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(Telegraph)   Two hunters try to quack into America's only nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant, hilarity enthues   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 64
    More: Dumbass, duck hunters, lockdowns, nuclear weapons, CST, camouflage, Telegraph  
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11037 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2010 at 6:51 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-15 06:52:51 PM  
Wabbit season?
 
2010-01-15 06:53:28 PM  
Sure, they WANTED you to think they were hunters.

Clever.
 
2010-01-15 06:54:27 PM  
Duck killers !!11!!!
 
2010-01-15 06:55:53 PM  
Note to terrorists: Feel free to infiltrate US nuclear facilities, just be sure have a few fake ducks on you when you're caught.
 
2010-01-15 06:56:11 PM  
What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.
 
2010-01-15 06:56:51 PM  
If "quack into" means "go duck hunting on the property next door, causing folks at the plant to overreact," then yes, they tried to "quack into" the place.

Subby can probably count to potato, too.

-1
 
2010-01-15 06:57:40 PM  
Dethpicable!
 
2010-01-15 06:58:11 PM  
Absolutely nothing ensues.
 
2010-01-15 06:59:34 PM  
Warthog: If "quack into" means "go duck hunting on the property next door, causing folks at the plant to overreact," then yes, they tried to "quack into" the place.

Subby can probably count to potato, too.

-1


img62.imageshack.us

visual assistance...
 
2010-01-15 06:59:40 PM  
Warthog: If "quack into" means "go duck hunting on the property next door, causing folks at the plant to overreact," then yes, they tried to "quack into" the place.

Subby can probably count to potato, too.

-1


Can you really blame eople working on a plant that can assemble and disassemble nuclear weapons for being a bit jumpy about presumably-camouflaged people with guns skulking about?

/although unless there was a sign of some sort on the neighboring property, they were still wrong.
 
2010-01-15 06:59:49 PM  
You mean asthembly, and dithasthembly plant?
 
2010-01-15 06:59:58 PM  
Who hunts duck with rifles?
Something doesn't add up here...
 
2010-01-15 07:00:15 PM  
img.wonkette.com

Does not approve.
 
2010-01-15 07:00:36 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

Anything else would be socialism. In the true capitalistic society America is our entire military should be privately contracted. I hope every real American is sick that it isn't.
 
2010-01-15 07:01:52 PM  
PaulieVegas: Note to terrorists: Feel free to infiltrate US nuclear facilities, just be sure have a few fake ducks on you when you're caught.

Terroriths? Abthurd!
 
2010-01-15 07:03:47 PM  
Wanted for questioning:
cdn-www.cracked.com
 
2010-01-15 07:04:05 PM  
Note to terrorists: Feel free to infiltrate US nuclear facilities, just be sure have a few fake ducks on you when you're caught.

you left out that they need to take note that the only nuclear assembly/disassemble plant is near Amarillo TX, and easily accessable by foot for their walking convenience
 
2010-01-15 07:04:11 PM  
Yes, because it's perfectly okay to shoot guns next door to a nuclear assembly plant. Now let's go spy on Area 51.
 
2010-01-15 07:05:04 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

ummm this

the government should own and run some things, this is one of them

/police and public libraries are some others
 
2010-01-15 07:05:36 PM  
zepplinrules: Who hunts duck with rifles?
Something doesn't add up here...


Look what state this comes from.

jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

This.
 
2010-01-15 07:06:50 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

The Lake City Army Ammunition Plant, the single largest supplier of ammo to the military, is government-owned and privately-operated.

I'd imagine this is quite common for the government, as it allows them to get competing bids for plant operations and for other reasons.

Many other things made for the government, like weapons, vehicles (land vehicles, rockets, spacecraft, aircraft, etc.) are all privately-produced.
 
2010-01-15 07:12:03 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

Many of the large DoE facilities are operated by private entities.

Sandia Labs = AT&T
Los "birthplace of the A-Bomb" Alamos = Univ of California
Pacific Northwest Labs = Batelle
 
2010-01-15 07:15:19 PM  
This is why civilized countries ban guns.

How does the US think they can dictate to countries like Iran or North Korea on how to conduct their peaceful research when the US is spending Trillions in finding new ways to mass murder brown people?
 
2010-01-15 07:16:39 PM  
As safe as the place probably is, I don't think I'd be interested in the animals surrounding the place. Yeehaw Cletus, that duck has three wings!
 
2010-01-15 07:18:43 PM  
nctexas1976: near Amarillo TX, and easily accessable by foot for their walking convenience

Fortunately, they can see you coming for about a week.

chizzle: jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

ummm this

the government should own and run some things, this is one of them


If it makes you feel any more secure, its guard force is unionized and actually went on strike in 2007. For 45 days.
 
2010-01-15 07:18:55 PM  
chizzle: the government should own and run some things, this is one of them

and then hope they the are not running any dinner parties at the site
 
2010-01-15 07:19:42 PM  
God-is-a-Taco: As safe as the place probably is, I don't think I'd be interested in the animals surrounding the place. Yeehaw Cletus, that duck has three wings!

That just means more white meat.
 
2010-01-15 07:24:03 PM  
I enjoy clever headlines. I enjoy even more watching dumbasses go 'omfg fail subby u r teh dum' to the idiots who are smart enough to make a Fark login, but not smart enough to read things twice.

Funny stuff.
 
2010-01-15 07:26:46 PM  
Julio Lopez: This is why civilized countries ban guns.

How does the US think they can dictate to countries like Iran or North Korea on how to conduct their peaceful research when the US is spending Trillions in finding new ways to mass murder brown people?


0/10. That's some seriously weak troll-fu right there.
 
2010-01-15 07:27:22 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

Gotta love that military-industrial complex, eh?
 
2010-01-15 07:29:03 PM  
FTA: "There was not a threat to the Pantex plant assets, workers, or the public, and the plant is now returning to normal operations," the company said in a statement.

More importantly, the article fails to mention whether the duck hunters were permitted to return to their normal legal operations.

I would suggest that whatever size the Pantex property is that it should be large enough that people duck hunting nearby garners no more attention than a close watch, especially if they are not approaching the property. Harassing people engaged in a legal activity on property unrelated to that being protected is just poor form.

/terrorism only works when you have a willing partner in spreading terror
//a partner much like our government, unfortunately
 
2010-01-15 07:30:38 PM  
Julio Lopez: This is why civilized countries ban guns.

How does the US think they can dictate to countries like Iran or North Korea on how to conduct their peaceful research when the US is spending Trillions in finding new ways to mass murder brown people?


Little known fact, the entire "we're peace loving Christians" is a cover sent out by our media. The truth is we are the descendent's of vikings, and must invade other countries to please our gods.
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2010-01-15 07:32:01 PM  
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!"

- Daffy Duck
 
2010-01-15 07:34:10 PM  
Acharne: I enjoy clever headlines. I enjoy even more watching dumbasses go 'omfg fail subby u r teh dum' to the idiots who are smart enough to make a Fark login, but not smart enough to read things twice.

Funny stuff.


Ah yes, bittermitters who probably had their offerings passed over. The hunters had decoys and a blind, are duck calls that much of a stretch? That would mean they were "quacking" into the plant since they were next door. It also means they were not really a threat. Getting a sense of whimsy will improve your approval rating.
 
2010-01-15 07:38:01 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

It's the GOCO (government owned, contractor operated) model that is in use at many government installations. In the case of Pantex, the contractor handles the paperwork, the payroll withholding, the snow removal, the changing of the fluorescent lights, and exciting stuff like that. The employees are technically employed by the contractor but their backgrounds are investigated by the Feds and they generally have clearance issued by the Feds which if revoked leads to an end to their employment by the contractor. In order to retain the contract, the contractor must meet specific annual requirements -- don't think that the folks running Pantex dictate to the Feds what they will or will not do (except when safety considerations don't permit operations and schedules slip).

Note to the curious: Just upwind of Pantex is an Iowa Beef slaughterhouse and packing plant. Being at Pantex in August is like a preview of Hell.
 
2010-01-15 07:46:20 PM  
Rifles, eh?

Though I will admit they do make shotshells in non-shotgun calibers, but I've only seen them in pistol calibers. I suppose they could have been pistol-caliber carbines with shotshells...
 
2010-01-15 07:58:00 PM  
Thanks to this article, I now know where American nukes are assembled and disassembled.
 
2010-01-15 08:09:07 PM  
jepzilla:

What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated

Dunno about said plants, but national labs tend to be run by universities and then subcontracted out to large companies like Westinghouse or GE, then subcontracted out for security to companies like Wackenhut or EG&G, and then somewhere in there they hire people like me.

/ yeah, sleep well tonight.
 
2010-01-15 08:11:36 PM  
Draskuul: Rifles, eh?

Though I will admit they do make shotshells in non-shotgun calibers, but I've only seen them in pistol calibers. I suppose they could have been pistol-caliber carbines with shotshells...


I've got real good money on they were hunting geese with shotguns. Hunting migratory waterfowl has very specific restrictions, including non-toxic (no lead) shot, so just about any rifled round is out, even FMJ shells. They were probably doing everything legally since no story I've seen mentions any arrests.

"Legal shotguns, lawful archery equipment, including crossbows, falconry, dogs, artificial decoys and manual or mouth-operated bird calls."

What a better news story might look like:

local newspaper (^)

/dreaming of hunting geese with a falcon...
 
2010-01-15 08:18:24 PM  
Julio Lopez: This is why civilized countries ban guns.


You can do better than that.
 
2010-01-15 08:25:18 PM  
chizzle: jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

ummm this

the government should own and run some things, this is one of them

/police and public libraries are some others


I think the government would rather own car companies.
 
2010-01-15 08:31:41 PM  
What the hell is wrong with the subby?

This was a perfectly rational thing. Suspicious activity, authorities check it out, hunters comply- everything back to normal.

Subby deserves Dumbass tag.
 
2010-01-15 08:46:38 PM  
So America has only one nuclear assembly and disassembly plant, it's in Carson County Texas and standard procedure is to call the sheriff when you see armed men near it.

Why does this information being publicly available bother me?
 
2010-01-15 08:51:58 PM  
Joining the chorus of "That was a dumb headline that had almost nothing whatsoever to do with the article."
 
2010-01-15 08:53:19 PM  
There should have been an earth-shattering kaboom.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2010-01-15 08:58:49 PM  
zepplinrules: Who hunts duck with rifles?
Something doesn't add up here...


Someone has played too much Duck Hunt in his/her youth.
 
2010-01-15 08:59:00 PM  
dl.dropbox.com

Not amused.
 
2010-01-15 09:03:00 PM  
jepzilla: What I find interesting about that is America's nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly plant is privately operated.

What I find interesting is it's run by the company that's responsible for the state of the nuclear power industry in the US right now...

I'm actually amazed that after TMI, B&W even exists in the field. That wasn't their FIRST screwing of everyone, either...
 
2010-01-15 09:08:39 PM  
the_be_sharps: Draskuul: Rifles, eh?

/dreaming of hunting deer with a golden eagle...


FIFY

Link (new window)
 
2010-01-15 09:31:04 PM  
zepplinrules: Who hunts duck with rifles?
Something doesn't add up here...


It adds up just fine once you realize that the story was written by reporters. To sum up:

www.thefirearmblog.com

I'm sure they were shotguns.
 
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