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(Telegraph)   The French were cheese-eating surrender monkeys even back in the 12th century   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 123
    More: Amusing, English, Frenchman, heretics, Monty Python, stereotypes, rapists, insults, poets  
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11068 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2010 at 10:23 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-17 07:35:39 AM
Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

/DE GAULLE WAS THE SURRENDER MONKEY

//A certain short artillery officer may disagree with subby.
 
2010-01-17 07:42:23 AM
Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.



That was the Normans. They were Vikings. Modern Frenchmen are like modern Italians. Both pale in comparison to their forefathers' raw testosterone.
 
2010-01-17 08:24:00 AM
doglover: Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.



That was the Normans. They were Vikings. Modern Frenchmen are like modern Italians. Both pale in comparison to their forefathers' raw testosterone.


Still, Normandy is in France, but tu che

There is a plaque there that declares "We whom William Conquered are Now Your Liberators"

/Europeans have foolishly long memories
 
2010-01-17 08:34:05 AM
Some things never change.
 
2010-01-17 08:39:40 AM
Jeanne D'Arc would have a few words with the wussy Brits who got beat by a GIRL.
 
2010-01-17 08:48:20 AM
jehovahs witness protection: Some things never change.

I'll still be digging on James Brown
 
2010-01-17 08:58:09 AM
Well if it wasn't for the French all you Americans would be speaking English right now.
 
2010-01-17 09:01:59 AM
RagingLeonard: Well if it wasn't for the French all you Americans would be speaking English right now.

That is true, the French & Indian War (or specifically its cost) definitely contributed to the colonial desire for independence.

And if it weren't for the US all those Nebraskans would be speaking French.
 
2010-01-17 09:12:19 AM
Vampire_Blues: That is true, the French & Indian War (or specifically its cost) definitely contributed to the colonial desire for independence.

Well not only its cost. Don't forget the very bad feelings that were brewed during the war, from how ranked colonial regular troops were given little to no rank in comparison to British regulars, how the British made a treaty mid-conflicts that gave the massive fort Louisburg back to France after the colonials tried so hard to win it in the first place, and so on and so on. Not that the British were mean per se, just very very oblivious. Which I guess has always been their problem.

/also dentistry. lolz
 
2010-01-17 09:19:05 AM
wyltoknow: Vampire_Blues: That is true, the French & Indian War (or specifically its cost) definitely contributed to the colonial desire for independence.

Well not only its cost. Don't forget the very bad feelings that were brewed during the war, from how ranked colonial regular troops were given little to no rank in comparison to British regulars, how the British made a treaty mid-conflicts that gave the massive fort Louisburg back to France after the colonials tried so hard to win it in the first place, and so on and so on. Not that the British were mean per se, just very very oblivious. Which I guess has always been their problem.

/also dentistry. lolz


You'd think they would have learned this by Gallipoli.
I guess ANZACs are more forgiving.
 
2010-01-17 09:20:53 AM
Yet when you think of Nanny State what European country springs to mind?
 
2010-01-17 09:26:11 AM
doglover: That was the Normans. They were Vikings.

true. norman = norse man.

but weren't the english aristocracy french-speaking at that point? i mean, this is around the time of Henry II, who was essentially french, i think.
 
2010-01-17 10:06:27 AM
Say what you want about the French, at least they know how to cook.
 
2010-01-17 10:24:44 AM
So say "les goddamns".
 
2010-01-17 10:28:13 AM
ftfa: godless, arrogant and lazy dogs

So what's their fark handle?
 
2010-01-17 10:32:06 AM
france sucks!
 
2010-01-17 10:33:43 AM
Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

Normandy wasn't France in the 12th century.
 
2010-01-17 10:34:10 AM
i35.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-17 10:35:04 AM
nexus1 LOL

luckyeddie: Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

Normandy wasn't France in the 12th century.


French weren't surrender monkeys either.
 
2010-01-17 10:35:37 AM
Boon town rue the day.
 
2010-01-17 10:37:07 AM
but i like cheese :O
 
2010-01-17 10:37:14 AM
luckyeddie: Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

Normandy wasn't France in the 12th century.


Normans still spoke French, non?
 
2010-01-17 10:38:21 AM
If Napoleon had a better navy to fight against England, those bastards would not have been so quick to dismiss the French.
 
2010-01-17 10:40:17 AM
did someone say cheese? (new window)

/sorry, we're fresh out
 
2010-01-17 10:41:10 AM
Hah, so the Farkers supporting the surrender monkey meme were following the example of the Brits...that's rich.

i.ytimg.com
 
2010-01-17 10:42:46 AM
The French Foreign Legion used to be the biggest badasses in the world. The war that they fought in Algeria made our conflicts in Korea/Vietnam/Iraq pale in comparison.
 
2010-01-17 10:44:24 AM
Brits are the products of Celts (Bretons) raped by Italians (Romans) raped by Germans (Angles/Saxons/Jutes) raped by the Norse(Normans).

The French are the product of Celts (Gauls) raped by Italians (Romans) raped by Germans (Franks).

The Score is -3 to -2, the French actually win by default (a French term not coincidentally)

/A Jorb Well Done Europe
 
2010-01-17 10:44:41 AM
Huggermugger: The French Foreign Legion used to be the biggest badasses in the world. The war that they fought in Algeria made our conflicts in Korea/Vietnam/Iraq pale in comparison.

How'd that work out for them?
 
2010-01-17 10:51:18 AM
The article points out the poem was a piece of propaganda. Which is funny, because the whole "cheese eating surrender monkeys" insult was picked up and used by the Republicans to slur the French when they refused to support the US (and UK) in the invasion of Iraq.

What goes around, comes around, non?
 
2010-01-17 11:01:01 AM
Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits English, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

It was England colonised not the Scots. In fact the Norman invasion marked the first times Scotland became an ally of (part of) France.
 
2010-01-17 11:01:16 AM
Leave the gun, take the cheese.
 
2010-01-17 11:09:05 AM
The french are the most conquered people in history. Their national flag should be all white. WE SURRENDER!
 
2010-01-17 11:13:27 AM
History is always written by the victors. What would you expect them to say?
 
2010-01-17 11:19:24 AM
Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: No one knows. It's never been tried.
 
2010-01-17 11:20:05 AM
Why is the Champs-Élysées tree-lined?

So German soldiers can march in the shade.
 
2010-01-17 11:23:02 AM
dnierfu: The french are the most conquered people in history. Their national flag should be all white. WE SURRENDER!

History of Doyslovna is fight and fun! Doyslovna is record of Guinness Book holder for "Most-Conquered Country", and more proud Doyslovnans could be never, ever.

taken from http://www.echonyc.com/~mono/doyslov.html
 
2010-01-17 11:23:47 AM
And, Dude, the preferred nomenclature is "Onion Eaters"

el
 
2010-01-17 11:26:25 AM
el_mocoso: And, Dude, the preferred nomenclature is "Onion Majorly Hairy Pussy Eaters"

el



FTFY
 
2010-01-17 11:38:15 AM
"You frenchy, froggy, froggy, frenchy. Our lovely beefy. You frenchy, froggy, frenchy" Actual Telegraph editorial piece
 
2010-01-17 11:50:31 AM
I notice nobody's taking issue with the "lazy and arrogant" parts of the article.

/smelly frogs are smelly
 
2010-01-17 11:57:27 AM
No_One_Special: luckyeddie: Vampire_Blues: Funny, coming from the Brits, who had just been conquered and colonized by the French shortly before this.

Normandy wasn't France in the 12th century.

Normans still spoke French, non?


French was the language of business, culture and diplomacy back then, just as English is now. That doesn't make all English-speakers part of England, and it didn't make French-speakers part of France then, either.
 
2010-01-17 12:00:13 PM
Didn't Letterman come up with "cheese eating surrender monkeys?"

I laughed at the time, but I later learned I'm descended from few Hugenots that weren't killed by the catholics.

Oddly, I was adopted and raised catholic.

/at least the french gave me a purty mouth
 
2010-01-17 12:04:37 PM
Pure Gold, even after many years...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/victories.html

- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."

With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:

Norse invasions, 841-911.
After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

Andrew Ouellette posts this in response:

1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-

Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above:

Oh dear. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's".

Mexico, 1863-1864.
France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

Panama jungles 1881-1890.
No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

Napoleonic Wars.
Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.

Haiti, 1791-1804.
French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

India, 1673-1813.
British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):

1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

Third Crusade.
Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

Seventh Crusade.
St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

[Eighth] Crusade.
St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.

Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:

Seven year War 1756-1763
Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:

The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
 
2010-01-17 12:14:20 PM
skinink: If Napoleon had a better navy to fight against England, those bastards would not have been so quick to dismiss the French.

But he didn't, and France was invaded by Britain, and that filthy little jumped up corporal was cast off to a British island and died. So there.
 
2010-01-17 12:23:35 PM
wyltoknow: Jeanne D'Arc would have a few words with the wussy Brits who got beat by a GIRL.

In fairness, it was Milla Jovovich.

l.yimg.com
 
2010-01-17 12:28:24 PM
skinink: If Napoleon had a better navy to fight against England, those bastards would not have been so quick to dismiss the French.

And if he had an army of polar bears he would have beaten those damn Russians too.
 
2010-01-17 12:29:14 PM
Jebus Slaves: Didn't Letterman come up with "cheese eating surrender monkeys?"

I laughed at the time, but I later learned I'm descended from few Hugenots that weren't killed by the catholics.

Oddly, I was adopted and raised catholic.

/at least the french gave me a purty mouth


Dunno who coined it, but Groundskeeper Willie made it stick for me.
 
2010-01-17 12:37:40 PM
Well, I'm going to tell you guys something you probably don't want to hear: these sites are total bullshiat, the notion that the French are cowards is total bullshiat, and anybody who knows anything about European military history knows damn well that over the past thousand years, the French have the most glorious military history in Europe, maybe the world.

Before you send me more of those death threats, let me finish. I hated Chirac too, and his disco foreign minister with the blow-dry 'do and the snotty smile. But there are two things I hate more than I hate the French: ignorant fake war buffs, and people who are ungrateful. And when an American mouths off about French military history, he's not just being ignorant, he's being ungrateful. I was raised to think ungrateful people were trash.

When I say ungrateful, I'm talking about the American Revolution. If you're a true American patriot, then this is the war that matters. Hell, most of you probably couldn't name three major battles from it, but try going back to when you read Johnny Tremaine in fourth grade and you might recall a little place called Yorktown, Virginia, where we bottled up Cornwallis's army, forced the Brits' surrender and pretty much won the war.

Well, news flash: "we" didn't win that battle, any more than the Northern Alliance conquered the Taliban. The French army and navy won Yorktown for us. Americans didn't have the materiel or the training to mount a combined operation like that, with naval blockade and land siege. It was the French artillery forces and military engineers who ran the siege, and at sea it was a French admiral, de Grasse, who kicked the shiat out of the British navy when they tried to break the siege.

Long before that, in fact as soon as we showed the Brits at Saratoga that we could win once in a while, they started pouring in huge shipments of everything from cannon to uniforms. We'd never have got near Yorktown if it wasn't for massive French aid.

So how come you bastards don't mention Yorktown in your cheap webpages? I'll tell you why: because you're too ignorant to know about it and too dishonest to mention it if you did.

The thing that gets to me is why Americans hate the French so much when they only did us good and never did us any harm. Like, why not hate the Brits? They're the ones who killed thousands of Americans in the Revolution, and thirty years later they came back and attacked us again. That time around they managed to burn Washington DC to the ground while they were at it. How come you web jerks never mention that?

Sure, the easy answer is because the Brits are with us now, and the French aren't. But being a war buff means knowing your history and respecting it.

Well, so much for ungrateful. Now let's talk about ignorant. And that's what you are if you think the French can't fight: just plain ignorant. Appreciation of the French martial spirit is just about the most basic way you can distinguish real war nerds from fake little teachers'pets.

Let's take the toughest case first: the German invasion, 1940, when the French Army supposedly disgraced itself against the Wehrmacht. This is the only real evidence you'll find to call the French cowards, and the more you know about it, the less it proves. Yeah, the French were scared of Hitler. Who wasn't? Chamberlain, the British prime minister, all but licked the Fuhrer's goosesteppers, basically let him have all of Central Europe, because Britain was terrified of war with Germany. Hell, Stalin signed a sweetheart deal with Hitler out of sheer terror, and Stalin wasn't a man who scared easy.

The French were scared, all right. But they had reason to be. For starters, they'd barely begun to recover from their last little scrap with the Germans: a little squabble you might've heard of, called WW I.

WW I was the worst war in history to be a soldier in. WW II was worse if you were a civilian, but the trenches of WW I were five years of Hell like General Sherman never dreamed of. At the end of it a big chunk of northern France looked like the surface of the moon, only bloodier, nothing but craters and rats and entrails.

Verdun. Just that name was enough to make Frenchmen and Germans, the few who survived it, wake up yelling for years afterward. The French lost 1.5 million men out of a total population of 40 million fighting the Germans from 1914-1918. A lot of those guys died charging German machine-gun nests with bayonets. I'd really like to see one of you office smartasses joke about "surrender monkeys" with a French soldier, 1914 vintage. You'd piss your dockers.

shiat, we strut around like we're so tough and we can't even handle a few uppity Iraqi villages. These guys faced the Germans head on for five years, and we call them cowards? And at the end, it was the Germans, not the French, who said "calf rope."

When the sequel war came, the French relied on their frontier fortifications and used their tanks (which were better than the Germans', one on one) defensively. The Germans had a newer, better offensive strategy. So they won. And the French surrendered. Which was damn sensible of them.

This was the WEHRMACHT. In two years, they conquered all of Western Europe and lost only 30,000 troops in the process. That's less than the casualties of Gettysburg. You get the picture? Nobody, no army on earth, could've held off the Germans under the conditions that the French faced them. The French lost because they had a long land border with Germany. The English survived because they had the English Channel between them and the Wehrmacht. When the English Army faced the Wermacht at Dunkirk, well, thanks to spin the tuck-tail-and-flee result got turned into some heroic tale of a brilliant British retreat. The fact is, even the Brits behaved like cowards in the face of the Wermacht, abandoning the French. It's that simple.

Here's a quick sampler of some of my favorite French victories, like an antidote to those ignorant websites. We'll start way back and move up to the 20th century.

Tours, 732 AD: The Muslims had already taken Spain and were well on their way to taking the rest of Europe. The only power with a chance of stopping them was the French army under Charles "the Hammer" Martel, King of the Franks (French), who answered to the really cool nickname "the Hammer of God." It was the French who saved the continent's ass. All the smart money was on the Muslims: there were 60,000 of them, crazy Jihadis whose cavalry was faster and deadlier than any in Europe. The French army was heavily outnumbered and had no cavalry. Fighting in phalanxes, they held against dozens of cavalry charges and after at least two days of hand-to-hand combat, finally managed to hack their way to the Muslim center and kill their commander. The Muslims retreated to Spain, and Europe developed as an independent civilization.

Orleans, May 1429: Joan of Arc: is she the most insanely cool military commander in history or what? This French peasant girl gets instructions from her favorite saints to help out the French against the English invaders. She goes to the King (well, the Dauphin, but close enough) and tells him to give her the army and she'll take it from there. And somehow she convinces him. She takes the army, which has lost every battle it's been in lately, to Orleans, which is under English siege. Now Joan is a nice girl, so she tries to settle things peaceably. She explains in a letter to the enemy commanders that everything can still be cool, "...provided you give up France...and go back to your own countries, for God's sake. And if you do not, wait for the Maid, who will visit you briefly to your great sorrow." The next day she put on armor, mounted a charger, and prepared to lead the attack on the besiegers' fortifications. She ordered the gates opened, but the Mayor refused until Joan explained that she, personally, would cut off his head. The gates went up, the French sallied out, and Joan led the first successful attack they'd made in years. The English strongpoints were taken, the siege was broken, and Joan's career in the cow-milking trade was over.

Braddock's Defeat (aka Battle of Monongahela) July 1755: Next time you're driving through the Ohio Valley, remember you're passing near the site of a great French victory over an Anglo-American force twice its size. General Edward Braddock marched west from Virginia with 1,500 men -- a very large army in 18th-c. America. His orders were to seize French land and forts in the Valley -- your basic undeclared land-grab invasion. The French joined the local tribes to resist, and then set up a classic ambush. It was a slaughter. More than half of Braddock's force -- 880 men -- were killed or wounded. The only Anglo officer to escape unhurt was this guy called George Washington, and even he had two horses shot out from under him. After a few minutes of non-stop fire from French and Indians hidden in the woods, Braddock's command came apart like something out of Nam, post-Tet. Braddock was hit and wounded, but none of his troops would risk getting shot to rescue him.

Austerlitz, Dec. 1805: You always hear about Austerlitz as "Napoleon's Greatest Victory," like the little guy personally went out and wiped out the combined Russian and Austrian armies. The fact is, ever since the Revolution in 1789, French armies had been kicking ass against everybody. They were free citizens fighting against scared peasant and degenerate mercenaries, and it was no contest. At Austerlitz, 65,000 French troops took on 90,000 Russians and Austrians and destroyed them. Absolutely annihilated them. The French lost only 8,000, compared to 29,000 of the enemy. The tactics Bonaparte used were very risky, and would only have worked with superb troops: he encouraged the enemy to attack a weak line, then brought up reinforcements who'd been held out of sight. That kind of tactical plan takes iron discipline and perfect timing -- and the French had it.

Jena, Oct. 1806: just a quick reminder for anybody who thinks the Germans always beat the French. Napoleon takes on the Prussian army and destroys it. 27,000 Prussian casualties vs. 5,000 French. Prussian army routed, pursued for miles by French cavalry.

You eXile guys might want to remember that the French under Napoleon are still the only army ever to have taken all of continental Europe, from Moscow to Madrid. I could keep listing French victories till I had a book. In fact, it's not a bad idea. A nice big hardback, so you could take it to the assholes running all the anti-French-military sites and bash their heads in with it.

/oblig
//iirc this was written by "the war nerd"
 
2010-01-17 12:40:10 PM
TRIBALISTS all!
 
2010-01-17 12:41:04 PM
Where's my tl;dr?

I DEMAND TD;DR!
 
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