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(AZCentral)   Man comes home to find two strangers on his couch eating fried chicken. Hilarity ensues   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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91 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2003 at 5:56 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

86 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-09 11:11:26 PM  
Smells like a made-for-TV movie to me.
2003-04-09 11:39:32 PM  
I guess locking your apartment door isn't a bad idea.
2003-04-09 11:40:39 PM  
"Hey! That's my VCR!"

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-10 12:01:59 AM  
people who don't lock their doors amaze me. i swear if i ever become truly evil i'm going to go around parking lots, find unlocked cars, open the doors, piss inside, then move on.

mmmm evil pissing
2003-04-10 12:14:02 AM  

"Looking for a place to munch on their drumsticks and wings, the pair went to an apartment just west of Halifax, which they thought belonged to Husbands' sister."

Scary. You wonder, where would they have wound up if they were eating breasts ?

2003-04-10 12:41:04 AM  
ummmm, Skinink, watching porno at your house?
2003-04-10 01:42:44 AM  
This is why in America, WE LOCK OUR DOORS! Maybe the paranoid media is useful eh Michael Moore?
2003-04-10 02:42:50 AM  
"...where Parsons, who had originally tried to calm the situation, hit Levy in the back of the head and jumped on his back, knocking him onto a table, which broke.

Husbands hit one of the neighbours with a table leg..."

You mean they have fried chicken in Canada?
2003-04-10 06:03:35 AM  
Sounds like it could have been a deleted scene from Pulp Fiction.
2003-04-10 06:04:19 AM  
I've done this before...only it didn't taste like chicken.
2003-04-10 06:05:28 AM  
I had pet chickens but we ate them. I will forever miss Henry the chicken.
2003-04-10 06:05:57 AM  
I must say, Canada farking rocks!
2003-04-10 06:06:25 AM  
Yeah i would have kicked his ass for coming in and being all "This isn't your house"
2003-04-10 06:08:15 AM  
Bah- I always find strangers in my house eating my food..
/long story dont ask
2003-04-10 06:08:21 AM  
I love living in a country where you don't have to lock your door
2003-04-10 06:13:10 AM  
He might have found two chickens on his couch eating fried strangers instead. He should thank his lucky stars.
2003-04-10 06:15:22 AM  
Help I am trying to subscribe to TotalFark, I have money in my Paypal account, I figured that submitting the transaction would just deduct from my Paypal balance, but the Fark/Paypal secure transaction form keeps asking for credit card info. Any thoughts?
2003-04-10 06:15:41 AM  
The author does a good play by play.
2003-04-10 06:17:12 AM  
I don't lock.. and I keep my back door open during the summer nights sometimes.

But I've been informed that Jesus loves me so I'm not worried, I'm sure he's looking out for things.
2003-04-10 06:18:06 AM  
Did you read the other article thing on that about the lady getting her boobies wrongfully removed?!?
2003-04-10 06:18:15 AM  
Paradoxflux dont knock on Mr Moore. Bowling for Columbine is the most popular film EVER in Europe with a hundred million euro trade in merchandising...including the "Bowling for Columbine door with no lock" and the "Bowling for Columbine poignant picture of a kid shot dead".

Well actually no not really.
2003-04-10 06:18:21 AM  
I was at Colonel Sander's
When something hit the wall
There was no explanation
It made no sense at all.

I bought my chicken dinner
The clerk had it all priced
Much later I found out
It was a poultrygeist.
2003-04-10 06:20:52 AM  
w00t! Colas "back door" is open to strangers. Sorry couldnt resist.
2003-04-10 06:22:21 AM  
Jeebus may love you, but there are people that don't love jeebus. Lock your door! Too many a-holes running around now-a-days.
2003-04-10 06:23:32 AM  
The author does a good play by play.

But an important piece of information has been left out: original recipe or extra crispy?
2003-04-10 06:24:17 AM  
04-10-03 06:18:06 AM Walt-baby
Did you read the other article thing on that about the lady getting her boobies wrongfully removed?!?

she only wants 50k per boob. what a rip off.
2003-04-10 06:29:16 AM  
Quite honestly, I don't even know where a key for the lock on my house is. Guess that's a nice thing about living out in the boondocks.
2003-04-10 06:30:13 AM  
What an idiot! You're supposed to ask for $50 million per boob and work your way down!
2003-04-10 06:31:32 AM  
Hi, im a madman with a chainsaw and scine you live in the boondocks AND the door was unlocked, i just let my self in. have some chicken.
2003-04-10 06:35:45 AM  
That's alright. I'm armed as well.
2003-04-10 06:43:43 AM  
Ah, Halifax. The memories...

Coming home to find strangers in your place is not at all uncommon in Halifax. Having it turn into a brawl ain't uncommon, either...but that usually doesn't happen until after the liquor's gone. Pretty sure it's related to odourless hallucinagenic fumes from the polluted harbour.

Crown Attorney Dennis Theman: Ex-hippie who desperately needs a haircut - got a long, faggy ponytail. He thinks it makes him look hip. Arrogant bastard. Wish HE'D taken the table leg across the noggin.

Don't know the rest of the cast by name, but from the sounds of things, I'd probably recognize their faces.
2003-04-10 07:03:37 AM  
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2003-04-10 07:07:35 AM  
"And the VCR was on the floor..."

Is this a significant tidbit of information?
2003-04-10 07:21:40 AM  
This coming out of Halifax, Nova Scotia doesn't surprise me in the least.
2003-04-10 07:24:46 AM  
Did anyone else notice the brawl happened over two years ago?
2003-04-10 07:25:03 AM  
I can't believe all this stuff happens in my town and I don't know about it until I see it on FARK.
2003-04-10 07:26:27 AM  
The were looking for a place to eat chicken... err, is there some sort of Canadian "open chicken container" law?

In the US you can see people eating chicken in the street. Right in front of God and everybody. And the cops just look the other way... in the street, man! Whoa.
2003-04-10 07:38:03 AM  
"Husbands hit one of the neighbours with a table leg, which earned him an 18-month conditional sentence earlier this year.

He has since violated the conditions of his sentence and been sent to jail."

People really are stupid.
2003-04-10 07:45:43 AM  
That site has a lot of other interesting articles - some I've seen here on Fark, but others I haven't. If you are bored, you should check them out.
2003-04-10 07:51:03 AM  
2003-04-10 07:59:12 AM  
They should have given the sister at least a year for renting the "wrong" apartment.
2003-04-10 08:09:02 AM  
April 1, 2001... suppose thats a typo???
2003-04-10 08:12:23 AM  
"...Husbands hit one of the neighbours with a table leg..."

Wow. It could have been worse - he could have hit him with of the succulent fried chicken legs. Then he would have been charged with assault and battery-hen. Fowl play and all that.
2003-04-10 08:14:14 AM  
I can remember learning in the Student Slums in College not to even leave my door unlocked when I was home and on the couch. People would just let themselves in... Leaving doors unlocked when you're NOT home is completely assinine.

My doors stay locked. I find strangers eating chicken on my couch, I have to assume they selected that for their last meal.

And as to the significance of "the vcr was on the floor" I believe that's meant to indicate that the guy was going to "borrow" the vcr, and claim he thought it was his sister's.
2003-04-10 08:27:11 AM  
Maybe Judge McDonald would have been more compassionate when handing down the sentence if they had been eating McNuggets.
2003-04-10 08:41:23 AM  
I wonder if the intruders were african-canadians.
2003-04-10 08:52:45 AM  
I actually did something extremely vaguely similar once...I went over a friend's house, and, seeing that he wasn't home, nabbed the hidden spare key from the shed and went in. While I was waiting, I got hungry, so I cooked up some chicken that he had in the freezer. When he got home, I was complacently sitting in his kitchen, eating chicken. No fighting, though he did get a little annoyed that I was eating his chicken.

Okay, it really wasn't similar at all.
2003-04-10 08:56:17 AM  
Goddamn, was that intended to read as funny as it did? " hit Levy in the back of the head and jumped on his back, knocking him onto a table, which broke."
"Husbands hit one of the neighbours with a table leg, which earned him an 18-month conditional sentence earlier this year. "

That's some funny shiaat, brought back fond memories of Marx bro's, Three Stooges and Laurel & Hardy.
2003-04-10 09:10:50 AM  
Dumbass, indeed. Why didn't the guy just call the police instead of starting a fight?

"Hey, what are you doing in my apartment."

"Oh, sorry, we thought it was someone else's. The door was unlocked."

"It's not, so get out."

"Um, no. We're going to eat our fried chicken first and then finish making illegal copies of video tapes, which is why your VCR is on the floor."

"That does it, I'm calling the police."

Problem solved.
2003-04-10 09:18:14 AM  
This kind of stuff happens in the college town I live in all the time. Kids crash at each other's apartments or at friends of friends of friends etc. And sometimes that's just what they claim when they get caught red-handed in someone else's place. You'd be surprised how many burglars make themselves at home with your food and beer, nap on your couch, rummage through you underwear and/or take a dump in your toilet. Lock those doors!!!
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