FARK.com: (4940234) "I breastfeed my dog" (not safe for work)

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(Some Guy)		"I breastfeed my dog" (not safe for work) (pickmeupmagazine.co.uk)		232
		More: Weird, breast milk, breastfeeding, nipples, sucks, babysitter

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26271 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2010 at 4:54 PM | Favorite | share:

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232 Comments (+0 »)

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petieluvsu		2010-01-15 02:17:43 PM

dude.

beerrun		2010-01-15 02:19:23 PM

Nope, not clicking on that link.

ricewater_stool		2010-01-15 02:20:22 PM

I couldn't resist looking. Yes, she is just as fugly as you expected.

unlikely		2010-01-15 02:22:04 PM

no way I click that.

Sensei Can You See		2010-01-15 02:32:26 PM

flaEsq		2010-01-15 02:32:55 PM

Whoa

Stoj		2010-01-15 02:36:13 PM

*fap*

Stoj		2010-01-15 02:37:56 PM

I like how she gives the full name and age of her ex and her current boyfriend for no apparent reason whatsoever.

ne2d		2010-01-15 02:39:44 PM

I'm pretty sure that's not possible.

Megain		2010-01-15 02:48:48 PM

ne2d: I'm pretty sure that's not possible.

why wouldn't it be possible?

ne2d		2010-01-15 02:54:40 PM

Megain: ne2d: I'm pretty sure that's not possible.

why wouldn't it be possible?

In order to nurse, a baby's lips have to make a perfect seal around the nipple. It doesn't seem like a dog's mouth would be able to do that (an adult dog, that is). Plus, I think the dog's instinct would be to lick, not suck.

/OK now I'm getting turned on.

Stoj		2010-01-15 02:56:52 PM

Dogs nurse from their mother, no?

And from those with peanut butter.

HollandRivers		2010-01-15 03:03:10 PM

I hate the farking internet.

robmilmel		2010-01-15 03:05:47 PM

Stoj: I like how she gives the full name and age of her ex and her current boyfriend for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Evidently so the mental health professionals can find them easily for dating this nutjob.

Wight Power		2010-01-15 03:06:15 PM

Bookmarked

timujin		2010-01-15 03:08:34 PM

and things didn't work out with her boyfriend? How odd...

brap		2010-01-15 03:12:27 PM

Yeah, I love critter threads!

*click*

Hold me.

Babwa Wawa		2010-01-15 03:17:59 PM

bookmarked for later referral to what I predict will be an awesome thread.

FloydA		2010-01-15 03:24:19 PM

Hollywood Cole		2010-01-15 03:27:38 PM

No words........

Cake Hunter		2010-01-15 03:29:00 PM

Okay. So, um.

It was free, too, which was good, because since I'd split up with her dad, Ted Collins, 35, when she was 3 months old, money was tight.

I'm not sure we needed to know the guy's age, but what the heck. We're way past the "too much information" part of the story.

Dixie jumped on the settee and I held my left
boob towards her. I squeezed out some milk, and wiped it around my nipple.
Within seconds, her long, pink tongue was gently licking my skin.
It tickled at first, but then, as she started suckling away, it didn't feel much different to having Tasha there.
'You liked that, didn't you girl?' I said, as she gently pawed my chest.
Despite having a mouthful of sharp teeth, she didn't bite me and 10 minutes later, I gently pulled her off.

fap

My mum, Jane, 62,

I don't know why, but the constant listing of ages is creeping me out more than the puppy suckling.

So I didn't tell my boyfriend of one month, Paul Murphy, 33.
On 15 October, I missed my period and was thrilled to find out I was pregnant.
Sadly, things didn't work out with me and Paul, so after four months together, we split.

That's sad. I wonder why Paul Murphy, 33, left?

Yes, it's weird. But it works for us.

Hey, you know what? You're right. Knock yourself out, puppy tits.

nekom		2010-01-15 03:30:37 PM

Just when I thought I'd seen everything. Rule 34 I guess. Don't get me wrong, I've seen WAY worse, but that's about the gotdamndest thing I've seen in awhile.

RodneyToady		2010-01-15 03:34:44 PM

That's what happens when you stare too long at the liner notes for Boys for Pele.

Adjective Bird Whiskey		2010-01-15 03:36:53 PM

Well. Ok.

tin_man		2010-01-15 03:42:14 PM

Stoj: Dogs nurse from their mother, no?

And from those with peanut butter.

Yeah, pretend like you don't know.

ricewater_stool		2010-01-15 03:44:44 PM

Belle and Sebastian are not impressed.

Stoj		2010-01-15 03:46:14 PM

tin_man: Yeah, pretend like you don't know.

I don't NOT know.

SoothinglyDeranged		2010-01-15 03:50:06 PM

No longer just man's best friend, it would seem.

lerry		2010-01-15 03:50:46 PM

Nope, definitely wouldn't hit that.

beerrun		2010-01-15 03:53:21 PM

Nope, still not clicking that.

lerry		2010-01-15 03:54:19 PM

Am I the only one that's surprised somebody had sex with that women?

Adman12		2010-01-15 03:56:34 PM

FTFA:

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Clearly, Dixie liked my milk.
So a few nights later, after I'd fed Tasha, Dixie jumped on the settee and I held my left
boob towards her. I squeezed out some milk, and wiped it around my nipple.
Within seconds, her long, pink tongue was gently licking my skin.
It tickled at first, but then, as she started suckling away, it didn't feel much different to having Tasha there.
'You liked that, didn't you girl?' I said, as she gently pawed my chest.
Despite having a mouthful of sharp teeth, she didn't bite me and 10 minutes later, I gently pulled her off.

Censored pic:

Dude.

HollandRivers		2010-01-15 03:57:02 PM

lerry: Am I the only one that's surprised somebody had sex with that women?shiat, now that you mention it....I was too blindsided by puppyboob to think of that!

wtfisthat		2010-01-15 04:05:12 PM

KIll HER WITH FIRE!!1

FloydA		2010-01-15 04:06:56 PM

lerry: Am I the only one that's surprised somebody had sex with that women?

i105.photobucket.com

/And "bow wow" into "woah...no."

Cake Hunter		2010-01-15 04:18:17 PM

Also, dogs are usually lactose intolerant. On top of the all the weirdness, this dog is probably sh*tting smoothies afterward.

jimmyego		2010-01-15 04:27:19 PM

♫ You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals ♫

beerrun		2010-01-15 04:27:56 PM

Adman12: FTFA:

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Clearly, Dixie liked my milk.
So a few nights later, after I'd fed Tasha, Dixie jumped on the settee and I held my left
boob towards her. I squeezed out some milk, and wiped it around my nipple.
Within seconds, her long, pink tongue was gently licking my skin.
It tickled at first, but then, as she started suckling away, it didn't feel much different to having Tasha there.
'You liked that, didn't you girl?' I said, as she gently pawed my chest.
Despite having a mouthful of sharp teeth, she didn't bite me and 10 minutes later, I gently pulled her off.

Censored pic:

Dude.

You had to do that, didn't you?

excuse me while I go hurl.

tedbundee		2010-01-15 04:56:06 PM

beerrun: Nope, not clicking on that link.

Wow! I found your comment insightful/funny! +1 jerkface!

Solid State Vittles		2010-01-15 04:56:17 PM

Cruel new twist on the term "sweater puppies."

CravenMorehead		2010-01-15 04:56:18 PM

I can't fap to this!

jake3988		2010-01-15 04:56:38 PM

Um... is there any particular reason the ENTIRE ARTICLE is one giant link pointing back to itself? I think their website kinda botched their html.

medius		2010-01-15 04:57:31 PM

i'd rather drink malk

the_librarian4		2010-01-15 04:57:56 PM

beerrun: Nope, still not clicking that.

agreed.

Joe Hallenbeck		2010-01-15 04:58:10 PM

lerry: Am I the only one that's surprised somebody had sex with that women?

If watching Maury has taught me one thing, it's that no matter how ugly and farked in the head a woman is, somewhere out there is a man willing to fark it.