungFu: ( . )( x )

Nice, I settled on a bandage rather than open stitches. And apparently I like my cops with lopsided tits.
 
2010-01-20 04:56:07 AM  
I came here for 'cops lovers verses cop haters' rants.
Please take a square ...
www.shortpacked.com
 
2010-01-20 04:58:23 AM  
I'd just move the one that's left into the center positon.
 
2010-01-20 05:03:09 AM  
Was the police officer male or female?

Should I be making fun of this guy for biting another dude's nipple or feeling bad for the chick that can only suckle one kid at a time now?
 
2010-01-20 05:04:57 AM  
Point02GPA: I'd just move the one that's left into the center positon.

unrealitymag.com

Damn...you're making me wish I had one hand
 
2010-01-20 05:08:01 AM  
www.zuguide.com
 
2010-01-20 05:10:57 AM  
Tits or GTFO!
 
2010-01-20 05:11:25 AM  
Did his nipples explode with delight?

/my hovercraft is full of eels
 
2010-01-20 05:12:58 AM  
snidepiper: Was the police officer male or female?

Should I be making fun of this guy for biting another dude's nipple or feeling bad for the chick that can only suckle one kid at a time now?



No it's okay, after experimenting on Tara Reid, the docs learned they can use pepperoni instead of human tissue.
 
2010-01-20 05:15:52 AM  
Please, somebody tell me that I'm not the only one who read the headline and then heard the cheerful voice of the Expedia-dot-com gnome exclaiming
"TA-DA!"

/ please...
 
2010-01-20 05:22:51 AM  
You ain't had nipple till you had cop nipple
 
2010-01-20 05:25:40 AM  
OUCH
 
2010-01-20 05:27:53 AM  
syzygy whizz: Please, somebody tell me that I'm not the only one who read the headline and then heard the cheerful voice of the Expedia-dot-com gnome exclaiming
"TA-DA!"

/ please...


Glad I'm not the only one :). The pentameter is PERFECTLY in sync with the voiceovers, too.
 
2010-01-20 05:45:50 AM  
fandomania.com

/Doesn't matter - one down, two to go...
//hot, like a man with three nips is (probably) not
 
2010-01-20 05:46:57 AM  
Someone alert Ren & Stimpy to a potential sale.


Also, the assailant was heard to say "Trick or teat" before the fight.
 
2010-01-20 05:58:33 AM  
that is the Chicgo Way.
 
2010-01-20 06:08:06 AM  
"No it's okay, after experimenting on Tara Reid, the docs learned they can use pepperoni instead of human tissue."


Bresseses and peperoni?

Throw some provolone into that and I'm in.
 
2010-01-20 06:24:57 AM  
the password is... nipple.
 
2010-01-20 06:32:32 AM  
Brrr, is it cold out?
 
2010-01-20 06:44:14 AM  
I bet the cop started it!


\DRTFA
 
2010-01-20 07:16:24 AM  
I was wondering how the hell he bit the officer's nipple off if the cop was wearing a vest. Now that would have been impressive. Otherwise, you just pulled a Tyson.
 
2010-01-20 07:31:30 AM  
Jimmy Fallon flubbed this one last night. I think he was trying to make an areola joke but just couldn't say the word.


Wonder how this cop is going to cut glass now.....
 
2010-01-20 07:32:01 AM  
Great, now he has the taste for cop nipple
 
2010-01-20 08:02:41 AM  
At least it wasn't a beaver.
 
2010-01-20 08:09:56 AM  
vsavatar: At least it wasn't a beaver.

www.uttyler.edu

Approves.
 
2010-01-20 08:12:35 AM  
img.youtube.com
Approves
 
2010-01-20 08:12:43 AM  
OUCH!!

I hope that they were both at least very drunk when it happened.
 
2010-01-20 08:18:56 AM  
Bit'O'Gristle: I was wondering how the hell he bit the officer's nipple off if the cop was wearing a vest. Now that would have been impressive. Otherwise, you just pulled a Tyson.

But still...you had to bite through some cloth to do that, unless the cop was moonlighting as a Chippendale dancer/stripper (the gender is unclear). So I'm still impressed.
 
2010-01-20 08:24:32 AM  
ciocia: Bit'O'Gristle: I was wondering how the hell he bit the officer's nipple off if the cop was wearing a vest. Now that would have been impressive. Otherwise, you just pulled a Tyson.

But still...you had to bite through some cloth to do that, unless the cop was moonlighting as a Chippendale dancer/stripper (the gender is unclear). So I'm still impressed.


It was an off-duty cop, so I would bet he was in only a t-shirt. Now if he were on duty and wearing a vest I would be very impressed and kind of scared that someone could bite through it.
 
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