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(Yahoo)   Scientists say that monkey brains are 'hardwired' for simple math; humans still unable to calculate a tip   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, monkey brains, comprehension, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Rhesus, humans, scientists, Isolate, social interactions  
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2371 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2010 at 8:22 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-01-19 05:29:32 PM  
A monkey came down from a tree,
And scratched "1+2=3"
In dirt with a stick.
A pretty cool trick!
That monkey now runs NBC.
 
2010-01-19 05:37:00 PM  
Mmmm..monkey brains. A delicious treat.
 
2010-01-19 05:58:19 PM  
Amount of check
Double it
Round down
Drop a zero
Tip

Easy.

Example:
$32.15
Double - 64.30
round down - 64.00
drop a zero - 6.40
Voila. Tip 6.40.
 
2010-01-19 06:38:21 PM  
But are they popular in Cantonese cuisine?
 
2010-01-19 07:19:54 PM  

unlikely: Amount of check
Double it
Round down
Drop a zero
Tip

Easy.

Example:
$32.15
Double - 64.30
round down - 64.00
drop a zero - 6.40
Voila. Tip 6.40.


No no no. The correct way to calculate a tip is to pay nothing because I'm not giving anyone extra money just for doing their job.

Example:
$32.15
"Thanks for lunch, it was good, now get a real job, you longhair."
 
2010-01-19 07:40:36 PM  
What House of Tards might look like:

i106.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-19 07:48:36 PM  
Que the I can count to potato pic.

/to lazy to go find and post it.
 
2010-01-19 08:25:14 PM  
GaryPDX

Mmmm..monkey brains. A delicious treat.

Best if served chilled.

/to unsuspecting guests.
 
2010-01-19 08:26:19 PM  

unlikely: Amount of check
Double it
Round down
Drop a zero
Tip

Easy.

Example:
$32.15
Double - 64.30
round down - 64.00
drop a zero - 6.40
Voila. Tip 6.40.


In other words, move the decimal point one space to the left and double it?
 
2010-01-19 08:26:26 PM  

GaryPDX: Mmmm..monkey brains. A delicious treat.


www.cqaf.com /chilled
 
2010-01-19 08:26:29 PM  
It was my understanding that there would be no math.

/oblig
//and quoted correctly for once!
 
2010-01-19 08:28:54 PM  

MaxxLarge: A monkey came down from a tree,
And scratched "1+2=3"
In dirt with a stick.
A pretty cool trick!
That monkey now runs NBC.


This one may be your best yet this year.
 
Zel [TotalFark]
2010-01-19 08:30:42 PM  

unlikely: Amount of check
Double it
Round down
Drop a zero
Tip

Easy.

Example:
$32.15
Double - 64.30
round down - 64.00
drop a zero - 6.40
Voila. Tip 6.40.


You tip twenty percent?
I'll just round up.

Example:
$45.63 for dinner
Fark that noise, the waitress wasn't acting like this was a five star restaurant, leave $50.

Easy as pie! That I wont be having, because it will cost too much.

/Inb4 if you cant afford to tip 45% you shouldnt be going out to eat.
 
2010-01-19 08:31:00 PM  
Screw math, I want my brain to be 'hardwired' for funny limericks like MaxxLarge.
 
2010-01-19 08:39:06 PM  

House of Tards: unlikely:

No no no. The correct way to calculate a tip is to pay nothing because I'm not giving anyone extra money just for doing their job.

Example:
$32.15
"Thanks for lunch, it was good, now get a real job, you longhair."


2 minutes in the penalty box for over-obvious troll attempt.
 
2010-01-19 08:42:43 PM  
What's so hard about zero? The restaurant is already charging me an arm and a leg for dinner, why should I shell out another $5-$10 for the guy who walked back and forth from the kitchen?
 
2010-01-19 08:42:58 PM  

sparkeyjames: Que the I can count to potato pic.

/to lazy to go find and post it.


roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-01-19 08:44:17 PM  

stickintehmud: What's so hard about zero? The restaurant is already charging me an arm and a leg for dinner, why should I shell out another $5-$10 for the guy who walked back and forth from the kitchen?


rlv.zcache.com
 
2010-01-19 08:46:06 PM  

Zel:

You tip twenty percent?
I'll just round up.

Example:
$45.63 for dinner
Fark that noise, the waitress wasn't acting like this was a five star restaurant, leave $50.

Easy as pie! That I wont be having, because it will cost too much.

/Inb4 if you cant afford to tip 45% you shouldnt be going out to eat.


It's my guess that you couldn't even name a Mobil/Forbes five star restaurant (much less afford to eat in one so that you might have any point of reference or ground for comparison.)
 
2010-01-19 08:46:21 PM  
meanest thing I ever heard that made me laugh out loud:

Clerk says she accepts tips. My friend says "oh yeah? Here's a tip. Get a third job"
 
2010-01-19 08:47:13 PM  
Double the tax, round up to nearest dollar. Does this mean I'm a monkey?
 
2010-01-19 08:48:58 PM  

GaryPDX: Mmmm..monkey brains. A delicious treat.


media.filmschoolrejects.com
 
2010-01-19 08:54:09 PM  

sparkeyjames: Que the I can count to potato pic.

/to lazy to go find and post it.


Que?

/to lazy too learn english
 
2010-01-19 08:54:43 PM  

I wonder how you translate "Commutativity of Logical Inclusive Disjunction" into monkey?

img359.imageshack.us

 
2010-01-19 08:56:43 PM  
I was told there would be no simple math.
 
2010-01-19 09:01:45 PM  
Whoever thinks the brain is "hardwired" to do math has never taught in an inner city school where students reply to being corrected with "That's bullshiat motherfarker, the motherfarkin' calculator says so, goddamned motherfarker, shiat!"
 
2010-01-19 09:10:05 PM  
Tipping more than ten percent is for suckers or excellent service.
 
2010-01-19 09:11:36 PM  
Good one Max.
 
2010-01-19 09:13:22 PM  
Honestly, I think tips should be appropriate to state laws... if you are in a state with a high minimum wage and relatively low cost of living like rural Oregon... why do you deserve to make $20+ an hour ($8.40 minimum wage, plus tips)? I busted my ass at a retail store and my "tip" was an occasional 25 cent raise (and a company policy that we weren't supposed to accept tips). I've busted my ass bundling newspapers, and didn't get a damn thing except minimum wage and a $2 lottery ticket as a Christmas bonus. Hey, if you're good at your job, you could always deserve a tip, but it shouldn't be "mandatory" if someone is half-assing it and does nothing more but bring you a tray of food.

If you are in, say, Texas... where it's legal to stiff your employees if they make tips (or even if they don't...), and they cannot complain about it or they'll be fired, you should probably fork down at LEAST a couple bucks for a tip, even if you only buy a $5 burger.

/all that being said, tips should be divided amongst the cooks AND servers
 
2010-01-19 09:14:38 PM  
//except at Hooters, or a strip club... the only places people go for the wait staff, not the food
 
2010-01-19 09:15:52 PM  

Manic_Repressive: What House of Tards might look like:


dick dick dick dick dick dick dick.
How many dicks is that?
A lot.

/quasi related
 
2010-01-19 09:16:43 PM  
BKITU

But are they popular in Cantonese cuisine?

Yes, but they're not often to be found in Washington, D.C.
 
2010-01-19 09:17:10 PM  
I can't wait for old age and senility. I think it will be a smooth transition.
 
2010-01-19 09:22:07 PM  
While monkeys may be hardwired for simple math, Farkers are hardwired to repeat the same old tired arguments ad nauseum.
 
2010-01-19 09:33:36 PM  
How hard is it to count to 0?
 
2010-01-19 09:37:54 PM  

Manic_Repressive: What House of Tards might look like:


Came here for Mr Pink, now pay up you cheap bastard.
 
2010-01-19 09:48:41 PM  

abb3w: I wonder how you translate "Commutativity of Logical Inclusive Disjunction" into monkey?


I'm pretty sure it involves the monkey ripping your arm clean off the shoulder and shoving it down your throat. Monkey math is notoriously physically demanding for the beginner.
 
2010-01-19 09:56:00 PM  
How good the service was between 0 and 1.5 [1.5 being the best]

The likelihood of you ever coming back between 0 and 1 [1 being you'll definitely come back.]

Divide total by 10 [move decimal one place]

Multiply the quotient by the sum of the quality of service and the likelihood you'll come back.

(Total/10)x(service+return)
 
2010-01-19 10:04:10 PM  

Russ1642: Not if you've got a Wizard tip calculator


/It does other things!


Mine doesn't have a 7.
 
2010-01-19 10:13:52 PM  
onceuponawin.files.wordpress.com

APPROVES
 
2010-01-19 10:27:39 PM  

Chevello: Double the tax, round up to nearest dollar. Does this mean I'm a monkey?


Some states don't have tax

I tip 15% unless something spectacular happened, or it is a cheap breakfast with killer service, which is where I usually go for breakfast than yeah 20%

15% 18.28 = 1.82 so rounding to 2 bucks + 1/2 = 3
20% 18.28 = 1.82 so rounding to 2 bucks * 2 = 4

Don't understand the hard part, although my mom sure did. She used to just multiply the tax * 2 for the 15% but then moved to a tax free state... every time out for food I explained how easy it was. I guess I am not a good teacher.
 
2010-01-19 11:09:13 PM  
the only issue I have is when i'm eating with a group and we don't get separate checks. the cash payers (myself included) will put in a decent tip, ~20%. then it'll get to one of the card payers who will then decide on a total to pay based on the check, and not actually pay their own way, resulting in their using my tip to pay for their own meal and making us all look cheap in the process.

/I do separate checks now
 
2010-01-19 11:31:27 PM  

unlikely: Amount of check
Double it
Round down
Drop a zero
Tip

Easy.

Example:
$32.15
Double - 64.30
round down - 64.00
drop a zero - 6.40
Voila. Tip 6.40.


That's an awful lot to remember. Here's my one-step trick:

Multiply by .15

Example:
$32.15
multiply by .15 - $4.82
Voila. Tip $4.82.

Wait... why is yours so high? Have I been a dick?
 
2010-01-19 11:45:52 PM  
unlikely

It'd be easier and better to 'drop a zero' (divide by ten) first. This is 10%. Then the customer can do whatever. Double the 10% for 20%. 1.5 times the 10% for 15%. etc
 
2010-01-20 12:35:19 AM  
When we go out, I tip well...
/no likey the extra salt
 
2010-01-20 12:38:25 AM  
that's probably why we don't tip in australia
 
2010-01-20 01:41:59 AM  

angie-p: that's probably why we don't tip in australia


We don't do tips in Australia because we actually pay workers a fair wage. If they don't do a good job they get sacked. We also don't need to get our jollies from making young people grovel to us customers for a few dollars.
 
2010-01-20 03:19:29 AM  

redcliffe: angie-p: that's probably why we don't tip in australia

We don't do tips in Australia because we actually pay workers a fair wage. If they don't do a good job they get sacked. We also don't need to get our jollies from making young people grovel to us customers for a few dollars.


since when was decent service considered grovelling?
 
2010-01-20 09:19:25 AM  
My mom always told me you could tell a lot about your date by how he tipped the waiter. Generosity equals better guy, and all that.

Now I've been on a few dates with a few different guys, and I can tell you for certain: the "I don't tip unless it's awesome" people are generally dickheads in other areas of life too.

Lots of dickheads in this thread.
 
2010-01-20 09:52:22 AM  

redcliffe: angie-p: that's probably why we don't tip in australia

We don't do tips in Australia because we actually pay workers a fair wage. If they don't do a good job they get sacked. We also don't need to get our jollies from making young people grovel to us customers for a few dollars.


i know, i was being sarcasmo
 
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