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(London Times)   Lemony Snicket author speaks to grade school, asks one kid "Is life getting you down? Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?"   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 72
    More: Amusing, Lemony Snicket, Snicket, lie-to-children, JK Rowling, Jim Carrey, pen name, paperbacks, Edinburgh  
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8277 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2010 at 6:55 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-14 06:10:45 PM
Although all his novels are splendid,
His candor cannot be defended.
Once we realize
That everything dies?
That moment, our childhood has ended.
 
2010-01-14 06:38:45 PM
I cannot agree with you, Maxx
I think you just need to relax
I've read every one
A dark kind of fun
Better than playing with jacks
 
2010-01-14 07:00:12 PM
...and then he devoured every last one of them.
 
2010-01-14 07:01:13 PM
She's the author of her own name?!
 
2010-01-14 07:04:09 PM
Cervidanti: She's the author of her own name?!

She also has a penis. This thread is turning into one big "The Aristocrats" joke.
 
2010-01-14 07:05:29 PM
MaxxLarge: Although all his novels are splendid,
His candor cannot be defended.
Once we realize
That everything dies?
That moment, our childhood has ended.

Welcome to my favorites list. Great verse, As was iamrex. Loved both you guys, never seen you around.
 
2010-01-14 07:06:29 PM
I read the first few paragraphs, and felt as if I wasn't reading English.
 
2010-01-14 07:06:30 PM
"After an hour-long performance, it takes Handler three hours to work through his signing session. ... He turns to a shy little girl in a pink coat who is last in the queue. 'Oh, I'm sorry. We are right out of time.'"

This man is my new hero.
 
2010-01-14 07:08:16 PM
I liked the note he sent to the editors about his first book: "You'll love this, the parents die on the first page."
 
2010-01-14 07:10:37 PM
He turns to a shy little girl in a pink coat who is last in the queue. 'Oh, I'm sorry. We are right out of time.

This guy sounds like a total prick.
 
2010-01-14 07:10:47 PM
Life extension technologies are just around the corner. Aging is just a pattern, a program.
/Offer void when the cheap energy runs out
//Looks like that will be sooner than later
 
2010-01-14 07:11:48 PM
I came in for a bit of rhyme,
I do it all the time.
When I saw there were two
I knew just what to do:
Add this one, absurd yet sublime.
 
2010-01-14 07:12:30 PM
Devil's Playground: He turns to a shy little girl in a pink coat who is last in the queue. 'Oh, I'm sorry. We are right out of time.

This guy sounds like a total prick.


He's hilarious.

(Psst... it's a joke... notice it doesn't say that he didn't sign her book.)

He's definitely someone I'd like to hear speak if I got the chance.
 
2010-01-14 07:15:04 PM
Anything that brings more young goth girls into the world I approve of.
 
2010-01-14 07:15:28 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Aroused
 
2010-01-14 07:21:54 PM
Am I the only one who hated that movie with Jim Carrey? All the adults were total idiots (normal for kids movies but really bad here) and all the interesting plot points were never explained.
 
2010-01-14 07:24:06 PM
When my daughters were little, I read them every single word of the "Series of Unfortunate Events" books as bedtime stories. If they end up doing something horrible, like boiling their classmates in oil or wearing different colored socks, I suppose I will have only myself to blame.
 
Rat
2010-01-14 07:24:15 PM
Its getting so I can't understand English anymore.

©
 
2010-01-14 07:28:19 PM
Devil's Playground: This guy sounds like a total prick.

His sardonic kind of wit
Writ with intelligence and spit
Humor, you have none.
What you really should have done
Is pick up his book and read it.
 
2010-01-14 07:31:33 PM
Am I the only person who thinks scaring children with thoughts of death isn't really funny?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for jumping out at opportune moments and giving my kids a scare. They always get mad, then end up cracking up. Fun scary.

Hey kids, what if your parents died? Not so fun scary.

/just sayin
 
2010-01-14 07:32:24 PM
/Yeah, I read it.
 
2010-01-14 07:35:55 PM
This reminds me of when Neil deGrasse Tyson came to our Town Hall.

An eight-year-old boy goes up to ask Tyson whether he knows about a rocket being launched that will eventually reach Pluto. Tyson is up on the stage, and he's a huge guy, so he gets down on his knees and says, "Yeah I do! Now let me ask you something: if you were strapped to that rocket and shot in to space, how old would you be when you got to Pluto?"

"But Mr. Tyson," the boy stammered, "if I was strapped to a rocket and shot in to space, I'd die!"

Laughter all around.

Tyson laughs too, and then says, "Yeah, that's true! So first, you would begin to asphyxiate. Then, as you got in to space, your blood would boil and your skin would begin to peel off..." and proceeds to spend a good five minutes describing to this kid exactly how he'd die in space.

It was awesome.

/cool story, cool mama
 
2010-01-14 07:37:55 PM
RockyMtnMan: I read the first few paragraphs, and felt as if I wasn't reading English.

Well, it's not as if it wasn't as if you were.
 
2010-01-14 07:39:35 PM
iamrex: I cannot agree with you, Maxx
I think you just need to relax
I've read every one
A dark kind of fun
Better than playing with jacks


Your a poet,
didja know it?
 
2010-01-14 07:39:51 PM
Who?
 
2010-01-14 07:42:31 PM
iamrex: Devil's Playground: This guy sounds like a total prick.

His sardonic kind of wit
Writ with intelligence and spit
Humor, you have none.
What you really should have done
Is pick up his book and read it.


I have nothing against middle aged angst, lord knows I have felt my share of it. I just don't think an adult needs to bring up things like "Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?" to a primary school aged child. Also, I am feeling very low energy today and I am grumpy.

The books came out after my kids were grown, but I did watch the movie and thought it was pretty good for that kind of flick. Now that my 9 Y.O. grandson is living with me, I will go buy one of these and read it with him.

I'm still grumpy, though.
 
2010-01-14 07:46:17 PM
Back in my day, we didn't have any Lemony Smicket. We had to read the old Sears catalogues, and we liked it.
www.michaelspornanimation.com

/Hot, like the flashes of my wife.
//Still grumpy.
 
2010-01-14 07:46:34 PM
Devil's Playground: I have nothing against middle aged angst, lord knows I have felt my share of it. I just don't think an adult needs to bring up things like "Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?" to a primary school aged child. Also, I am feeling very low energy today and I am grumpy.

Yea, except a kid is more likely just to hear the drama of that and enjoy a charismatic performance by a mysterious author. It's adults that get depressed about it. As a kid, I would have just thought that was cool and been excited that Lemony Snicket talked to me.
 
MIU
2010-01-14 07:47:52 PM
I got a Lemony Snicket book for xmas, so I find this topic vaguely apropos.
 
2010-01-14 07:53:23 PM
When my girlfriends and I were reading A Series of Unfortunate Events, we created a little adult beverage called the Lemony Snickett:

2 parts citron vodka
1 part limoncello
a dash of grapefruit bitters
club soda

Pour over ice in a highball. Very good, indeed, and fuel for our own series of unforutunate events - ifyaknowhaddimean.
 
2010-01-14 07:54:20 PM
Genevieve Marie: Devil's Playground: I have nothing against middle aged angst, lord knows I have felt my share of it. I just don't think an adult needs to bring up things like "Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?" to a primary school aged child. Also, I am feeling very low energy today and I am grumpy.

Yea, except a kid is more likely just to hear the drama of that and enjoy a charismatic performance by a mysterious author. It's adults that get depressed about it. As a kid, I would have just thought that was cool and been excited that Lemony Snicket talked to me.


Good point. Sometimes it's easy to forget how fun it was to be a kid. I think I'm going to stop and buy myself a slot car set on the way home. I mean buy my grandson a slot car set.
 
2010-01-14 07:58:19 PM
Had they read his stuff before they invited him to speak? WTF did they think he was going to say?
 
2010-01-14 08:01:09 PM
The quicker kids come to terms with their existence usually the better off things will be for them.

Hell if all kids went on a Stand By Me experience they might end up being better for it.

Unless they end up like Chris Chambers...
 
2010-01-14 08:03:27 PM
...People aren't genuinely worried that Scotskidz, who grow up hearing every hero is decapitated or never hame rode he, are going to be upset by the 'chill breath of mortality'?
 
2010-01-14 08:03:53 PM
Genevieve Marie: Yea, except a kid is more likely just to hear the drama of that and enjoy a charismatic performance by a mysterious author. It's adults that get depressed about it. As a kid, I would have just thought that was cool and been excited that Lemony Snicket talked to me.

Exactly. I think that a lot of the detail in the series is missed by younger - or at least less intelligent - kids. They only pick up what they already comprehend for the most part, but the mystery and cleverness of the author is exciting and comprehensive for all.
 
2010-01-14 08:15:09 PM
".... Keep it up."

/tried to find pic of Terry Jones saying that w/ the undertaker hat, and failed miserably
 
2010-01-14 08:29:29 PM
Devil's Playground:
I have nothing against middle aged angst, lord knows I have felt my share of it. I just don't think an adult needs to bring up things like "Are you watching as the sands of time tumble down the hourglass as you march towards death, the chill breath of mortality on your skin?" to a primary school aged child. Also, I am feeling very low energy today and I am grumpy.


I don't think kids really understand that kind of stuff, just like a lot of adults dont' really deal with death until it starts happening to people around them. It's just a scary story.

Going around saying stuff like "what would it be like if your parents died?" is probably not cool, though.

/Although half the little farkers I know would answer "It would be cool!" and start telling you all the things they could do if their parents were dead.
 
2010-01-14 08:35:48 PM
MaxxLarge: Although all his novels are splendid,
His candor cannot be defended.
Once we realize
That everything dies?
That moment, our childhood has ended.


If you think tales of death's ghoulish rot
Are too much for a poor grade-school tot,
Dispel thoughts of young grief.
These kids felt relief:
Bear in mind, every one was a Scot.
 
2010-01-14 08:36:29 PM
As much as I loved the first few books, the ending was very disappointing.

Strangely appropriate.
 
2010-01-14 08:47:58 PM
iamrex: Pour over ice in a highball. Very good, indeed, and fuel for our own series of unforutunate events - ifyaknowhaddimean.

You gotta bag that sucker to avoid that.
 
2010-01-14 08:55:51 PM
RockyMtnMan: I read the first few paragraphs, and felt as if I wasn't reading English.

I had the opposite reaction. I felt as though at last somebody thought highly enough of children to treat them to beautifully-written language. Beside Roald Dahl, that is.
/effn Annie and Jack books
 
2010-01-14 08:56:39 PM
Was the kid Haitian?
 
2010-01-14 09:04:04 PM
My cool story, bro --

I got to do a phone interview with Handler about two years ago -- he told me how he and his wife (a graphic designer) had just finished making posters to hang up at his son's school, a Jewish day school in San Francisco (where he lives). The posters were to invite everyone to a special lecture at the school given by a literary giant: Anne Frank.

Nice guy, if a bit twisted. Just a fun, fun interview.
 
2010-01-14 09:17:26 PM
iamrex: When my girlfriends and I were reading A Series of Unfortunate Events, we created a little adult beverage called the Lemony Snickett:

2 parts citron vodka
1 part limoncello
a dash of grapefruit bitters
club soda

Pour over ice in a highball. Very good, indeed, and fuel for our own series of unforutunate events - ifyaknowhaddimean.


Know I don't knowhatyamean. Please explain in detail.
 
2010-01-14 09:23:30 PM
www.jewcy.com

The author.
 
2010-01-14 09:39:04 PM
Devil's Playground: Back in my day, we didn't have any Lemony Smicket. We had to read the old Sears catalogues, and we liked it.


/Hot, like the flashes of my wife.
//Still grumpy.


Back in my day, we didn't read the Sears catalogue, we just looked at the pictures of Cheryl Tiegs in one-piece swimsuits, because that was the only pron we had.
 
2010-01-14 09:39:31 PM
blowfish2000: RockyMtnMan: I read the first few paragraphs, and felt as if I wasn't reading English.

I had the opposite reaction. I felt as though at last somebody thought highly enough of children to treat them to beautifully-written language. Beside Like Roald Dahl, that is.instead of this hack.
/effn Annie and Jack books


FTFY
 
2010-01-14 09:49:17 PM
FTFA: "That starred Jim Carrey and took $209 million at the box office - a mix that seemed to guarantee a sequel until stange studio politics intervened."

Even spellcheck, let alone a copy editor, should have caught that one. And in an article about Lemony Snicket, wielder of vocabulary.

/*sigh*
 
2010-01-14 09:59:58 PM
I read a couple of the Series of Unfortunate Events, and if you are already enough a fan of the books to be waiting on line for an autograph, you are not going to be disturbed by such comments from the author. Yes, even if you are eight.

And seriously, people, if your kid at age eight already has that kind of psychological awareness and anxiety about their own mortality, they've been traumatized and possibly psychologically abused. Developmentally healthy eight-year-olds don't "understand" death outside of it meaning they don't get to see grandpa or Mr. Kibbles the class gerbil anymore. It's just ridiculous to think that the average kid would process these comments like an adult and imagine them as threatening.

Also, I don't think the guy is a full-on jerk. I'm sure the little girl in pink eventually got her autograph - after his little quip. If this guy was being a bona-fide dick to these kids, causing them genuine distress, I'm sure we'd be reading a very different article.
 
2010-01-14 10:03:47 PM
Anodos: And in an article about Lemony Snicket, wielder of vocabulary.

/*sigh*


Yes. Thank you.
 
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