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(WWSB ABC 7)   Two out-of-shape college guys watch Man Vs Wild and get inspired to kayak from Chicago to the Gulf Of Mexico. What could go wrong?   (mysuncoast.com ) divider line
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17110 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2010 at 11:46 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-01-13 06:03:39 PM  
This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2010-01-13 06:24:12 PM  
Good for them. I hope I'm in the will.
 
2010-01-13 06:49:35 PM  
Two college students living in Sarasota are planning to kayak across the U.S. They're calling themselves the Kayak Dudes, and they need your help to get their adventure underway.

i was going to wish them well until i saw the name they chose for themselves. now i kind of don't care if they drown in a whirlpool of mississippi hillbilly rape.
 
2010-01-13 09:07:22 PM  
My parents have a house on a fairly large creek in Ohio. I've often wondered what it would be like to follow that creek down past Cincinnati, St. Louis, and New Orleans and into the Gulf...

/sounds like a cool trip, bro
 
2010-01-13 09:13:49 PM  
They got the idea from "Man vs. Wild"... So, they'll just tape themselves paddling a mile or so, stay in some hotels, fly down to the Guld and tape them paddling out a few hundred feet?
 
2010-01-13 09:15:35 PM  
How in-shape do you need to be? It's all downhill... just drift.
 
2010-01-13 09:18:13 PM  

RoxtarRyan: They got the idea from "Man vs. Wild"... So, they'll just tape themselves paddling a mile or so, stay in some hotels, fly down to the Guld and tape them paddling out a few hundred feet?


as long as at some point they have to bite into a piece of bear shiat and wash it down with their own urine, i'm fine with that.
 
2010-01-13 09:46:17 PM  
that's neat. Where should i send the flowers?
 
2010-01-13 09:56:26 PM  

ScubaDude1960: How in-shape do you need to be? It's all downhill... just drift.


Well, they thought they might have to deal with "Bears...poisonous snakes, crazy people, hill folk, who knows, you never know what you'll find."

You know how dangerous those hill folk can be. You better be in shape or you'll be squealing like a pig in no time.
 
2010-01-13 10:02:25 PM  

Aarontology: You know how dangerous those hill folk can be. You better be in shape or you'll be squealing like a pig in no time.


The whole hill folk thing is a bit overdone. They'll just kill you when you stumble onto their grow operation/meth lab. It's not like anyone will ever find the body.
 
2010-01-13 10:23:33 PM  

IrateShadow: Aarontology: You know how dangerous those hill folk can be. You better be in shape or you'll be squealing like a pig in no time.

The whole hill folk thing is a bit overdone. They'll just kill you when you stumble onto their grow operation/meth lab. It's not like anyone will ever find the body.


They'll be twittering the whole time, I'm sure. Running into the moonshiners/meth cookers might be the first entertaining "tweets" that have ever been... um... tweeted? twoeten?
 
2010-01-13 11:48:41 PM  

thomps: a whirlpool of mississippi hillbilly rape.


That kind of has a nice ring to it. Throw another "rape" in there and you have a deal.
 
2010-01-13 11:48:58 PM  

MasterThief: My parents have a house on a fairly large creek in Ohio. I've often wondered what it would be like to follow that creek down past Cincinnati, St. Louis, and New Orleans and into the Gulf...

/sounds like a cool trip, bro


Having kayaked hundreds of miles of creeks and rivers in Ohio... I say go for it. I am no getting a kick from your reply.
 
2010-01-13 11:50:01 PM  
wait what? Where do I sign up, that sounds awesome.
 
2010-01-13 11:50:04 PM  
It sounds like a cool trip, a trip that they should finance themselves.
 
2010-01-13 11:52:53 PM  
Simpson's did it.
 
2010-01-13 11:53:00 PM  
Everyone's in bad times right now in the U.S., and it's just something we can do . . .

. . . if we can convince other people to pay for our year-long indulgent adventure vacation.


Odds are they'll get jammed in a culvert somewhere, but I hope they survive. Some small measure of wisdom will surely result.
 
2010-01-13 11:53:02 PM  
Okay, having now read TFA... these guys are (soon to be dead) farking morons.
 
2010-01-13 11:56:24 PM  
But these two are a long way from the starting line. They still have a lot of planning to do and a lot of money to raise.

What? Why? Planning, sure, but how much money does it take to kayak cross-country? A couple of kayaks, some camping gear, purchase food along the way...it's a lot slower than driving, but there's no gas to buy and no hotels to pay for.

On the other hand, if you're bummin' money off strangers in a recession...might as well grab what you can, I guess.

Morans.
 
2010-01-13 11:57:14 PM  
Mapping the route ahead of time? GPS? laptop? Video Camera? Is this an adventure or an advertisment for Fry's? WTF. They don't need all that crap, in fact it will just get in the way of the adventure. I used to do a lot of bicycle touring. I rode all over Ca. and Nevada. Rarely did I pre-plan the route, aside from something vague like, "I am going to ride down the coast". All you need is the basics. A decent sleeping bag, small camp stove, clothes, personal care items, etc.. The fun is all of the people you meet along the way and the scenery you encounter. I even once met a Kayaker who was going down the coast of CA. He walked right out of the water and into the same hiker/biker camp I was staying at. These guys will be too busy staring into their laptop or GPS device to ever talk to anybody or notice their surroundings. I suppose it beats another year of them sitting around playing video games and getting fat though.
 
2010-01-13 11:57:55 PM  
Man v Wild? Sounds a little more like Into the Wild, pre-Alaska...
 
2010-01-13 11:59:30 PM  
I wonder if they plan to paddle down the Miss. They are stupid if their largest worries are animal life. I would guess the biggest hazards will be river traffic and the currents.

They will be damned hard to spot by a tug captain with a 1/2 mile of barges in front of him. Same thing with large freighters and the like. They they will get to avoid all the piers and stations that plants put along the river so ships can on/off load product.

The other is the current. The river is farking big. It looks calm. I've been on platforms out in the current and it can be very rapid. I've seen eddies suck down large logs and spit them up 100 yards down river. I don't think a dumbass in kayak would stand much of a chance in such a case.
 
2010-01-13 11:59:34 PM  
Took the same trip last month with a friend. It was not all that exciting

/except for the one legged prostitue, blue monkey, and priest we came across at a pier
 
2010-01-13 11:59:39 PM  
database down test!
 
2010-01-14 12:00:15 AM  
Okay...database not down. Carry on.
 
2010-01-14 12:01:17 AM  
lolzrofl
 
2010-01-14 12:01:59 AM  

relcec: Sounds like fun...


Niiiiice. Great movie. i just don't understand the ending. I mean he got accepted to Harvard. Why wouldn't he try and build a farking RAFT? Or fell a large tree to make a bridge? Why? WHHHHHHHYYYYY?
 
2010-01-14 12:06:35 AM  
So when they drown, will the story's Fark tag be "Fail" or "Follow Up"?
 
2010-01-14 12:07:21 AM  
darwin could be thwarted?
 
2010-01-14 12:07:31 AM  
We're gonna create our own brand of urban kayaking
 
2010-01-14 12:08:21 AM  
They're calling themselves the Kayak Dudes, and they need your help to get their adventure underway.

So, in other words: hopeless drunken mission needs funding.
 
2010-01-14 12:09:02 AM  
Honestly. This isn't impressive. Hasn't anybody heard about the guy that literally swam the longest rivers in the world?

Martin Strel SWAM: the Danube, Mississippi, Yangtze, and Amazon Rivers.

Amazing documentaries if you ever catch them.
 
2010-01-14 12:12:49 AM  

relcec: Sounds like fun...


Came for Into the Wild reference leaving satisfied, but so very very sick
 
2010-01-14 12:13:05 AM  

ChuableVicodin: relcec: Sounds like fun...

Niiiiice. Great movie. i just don't understand the ending. I mean he got accepted to Harvard. Why wouldn't he try and build a farking RAFT? Or fell a large tree to make a bridge? Why? WHHHHHHHYYYYY?


Yeah, I had the exact same reaction. Same with the self-poisoning.......sucked that it was based on a true story.

Good movie, nonetheless.
 
2010-01-14 12:13:52 AM  
because he was poisoned and could barely move. currents were intense and he had been starving for a descent amount of time
 
2010-01-14 12:15:18 AM  
Their web site sucks and the one dude looks like a homo with that farking flower in his hair.
 
2010-01-14 12:16:14 AM  
Having kayaked the Chicago River a few times, I can think about what could possibly go wrong.

/I saw some pretty strange things floating in the river as I kayaked by them.
//Vowed to myself that if I ever fell in I would immediately go to Northwestern Hospital and demand to be hosed down.
 
2010-01-14 12:16:33 AM  

mad22river: because he was poisoned and could barely move. currents were intense and he had been starving for a descent amount of time


I just watched this like a week ago, and I am pretty sure at least in the movie, when he originally saw the river blocking his path, he was not sick.....yet!

Great film, one to truly enjoy.
 
2010-01-14 12:19:47 AM  

relcec: Sounds like fun...


BTW, see my post just prior to yours...
 
2010-01-14 12:22:45 AM  

Knucklepopper: Their web site sucks and the one dude looks like a homo with that farking flower in his hair.


Meh. They're young college guys. Having been a young college guy myself, my expectations are pretty low.

Isn't it neat that with the internet, millions can mock you instead of the select local few.

Then again, they'll probably get a hundred thou in donations, endorsements from kayak, camping, and sports drink manufacturers, a movie deal and a fun vacation.....so paint me jealous.
 
2010-01-14 12:23:45 AM  

wingnut396: I wonder if they plan to paddle down the Miss. They are stupid if their largest worries are animal life. I would guess the biggest hazards will be river traffic and the currents.

They will be damned hard to spot by a tug captain with a 1/2 mile of barges in front of him. Same thing with large freighters and the like. They they will get to avoid all the piers and stations that plants put along the river so ships can on/off load product.

The other is the current. The river is farking big. It looks calm. I've been on platforms out in the current and it can be very rapid. I've seen eddies suck down large logs and spit them up 100 yards down river. I don't think a dumbass in kayak would stand much of a chance in such a case.


This.
The first lock they encounter they will call it off and head home if they don't go over the spillway.
 
2010-01-14 12:26:29 AM  
Joey Al-Kahwati
...
prolly have a bomb strapped to his kayak

/profiling
 
2010-01-14 12:26:34 AM  

Bohemian: wingnut396: I wonder if they plan to paddle down the Miss. They are stupid if their largest worries are animal life. I would guess the biggest hazards will be river traffic and the currents.

They will be damned hard to spot by a tug captain with a 1/2 mile of barges in front of him. Same thing with large freighters and the like. They they will get to avoid all the piers and stations that plants put along the river so ships can on/off load product.

The other is the current. The river is farking big. It looks calm. I've been on platforms out in the current and it can be very rapid. I've seen eddies suck down large logs and spit them up 100 yards down river. I don't think a dumbass in kayak would stand much of a chance in such a case.

This.
The first lock they encounter they will call it off and head home if they don't go over the spillway.


Not to mention that the portages would suck because of all the extra video/computer/network/gps gear.
 
2010-01-14 12:30:19 AM  
how about getting jobs and paying taxes!.....AND GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
 
2010-01-14 12:30:33 AM  

thomps: Two college students living in Sarasota are planning to kayak across the U.S. They're calling themselves the Kayak Dudes, and they need your help to get their adventure underway.

i was going to wish them well until i saw the name they chose for themselves. now i kind of don't care if they drown in a whirlpool of mississippi hillbilly rape.


That is one of the funniest things I've seen down on Fark for awhile. Whirlpool indeed. Clever.
 
2010-01-14 12:31:59 AM  
Cool story, bro: Friend and I canoed the Wolf in Wisconsin from Shawano to Appleton on the Fox. 120 miles in 4 days. Had a box of canned stew and a butane stove.

Capsizing is a fear: cold water and hypothermia. Otherwise should be easy enough if they stay out of sweepers (trees with branches hanging into the current), away from dams (with nasty back-currents you can't escape from), and well away from barges that wouldn't even notice the tiny bump or pitiful wet screams.
 
2010-01-14 12:32:20 AM  
"They're hoping to complete the 2,100 mile trip in three to four weeks."

2100mi/28days=75mi/day. In a kayak. Good luck with that.

Although they may be able to make up some time on the Illinois/Mississippi near St. Louis. Watch out for those wing dams!

There isn't many places to stop for supplies from Grafton/Alton, Il south either, so better stock up on Powerbars and Budweiser while you can.
 
2010-01-14 12:34:37 AM  
In the 70s my uncle and his stoner friends drove from Miami to Argentina.

/cool story, hermano
 
2010-01-14 12:38:08 AM  
does anyone have a link to the old fark story about the to the two guys that built a raft out of barrels and went down the miss? I have it saved to favorites at work...ill post tomorrow if I remember, but if anyone has it, post it for all, it's a great read.
 
2010-01-14 12:39:53 AM  
Mountain Man: Now let's you just drop them pants.

We already know what happened in the movie.
 
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