If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   The future will offer better employment possibilities. I call captain of the Enterprise. The good one, the Enterprise-E, not the other crappy ones   (io9.com) divider line 132
    More: Unlikely, british government, Enterprise, Graeme McMillan, quarantines, ethicists  
•       •       •

4904 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2010 at 8:17 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2010-01-16 05:47:31 PM
I'm calling the President of the Federation and I'd better get my own holodeck! I pity the schmuck who gets stuck cleaning it!
 
2010-01-16 06:11:22 PM
I just want a food replicator, a couple cases of Romulan ale and a holodeck.
 
2010-01-16 06:22:17 PM
I'll take a holodeck and a copy of Vulcan Love Slave IX.

And I want a phaser. I could have so much fun with one of those. I'd stun my friends, I'd stun my cats, I'd stun myself...
 
2010-01-16 06:25:20 PM
I HAVE A STAR DESTROYER HO HO HO
 
2010-01-16 06:35:18 PM
Tattoo removal technician is sure to be an in-demand career by 2030. Other than that, most predictions are just guessing.
 
2010-01-16 06:39:52 PM
I think I'll be pigeonholed into a single profession. After all, my career chip says that I'm only qualified to be Prime Minister of Norway.
 
2010-01-16 07:22:50 PM
Please. Everyone knows Riker was getting all the good action on that ship. First mate, ftw.
 
2010-01-16 07:37:19 PM
i call diana troi
 
2010-01-16 08:11:28 PM
FuturePastNow: I'll take a holodeck and a copy of Vulcan Love Slave IX.

And I want a phaser. I could have so much fun with one of those. I'd stun my friends, I'd stun my cats, I'd stun myself...


You'd get drunk and get the settings mixed up.
 
2010-01-16 08:20:08 PM
I call first mate on the USS Voyager, but only if Janeway is Captain, RAWR ...

New science ethicist? Wont that just be a new specialty for attorneys?
 
2010-01-16 08:22:18 PM
Nothing like the career opportunities in the field of vat meat technician. I can see the local trade colleges pushing this one.
 
2010-01-16 08:22:30 PM
I call being a manwhore to Klingon women.
 
2010-01-16 08:23:24 PM
Crosshair: FuturePastNow: I'll take a holodeck and a copy of Vulcan Love Slave IX.

And I want a phaser. I could have so much fun with one of those. I'd stun my friends, I'd stun my cats, I'd stun myself...

You'd get drunk and get the settings mixed up.


I'd use that setting that makes things glow red before blowing up. Only on the cats, though.
 
2010-01-16 08:23:53 PM
I call for being on the NCC-1701. Now if I could only find cabin 3C-46.

/obscure?
 
2010-01-16 08:24:10 PM
i284.photobucket.com

Who needs the Federation?
 
2010-01-16 08:24:41 PM
I've dedicated my life to studying the human mind so I can construct a hypno-ray and go on a Lex Luthor-style torrent of crime.

I wish all of our dreams to come true.
 
2010-01-16 08:25:15 PM
mantrum: Who needs the Federation?

Let's get out of here before something kills Guy!
 
2010-01-16 08:25:18 PM
OK, let's get this one out of the way:

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on the Enterprise?

Because they ain't working in the future either.
 
2010-01-16 08:26:21 PM
NCC-1701. No bloody A, B, C, *or* D.
 
2010-01-16 08:27:14 PM
Moist Farmer.

/Yeah, yeah
//Star Wars
///Wanna fight about it?
 
2010-01-16 08:27:46 PM
Shostie: I just want a food replicator, a couple cases of Romulan ale and a holodeck.

Chances are likely you'd drink the ale and do something stupid on the holodeck like ask to be peg by a Klingon woman.

/but ohh the claw marks could make fabulous battle wounds!
 
2010-01-16 08:29:39 PM
No Futurama yet? Sheesh

i484.photobucket.com
 
2010-01-16 08:30:10 PM
IdBeCrazyIf: Shostie: I just want a food replicator, a couple cases of Romulan ale and a holodeck.

Chances are likely you'd drink the ale and do something stupid on the holodeck like ask to be peg by a Klingon woman.

/but ohh the claw marks could make fabulous battle wounds!


NTTAWWT
/just sayin'
 
2010-01-16 08:30:16 PM
CygnusDarius: Moist Farmer.

/Yeah, yeah
//Star Wars
///Wanna fight about it?


You could do it on gas giants and get other valuable elements.

Solar farmer, satellite maintenance. The future is going to be cool as shiat.
 
2010-01-16 08:31:11 PM
BasqueBastard: I call for being on the NCC-1701. Now if I could only find cabin 3C-46.

/obscure?


Absolutely not. But it was a yeoman effort.
 
2010-01-16 08:34:44 PM
Here, I helpfully translated the list for you:

1. Body part maker = Fleshlight assembly line worker
2. Nano-medic = very small Depends changer
3. Pharmer of genetically engineered crops and livestock = ditch digger
4. Old age wellness manager/consultant = Depends changer
5. Memory augmentation surgeon = Depends changer
6. 'New science' ethicist = Fark thread troll
7. Space pilots, tour guides and architects = tour guides
8. Vertical farmers = ditch digger
9. Climate change reversal specialist = jizz mopper
10. Quarantine enforcer = security guard
 
2010-01-16 08:35:21 PM
PonceAlyosha: CygnusDarius: Moist Farmer.

/Yeah, yeah
//Star Wars
///Wanna fight about it?

You could do it on gas giants and get other valuable elements.

Solar farmer, satellite maintenance. The future is going to be cool as shiat.


Yeah, until you get in a situation like this (new window).
 
2010-01-16 08:35:33 PM
LegacyDL: I call being a manwhore to Klingon women.

www.startrekcollectibles.co.uk

spicewilliams-crosby.com

Scary faces and warrior boobs.
 
2010-01-16 08:39:40 PM
IdBeCrazyIf: Shostie: I just want a food replicator, a couple cases of Romulan ale and a holodeck.

Chances are likely you'd drink the ale and do something stupid on the holodeck like ask to be peg by a Klingon woman.

/but ohh the claw marks could make fabulous battle wounds!


Between the holodeck safeties and Wil Wheaton's character's mom in the sick bay, the only scars would be emotional ones.

/who would be able to make eye contact with Counselor Troi to work through the emotional issues after that?
 
2010-01-16 08:40:24 PM
FloydA: Tattoo removal technician is sure to be an in-demand career by 2030. Other than that, most predictions are just guessing.

Not as popular as anal stick removal techs. You might want to visit one of those.
 
2010-01-16 08:40:32 PM
Clock Spider Jerusalem: LegacyDL: I call being a manwhore to Klingon women.

Scary faces and warrior boobs.


I'd violate their Prime Directives!
 
2010-01-16 08:44:44 PM
c2.api.ning.com
 
2010-01-16 08:46:27 PM
I guess that gay sex orgy really payed off. They took our jobs!
 
2010-01-16 08:47:15 PM
I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean the holodecks. You KNOW that 95% of the usage on those things would be sex fantasies.
 
2010-01-16 08:47:37 PM
For all the TNG geeks in the thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReOw_2f4lpY (pops)

/not a rickroll
//put down beverage before viewing
 
2010-01-16 08:48:37 PM
null: /who would be able to make eye contact with Counselor Troi to work through the emotional issues after that?

I could see it now, you walk into the room ready for your session and she looks you over. However because taking a seat she tells you to just leave. You ask why and she says "There is nothing I can do.. my advice is to drink heavily."
 
2010-01-16 08:49:34 PM
Baryogenesis: I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean the holodecks. You KNOW that 95% of the usage on those things would be sex fantasies.

By far one of the funnier write ups (new window)
 
2010-01-16 08:50:16 PM
Ablative armor and Quantum torpedoes? Yeah, the -E is a pretty sweet ship. I'd rather be chief engineer tho. Too much BS being captain.
 
2010-01-16 08:50:30 PM
Jobs that will ruin the future:

1.- TSA holodeck worker

add on, I'm a bit lazy today.
 
2010-01-16 08:51:08 PM
Screw you subby.

Ambassador Class > Sovereign Class
 
2010-01-16 08:53:07 PM
I claim exclusive pimp for all 3-breasted Martian hookers.
 
2010-01-16 08:55:16 PM
I call captain of the Enterprise. The good one, the Enterprise-E, not the other crappy ones

I call the same job, as your evil goateed counterpart from an alternate universe
 
2010-01-16 08:57:55 PM
As a retired USAF pilot I am totally signing up for the space pilot job. Yeah, I'll be 80+ years old...stay the fark off my holo-lawn!
 
2010-01-16 08:59:41 PM
I will have the cosmetic surgery shop that adds and removes bumps from noses and foreheads.
I will be richer than the Orion Syndicate.
 
2010-01-16 09:03:05 PM
'New science' ethicist

/starts to giggle/

This will be my job. because I'm living to be 205.
 
2010-01-16 09:05:43 PM
The Grinch:

That was worth the risk of rickrollery.

+1
 
2010-01-16 09:12:24 PM
What does wil have to say about this?
 
2010-01-16 09:12:33 PM
www.technovelgy.com

Don't know, I don't know such stuff. I just do eyes, ju-, ju-, just eyes... just genetic design, just eyes. You Nexus, huh? I design your eyes.
 
2010-01-16 09:16:09 PM
Malacon: Screw you subby.

Ambassador Class > Sovereign Class


You'd pick the 1701-C over the "E"? If you're sure then so be it...
 
2010-01-16 09:18:44 PM
I'd be happy sitting in the asteroid belts running a drone mining operation living happily at about 350 years old with at least another 150 to go.

/life extension therapy, please.
 
Displayed 50 of 132 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report